“We have no way of knowing that until she wakes up, and we run some more tests,” she states writing something down on a chart that she is holding.
The sound of the ventilator fills her quiet room, and I try to hold down the lump in my throat once again.
I swallow it down but the tears flow easily down my cheeks. She looks to be dead, and it’s a terrifying feeling seeing the one you love look so far away. I wanna shake her as I yell wake up. Look at me. Just like I did when she was in the hospital after we found her in that house with Jax. But I know this time won’t be the same. I won’t be able to leave things out like I did then. I’ll have to remind her that we were fighting, that I was being a total ass and wasn’t speaking to her.
I reach down and grab a hold of her cold, pale hand, careful not to touch the IV and bandages that cover the gashes.
I look at the machines and see one that is moving rather quickly. “What does that machine mean?” I ask pointing to it.
“That one is a fetal heart monitor so we can monitor your child.” She smiles. “The baby is doing just fine.”
She smiles as she places a pen in her scrub pocket. “I will be right outside at that desk if you need me.” She goes to walk out but stops. “Talk to her. Let her know that you’re here.” She walks over to the corner of her small room and picks up a bag. “Here are her belongings.” She hands it to me, and I numbly take it then she starts to walk out leaving me alone with my wife. “Her wedding ring is with security but everything else is in there,” she adds.
I open it up to find her iPhone with a bloody and shattered screen. I run my finger over the picture of us in Paris smiling as she holds the lock that I had engraved with our names.
A sob comes out that I don’t even try to swallow down. Even with the cracked screen I can see her beautiful smile and bright green eyes.
I place it back in the bag and pull out a small blurry picture that sits at the bottom.
I look at it frowning for a few seconds before I realize it’s an ultrasound from her appointment today. I smile as I run my fingers over it. “I promise I’m going to do things differently,” I say quietly. “I’m gonna be the best daddy and husband I can be.” I look up from it and stare at my wife once again.
I take in a deep breath. “Angel,” I say softly. “I’m here, baby. I’m so sorry.” I know nothing I can say will ever make this right or ever make her believe me. “I failed you.” My voice wavers, and I clear my throat. “I told you I would always protect you, and I failed.” I stand from my chair, lean down, and kiss her forehead. “I won’t fail ever again, Angel,” I promise with a malice to my voice. “No one will ever hurt you again. I love you, and I’m going to show you just how much.”
*****
I haven’t left her side in over nine hours. I haven’t even gotten up to go to the restroom. Others have been allowed to come and see her but they are very strict on how many they allow in her room at a time. So the last two hours it has just been me and her and the nurse when she comes in to check on things. I’ve told her stories of my childhood. I’ve told her things that she could make for the bakery. I’ve tried coming up with names for our baby. Anything and everything you can think of, I have spoken about it. I’ve cried until my throat is raw, and I’ve begged for forgiveness until I’m blue in the face.
I’m so tired. The adrenaline of everything has worn off, and all I’m left with is a broken heart and regret.
I sigh laying my head down on my knuckles and closing my eyes. They snap open as the nurse enters.
She starts to change some sort of settings on her IV bag. “This is a drip of propofol that I’m decreasing. The doctor has ordered to reduce the sedation and allow her to wake up so we can run some neuro checks in regards to her brain injury. Her CT at the time showed no bleeds but the doctor wants to make sure there’s no swelling now.”
“What does that mean?” I ask trying to understand what the hell she’s saying.
“Swelling could be caused by the amount of fluids she has been given during and since surgery,” she explains, which doesn’t tell me much. “When the doctor comes in to do his neuro checks he will want to speak to you. Explain everything.” She pauses for a few seconds. “I know her name is Samantha but does she like to go by anything else?”
I look up at her with confusion.
She smiles softly. “We like the patients to feel as comfortable as possible. They are more likely to respond,” she adds.
I nod. “She likes to go by Sam,” I say looking back down to her as I take her hand in mine.
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
SAMANTHA
I feel the pain in my body before I can even open my eyes. It’s a burning sensation throughout, and I feel as if I’m being pulled from all angles. I can’t move much, everything feels real tight.
I feel like my throat is on fire. The entire left side of my body feels like needles are poking into my skin. I try taking in a deep breath, but there’s only a small amount there. A sharp pain in my chest, and a lot of pressure. I feel like someone is sitting in top of me and my heart pounding as it takes my breath away. My heart rate picks up and I start to panic, I hear a frantic beeping noise.
“Sam,” I hear a woman’s voice say. “It’s okay. That is a tube in your mouth that is trying to help you breathe.”
I can’t breathe? I try to move my head but I can’t.
“And there’s a collar on your neck to keep your head steady. You’ve been in an accident, but you’re going to be okay.”
An accident? The baby. I try to move my arms to rest on my belly but they won’t move.
“Your baby is okay,” she adds like she’s watching my movements. “Can you understand me?”
I try to open my eyes. They open just enough for me to see a set of yellow scrubs and then they close, too heavy to hold open. I try to nod but it’s hard due to the collar she mentioned.
“My name is Vicki, and I’m your nurse. Slade, your husband, is here as well. He is holding your left hand.” She pauses. “Slade please squeeze her hand,” she softly requests.
