A Life's Morning

by George Gissing

  ‘Oh, we will see it together some day.’

  ‘There’s one thing,’ said Mr. Hood, reflectively, ‘that I wish especially to see, and that is Holborn Viaduct. It must be a wonderful piece of engineering; I remember thinking it out at the time it was constructed. Of course you have seen it?’

  ‘I am afraid not. We are very far away from the City. But I will go and see it on the first opportunity.’

  ‘Do, and send me a full description.’

  His thoughts reverted to the views before them.

  ‘After all, this isn’t so bad. There’s a great advantage in living so near the Heath. I’m sure the air here is admirable; don’t you smell how fresh it is? And then, one gets fond of the place one’s lived in for years. I believe I should find it hard to leave Dunfield.’

  Emily smiled gently.

  ‘I wonder,’ he pursued, ‘whether you have the kind of feeling that came to me just then? It struck me that, suppose anything happened that would enable us to go and live in another place, there would be a sort of ingratitude, something like a shabby action, in turning one’s back on the old spot. I don’t like to feel unkind even to a town.’

  The girl glanced at him with meaning eyes. Here was an instance of the sympathetic relations of which she had spoken to Wilfrid; in these words was disclosed the origin of the deepest sensibilities of her own nature.

  They pursued their walk, across the common and into a tree-shaded lane. Emily tried to believe that this at length was really the country; there were no houses in view, meadows lay on either hand, the leafage was thick. But it was not mere prejudice which saw in every object a struggle with hard conditions, a degeneration into coarseness, a blight. The quality of the earth was probably poor to begin with; the herbage seemed of gross fibre; one would not risk dipping a finger in the stream which trickled by the roadside, it suggested an impure source. And behold, what creatures are these coming along the lane, where only earth-stained rustics should be met? Two colliers, besmutted wretches, plodding homeward from the ‘pit’ which is half a mile away. Yes, their presence was in keeping with the essential character of the scene.

  ‘One might have had a harder life,’ mused Mr. Hood aloud, when the pitmen were gone by.

  ‘I think there’s a fallacy in that,’ replied Emily. ‘Their life is probably not hard at all. I used to feel that pity, but I have reasoned myself out of it. They are really happy, for they know nothing of their own degradation.’

  ‘By the bye,’ said her father presently, ‘how is young Mr. Athel, the young fellow who had to come home from college?’

  ‘He is quite well again, I think,’ was Emily’s reply.

  ‘I suppose, poor fellow, he has a very weak constitution?’

  ‘Oh no, I think not.’

  ‘What is he studying for? Going into the Church?’

  Emily laughed; it was a relief to do so.

  ‘Isn’t it strange,’ she said, ‘how we construct an idea of an unknown person from some circumstance or piece of description? I see exactly what your picture of Mr. Athel is: a feeble and amiable young man, most likely with the shocking voice with which curates sometimes read the lessons—’

  She broke off and laughed again.

  ‘Well,’ said her father, ‘I admit I thought of him a little in that way—I scarcely know why.’

  ‘You could hardly have been further from the truth. Try to imagine the intellectual opposite of such a young man, and you—That will be far more like Mr. Athel.’

  ‘He isn’t conceited? My want of experience has an unfortunate tendency to make me think of young fellows in his position as unbearably vain. It must be so hard to avoid it.’

  ‘Perhaps it is, if they have the common misfortune to be born without brains.’

  Other subjects engaged their attention.

  ‘When do you take your holiday, father?’ Emily asked.

  ‘I think about the middle of this month. It won’t be more than a week or ten days.’

  ‘Don’t you think you ought to go to Cleethorpes, if only for a day or two?’

  To suggest any other place of summer retreat would have been too alarming. Mr. Hood’s defect of imagination was illustrated in this matter; he had been somehow led, years ago, to pay a visit to Cleethorpes, and since then that one place represented for him the seaside. Others might be just as accessible and considerably more delightful, but it did not even occur to him to vary. It would have cost him discomfort to do so, the apprehension of entering upon the unknown. The present was the third summer which had passed without his quitting home. Anxiety troubled his countenance as Emily made the proposal.

