by Robin Janney
T he sun may have been enlightening the Montana horizon, but Nikki Flynn was sound asleep in her new motel room and firmly in a dream.
It had started out simple enough, an old nightmare of a summer day long ago. It had been late morning when her mother had sent her after her father. Her father had always spent more time at one tavern or another in the entire time she could remember. Nikki had been all set to go to the mall with some friends, but her mother wouldn’t let her have the car unless she promised to bring Harry home first.
This wasn’t the first time she had relived the miserable ride from the bar in her dreams. Each time the ride was more and more terrifying. In her dreams, her father would make hairpin turns on two wheels, vault the car into the air as he drove over hills the size of mountains, drove through fields and crashed through fences until it ended with the swerve missing the oncoming truck and the look of shock on the Carman boy’s face as they ran him down always caused her to awake screaming.
Except that’s not how this dream ended.
This time, when the car swerved, everything just suddenly stopped, and Nikki was thrown from the car. She landed on her feet in the middle of a field of daisies and cornflowers.
“What the…”
She was no longer the girl she had been, but the woman she had become. And she wasn’t alone.
The boy was as she remembered. Tall for his age, with dark auburn hair hanging in his eyes, Randy Carman stood before her giving her that look. The same penetrating gaze she’d seen hundreds of times at church back when she’d been a Sunday school teacher in her late teens. How she missed the boy.
“What are you doing here?” she asked harshly, as a pleasant summer breeze rippled through the flowers.
“I live here,” the boy answered, his lips curving in what looked like a smirk. God, she’d seen Angela smirk like that before…and the other woman’s incompetent cousin Susan. Which was fucking weird once you knew they weren’t related by blood. “What are you doing here?”
It was all Nikki could do not to sneer. “It’s my dream.”
“Is it?”
She sneered at him.
“Anyway, I meant Montana,” said the boy, picking a daisy and twirling it in his fingers.
“Excuse me?”
Randy sighed. “We can see what you’re up to on your side of reality. Probably better than you can. Not you specifically, just people in general.”
She rolled her eyes at him and wished this dream would end. Wasn’t there some rule about a dream ending if you knew it was a dream? Should she pinch herself? Nikki tried, lightly pinching the thin skin at her wrist and then twisting it harshly. It hurt like hell and nothing changed. “Then why ask about my plans if you already know?”
Randy shrugged. “To see if you can say it out loud.”
“Fine. I’m here to kill your sister. Or your cousin. Whatever she is to you.” She pushed her blonde hair out of her eyes. Was it longer here in this dream? Weird. She hadn’t had hair this long since before prison.
“Why?” the boy asked, with just a hint of a laugh.
“I guess you don’t love her as much as rumor makes out. Not if you can laugh at a threat to her life.”
“I don’t believe you’ll succeed,” he replied simply, the red in his hair shimmering in the bright sunlight. “And I loved her enough to die for her.”
“Really?” Nikki said in clear disbelief. “Who the fuck does that anyway?”
“I do. Jesus did.”
“Let’s leave Jesus out of this.”
Randy just smiled.
God, she hated this smile of his. Knowing. Mocking you because he knew something you didn’t.
“Angela never saw the car coming, Nicole. All she saw were her daisies. I saw your car coming and pushed her out of the way. What I didn’t know was that she was going to hold herself responsible.” Randy’s smile faded into a look of sorrow. “It wasn’t her fault, any more than it was yours. I made a choice. You had no choice that day.”
Nikki ached with the desire to reach out and slap him for being impertinent. Was that the right word? She didn’t know or care. She just knew she was trembling. Was it anger? Despair? Relief? No one had ever told her it wasn’t her fault before.
“But you have a choice now, Nicole. I’m not talking all that religious stuff about Jesus,” he said quickly before she could interrupt. “I’m talking about your plans for Angela. You can still walk away.”
