Love Scars

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Love Scars Page 9

by Lark Lane


  I remembered the feel of J.D.’s cock in my hand, and my muscles clenched with wanting him inside me. Quivering with the pulsing water, I steadied myself against the tiles until I shuddered with a serviceable orgasm. Not great, but it would do.

  I blow-dried most of the moisture out of my hair and rolled it up then laid down for a few minutes on my stomach, my head at the foot of the bed, my head resting on my crossed arms. The warm air felt sensuous on my naked skin. I inhaled deeply and exhaled, blowing out any lingering stress.

  There was a check in my bag for $50,000! The relief I felt was amazing. I closed my eyes for a few minutes, just to let my hair set....

  Happy chattering filtered in from the kitchen through my bedroom’s open door. I opened my eyes and sat up, naked on my bed. I must have fallen asleep. Lisa and Stacey were home from work.

  At the sound of the back door sliding open Stacey called out, “Hi, Frank!”

  “So how was the first day?” Frank said.

  “Ugh! I’m so tired!” Stacey sounded exhausted and happy all at once. Proud of herself. I was happy for her. That first day at the first job is such a great feeling.

  I aimed the blow dryer at my hair again then let the rollers sit for a few more minutes while I decided what to wear.

  “Happy birthday, kid!” Brad’s cheerful voice sounded from the kitchen. My heart raced, and I held my breath, hoping to hear J.D. with him.

  “Oh, how nice,” Frank said flatly. “You came.”

  “Happy birthday, Stacey.”

  Butterflies played over my stomach in reaction to J.D.’s low tone. I caught my smile in the mirror. Happy. Carefree. Like I was seventeen again.

  I chose my usual shorts and a new pink cotton tank top with cut-out snowdrops along the top. The back was all cut-outs in flower shapes that showed a lot of skin.

  I took out the rollers and brushed out my hair. I love the feeling of my hair falling on my shoulders, but I wanted to show off my bare skin, so I grabbed a scrunchie for a ponytail. I put on a little blush and lip gloss and my favorite sterling silver snowdrop earrings.

  J.D. had come. It had to mean he wasn’t completely repulsed by me. I felt my cheeks redden on the way out to the kitchen, thinking about my fantasizing earlier. The release in the shower was nice, but not enough. I had real feelings for J.D., and I didn’t want them to stop.

  I wanted Jaxom Draco Reider in my bed again, and not merely to keep me company when I slept.

  Chapter 15

  By now it was clear no one used the front door at Nora’s house. All the action happened in the backyard. Brad and I went through the side gate. Up on the deck hamburgers were cooking on the grill, but there was no one around.

  “Hey, guys!” Lisa called through the open window at the kitchen sink, waving us in. Brad grinned like a fool as he opened the sliding glass door. My heart went out to the guy, but he needed to move on.

  Lisa stood at the counter with a young girl, the two of them slicing tomatoes and onions for the burgers. The girl was like Nora, a few inches taller and more athletic. She had the same brown hair, though curlier and short, and her eyes were green.

  I must be getting old. Eighteen looked younger every year.

  “Happy birthday, kid,” Brad said.

  “How nice. You came,” Frank said. In the history of sarcasm, no one ever meant the opposite more.

  He walked past us with an empty tray and went outside. A few seconds later he appeared on the deck, framed by the wisteria at the kitchen window. If I owned the place I’d take out that wall, make it nothing but glass, and extend the deck another ten feet. The view of the lawn, the granite outcroppings, and the oak trees would be amazing.

  Actually, I had no business even being there, let alone making renovations in my head. I hardly knew these people. I didn’t know Nora’s niece at all. But I couldn’t help myself. I told myself I was being a good friend, supporting Brad in his misplaced devotion. I really just wanted to see Nora again.

  “Happy birthday, Stacey.” I handed the kid “my” present—the bike helmet Brad had picked out and bought and wrapped.

  “Birthday loot. Awesome.” She grinned and put down her knife and accepted the box. “What could it be?” She was a cutie. I liked her immediately. Basketball must be her game. She wore a jersey with the team name Waves and a number 10 on the front. “Is it from both of you?” She flashed a smile at Brad. “Or did you get me something too?”

