‘The door had not been opened—’
‘My window is not high above the ground,’ he answered, with an uncertain laugh.
They walked side by side over the heather, towards the beginning of a wood, young fir trees mingling with gorse and bracken. Beyond was the dense foliage of older growths. He had again taken one of her hands, and so led her on.
‘Emily!’
She was able to look into his face for a moment, but the moving of her lips gave no sound.
‘I could not sleep,’ he went on, ‘so I read of you till dawn in the Knightes Tale. It is a name I have always loved, sweet, musical, but of deep meaning. Will you not let me hear you speak, Emily?’
She uttered a few timid words, then they passed on in silence till the wood was all about them.
‘May I tell you the plan which I have made in the night?’ he said, as they stood on a spot of smooth turf, netted with sunlight. ‘You leave us in two days. Before we start for London, I shall speak with my father, and tell him what has come about. You remember what I was saying about him the day before yesterday; perhaps it was with a half-thought of this—so daring I was, you see! I have no fear of his kindness, his good sense. At the same time, it is right you should know that my independence is assured; my grandfather left me far more than enough for mere needs. By the summer of next year I shall be free of Oxford. I care little now for such honours as those; you have honoured me more than any other voice has power to do. But my father would be disappointed if I did not go on to the end, and do something of what is expected. Now you must tell me freely is there absolute necessity for your maintaining yourself in the meanwhile, for your leaving home?’
‘There is,’ she replied.
‘Then will you continue to teach the children as usual?’
She was touched with apprehension.
‘Gladly I would do so—but is it possible? Would you conceal from Mrs. Rossall—’
Wilfrid mused.
‘I meant to. But your instincts are truer than mine; say what you think. I believe my father would countenance it, for it involves no real deceit.’
‘If you wish it,’ Emily said, after a silence, in a low voice.
‘Of my aunt,’ pursued Wilfrid, ‘I have just this degree of doubt. She might make difficulties; her ways of thinking differ often from ours. Yet it is far better that you should continue to live with us. I myself shall scarcely ever be at home; it will not be as if I dwelt under the roof; I will make my visits as short as possible, not to trouble you. I could not let you go to the house of other people—you to lack consideration, perhaps to meet unkindness! Rather than that, you shall stay in your own home, or I will not return to Oxford at all.’
Emily stood in anxious thought. He drew a step nearer to her; seemed about to draw nearer still, but checked himself as she looked up.
‘I fear we must not do that,’ she said. ‘Mrs. Rossall would not forgive me.’
Woman’s judgment of woman, and worth much more than Wilfrid’s rough and ready scheming.
Wilfrid smiled.
‘Then she also shall know,’ he exclaimed. ‘She shall take nay view of this; I will not be gainsaid. What is there in the plan that common sense can object to? Your position is not that of a servant; you are from the first our friend you honour us by the aid you give, efficient as few could make it. Yes, there shall be no concealment far better so.’
‘You have no fear of the views they will take?’
‘None!’ he said, with characteristic decision. ‘If they are unreasonable, absurd, our course is plain enough. You will be my wife when I ask you to, Emily?’
She faltered, and held her hand to him.
‘Is it worth while to go hack to Oxford?’ he mused, caressing the fingers he had kissed.
‘Oh, yes; you must,’ Emily urged, with a sort of fear in her sudden courage. ‘You must not disappoint them, your father, your friends.’
‘My fair wise one!’ he murmured, gazing rapturously at her. ‘Oh, Emily, think what our life will be! Shall we not drain the world of its wisdom, youth of its delight! Hand in hand, one heart, one brain—what shall escape us? It was you I needed to give completeness to my thought and desire.’
The old dream, the eternal fancy. This one, this and no other, chosen from out the myriads of human souls. Individuality the servant of passion; mysteries read undoubtingly with the eye of longing. Bead perhaps so truly; who knows?
She came nearer, imperceptibly, her raised face aglow like the morning.