“Not likely.” The thought had crossed her mind, but Nikki wasn’t going to tell the boy anything of the sorts. It had especially crossed her mind when she saw Angela picking up a pregnancy test. What would the New York bitch say if she was told? Still, it hurt to think about it, because was even that desire to be granted to the other woman? “Do you even know who I’m working with?”
“Not to sound cliché, but do you?”
“Sorry, but that did sound like a cliché.”
The sky darkened though there were no clouds in it. Even the bright flowers seemed to fade in intensity.
“What’s going on?” Nikki wondered out loud. What a strange dream this was becoming.
“Beast! Really?” The boy shook his head in disgust as a beast landed in the field next to them. “I’m handling this.”
Nikki looked at the new addition to the dream in amusement. It was some sort of demon, unlike one she’d ever seen before. It was short, maybe only reaching her waist. His ears were pointed, but they drooped. As did his bat-like wings; although they were apparently capable of flight since he’d landed from the sky. His eyes were a shiny kind of dull black, which was uncomfortable to look at. His short fingers and toes ended in blunted talons. She was hard-pressed not to laugh.
“This is what you call handling things?” The Little Beast sounded as disgusted as the boy looked.
“Yes, it’s called small talk,” answered Randy crossly. “You can’t just blurt things out to humans! You have to warm up to it.”
“At the rate you’re going, you’ll never stop any of this!”
“Like you’re doing any better haunting her room?” Randy laughed. “Now go, before you scare her!”
Now Nikki did laugh. “Not likely, kid. I can’t see anybody being afraid of this creature. Whatever it is, it looks like a cross between a Gremlin and an Ewok. And not the cute fuzzy Gremlin either.”
In a heartbeat, Little Beast’s form shimmered, and Randy groaned. And Beast grew into his most frightening form.
Nikki’s heart skipped a little. This was more like the demons she was used to dealing with. His skin was the color of drying blood and his wings were wide and strong. His dull eyes suddenly came to life and glowed like hot embers. And the talons tipping his fingers and toes were no longer stunted; they curled wickedly and ended in sharp points.
“That is because I chose to come to you in my lesser form.” His voice was lower and gravely. “Because I didn’t want to frighten you, but perhaps this is the best way to get through to you stupid humans!” The Beast pawed the ground impatiently, his talons leaving deep furrows in the soft dirt of the field. “Go home, Nikki Flynn! Stop this madness! Leave the Little Angel alone!”
Nikki managed to snicker half-heartedly. “Angela is no angel.”
“Then you have never seen her true brilliance!” said an angry Beast. He snapped his wings impatiently, causing the grass and flowers to flutter. “But that is beside the point! You must not do the Dragon’s bidding! Only heartache will come from it.”
“That’s kind of the idea,” muttered Nikki. “But…what dragon?”
“What Dragon?” Beast roared in disbelief. “What Dragon?”
Nikki thought of being sarcastic and reminding the Beast that had indeed been her question, but she decided it wasn’t a good idea. Especially since Randy was groaning and covering his face.
“Know that I will do whatever I can to stop you, stupid human.” In a smooth motion, the Beast launched himself into the air.
Nikki placed her hand ov
er her eyes and watched him fly away. Once he was out of sight, things brightened again. Lowering her hand and her eyes, she returned her attention to the Carman boy. The memory of darkness was chilling, especially with the furrow marks the demon’s talons had made decorating the ground in front of her. Even the daisies and cornflowers seemed to tremble still.
“What about you?” she asked Randy, curiously. “Can you change forms too?”
“I can. But I can’t override your perception of me. You see me as the boy you used to know. Unless you can accept the different rules of this side of reality, you’ll only ever see this form.”
“Huh.” Indeed, for a moment she thought she saw the man Randy would have grown into standing before her, but the image vanished before she could see it clearly. He would have been handsome. “Weird. How do you see me?”
“As you are. The truth of yourself, which you deny.”