I feel him squeeze it, and I relax a little.
“Okay, can you open your eyes?” she asks.
The room falls quiet. The only sound is the beeping from the machines—now at a steady rhythm. It starts to lull me back to sleep.
“Sam? I need you to open your eyes for me,” she speaks again.
I open them slowly and then close them. The bright light assaults them. I try again knowing she wants me to open them.
It’s hard to make out what things are. I can see colors and shapes but things are blurry.
“Very good,” she assures me. “I’m going to shine a light in your eyes.”
I blink rapidly as the new and brighter light hurts my eyes but not before I see the tube in my mouth. I try to lift my hands to remove it but they don’t make it very far before they are stopped. I can feel something wrapped around each wrist. I feel Slade squeeze my left hand a little harder as he pushes it back down to rest by my side.
The nurse grabs my right hand and places it back down as well. “No,” she says gently, “that tube is helping you breathe. It’s okay, and we’ll take it out soon.” Then she lowers her voice and speaks to Slade. “Slade, I need that hand for a second. Sam can you squeeze my hands?” I squeeze it. “Both of them?” and I realize she is still holding onto my other one.
I squeeze that one as well. “Can you make a fist? Try to hurt me.” I do but it causes pain in my left arm.
“Good girl,” she says. “Slade here’s her hand back, keep holding it.” I feel a draft of cold air down on my feet and legs. “Sam, can you feel me touching your feet? Squeeze Slade’s hand if you do.”
I squeeze his hand gently but enough to let him know that I do.
“She is,” Slade speaks for the first time. It make me close my eyes tighter. His voice sounds so hoarse.
“Good girl. Can you wiggle your toes?” I do it but they feel like they are
moving really slow. “Good girl.” Then I feel them being wrapped up in warmth once again.
“Slade, she is moving everything, and seems to be able to feel everything, plus she’s following commands. We’ll be able to get that tube out very quickly. I’ll let the doctor know so that we can get work on that. Then he’ll be in after the tube is out to do a full neuro exam.”
I open my heavy eyes and try to look around but I close them once again. It’s just too bright in this room.
“Sam, are you hurting?” I hear her ask.
I try to nod my head but can’t do the collar, so I squeeze Slade’s hand.
“Does that mean yes?” he asks sounding worried.
I squeeze it again.
“She must be, she’s squeezing my hand,” he responds quickly.
“I’ll get you some additional pain medicine.”
Then I feel her hand on my right arm she speaks softly to Slade. “I’m going to go ahead and remove the restraints but I need you to keep her hands in yours. Okay?”
He clears his throat. “I can do that.”
“Sam, I’m gonna free your hands but I need you to not touch the tube down your throat. Can you do that for me?”
I squeeze Slade’s hand, and I open my eyes a little once again. I see Slade run his hand down over his tired looking face before I close them.
“Can you turn the lights off?” he asks softly.
“Absolutely. I’ll be right back.” And then there’s nothing but the sounds of the machines once again and the sound of others off in the background.
I open my eyes and am thankful for the softer light that comes from the wall behind me.
Slade looks down at me, and it breaks my heart to see the tears in his eyes. I go to tell him I’m sorry for the fight, for the accident, but realize I can’t. I start to lift my hand to the tube, and he grabs a hold of it. “No, baby.”
I blink a few times as tears well up in my eyes.
“It’s okay. They are going to remove it soon.” He licks his lips and sighs.
The tears spill over my eyes and down my cheeks.
He stands up and leans over me. Very slowly he leans down and kisses me on the forehead. “I’m so sorry, Angel,” he says softly as he sits back down.
I try shaking my head as tears run down the sides of my cheeks. It’s all my fault. I’m the one who should be sorry. I don’t remember what happened regarding the accident, but I know we were fighting. I know I had messed up, and he was mad at me.
He places his forehead on his hand that’s holding mine. “I should have never got mad at you.” He sighs. “I should have never missed the appointment for our baby.” He lifts his head to look at me and tears run down his face. “But I promise you, things will be different. I’m here, and I won’t ever turn my back on you again,” he vows before kissing my hand. “Please tell me you’re going to give me that chance?”
And I do the only thing I can do. I squeeze his hand.
*****
SLADE
The next three days are just as exhausting for Angel. They removed the tube down her throat and her chest tube but due to the pain medication she stays pretty much out of it. Our friends and family come in to see her. She opens her eyes and speaks some but I don’t really think she knows what all she’s saying.
By the fourth day I stand and stretch, trying to loosen the crick in my neck and back. They really should make these chairs more comfortable for the loved ones. At least she has been moved out of ICU and into a step-down unit.
I make my way into the restroom. I just finish washing my hands when I hear her voice frantically say my name.
I shove the bathroom door open and run out to find her sitting up and blinking. She’s looking around as if she doesn’t know here she’s at.
Parker is no longer sleeping on the other chair. He’s standing looking around unfocused with his blanket on the floor down by his feet.
I make my way to the side of her bed and softly grab her hand in mine. “You’re okay,” I say softly.