‘Wilfrid—you believe—you know that I love you?’
The last word breathed out in the touching of lips with lips. What could he reply, save those old, simple words of tenderness, that small vocabulary of love, common to child and man? The goddess that made herself woman for his sake—see, did he not hold her clasped to him! But she was mute again. The birds sang so loudly round about them, uttered their hearts so easily, but Emily could only speak through silence. And afterwards she knew there was so much she should have said. What matter? One cannot find tongue upon the threshold of the holy of holies.
CHAPTER IV
A CONFLICT OF OPINIONS
Beatrice Redwing’s visit only extended over the second day, and during that there was little, if any, separate conversation between her and Wilfrid. The change in her from the free gaiety and restfulness of the morning of her arrival could not escape notice, though she affected a continuance of the bright mood. Mr. Athel and his sister both observed her real preoccupation, as if of trouble, and mentally attributed it to something that had passed during the afternoon’s ride. Mrs. Rossall did not look for confidences. Beatrice would gossip freely enough of trivial experiences, or of the details of faith and ritual, but the innermost veil of her heart was never raised; all her friends felt that, though they could not easily have explained in what way they became conscious of this reserve, she seemed so thoroughly open, not to say so shallow. She left The Firs to return to town, and thence in a week or two went to Cowes, a favourite abode of her mother’s.
The next day, Emily also left, journeying to London on her way to the north, Wilfrid and she had no second meeting; their parting was formal, in the family circle. Mr. Athel displayed even more than his usual urbanity; Mrs. Rossall was genuinely gracious; the twins made many promises to write from Switzerland. Emily was self-possessed, but Wilfrid read in her face that she was going through an ordeal. He felt the folly of his first proposal, that she should play a part before Mrs. Rossall through the winter months. He decided, moreover, that no time should be lost in making the necessary disclosure to his father. Naturally it would be an anxious time with Emily till she had news from him. She had asked him to direct letters to the Dunfield post office, not to her home; it was better so for the present.
Wilfrid, though anything but weakly nervous, was impatient of suspense, and, in face of a situation like the present, suffered from the excitability of an imaginative temperament. He had by no means yet outgrown the mood which, when he was a boy, made the anticipation of any delight a physical illness. In an essentially feeble nature this extreme sensibility is fatal to sane achievement; in Wilfrid it merely enforced the vigour of his will. As a child he used to exclaim that he could not wait; at present he was apt to say that he would not. He did not, in very truth, anticipate difficulties with his father, his conviction of the latter’s reasonableness being strongly supported by immense confidence in his own powers of putting a case incontrovertibly. As he had said to Emily, he could scarcely allow that deep affection for his father dwelt within him, nor did the nature of the case permit him to feel exactly reverent; these stronger emotions were reserved for the memory of the parent who was long dead. He thought of his father with warm friendliness, that temper which is consistent with clear perception of faults and foibles, which makes of them, indeed, an occasion for the added kindliness of indulgence, and which, on the other hand, leaves perfect freedom in judgment and action. We know that it is for the most part a misfortu
ne to be the son of a really great man, and for the reason that nature, so indifferent to the individual, makes the well-being of each generation mainly consist in early predominance over the generation which gave it birth. Wilfrid suffered no such exceptional hardship. At three-and-twenty he felt himself essentially his father’s superior. He would not have exposed the fact thus crudely, for he was susceptible to the comely order of things. The fact was a fact, and nature, not he, was responsible for it. That, and the circumstance of his material independence, would necessarily keep the ensuing interview well within the limits of urbane comedy. The young man smiled already at the suggested comparison with his father’s own choice in matrimony. Wilfrid had never had the details of that story avowedly represented to him, but it was inevitable that he should have learnt enough to enable him to reconstruct them with tolerable accuracy.
Emily was gone long before the hour of luncheon. After that meal, Mr. Athel lit a cigar and went to a favourite seat in the garden. Mrs. Rossall was going with the twins to make a farewell call on neighbouring friends. As soon as the carriage had left the house, Wilfrid sought his father, who was amusing himself with a review.
