“Your sister and your mother won’t want you to move north. And you’ve become very fond of the kids.” He was trying to convince her to stay, but saying all the wrong words. “It would be hard to leave your family now.”
“Not so hard. They’re so happy, it’s almost sickening. It’s like living with the Brady bunch.”
She couldn’t tell him the truth—how it would break her heart to leave Amy now. She loved her so much, and Kelly and Nick. Heck, she’d even miss Beets.
“Jenna, I’m sorry you feel that way. It’s not a bad thing to have a family who appreciates each other and are not afraid to express their feelings.”
After a second of silence, he added, “It’s okay to be a single career woman, but it’s also nice to have family ties and people that love you.”
“I know that,” she snapped. “I don’t need a lecture from you.”
“You know that, do you?” His voice was like liquid honey. “Tell me. What’s it really going to feel like to leave Amy and the kids?”
She felt a pang of anxiety. Would her leaving affect them adversely, or was she the only one who didn’t do well with goodbyes?
“Oh, never mind.” She refused to discuss her feelings over this. Her sister’s family was a permanent part of her life now, no matter where she lived.
“Enjoy your trip to Honduras. And have fun with Catherine. Make sure she has the opportunity to eat some of that delicious seafood down there.”
He chuckled. “I’ll give her your best.” Then he rang off.
She banged the phone back onto the hook, and her hands curled into fists. What was she going to do now? Find herself an apartment and commit to this catering business, or give up this crazy idea and do what she knew best?
It would have been an easier decision if Grant had been enthusiastic about her moving in. But now she wondered if his feelings were genuine.
Could he be having an affair with Catherine? The very idea turned her stomach. She didn’t want to believe that he was capable of duplicity, but considering her history with men, she wouldn’t rule it out.
Jenna was making stabbing motions with the pen in her hand as Cindy walked into the room.
“How’d it go?” She saw Jenna’s face. “Ooh, not good. What happened?”
Jenna told her. “And now he’s going away with that Catherine Melrose bitch. She wants to sleep with him so bad, and now I’ve given him a perfect reason to.”
“Why don’t you make an unexpected appearance?” Cindy’s eyes sparkled. “Fly down there and claim your man.”
Jenna’s lips twitched. “I might. It sure would piss Catherine off, and that alone is good enough reason.”
Cindy touched her hand. “I was hoping you might do it for the right reasons—not for the wrong ones.”
Jenna stood up. “You know, I think I am.”
She wasn’t ready to voice her thoughts, but for the past several weeks the idea of adopting a child had been niggling at her brain.
She had loved taking care of Amy and the older kids. They had all taught her so much. For the first time in her life she considered what it would be like to be a mother and have a child of her own.
Maybe Grant wouldn’t fit into this equation at all. She knew he loved children, at least the ones in his care. She’d never questioned him as to why he and his wife were childless.
It was highly unlikely he’d want them now. If she started the adoption process, she wouldn’t blame him if he bailed. But she sincerely hoped she could warm him to the idea. The more she bounced it around in her head, the more it seemed to stick.
Having her own baby to hold, to love, to nurture and cherish, would fill all the empty places in her heart. She’d be a great mother, once she set her mind on it.
CHAPTER THIRTY
Jenna woke up the next morning feeling far from well-rested. She had so many things going on in her life, so many unknown factors. And now she was seriously considering adopting a baby? Ludicrous. But she couldn’t get the idea out of her mind. Tick-tock, tick-tock. She could practically hear that stupid biological clock ticking away.
This was crazy. She didn’t have a husband, or even a for-sure boyfriend. She certainly didn’t have enough disposable income to raise a child without a solid career—unless she took that job in Chicago. Then she’d have enough money to hire a nanny to care for the child during her working hours.
A fledging catering business could take years to grow. She would be lucky to support herself, let alone have money left over for day care. She might as well hang up her chef’s hat and let Catherine Melrose think she had run Jenna out of town.
Depending on catering jobs was about as reliable as flying to the moon. She needed a real job that paid real money—not pipe-dreams.
If there was one thing in the world Jenna was, it was pragmatic.
She was about to call ANP in Chicago and tell them she was coming on board, when the phone rang.
It was Kelly, calling from school on her cell phone. “I forgot to tell you, Aunt Jenna, but yesterday you got an important phone call. The tape you sent in for the Top Chef must have been a big hit. You’re one of the fifteen finalists.”
“Are you sure?” Jenna’s heart began to race. “When did they call? Did they leave a number?”
“Yes. You were in the shower when they called. I was running late, as usual, and Nick threatened to leave without me. Sorry about that.”
“That’s okay, hon. Maybe they’ll call again.”
“I wrote the number on a scratch pad in the kitchen. Hurry and call them back. It might not be too late.”
“It’s no big deal if it is. But thanks for remembering and calling me.”
Jenna glanced around the countertop, moved the newspaper, then searched the junk drawer. “I’ll let you know what happens. Are you coming home right after school?”
“Yes. We don’t have cheerleading practice anymore. We’ll be out for the summer in a couple of weeks.”