She sniffs as tears slowly run down her face. “I thought….I thought.” She takes in a deep breath and looks me in the eyes. “I went and saw Jax. He said…”
“I know,” I say interrupting her. She tried to tell me a hundred things at once as soon as they removed the tube down her throat. But her voice wasn’t a hundred percent there at the time.
She shakes her head. “He said someone is after you. You have to believe me,” she cries.
“I do,” I say for her benefit. “I…”
The door to her room opens and in walks Tate with coffees for us and a bottle of water for himself. “Hey, sis,” he says softly as his eyes land on hers. “You’re awake.” He smiles.
She places her face in her hands and bursts into tears. “Can you guys give us a minute?” I ask looking at Tate and then to Parker.
“No,” Angel says as she looks up to us. “Parker believes me.” She looks to him. “Please tell him. Tell him what I told you.”
He looks to me with a straight face and sighs. “I do believe someone wants to hurt you. And they have,” he says matter-of-fact.
“What happened?” Angel asks as her eyes start to look me up and down.
“Nothing. I’m fine,” I say trying to ease her concern. Then I look at Parker with narrowed eyes. He needs to quit upsetting her.
He arches an eyebrow as if in question. “If someone really wanted to hurt you, what would they need to do?” His eyes look away from mine and land on her. “There’s only one thing you couldn’t live without. Maybe they want to take that from you and let you destroy your own life,” he finishes.
“Well, you did already have one meltdown in this hospital and then punched Parker. You’re lucky they didn’t have you arrested,” Tate adds.
“What?” Angel frowns. “Why would you do that?”
“I was just mad, and he was the closest to me. I would have punched anyone at the time,” I shrug.
She gets my attention as she grabs my hand. “This is more than my accident. Jax knew things.”
“What kind of things?” I ask. She now has me concerned.
“He said someone was always watching and listening.” She looks up to Tate. “He knew about the house getting broke into. The truck…”
I pull back stunned. “How would he know all of that?” I ask aloud.
“He’s only been back since what? You talked to him on New Year’s Eve. He had been in jail up until then…” Tate trails off when he realizes what he’s saying. He looks to his sister wide-eyed before he tries to correct himself. “I mean…uh…”
I wave off his concern. She and I have already had this fight. She knows what I kept from her.
I reach up and push some hair back off of her face. Her eyes aren’t as swollen as they were, but cuts still show on her face and the bruises from the airbag are still there.
“So, you think Sam’s accident had to do with the events from last year?” Tate asks Parker.
“It’s the only thing that makes sense,” he says simply.
“It’s far from making sense,” Angels sighs as she lays against her pillow as Missy walks in with a big stuffed teddy bear under her arm.
She smiles and walks over to her bed. “I brought you a little gift.”
“That’s not little. That’s bigger than you,” Tate says trying to get some reaction out of her but she ignores him.
I lean over and give her a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll be right outside the door talking to the guys.”
“What was the verdict on the accident?” I ask Parker as soon as we make our way into the hallway.
“An accident that resulted in a fatality. They didn’t feel it needed to be investigated.”
Since all the events had happened last year, I kept telling her that they were all related. They had to have been.
I start to pace in the hallway trying to figure out how to connect the dots. Then a thought hits me, and I look to Parker.
“Y
ou have the one thing that could tell me everything I need to know,” I say pointing at him.
He frowns in confusion. Then he looks at me wide-eyed. He starts shaking his head quickly as he takes a step back. “No. Trust me. You don’t want to see it.”
“I need to see it. It’s the only way,” I say gritting my teeth. Does he really think I want to watch my wife get in a car wreck right before my eyes? It’s something that I will forever wonder. I have to know if this was an accident or on purpose.
Tate frowns as he looks back and forth between the two of us.
“Have you lost your mind?” Parker finally asks after a few long seconds.
“No. I almost lost my wife. Twice! My mind is pretty fucking clear,” I say simply.
Parker sighs. “You know I have no control over that tape.”
“Why not?” I snap losing my temper. “You were an officer involved. It’s your fucking tape! My wife was involved. I have every right to see the fucking tape,” I shout. “And if I don’t, then call the fucking DA. Call someone and make it happen,” I say trying to lower my voice not wanting Angel to hear me.
I’m a defense attorney. I don’t have many friends that are cops or higher up in ranking. They tend to frown upon the ones who keep the criminals out of jail.
We stand in the hallway as if in stand-off when Parker finally speaks. “It’s illegal for me to show you the tape,” he argues.
“I don’t give a fuck!” I grind out. “Make it happen,” I snap.
He stares me down for a few seconds as if that’s gonna make me change my mind about seeing it. “I’ll make the phone call,” he finally says as his shoulders slump.
*****
Once Parker gets off of the phone and I tell Angel that I am going to go home and grab a few things for her and myself, we all head up to the police station. I knew he could see the tape. His car has a camera that records all the time, he just has to sign off on it is all. They keep track of who views what. Technically I’m not supposed to see it and Angel’s accident isn’t an open case. But this is how you make things happen. You have friends who will bend the rules and tell white lies to do what is needed.
The UN Series Complete Box Set Page 122