  ‘Not this year, I think,’ he said, as if desirous of passing the subject by.

  ‘Father, what possible objection can there be to my bearing the expense of a week at Cleethorpes? You know how well I can afford it; indeed I should like to go; it is rather unkind of you to refuse.’

  This was an old subject of discussion. Since Emily had lived away from home, not only her father, but her mother just as strenuously, had refused to take from her any of the money that she earned. It had been her habit at first indirectly to overcome this resistance by means of substantial presents in holiday time; but she found such serious discomfort occasioned by the practice that most reluctantly she had abandoned it. For the understanding of the Hoods’ attitude in this matter, it must be realised how deeply their view of life was coloured by years of incessant preoccupation with pecuniary difficulties. The hideous conception of existence which regards each individual as fighting for his own hand, striving for dear life against every other individual, was ingrained in their minds by the inveterate bitterness of their own experience; when Emily had become a woman, and was gone forth to wrest from the adverse world her own subsistence, her right to what she earned was indefeasible, and affection itself protested against her being mulcted for their advantage. As for the slight additional expense of her presence at home during the holidays, she must not be above paying a visit to her parents; the little inconsistency was amiable enough. Father and mother both held forth to her in the same tone: ‘You have the battle of life before you; it is a terrible one, and the world is relentless. Not only is it your right, but your very duty, to spare every penny you can; for, if anything happened to prevent your earning money, you would become a burden upon us—a burden we would gladly strive to bear, but the thought of which would be very hard for yourself. If, on the other hand, your mother were left a widow, think how dreadful it would be if you could give her no assistance. You are wrong in spending one farthing more than your absolute needs require; to say you do it in kindness to us is a mere mistake of yours.’ The logic was not to be encountered; it was as irresistible as the social conditions which gave it birth. Emily had abandoned discussion on these points; such reasoning cost her sickness of heart. In practice she obeyed her parents’ injunctions, for she herself was hitherto only too well aware of the fate which might come upon her in consequence of the most trifling mishap; she knew that no soul in the world save her parents would think it a duty to help her, save in the way of bare charity. Naturally her old point of view was now changed; it was this that led her to revive the discussion with her father, and to speak in a tone which Mr. Hood heard with some surprise.

  ‘Next year, perhaps, Emily,’ he said. ‘After Surrey, I don’t think you can really need another change. I am delighted to see how well you look. I, too, am remarkably well, and I can’t help thinking your mother gets stronger. How do you find her looking?’

  ‘Better than usual, I really think. All the same, it is clearly impossible for you and her to live on year after year without any kind of change.’

  ‘Oh, my dear, we don’t feel it. It’s so different with older people; a change rather upsets us than otherwise. You know how nervous your mother gets when she is away from home.’

  Their walk brought them round again to the top of the Heath. Mr. Hood looked at his watch, and found that it was time to be moving h
omewards. Tea was punctually at five. Mrs. Hood would take it ill if they were late, especially on Saturday.

  As they walked across the smooth part of the upper common, looking at the houses around, they saw coming towards them a gentleman followed by three dogs. He was dressed in a light tweed suit, and brandished a walking-stick, as if animal spirits possessed him strongly.

  ‘Why, here comes Mr. Dagworthy,’ remarked Mr. Hood, in a low tone, though the other was still at a considerable distance. ‘He generally goes off somewhere on Saturday afternoon. What a man he is for dogs! I believe he keeps twenty or thirty at the house there.’

  Emily evinced just a little self-consciousness. It was possible that Mr. Dagworthy would stop to speak, for she had become, in a measure, acquainted with him in the preceding spring. She was at home then for a few weeks before her departure for London, and the Baxendales, who had always shown her much kindness, invited her to an evening party, at which Dagworthy was present. He had chatted with her on that occasion.

  Yes, he was going to speak. He was a man of five-and-thirty, robust, rather florid, with eyes which it was not disagreeable to meet, though they gazed with embarrassing persistency, and a mouth which he would have done well to leave under the natural shelter of a moustache; it was at once hard and sensual. The clean-shaving of his face gave his appearance a youthfulness to which his tone of speech did not correspond.