‘I thought you would have gone with your aunt,’ Mr. Athel remarked, after a glance to see who was approaching him.
‘I had an object in remaining behind,’ Wilfrid returned, composedly, seating himself on a camp-stool which he had brought out. ‘I wished to talk over with you a matter of some importance.’
‘Oh?’
Mr. Athel stroked his chin, and smiled a little. It occurred to him at once that something relative to Beatrice was about to be disclosed.
‘What is it?’ he added, throwing one leg over the other, and letting the review lie open on his lap.
‘It concerns Miss Hood,’ pursued the other, assuming the same attitude, save that he had nothing to lean hack against. ‘A day or two ago I asked her to engage herself to me, and she consented.’
Perhaps this was the simplest way of putting it. Wilfrid could not utter the words with complete calmness; his hands had begun to tremble a little, and his temples were hot. By an effort he kept his eyes steadily fixed on his father’s face, and what he saw there did not supply encouragement to proceed in the genial tone with which he had begun. Mr. Athel frowned, not angrily, but as if not quite able to grasp what had been told him. He had cast his eyes down.
There was silence for a moment.
‘I have chosen the earliest moment for telling you of this,’ Wilfrid continued, rather hurriedly. ‘It was of course better to leave it till Miss Hood had gone.’
On the father’s face displeasure had succeeded to mere astonishment.
‘You could have told me few things that I should be so sorry to hear,’ were his first words, delivered in an undertone and with grave precision.
‘Surely that does not express your better thought,’ said Wilfrid, to whom a hint of opposition at once gave the firmness he had lacked.
‘It expresses my very natural thought. In the first place, it is not pleasant to know that clandestine proceedings of this kind have been going on under my roof. I have no wish to say anything disrespectful of Miss Hood, but I am disposed to think that she has mistaken her vocation; such talents for dissimulation would surely have pointed to—’
Mr. Athel had two ways of expressing displeasure. Where ceremony was wholly unnecessary, he gave vent to his feelings in an outburst of hearty English wrath, not coarsely, for his instincts were invariably those of a gentleman, but in the cultivated autocratic tone; an offending. groom, for instance, did not care to incur reproof a second time. Where this mode of utterance was out of place, he was apt to have recourse to a somewhat too elaborate irony, to involve himself in phrases which ultimately led to awkward hesitations, with the effect that he grew more heated by embarrassment. Had he been allowed to proceed, he would at present have illustrated this failing, for he had begun with extreme deliberation, smoothing the open pages with his right hand, rounding his words, reddening a little in the face. But Wilfrid interposed.
‘I must not let you speak or think of Miss Hood so mistakenly,’ he said firmly, but without unbecoming self-assertion. ‘She could not possibly have behaved with more reserve to me than she did until, three days ago, I myself gave a new colour to our relations. The outward propriety which you admit has been perfectly genuine; if there is any blame in the matter—and how can there be any?—it rests solely upon me. I dare say you remember my going out to fetch the “Spectator,” after Miss Redwing had been singing to us. By chance I met Miss Hood in the garden. I was led to say something to her which made a longer interview inevitable; she consented to meet me on the common before breakfast, the following morning. These are the only two occasions which can be called clandestine. If she has disguised herself since then, how could she have behaved otherwise? Disguise is too strong a word; she has merely kept silence. I need not inquire whether you fully believe what I say.’
‘What you say, I believe, as a matter of course,’ replied Mr. Athel, who had drummed with his fingers as he listened impatiently. ‘It can scarcely alter my view of the position of things. Had you come to me before offering yourself to this young lady, and done me the honour of asking my advice, I should in all probability have had a rather strong opinion to express; as it is, I don’t see that there is anything left to be said.’
‘What would your opinion have been?’ Wilfrid asked.