  I got it then. She was like Veda, with the same aura of mischief about her. Brad was nuts for Lisa, no doubt about it, but Stacey drew him to this house in equal measure. She made him feel like a big brother again.

  The dude was just your basic good guy. He didn’t feel right unless he had someone to take care of. Who better than an avatar of his dead little sister?

  “Don’t worry, there’s more,” he said. “My present is too big to bring in the house.”

  “Yeah?” Stacey smiled at me and wiggled her eyebrows, then her gaze shifted behind me. “Hey, Aunt Nor. Brad got me a car for my birthday!”

  Aunt Nor. Everybody laughed at the joke as Nora joined us, but Stacey’s words hit me in the gut. I’m attracted to someone’s aunt. I knew Stacey’s father had been a lot older than Nora, but still. Life was clicking along, whether I joined in or not. Somebody’s aunt was five years younger than me.

  And it drove me crazy to be near her.

  She walked by to give the kid a hug, and the fragrance of rosemary and mint caught me. She had her hair up in a ponytail, showing her perfect shoulders and arms. Her tank top had flower-shaped holes all over it, exposing more skin, and her little flower earrings bounced when she moved, enticing a guy to come nibble.

  I want to be Nora Deven’s man. Desire swarmed over me like a wave. I wanted the right to grab her right there in front of everyone, wrap my arms around her and pull her close, kiss her neck and whisper something—anything—in her ear.

  Finally I’d found someone who made me feel at ease in the world. I felt great—and I felt like shit. How could she ever trust me? I’d begun with a lie.

  The sliding door opened again. “Burgers are ready.” Frank brought in a plate of patties and buns from the grill and set them on the counter. “Dive in.”

  “No fries. Chips.” Nora mimicked John Belushi from the classic Saturday Night Live skit as she tore open a bag of crinkly potato chips and poured them into a bowl.

  “And no martinis,” Lisa said.

  Thank god.

  “Beer and iced tea tonight. Nothing fancy.” She pointed her Teavana toward the refrigerator and smiled at Brad. “There’s Pale Ale.”

  No one else would notice, but I knew Brad. I saw the wistful longing pass over his face and his quick effort to suppress it. Poor bastard. I handed him a beer from the fridge and fixed myself a burger.

  I followed Nora out to the deck and sat in a chair beside her. “Is it just us? No big party tonight, huh?”

  “Stacey’s friends are coming by in a while to take her to the new Star Trek movie.” She smiled. “To my relief.” Again I wrestled with the urge to touch her.

  “So we’ve set the date.” Frank sat down next to Lisa and casually knocked his leg against her thigh, a small sign of possession. “The third Saturday in July. We’ll have time for a honeymoon and a week at home before I start my new position at the center. My brother’s coming from Africa to be my best man. He’s with MSF. Doctors Without Borders is the American name.”

  “Médecins Sans Frontières,” I said. BlueMagick was high on their donors list. “That’s awesome, dude. They do real good in the world.”

  I regretted the dude part. Frank wasn’t really the dude type.

  “I assume Nora’s your best lady,” Brad said to Lisa. “Or what’s that called?”

  “Maid of honor, silly,” Stacey said. “And I’m a bridesmaid. My first time. I agreed on the condition our dresses don’t suck.”

  “They won’t suck,” Lisa said. “I’ll give you veto power. How’s that
?”

  “Excellent.”

  “Where are you having it?” Brad said. “The ceremony.”

  “Here,” Nora said. “In the backyard. It’ll be great.”

  “This yard would be great for anything,” I said.

  “I wish I didn’t have to work tonight,” Lisa said. “I’d rather have a beer. Split shifts. Gotta love ‘em.”

  “You won’t have to work at all when we’re married.” Frank covered her hand with his.

  “I like working.” She squeezed Frank’s hand then dropped it as she bent down for her iced tea. “I like paying my bills, anyway. I just wish I set my own schedule. But I’ll take you up on that offer next fall while I finish my masters.”

  “Are you going to try for a job at the capitol?” Brad said. “Any politician would be lucky to have you on their staff.”

  “The capitol?” Frank said. “Commute to downtown Sacramento every day?”