Nikki expected a mirror to appear, so she could see who she really was, but none did. She shrugged her shoulders, trying to hide her disappointment. She knew she felt like the woman she was, even if her hair was longer. It was her dream, so why wouldn’t a mirror appear? Wasn’t she in control of this madness?
“You’re not even in control of your own plans, Nicole. Why would you think you’re in charge of this dream?”
She rolled her eyes at the boy again. “Trust me, kid, I know what I’ve got planned better than my partner. She doesn’t know everything she thinks she knows.”
“Partners?” Randy tested the word on his lips. “You actually believe that. Don’t you, Nicole?”
“Uhm, yeah. So, what was that nonsense about a dragon?”
Randy just shook his head. “You really have no idea who you’re working with. Which is sad because you’re doing exactly what she wants.”
Nikki bristled.
The boy began to walk away, without bothering to turn around. “Walk away while you still can, Nicole. The Beast and the Dragon aren’t the only players in this.”
He faded away into the flowers and trees behind him before she could speak again.
She thought the dream would end and she would wake, but instead Nikki found herself back at the beginning.
The sound of squealing tires and brakes filled her ears.
28
A ngela was waiting at the kitchen table when Nan walked in at her usual time, just before nine. She had already fixed and eaten her breakfast, keeping it light since her stomach was in knots. She didn’t feel sick like she had last night, just nervous. Princess lay at her feet under the table; it was getting so that the dog went outside long enough to do her business and then was right back inside at her owner’s side.
“Good morning, Miss Angela,” the housekeeper was saying as she shut the side door behind her. “How are you this rainy morning?”
“Fine.” For a second Angela wasn’t sure whether to continue the small talk pleasantries or to get right to her request. She and Nan walked the fine line between friends and employer/employee. And then the moment was over. Angela decided to be blunt, choosing to see the woman as her friend. “I have a doctor’s appointment at one, to see Dr. Ryan. Would you be able to rearrange things, so you could come along with me?”
Nan set her small purse on the kitchen island as she answered, “I don’t see why not. Is Rick too busy?”
“I didn’t ask Rick. I want you.” Angela wasn’t ready to make her announcement yet. She wanted to wait for the doctor to confirm it. Why she felt this way, she wasn’t sure. Perhaps it would be more real. She certainly felt as though she was walking in a daze since seeing those two lines on the pregnancy test.
Nan crossed to the kitchen sink even as she nodded. “Alright. That’s understandable. Sometimes you just want a woman’s company.”
“Exactly,” replied Angela. She felt herself relax some. She hadn’t expected Nan to give her any trouble, but she’d doubted whether the other woman would rearrange her day. She sipped from her milky tea in the mug in front of her.
“I don’t want to be a nosebag, but is there a specific reason why you haven’t taken all your medicine yet this morning?”
Angela sighed. Was her housekeeper playing babysitter for her husband, or was she teasing her employer? Her tone sounded almost playful. “Dr. Ryan doesn’t want me taking it until I’ve seen him today.”
Nan nodded and turned away from the cupboard where Angela’s medicines were kept. “Good enough. Is there anything specific you’d like for a meal today? I know you and Craig usually celebrate today.”
Shrugging, Angela pushed her tea away. It had cooled too much for her to drink anymore without warming it in the microwave first. “Not much point in celebrating without him. Do we have the makings for those double chocolate cookies I like?”
“I believe so. Will you want nuts in them?”
“No, not this time.”
It was pleasant to discuss trivial household issues until it was time for them to go. It gave Angela a break from her worries and thoughts.
Angela rolled her eyes as Princess tried to hop into the car with them. “No,” she told the dog somewhat crossly, shooing the dog out of the garage.
The spurned dog snorted and flopped herself down in the shade of the nearest tree. Her human was trying to handle too much on her own again.
Once on the road, Angela realized she hadn’t seen her brother all morning despite knowing he’d spent the night in the main house. Maybe it was his day off and he was sleeping in. She thought about asking Nan but decided not to. It wasn’t as though Jared had to report to her.
