“I have Michael. They have the same DNA.” Linda followed the direction of Jessica’s gaze. She leaned over the table, her chest nearly sitting in her untouched beans and rice. “How much do you want to disappear?”
“Nothing.” Jess wanted to be part of a family. She pushed herself to her feet, her cold and clumsy feet.
“What are you two talking about?” Thomas asked, smiling as Duffy wheeled him to their table.
“It was a pleasure meeting you.” Jess tried to smile. It felt as if she were lifting her lips when they’d been tied to hundred-pound weights. “I need to get back.” To her life. To a place where her heart and her baby would be safe.
“Mom.” Duffy’s voice was a quiet reprimand. There was no surprise in his expression. He’d anticipated this from his mother all along.
Linda had sat back in her chair, arms crossed again. “She’s lying about everything. That’s not even Greg’s baby.”
“I didn’t come here to get something from you. Any of you.” Jess found Duffy’s gaze. He hadn’t warned her. He’d said his mother would want to spoil the baby. “I came here to learn about the father of my baby. I don’t put conditions on love.”
Linda scoffed. “Who said anything about love?”
“Mom,” Duffy warned, more sternly this time.
“No,” Jess said. “Let her cling to her fear. Even if I shared my memories of Greg with her, she wouldn’t be happy.”
“You said you couldn’t remember.” Linda was spiraling out of control. “She said she couldn’t remember. She lied. It’s Greg all over again.”
“Linda, please.” Thomas wheeled himself closer to his wife. He reached for her. “This is our grandchild.”
Linda shook her head back and forth, as if she could erase the situation if she denied it vehemently enough.
Duffy moved to Jessica’s side. “I’m sorry. I was hopeful she’d believe you the way I did.”
“What made you believe her, Michael?” Thomas asked.
This was so wrong. Love wasn’t supposed to be like this. There was supposed to be trust, not proof. Jess turned to go. Baby thumped her bladder.
Duffy reached for her hand, holding her in place. “I believe Jess. That should be enough.”
Linda made a derogatory sound.
It didn’t matter. Duffy’s hand was warm around Jessica’s cold fingers. He trusted her. He believed her.
He just didn’t want anything to do with her.
Jess found her voice, as thin and fragile as a silken thread. “I can remember Greg being kind to me, stopping to help me change a flat tire. I can remember him bringing me flowers and sharing a dessert in a restaurant. But those vague memories will never satisfy you. You’ll always doubt me and my child.” She stayed when she should have left it at that. Her gaze fell on Duffy’s father. “Thomas, you refuse to see the bad in your son. I loved him, but he wasn’t a saint. I may not remember enough to prove it, but I feel it in my heart.” Duffy’s mother looked aghast. “And Linda, you only see the bad in him. I couldn’t love a man who was more bad than good. Why would you resent anyone who could see the good in him?”
Duffy’s grip on her fingers tightened.
“And Duff...” Here, Jess hesitated, because she didn’t want to hurt him, but the words—the words!—they pressed forward. “Duffy, you don’t want to see your brother at all. I don’t even know why you carry that picture in your wallet or why you framed that photo in your living room. I may not remember Greg, but I want to. Not only do you not want to recall anything positive about your brother, you don’t want to make good memories with the people around you today.” She’d run out of air, but somehow managed to get out this last: “You all need to forgive Greg and each other.”
The Dufraines were speechless. The lunch crowd at El Rosal was speechless. Even Baby was still.
“I have to go. I really have to go.” Jess managed to work her way past the wheelchair, the bitter woman and the man whom her heart felt she could love.
* * *
“DON’T SAY A WORD, Mom,” Duffy rasped after Jess crossed the street heading for his house.
Jessica’s shoulders were hunched and her head hung low. Duffy could relate. He felt defeated, too. It was one thing to think about Greg poorly, to feel relief when he was gone, but another to have his lack of love for his brother be spoken out loud.