  “My major is public policy and administration,” Lisa said. “I could probably try and get on with one of the cities, Roseville or Rocklin. But yeah. Working for the state would be a dream come true. I’d really love to work for the Water Board.”

  “Soon wars will be fought over water instead of oil,” Brad said.

  “I doubt that,” Frank said. “The world contains more water than anything else.”

  I didn’t think for a second they were arguing about water.

  Stacey stood up and put a stop to it. “So should I open my presents? I’m dying to know what’s too big for the house.”

  “Ours first,” Lisa said. She handed Stacey a small box. “Frank contributed.”

  “Yowza!” Stacey held up a Nordstrom’s gift card. “Five hundred bux? No way.”

  “You only turn eighteen once,” Frank said. “Knock yourself out. Happy shopping.”

  “Here’s mine.” Nora handed her a card. “Read it aloud.”

  “Happy birthday to my wonderful niece. Let’s go car shopping tomorrow. Love, Aunt Nora.” Stacey threw her arms around Nora’s neck. “A car! I was just kidding. Really? You’re kidding.”

  “You can’t always count on a ride,” Nora said. “Now that you’ll be working and going to Sierra, you need your own car.”

  “Sierra?” I said. That wasn’t right. I looked at Brad, but he was going for the bike and his back was to me. I caught Stacey’s eye and gave her a questioning look. She blushed and turned to Nora.

  “But you need a new car too, Aunt Nor. Yours is getting too old to find spare parts, and your air conditioning is whack.”

  “I’ve come into a little extra cash.” Nora looked sideways at Lisa and back to Stacey. “Maybe we’ll both pick out new cars. New to us, anyway.”

  A little extra cash. I’d forgotten about Steve Heron and MolyMo. I held my breath, hoping Nora would say more about it, but I received no joy.

  “Now for the big mysterious box.” Stacey picked up the present I’d given her, but she continued to avoid eye contact with me. Why did Nora think she was going to Sierra? The local community college certainly wasn’t what Brad told me.

  She opened the box and took out the helmet just as Brad came up the deck steps with the bike.

  “Fantastic!” Stacey strapped on the black helmet. It did look pretty slick. She took hold of the bike’s handlebars and looked it over. “This is awesome.”

  “You’re almost set for Stanford,” Brad said. “This will take you all over campus.”

  Nora’s head snapped up. As I suspected, she had no idea.

  “I’m going to Sierra.” Stacey turned red. “Sierra College, here in Rocklin.”

  “But you said…” Brad frowned. “You told me you were accepted.”

  “You…you applied to Stanford?” Nora looked betrayed. Something weird was going on between the two of them. Something Brad and I knew nothing about.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, Aunt Nora,” Stacey said. “I just wanted to see if I could make it. But when I got in, then I really couldn’t tell you.”

  “Oh, Stace.” Tears filled Nora’s eyes.

  “Well, excuse me,” Brad said, Steve Martin style. “I didn’t think getting into Stanford was the kind of thing you hide in shame.”

  “We can’t afford Stanford, Brad,” Stacey said. “I didn’t tell you, Aunt Nor, because I knew how bad you’d feel that I couldn’t go. Or worse, you’d take on more debt.”

  “Which brings me to your next present,” Brad said.

  He picked up the wadded up paper the bike helmet had been wrapped in, and as he smoothed it out, a blue envelope fell to the deck. I recognized the BlueMagick stationery.

  “It’s not really a birthday present.” He handed Stacey the envelope. “Actually, it’s not a present at all.”

  “My god.” Stacey’s eyes grew huge as she opened the envelope. “Aunt Nora, look. A scholarship for $25,000.” She held up a letter and a check. “Oh, my god. I can go. Brad, why didn’t you tell me about this?”

  “Same reason you didn’t tell Nora. I didn’t want you to be disappointed if you didn’t win.”

  “Win?” I said. I hoped my expression wasn’t as dubious as I felt.

  “I put you up for a scholarship at work,” Brad said. He gave me a look that said play along, dude! “You obviously had the best application.”

  I took the letter from Nora and scanned it. Brad had done a good job. Nothing on the letterhead identified either of us. It was signed by Jeri Cranston, the director of human resources at the Folsom plant, and she’d signed the check too.