The two women made light talk as they traveled, Nan behind the wheel so Angela could carry on a text conversation with her husband. He was on his way to visit his brother, and she knew he was nervous even though he wouldn’t say so. Craig hadn’t seen his brother Tim in a long time, almost since the day of his imprisonment.
As they pulled into the parking lot for the large hospital complex housing Dr. Ryan and a slew of other doctors, Angela sighed. “That’s perfect timing. Craig’s at the prison now and is going to leave his phone in the car.”
“You haven’t told him you’re seeing the doctor?” asked Nan as she put the car into Park.
“No.” Angela put her phone in her small purse and opened the car door. The rain had stopped, though it remained overcast. “No need to worry him until I’m sure about things.”
Nan followed her boss. “Understandable.”
Ignoring the other patients flowing in and out of the main door, Angela turned to tilt her head at Nan. “You didn’t say anything to him, did you? I know you sometimes tell him if I miss my medicines or my doctor appointments.”
Chuckling, Nan patted the younger woman’s arm. “I can put two and two together, Miss Angela. I haven’t said anything about today’s appointment.”
Blushing, Angela turned and walked through the large circulating doors.
T he visiting area was stark and cold. Here there were no wide tables, no physical contact of any kind allowed. In fact, glass separated the visitors from the convicts. Phone receivers wired into the wall of each cubicle rendered the voices of each into a sound something less.
Craig Moore watched in silence as his older brother approached and took his seat on the other side of the glass window. Tim had always been the better looking one; taller, and leaner, with dark brown hair that used to fall into his hard eyes, which were as brown as his own. Prison had shortened the hair as well as added gray and had etched fine lines into the corners of his brother’s eyes; he looked older than forty, but Craig felt the usual pang of envy whenever he was in front of his brother just the same.
Tim picked up the phone receiver on his side and held it to the side of his head, and when his brother followed suit said, “Long time no see, little brother.”
Instead of defending himself, or apologizing, Craig replied, “You look good, Tim.”
“Thanks,” the older man said. “You don’t look half bad yourself. Marriage agrees with y
ou.”
It was different, sitting here face to face. The few times Tim called him at home, the two never ran out of things to talk about. And the few letters which passed between them were the same. But now, Craig couldn’t seem to find the words to say how happy he was to see his brother face to face. He wasn’t even sure it was able to show on his face.
Tim seemed to have the same problem, as he sat there mute as well.
“How are you?” asked Craig. It seemed almost trivial, but knowing they didn’t have all the time in the world spurred him to say something, anything.
His brother shrugged. “Alive and breathing, and nobody’s bitch. Burdening the taxpayers for yet another day.”
Craig almost chuckled. He didn’t think he could face his brother’s life sentence with the same sense of humor.
“Is Dad doing as good as he sounds?” Tim asked, his worry betrayed.
“I don’t know.” Craig sighed, glad he wasn’t alone in his worry. “I’m there a lot, and it looks like he’s adjusting well but I can’t shake the feeling he’s in denial. He has physical therapists who come in every day to push him through exercises, goes out for water therapy, and has aides in the penthouse around the clock in case he needs more help than Veronica or I can give.”
“Huh.” Tim scratched at his uncovered ear. “I haven’t had a letter from your wife yet this month. How’s she doing?”
“Why is everybody so concerned about my wife? Angela’s fine. I was texting with her shortly before I came in here. She and our housekeeper were on their way into the city for a shopping trip.”
“Huh,” said Tim again. “Let me ask you something, Craig. Why are you still here if Dad’s managing well enough on his own?”
Taken aback by his brother’s directness, Craig wasn’t sure what to say. Tim never had been one to waste words, so where was he headed with this? “I don’t believe he is.”
“He must be doing well enough if you’ve got time to run around the city with your old girlfriend.”