“That’s right. Okay, wish me luck.”
“Good luck, Auntie Jen.”
A couple of minutes later, Jenna found the notepad and sat down to call. She tried to tell herself it didn’t matter.
It would be nice to compete and see how she could do against other amateur chefs like herself, but if she’d missed the opportunity because of a forgotten message, then it was not meant to be.
But the truth was…it mattered very much. To win, or even be a runner-up, would give her catering business exposure and open doors for her. More importantly, it would allow her to stay in Florida—near Grant, and her sister’s family.
She closed her eyes and let happy thoughts dance through her brain. This could be huge. It would give her a chance to have it all. A career she would enjoy, a man by her side, and yes, the possibility of a child.
She preferred making her own luck, but right now she’d take it any way she could get it.
Jenna’s palms were damp. Excitement fluttered in her belly as she dialed the number. “Hello, may I speak with Ms. McIntyre?” She waited to be transferred. “This is Jenna Cassali, and I’m sorry not to have returned your call sooner, but I only received your message now.”
“No problem. I was about to call you again, but you’ve saved me the trouble. Congratulations! You have been chosen as one of the fifteen contestants in our Top Chef competition. It begins on June eighteenth at the Culinary school in West Palm Beach, and runs for three days. Will you be able to attend?”
“Yes, I certainly will.” Jenna was striding around the room as she talked. “I’m a newbie at this sort of thing. Would you mind explaining how the competition works?”
“It’s very simple,” Ms. McIntyre said. “There will be a series of cooking challenges. Our judges vote on each contestant’s entry. It’s a very big honor to win. The local papers cover the contest and a TV station will usually invite the winner to appear. As we all know, there is nothing better than free publicity.”
“That’s true.”
“Also, the winner receives a cash prize of ten thousand dollars and a free course at the institute. It’s a wonderful opportunity. The fun part about this contest is that everyone, like you, is a non-professional. It’s purely for people who like to cook.”
“I’m very much looking forward to it.” Jenna’s excitement was squashed as she realized the date. “You did say June eighteenth, correct?”
“Yes, is that a problem?”
“No, no, that will be fine.” It was the day Grant left for Honduras. With Catherine. “I wouldn’t miss this for the world.”
Jenna hung up and sank into the nearest chair.
So what if it was the week Grant would be in Honduras with her worst enemy? Jenna didn’t need to go running after him. She had never in her life chased any man.
Besides, she trusted him, didn’t she? And if he was the type of man to cheat or have multiple partners, she didn’t want him anyway.
The only problem might be keeping her mind and eyes on the prize. She could not allow herself to be distracted. Priority one would be to win Top Chef. Number two—convince Grant that he couldn’t live without her. And number three—adopt a baby.
Hell, if I’m going to dream big, I might as well make it a whopper.
* * *
After another sleepless night, Jenna decided she couldn’t let Grant leave without talking to him. She drove over to his place and knocked on his door. He opened up right away, but didn’t invite her in.
“Jenna. What are you doing here?”
“You’re leaving next week, and I didn’t want you to go without saying good-bye.” She smiled seductively and played with the zipper on her pale pink denim jacket.
She wore snug jean shorts and a tank top under the jacket. Her black on black outfits were neatly stored away, and she hoped to keep them there. “Won’t you let me in?”
“Yes, sure. But I’ve got a lot of work to do. I haven’t even started packing. Hell, I don’t know what to take to the jungle. Place is probably hotter than Hades.”
“I’m sure it is. But you’ll be working in an air-conditioned clinic, won’t you?”
He ran a hand over his chin, and grinned. “I’m sure the air conditioning will consist of open walls. It’s a third world country, don’t forget.”
“Right.” She unzipped her jacket completely, giving him an eyeful. “Hon, I came here because I’ve given a lot of thought to what we talked about. About us.” She hoped she sounded more confident than she felt.
“I’ve been a gutless chicken-shit most of my life, and it’s time for me to take a stand. I do want more out of life than a career and an empty home. I want love, and companionship, and a family.”
She took a deep breath and gushed out, “I want to be with you, Grant.” She stared at him, hoping her eyes showed what was in her heart.
Words of love were foreign to her, and also a little overwhelming. She had something more important to tell him, and the love part could wait. Later she’d tell him, if he didn’t run off scared.
“You were right when you said I’d miss the children if I took that job in Chicago. You’ve been right about everything all along.” She glanced at his face but couldn’t get a read on his emotions.
She forced herself to go on. “I never thought the day would come when I’d want a child of my own, but after taking care of Amy…well, she’s just so sweet and adorable, and now my arms feel empty.”
Grant didn’t respond, so she blundered on. “You love children. I’ve seen you with them—the way your face lights up when they curl a finger around yours, or smile at you. It’s not too late. You and I—we can try.”
“Jenna.” He took her hands and drew her into the living room. He led her to the sofa and sat her down. “I thought you knew how I felt about children. I love them, yes, but from a distance. I don’t want any of my own.”
After looking into her eyes, he continued, more gently, “I’m so sorry. I thought you understood this. You’re a career woman and that’s one of the things I love about you. I believed we both felt the same way about marriage and kids.”