  A sigh escaped me, and Nora looked at me strangely. “That’s really great, Stacey.” I handed back the letter and check.

  It wasn’t the money I sighed about. I had no problem giving away twenty-five grand for any kid to go to my alma mater—Brad’s too. The money was nothing to BlueMagick—and everything to Stacey. Great. But I was worried about Brad. He was setting himself up for a fall. These were nice people, but they weren’t his family.

  Stacey was a great kid, but she wasn’t Veda.

  “I think it’s fantastic.” Lisa got up and gave Stacey a hug. “Congratulations, Stace. I’m so proud of you.”

  “I am too, Stace,” Nora said. “Really. It’s wonderful news.”

  If everything was so wonderful, why did I sense a torrent of confusion flowing just beneath Nora’s surface?

  “Want to take it out for a test drive?” Brad nodded at the bike. “I’ve got mine in the SUV.”

  “Awesome,” Stacey said. “It has to be quick, though. They’ll be here soon to pick me up for the movie.”

  I went into the kitchen to get another beer. Nora was a mass of mixed messages. She was happy for her niece. Who wouldn’t be? I mean, Stanford! I was ninety-nine percent sure the kid had qualified on her own steam. Brad didn’t have that kind of pull. Stacey had gotten in, and that was the hardest part. All she had to do now was study like a demon and graduate. Doors to the good life would open for her everywhere.

  Nora should be happy. Deliriously happy. But something was driving other emotions. Maybe she wasn’t ready to let Stacey grow up and live her own life. With Lisa getting married and Stacey moving to the Bay Area, Nora would be alone.

  “I’m behind you.” Nora touched my back as she tossed her paper plate into the trash. Desire ripped through me like a jolt of electricity. I wanted to grab her and push her against the wall and kiss those luscious lips and taste all that skin.

  She looked up at me and froze in place. Her eyes were so beautiful. She wasn’t all pain. There was kindness too and intelligence in her eyes. Her gaze lingered on my lips, and I moved toward her.

  “You sure you don’t mind cleaning up?” Lisa came in through the slider and grabbed her bag from the table. “Frank’s going to take me to work.”

  “Of course not.” Nora moved away from me. “You cooked. I clean.”

  “Ta-ta, then.” Lisa zipped out the door again.

  “That’s how it is in my family,” I said. Nora turned back to me.
My longing hung in the air between us. Did she feel it at all? “I’ll help,” I said. “I’m a born pot-scrubber and paper plate throw-away-er.”

  There. A small smile.

  “It’s going to be okay,” I said quietly.

  Her eyes filled with tears.

  Chapter 16

  It’s going to be okay.

  I was extremely glad J.D. shut up after he said that. One more word, just one, and I was going to lose it. I was hyperaware of him so close to me in the kitchen. If Lisa hadn’t come in right then, I swear I’d be doing him on the floor right now.

  He rinsed off the few dishes and put them in the dishwasher, and I put away the leftovers and wiped down the counter. We worked in silence, but my emotions were a chaotic mess.

  Frank had taken Lisa to work. Brad and Stacey were out riding the bikes. J.D. and I were alone in the house. Everything in me wanted to press against his lean muscled body, to slip my arms around his waist and lay my head against his chest. I couldn’t do it.

  What was wrong with me? Wasn’t that what I wanted? Planned for? I’d made myself ready with clean hair, showing lots of skin and put on jewelry and makeup. I was ready to bat my eyelashes and laugh at his jokes and lead him down the hall to my bed. With one sentence he’d brought it all to a screeching halt.

  It’s going to be okay.

  I wasn’t used having a guy care about me. My dad and my brother Danny loved me, but that was so long ago I’d forgotten the sound of their voices. And they were never around much even before they died.

  It’s going to be okay. J.D.’s voice was so gentle and kind. I wasn’t prepared for it, and his words slipped through my defenses like a warm sweet unexpected kiss. The feeling was strange and wonderful and terrifying.

  I had to get away. I couldn’t handle thinking about J.D. while all these feelings about Stacey churned inside me.

  “I’ll be right back.” I laid the kitchen cloth on the counter. “I need to turn off the fountain.” I slipped outside and jogged to the flower garden. It felt good to move, to get my heart pumping from something other than J.D. Reider.

 

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