I loved him, his heart protested weakly.
Around them, the other customers had fallen silent, enjoying the show.
His mother looked as if she were about to launch into a repetitive chorus of I told you so. At his glare, she pressed her thin lips together.
“I like Jess.” Dad was altogether too chipper. “She hit all the points on the bull’s-eye.”
That unhinged Mom. “What does it matter what that woman thinks?” She gathered her purse. “She knows now that we won’t be easy marks. We’ll need proof before she gets a dime.”
“She doesn’t care about money.” All she’d ever wanted was family. Even if it was only a make-believe one in an abandoned bakery.
“She cared about Greg,” Dad said gruffly. “And she seemed to care about you, Michael.”
He’d done a good job of squelching anything in that direction. “I’m not looking for a relationship.” And what she’d said about forgiving Greg? He wouldn’t know where to begin.
“Exactly what Jess said.” Dad reached for Duffy’s hand. “We’ve talked in circles about Greg for so long, kept our wounds and defenses on lockdown. It’s refreshing to hear someone give it to us straight. I loved Greg, despite what he did. The loss of a son is worse than the loss of money.”
“You’re a fool,” Mom said, moving to take the handles of his wheelchair.
“I’m a fool with a big heart. I’ve got room in it for you and Duffy and Greg and my grandchild. And maybe even for Jessica.”
Another maternal head shake. “You’ll be broke in a month if you let her come around.”
“I don’t think so.” Dad gazed up at Duffy. “Michael doesn’t believe it, either.”
“I can’t have any part of this.” Mom looped her purse over a wheelchair handle. “Not without proof.”
“What if she signed a document saying she had no claim to Greg’s money?” Ah, the price of peace. Although it had been Jess who originally suggested it, Duffy felt it would take a global summit to get Jess to agree now.
“Talk to her before she leaves, son. Give your mother some time to get used to the idea of being a grandmother.”
He didn’t say anything about Linda forgiving Greg. They both knew that was impossible.
* * *
ALL TOO SOON, Jess was at Duffy’s house, digging through her purse, setting a ten on the table to cover her lunch bill. When she reached her car, Duffy appeared at the hedge.
As if sensing she was leaving, Goldie ran up to her, most likely because she didn’t want to miss out on a car ride.
“Not today, girl.” Jess bent to pet her. When she straightened, Duffy stood before her, his face as hard-edged as the first day they’d met. “Thanks again for putting up with me. I...uh... I’m not going to apologize for lunch.”
“I’m not asking you to.” Classic Duffy. “But about that—”
“I’ll let you know when the baby comes.” Best not rehash the negative.
He’d given her his cell phone number earlier, but hadn’t asked for hers in return. She imagined it was his way of keeping his distance. He couldn’t call to check up on her, as he had with Rutgar, if he didn’t have her number.
Duffy’s attention drifted toward Main Street and the bakery, but he didn’t bring up her moving to town. “Are you sure I can’t talk you into a dog?” Goldie had taken her usual position at his feet, one of her small paws on the top of his boot.
“No.” Impulsively, she reached up and hugged him, pressing a kiss to his cheek. Without meaning to, her belly bumped him and she wobbled.
His arms came around her. “Careful.”
Careful, darling. That china cost more than you make in a week.
Jess gasped.
“Are you okay?” Duffy asked, lips close to her ear.
She gripped him tighter.
I hope you’re okay, because I’m not. I missed an important business meeting to have dinner with you.
Memories drenched her. Each one a hit from Greg’s ugly-boyfriend playlist.
“No,” she whispered. “No.”
Greg’s laughter. Not joyous. Not friendly. Not warm.
It was a gamble. We pooled our money for the franchise application and it was turned down. If you can’t build another nest egg soon, we’re done.
She’d left him. She’d left him. She’d left him.
With her pride in tatters and her heart broken and her bank account empty. Because she was afraid if he knew about the baby, she’d be tied to him and his lies forever.