  ‘How do you do, Miss Hood? Come once more into our part of the world, then? You have been in London, I hear.’

  It was the tone of a man long accustomed to have his own way in life, and not overmuch troubled with delicacies of feeling. His address could not be called disrespectful, but the smile which accompanied it expressed a sort of good-natured patronage, perhaps inevitable in such a man when speaking to his clerk’s daughter. The presence of the clerk himself very little concerned him. He kept his eyes steadily on the girl’s face, examining her with complete frankness. His utterance was that of an educated man, but it had something of the Yorkshire accent, a broadness which would have distressed the ear in a drawing-room.

  Emily replied that she had been in London; it did not seem necessary to enter into details.

  ‘Pleasant afternoon, isn’t it? Makes one want to get away to the moors. I suppose you will be off somewhere soon with your family, Mr. Hood?’

  He would not have employed the formal prefix to his clerk’s name but for Emily’s presence; the father knew that, and felt grateful.

  ‘Not this year, I think, sir,’ he replied, with perfect cheerfulness.

  Of the three dogs that accompanied Dagworthy, one was a handsome collie. This animal came snuffing at Emily’s hand, and involuntarily, glad perhaps to have a pretence for averting her face, she caressed the silky ears.

  ‘Fine head, isn’t it, Miss Hood?’ said Dagworthy at once, causing her to remove her hand quickly. ‘Ay, but I’ve a finer collie than that. Just walk in with me, will you?’ he added, after a scarcely perceptible pause. ‘I always like to show off my dogs. You’re in no hurry, I suppose? Just come and have a look at the kennels.’

  Emily was deeply annoyed, both because such a visit was in itself distasteful to her, and on account of the irritation which she knew the delay would cause her mother. She did not for a moment expect her father to refuse; his position would not allow him to do so. Mr. Hood, in fact, murmured thanks, after a mere half glance at his daughter, and the three walked together to Dagworthy’s house, the entrance to which was not fifty yards from where they were standing.

  The dwelling was neither large nor handsome, but it stood in a fine garden and had an air of solid well-being. As soon as they had passed the gates, they were met by a middle-aged woman carrying a child of two years old, an infant of wonderfully hearty appearance. At the sight of its father it chuckled and crowed. Dagworthy took it from the woman’s arms, and began a game which looked not a little dangerous; with surprising strength and skill, he tossed it up some feet into the air, caught it as it descended, tossed it up again. The child shrieked with delight, for all that the swift descent positively stopped its breath, and made a hiatus in the screaming.

  ‘Theer, that’s abaht enough, Mr. Richard,’ said the woman, in broad dialect, when the child had gone up half a dozen times; she was nervous, and kept holding out her arms involuntarily. ‘Ah doan’t ovver much fancy that kind o’ laakin. What’s more, he’s allus reight dahn fratchy after a turn o’ that. See nah, he’ll nivver want you to stop. Do a’ done nah, Mr. Richard.’

  ‘Here you are then; take him in, and tell them I want some tea; say I have friends with me.’

  The child was carried away, roaring obstreperously, and Dagworthy, laughing at the vocal power displayed, led the way round to the back of the house. Here had been constructed elaborate kennels; several dogs were pacing in freedom about the clean yard, and many more were chained up. Much information was imparted to the visitors concerning the more notable animals; some had taken prizes at shows, others were warranted to do so, one or two had been purchased at fancy prices. Mr. Hood now and then put a question, as in duty bound to do; Emily restricted her speech to the absolutely necessary replies.