‘Simply that for an idle fancy, the unfortunate result of unoccupied days, you were about to take a step which would assuredly lead to regret at least, very probably to more active repentance. In fact, I should have warned you not to spoil your life in its commencement.’
‘I think, father, that you would have spoken with too little knowledge of the case. You can scarcely know Miss Hood as I do. I have studied her since we came here, and with—well, with these results.’
Mr. Athel looked up with grave sadness.
‘Wilf, this is a deeply unfortunate thing, my boy. I grieve over it more than I can tell you. I am terribly disappointed. Your position and your hopes pointed to very different things. You have surprised me, too; I thought your mind was already made up, in quite a different quarter.’
‘You refer to Miss Redwing?’
‘Naturally.’
‘You have, indeed, been mistaken. It was impossible that I should think of her as a wife. I must have sympathy, intellectual and moral. With her I have none. We cannot talk without flagrant differences—differences of a serious, a radical nature. Be assured that such a thought as this never occurred to Miss Redwing herself; her very last conversation with me forbids any such idea.’
Mr. Athel still drummed on the book, seemingly paying little heed to the speaker.
‘You find sympathy in Miss Hood?’ he asked suddenly, with a touch of sarcasm.
‘The deepest. Her intellectual tendencies are the same as my own; she has a mind which it refreshes and delights me to discover. Of course that is not all, but it is all I need speak of. I know that I have chosen well and rightly.’
‘I won’t be so old-fashioned,’ remarked Mr. Athel, still with subdued sarcasm, ‘as to hint that some thought of me might have entered into your choosing’ (did he consciously repeat his own father’s words of five-and-twenty years back, or was it but destiny making him play his part in the human comedy?) ‘and, in point of fact’ (perhaps the parallel touched him at this point), ‘you are old enough to judge the affair on its own merits. My wonder is that your judgment has not been sounder. Has it occurred to you that a young lady in Miss Hood’s position would find it at all events somewhat difficult to be unbiassed in her assent to what you proposed?’
‘Nothing has occurred to me,’ replied Wilfrid, more shortly than hitherto, ‘which could cast a shadow of suspicion on her perfect truth. I beg that you will not suggest these things. Some day you will judge her with better knowledge.’
‘I am not sure of that,’ was the rejoinder, almost irritably uttered.
‘What do you mean by that, father?’ Wilfrid asked in a lower tone.
‘I mean, Wilf, that I am not yet in the frame of mind to regard the children’s governess as my daughter-in-law. Miss Hood may be all you say; I would not willingly be anything but scrupulously just. The fact remains that this is not the alliance which it became you to make. It is, in a very pronounced sense, marrying beneath you. It is not easy for me to reconcile myself to that.’
It was Wilfrid’s turn to keep silence. What became of his plans? They were hardly in a way to be carried out as he had conceived them. A graver uneasiness was possessing him. Resolve would only grow by opposition, but there was more of pain in announcing an independent course than he had foreseen.
‘What are your practical proposals?’ his father inquired, his mollified tone the result of observing that he had made a certain impression, for he was distinctly one of the men who are to be overcome by yielding.
‘I had a proposal to make, but of such a kind that it is hardly worth while to speak of it. I shall have to reflect.’
‘Let me hear what you were going to say. There’s no harm in that, at all events.’
‘My idea was, that, with your consent and my aunt’s, Miss Hood should return just as if nothing had happened, and continue to teach the twins till next summer, when I should have done with Oxford. There appears to me to be nothing irrational or unseemly in such a plan. If she were our cook or housemaid, there might be reasonable objections. As it is, it would hardly involve a change even in your tone to her, seeing that you are in the habit of treating her as a lady, and with a certain degree of familiar kindness. I confess I had anticipated no difficulties. We are not a household of bigoted Conservatives; it is hard for me to imagine you taking any line but that of an enlightened man who judges all things from the standpoint of liberal reflection. I suppose my own scorn of prejudices is largely due to your influence. It is not easy to realise our being in conflict on any matter involving calm reasonableness.’
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