Or worse. That he’d consider her and her child nothing but a financial obligation.
“Greg didn’t steal from me.” Jess stepped from Duffy’s embrace. “I gave him the money. I loved him. He said we were applying for a bakery franchise. The application money was nonrefundable.”
“And you believed him?”
“I...” A feeling set its grappling hook on her insides. A feeling, not a memory. “I think I gave him the money because I was pregnant. I think I wanted him to stay and I thought... I believed the only reason he’d stay with me was if I gave him what he wanted.” She was pathetic. Money didn’t make people stay. Love did. She’d known that before the accident and had fled...into the path of an oncoming car.
“How much? How much did he take?”
If she told him, Duffy would feel responsible. She knew him well now. He may claim he wanted no part of being responsible for anyone, but that was only a lie he told himself. He cared. He’d try to make things right.
Goldie sat at his heels. She knew a good man when she saw one.
“It doesn’t matter. I gave him the money. He didn’t steal it from me. I might just as well have gone to Vegas.”
“You remember it all?”
“Snatches. Answers.” An ugly side to Greg she didn’t want to think about.
“My mother...”
“She’d eat that for breakfast and demand more at lunch.”
His hesitation indicated he agreed. “My parents want to see you again.”
That wasn’t happening. “I’m not going to answer twenty questions for your mother.” Not because she wouldn’t, but because she couldn’t.
“She might be the grandmother you want if we drew up a contract.”
Jess placed her hand on his cheek. There was stubble there. And warmth. And strength. None of it hers long-term. “I meant what I said. I don’t want your money. I don’t want to prove who I am. If I sign a paper, it won’t make us family.” That had to be earned. “Baby deserves a positive, happy environment.”
“Baby deserves family.” His eyes were caramel-soft. His voice honey-smooth. “And a contract is the best way to compromise with my mother and solidify family. Isn’t that what you came here looking for?”
“Some families you’re born into. And some you wrap yourself up in along the way.” She could feel the Martin Bakery calling from here. Jess pulled her hand free. “I want to be wrapped up. Or else I’ll take nothing at all.”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
JESS WAS GONE. It felt like for good.
He should have been relieved. Instead, he was shamed. She’d loved Greg. His brother had taken her money. And she’d forgiven him. Why couldn’t Duffy do the same?
Because he didn’t want to. Along with the money, Greg had stolen some of the best years of Duffy’s life. Dad’s accident fifteen years ago had changed things forever, but it was Greg’s greed three years later that had started a slow press that threatened to squeeze the life out of Duffy. Just thinking about it made him sick.
In bed that night, Goldie snuggled closer to his shoulder with a gentle sigh. He stroked her thin, curved spine, resting his palm on the silky fur over her haunches. She rubbed her nose on his hand and then relaxed with another contented sigh.
Duffy relaxed, too. Goldie didn’t put any conditions on affection. If you treated her with respect and care, she’d love you in return. Duffy couldn’t understand how Jess and Dad could love and get past the hurt and betrayal.
Sleep was elusive. In the wee hours of the morning, he took Goldie outside, staring up at the cloud-darkened night sky. More rain was coming.
He brewed coffee, half listening for the snap of a branch, half looking out the window for the tremble of pink curlers. He ended up on the couch, his limbs cramped and coiled as he stared at the picture of him and Greg in front of a Christmas tree. That photo was one of the few his mother hadn’t torn up when Greg had left them.
He had fond memories of his brother, didn’t he? Why couldn’t he remember?
How did Jess stay so calm in the face of lost memories?
It began to rain again. The wind blew drops against the living room window, like a series of spats in his face. More rain. The vineyards would be too wet to work. After taking a “rain day,” there’d be a team meeting at the winery first thing. He should probably call Rutgar and see how those nurses he’d complained about were treating him. He’d check the internet to see how the roads were looking and give Ryan a heads-up. He continued reviewing his mental to-do list.