“I did.” She swallowed hard. “But after spending all this time with Cindy’s kids, I realized how special a family can be.” She clutched his hands more tightly, wanting to make him see how wrong he was.
She hoped, against all logic, to change his mind. After all, if she could have a change of heart, then surely, so could he. She was fighting for their life together. No way would she give up easily.
“We’re missing out, Grant. There’s so much more to life than what we’re doing.” She sucked in air, finding it increasingly hard to breathe. “I’m willing to put everything on the line and go for it. You wanted me to take a chance on you, and now I want you to take a chance on us.”
He moved away, ever so slightly. “What does that mean to you?”
“I mean, I want to move in with you, and I would like us to try for a baby. If that doesn’t work, we could try other alternatives, like adoption.”
His face went from tan to gray. He held his head between his hands, his face lined with grief.
Panic seared through her. “What’s wrong, Grant? I expected a little opposition, but knowing the affection you have for babies, I thought this might make you happy.” Her voice rose in desperation as she fought for her dreams. “Help me understand why you wouldn’t want your own child?”
He shook his head. “Oh, Jenna. I never expected this. I wanted to be with you because of who you are. You didn’t seem to want the trappings of marriage or feel the need for children. I thought we could share friendship and companionship. A life together, yes, with the possibility of it leading to marriage. I just don’t want any more children.”
“Any more?” Her voice cracked. “You never told me you had a family.” What else didn’t she know about this man? Why had she been so foolish to put her heart on the line for a man she barely knew?
“I had a son. He died when he was five.” Slowly, painfully, he told her the story. She was crying by the end of it.
“And that’s why I’ve never wanted another child,” he said. “I couldn’t go through that again.”
“Oh, Grant.” Tears dripped from her chin and fell in her lap. “I’m so very sorry.” Her voice broke in a sob, and she flung her arms around his neck. “Don’t you see it was an accident? A horrible, terrible mistake. You can’t let it prevent you from living, or trying again.” Her damp cheek rested on his. “We’re still young. We can do anything we want with our lives.”
Grant moved back and swiped at his own tears. “I don’t know if I could do it again. The idea of having another child terrifies me.” He drew in a shaky breath. “But what you say makes sense. It’s just that I’ve never allowed myself to think of the possibilities.”
He leaned over and kissed her lips. “Let me think about this for a few days. Okay?”
She nodded, and he continued, “I’d love for you to move in here while I’m away. There’s nothing I’d like more than to know that when I come home, you’ll be here.”
“I’d like that too.”
His kiss became deeper. “I have a better idea. Why don’t you come with me?”
“I can’t.” She told him about the competition and how it could launch her catering career.
“That’s fantastic news.” He squeezed her shoulders and kissed her neck. “I’m proud of you, honey.” His eyes held hers. “This also means you won’t have to consider the Chicago job. You can call them up and tell them no.”
“Maybe I could put them on hold for awhile. Make sure I don’t blow this competition.”
He stroked her cheek. “Cut the chain, Jenna. You can’t commit fully to one thing if you’re holding on to something else.”
It made sense—perfect sense. And yet it was her safety net.
“I’ll call them later today. Right now, I have something else on my mind.”
He smiled. “Would that be breakfast?”
“Think again.” She took
his hand and led him toward the bedroom.
They made sweet, tender love that touched and awakened her emotions like nothing she’d ever experienced before.
Afterward he gave her the key to the house, and she promised she’d move in next week.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
Grant left on the following Monday, and Jenna was about to enter a challenge that could easily change the direction of her life.
Not to put undue pressure on herself, but winning meant she could stay in Florida, cater for a living, and never look back. Losing meant she might have to move to Chicago, or Miami, or another big city, and rejoin the ranks of corporate America.
She knew her culinary skills were limited. She wasn’t a chef. She’d had no formal training. The finest instrument she had working was her brain. Would it be enough?
Jenna felt a little overwhelmed by it all. She sensed that some of the other contestants were equally uncomfortable. Glancing around at the others, she saw some conversing in small groups, while others stood quietly, waiting for the introductions to be made.
“Welcome, everyone.” An attractive woman in her mid-fifties without a spare pound on her, wearing a blue wraparound dress spoke, “I’m Marcia Callaway, and I am pleased to be your host this year.”
They were standing in an enormous gleaming kitchen with a wall of ovens and cook-tops. A huge work counter in the center of the room had been divided into stations for each.
Jenna noticed the men outnumbered the woman. Why it surprised her she had no idea. She knew most of the world’s finest chefs were men. She had hoped this contest would pit her against stay-at-home moms whose culinary skills were limited to baking cookies for school.
“This is going to be a fun and friendly competition,” Marcia said, “At the end of these next three days, we hope everyone will have made new friends and enjoyed the experience. I’d like for each of you to introduce yourselves and say a few words about your background and tell us why you are here.”
One young man was the son of a famous chef, another woman had published her own recipe book. And so it went.
ESCAPE INTO ROMANCE- 4 Book Bundle Page 43