  Dagworthy conducted them into the house. It appeared to be furnished in a solid, old-fashioned way, and the ornaments, though few, were such as might better have been dispensed with. Old Dagworthy had come to live here some five-and-twenty years previously, having before that occupied a small house in conjunction with his mill. He had been one of the ‘worthies’ of Dunfield, and in his time did a good deal of useful work for the town. Personally, he was anything but amiable, being devoid of education and refinement, and priding himself on his spirit of independence, which exhibited itself in mere boorishness. Though anything but miserly, he had, where his interests were concerned, an extraordinary cunning and pertinacity; he was universally regarded as one of the shrewdest men of business in that part of Yorkshire, and report credited him with any number of remarkable meannesses. It was popularly said that ‘owd Dick Dagworthy’ would shrink from no dirty trick to turn a sixpence, but was as likely as not to give it away as soon as he had got it. His son had doubtless advanced the character of the stock, and, putting aside the breeding of dogs, possessed many tastes of which the old man had no notion; none the less, he was credited with not a little of his father’s spirit in business. In practical affairs he was shrewd and active; he never—as poor Hood might have testified—paid a man in his employ a penny more than there was need, and fell far short of the departed Dagworthy’s generosity; to be at his mercy in a pecuniary transaction was to expect and to receive none. For all that, there was something in the man which hinted at qualities beneath the surface; a glance, a tone, now and then, which seemed on the point of revealing a hidden humanity.

  When he chose, he could be courteous; he was so at present, as he requested Emily and her father to seat themselves in a large homely room which looked out upon the garden. The woman who had carried the child reappeared and poured out cups of tea. When she had left the room—

  ‘I must ask you to excuse the roughness of my establishment, Miss Hood,’ he said. ‘I have to make shift for the resent with Mrs. Jenkins. She isn’t as refined as she might e, but she’s been with us here for more than twelve years, and I should be sorry to replace her with any other servant.’

  Pieces of bread and butter of somewhat undue solidity were offered. Emily ‘declined anything but the cup of tea. She was very ill at ease, though she succeeded in suppressing any manifestation of it; Dagworthy kept his gaze on her constantly.

  ‘Now I know you didn’t care very much about the dogs,’ he said to her presently. ‘I think I’ve got something here that will be rather more in your line.’

  He brought from a corner of the room a large portfolio, set it upon a chair in front of Emily, and exposed its contents. These were a number of fine photographs of continental cathedrals and churches.

  ‘I bought these when I took my run through France and Germany last year,’
he explained. ‘I’ve something of a turn for architecture, I believe; at all events, I know I like a fine building, and I like to find out all I can about it.’

  He went through the collection, with remarks which proved that he had certainly attained a rudimentary knowledge of the subject, and that his appreciation was often keen when his technical understanding might be at fault.

  ‘The worst of it is,’ he said, at one point, with a modesty which was a new feature in his conversation, ‘I can’t pronounce the names properly. Now, how do you read that, Miss Hood? To be sure; I know it when I hear it. Have you ever been in France?’

  The negative reply came.

  ‘You’d like to see the old-fashioned streets in which some of these churches stand.’

  As soon as it was possible to do so, Emily looked meaningly at her father, and he, just as anxious to be on his way homeward, rose for leave-taking. Dagworthy offered no opposition; he went with them to the gates, and shook hands with both, then stood gazing after them as they walked across the common.

  ‘Well, I never knew young Dagworthy anything like that before,’ said Mr. Hood, when they were at some distance from the gate. ‘I couldn’t believe it when he asked us to go into the house.’

  ‘I’m afraid mother will be very uneasy,’ was Emily’s reply.

  ‘Yes, my dear, I’m afraid she will; let’s walk sharply. But he was really uncommonly pleasant; I shall think a good deal better of him than I have done.’

  This was the only aspect of the afternoon’s adventure which presented itself to Mr. Hood. Emily was divided between relief at having got away from that persistent gaze and apprehension of what might meet them on their arrival at home. The latter feeling was only too well justified. Mrs. Hood sat in the kitchen, the window darkened. When speech was at length elicited from her, it appeared that a headache to which she was subject had come on in its severest form. Emily was at once active with remedies, not that any of those that she urged were likely to avail themselves, but because she was well aware that the more solicitude she showed the sooner her mother would resume her ordinary state. Mrs. Hood begged to be left to herself; let them have their tea and leave her in the kitchen, she was best there, out of people’s way; it would soon be bedtime, the evening was practically gone. In the course of half an hour she was at length prevailed upon to come into the sitting-room, and even to taste a cup of tea. At first she had paid no attention to the reasons alleged for the unpunctuality; little by little she began to ask questions on her own account, petulantly but with growing interest. Still, the headache was not laid aside, and all spent a very dolorous evening.