Unexpectedly, his otherwise occupied brain dredged up a memory: Greg stealing his Halloween candy. His brother had been wearing a superhero cape and it had snagged on the corner of Duffy’s dresser after he’d fallen asleep, waking him. He’d chased Greg around the house until they’d both collapsed on the couch, exhausted and laughing.
There’d been backseat slug-bug fights. They couldn’t ride anywhere without one. Greg had given a good charley horse. But there’d been plenty of laughter, too.
And those arguments over who’d open their birthday presents first. They’d resulted in odd years being Greg’s turn. Evens, Duffy’s.
Once the gates had opened, the memories kept coming, like planes on a tight landing schedule.
They’d played on the same Little League teams with Dad as their coach. Duffy at shortstop. Greg in center field. Spring afternoons spent warming up with a game of catch, always paired up. But competitive. If Duffy got a hit, Greg tried for a home run.
They’d ridden scooters and skateboards, outgrown cleats and sneakers, mowed lawns and clipped hedges. There was nothing out of the ordinary about the fights they’d had as siblings. Nothing indicative of Greg’s potential to derail them all. Nothing one had done much differently than the other.
They’d been in the same classes together through the sixth grade. Shared the same circle of friends. Liked the same girls.
The same girls.
As if they shared the same DNA and heart, wanting the same thing.
Jess.
He’d kissed her. Was it because Greg had dated her? Had the old competitive streak been reignited?
Jess would spit fire at the idea he’d wanted to kiss her to put Greg in his place.
That kiss had nothing to do with Greg and everything to do with the empty spot in Duffy’s chest, the one he hadn’t realized was empty, the one Jess seemed to fill.
Not that he needed her here or needed to kiss her to fill that void. Not that he needed the void filled at all. He liked his life. He could acknowledge his biases and follow the path he’d taken after Greg’s death without remorse. No attachments. No outside responsibilities. He was free and happy.
Goldie reste
d her chin on Duffy’s hand and stared at him with those I-don’t-care-if-you-lie-to-me eyes.
“Don’t get comfortable. Your owners will most likely turn up in the morning.”
Unconcerned, she closed her eyes.
On a sigh, Duffy did likewise.
He dozed off only to be awoken by a knock. The sun was up and the rain was gone. Goldie ran to the door, wagging her tail. Duffy shuffled after her, yawning and working the kinks out of his neck.
“Good morning.” Eunice held a plate of deviled eggs. “I thought I’d bring breakfast over early today.”
Duffy rubbed a hand over his face and peered at her eggs. “Are those anchovies?”
“Yes. And chopped green olives. I used curry powder instead of paprika.” She beamed at him. “Old family recipe.”
Duffy’s stomach rolled in on itself. “Jess isn’t here.”
“I know.” Eunice’s smile dimmed. “I saw her leave yesterday. She was gone before I could get my shoes on to say goodbye.”
More likely Eunice’s face had been glued to the window during their farewell. The old woman was nosier than a bloodhound on a fresh fox trail. It was too much to hope for that she’d go away.
Duffy opened the door wider. “Don’t you eat normal food for breakfast? Pancakes? Sausage?”
“No.” She headed toward the kitchen. Purplish hair, red jacket, matching slacks and neon green sneakers.
Duffy needed sunglasses. Or at the very least, another cup of coffee. He followed her.
Eunice put the plate down and turned, hand on hip. “You should have kissed her.”
“You should mind your own business.” Duffy poured her some coffee, and then got down the pancake griddle. “I’m not eating your eggs. And you’re not feeding them to the dog, either.”
Slumping her shoulders, Eunice put the egg in her hand back on the plate. “I suppose I can take them around town. Most people enjoy my cooking.”
“People are too kind to tell you they throw it in the trash when you leave.” Duffy took the mixing bowl Jess had used to make cookies out of the cupboard. It was just a bowl. And yet holding it brought a smile to his face.
A Memory Away Page 14
