by Robin Janney
“I’m alright, Princess,” she told her dog, running a shaky hand over the floppy ear. Trying to remind herself the emotions were from years ago and she wasn’t upset now was difficult. The strength of these remembered emotions certainly explained her memories of the tantrum which had happened later that day. Why had this little snippet of memory hidden while the others from that day had remained? Would she ever understand? “I don’t understand why they come back like they do, or when they do. Maybe…oh, I don’t know…”
Rising to her feet, Angela fastened the bracelet around her right wrist. At least now she understood why she preferred it on this wrist.
Checking herself in the full-length mirrors on the back of the closet doors, just as she had done Sunday night, she decided it was as good as she was ever going to get. She pulled on low-heeled strappy sandals, the same color green as her dress, and made her way downstairs.
Going to the French doors along the back wall of the dining room, she stopped just over the threshold to take in the sight before her. Princess sat at her feet, tail swishing happily back and forth.
Her husband had certainly been busy while she’d been away for the afternoon.
The veranda had been enclosed by white bamboo trellis and white Christmas lights were threaded through the lattice; once the sun dipped below the horizon, it was going to be even more amazing. How long had this taken?
Her large clay planters full of late summer roses had been moved closer to their table; how many men had it taken to move those? Had Nan done the pruning needed to have roses this late in the summer? She must have, and Angela felt a pang of guilt over her depression and the neglect to her hobbies it had caused. Continued to cause.
Their small round table was covered in a satiny white tablecloth, and it looked like it was set with formal place settings. A small vase of daisies sat on the table, off-center so they wouldn’t obstruct the diners from looking at each other.
Her husband sat at the table, working at something on his iPhone. Craig didn’t even know she was here yet. He was wearing his usual casual black suit, the jacket hanging open like he preferred with the snowy white shirt unbuttoned at the top. She swore he owned a dozen of those suits, all identical to each other. At least he wasn’t wearing a tie. God, he was handsome.
Princess yipped, and his gaze came up. He smiled widely and set his iPhone on the table. Her husband stood to his feet and grabbed a daisy out of the vase. And Angela couldn’t move…this intense gaze of his held her captive like it always did. All she could do was stand there and watch him move closer to her.
59
C raig crossed the distance between them slowly, drinking in the lovely vision before him as he snapped the wet part of the stem off the daisy in his hands. His wife had taken his request to heart, even putting gentle waves in her hair so the feathery ends danced around her face at the light breeze sneaking through the lattice. Angela had even redone her nails, the bright shade of pink she preferred; it never mattered to him, but it was something she liked doing. Standing before her, he slid the daisy into her hair above her ear and then let the back of his fingers graze her cheek in a soft caress. His smile softened at the sparks igniting in her eyes and the pink blossoming in her cheeks.
“Good evening, Mrs. Moore. You look ravishing. I trust your appointment went well?” There had been no email from her doctor yet, and he was hoping it was a good sign.
To his surprise, his wife shook her head. “It was weird. Something’s bothering Pat, she was more on edge than I was.”
“Well, we all have off days.” He’d deal with this later. They had more important issues to deal with. “But right now, let’s not worry about it. Let’s just focus on us.”
Angela nodded. “Okay. So, this is a d-date?”
“It is,” confirmed Craig. He took his wife by the hand and drew her to the table. Seeing her seated, Craig sat back down across from her and sent a text message with his phone. As usual, Princess followed her mistress and curled up next to Angela’s seat.
“What are you doing?” his wife asked. Her hands played with the silverware at her spot, straightening them over and over again.
“Letting Nan know she can bring us the first course. She won’t come out here unless I send her a message.” Craig leaned back in his chair. He hadn’t seen this level of fidgeting from her in years. It bothered him almost as much as the stutter she’d developed. The stutter was inconsistent, which Kevin said was a good sign. “What’s bothering you?”
She shrugged, managing a weak smile. “Must be having an off day.”
It could be that, thought Craig. Lord knew they’d both been through too much this past summer.
Angela started to say something, but she cut herself off when Nan came through the French doors pushing a wheeled cart. “What in the world?”
Craig thanked their housekeeper as she set the plates with the huge burgers and a pile of fries in front of them. She only smiled as she poured them each a tall glass of soda, and a glass of water.
“Come along Princess, let’s leave them alone, shall we?” Nan remarked to the dog.
“Thank you, Nan,” commented Craig, with a grateful smile. He was satisfied to see his wife lift the top bun of her burger to look at the lettuce and other toppings as Nan quietly withdrew with the cart, taking the dog with her. He thought the dog looked approving again, and he couldn’t help but be amused.
“Oh Craig, is this the burger from the Overlook?” Angela asked.
“It is. I called the restaurant to get their recipes for tonight’s meal. Carmichael was a little hesitant at first, but once he realized who it was for, he was more than happy to share. Even your favorite dessert.” That certainly flustered her. It wasn’t a true copy of their first date because tonight he was sharing her meal from that day with her. Did she remember any of it? “What were you going to ask when Nan came out?”
His wife shrugged, reaching for the plastic ketchup bottle. “Silly really,” she said.
“What is?” He watched her squeeze ketchup generously over her burger and fries. He remembered how she had struggled with the glass ketchup bottle from the restaurant that day, which was the reason why he had Nan make sure the ketchup was always in a squeezable bottle. His wife had never commented on it. Holding his hand out to take it from her, Craig squeezed ketchup over his burger and a pool by the fries.
“I was just going to ask if you had the entire evening planned out.”
“I do.”
“Sex too?” she asked, biting into her burger. She made the same little happy sound she had that day too. He loved hearing this sound.
He chuckled, managing not to blush. “It’s not at a specific point in the itinerary, but yes.”
“Oh Craig, you don’t have to do all this for sex. We’re married, for crying out loud. We stopped being ‘just friends’ a long time ago.”
“I’m not sure we were ever ‘just friends’,” Craig said softly, drawing a fry through his pool of ketchup but not eating it. “I need this, Angela. I couldn’t help my dad being injured, but I let it keep me from you for too long. And a lot of crap happened because of that. I can’t undo any of my poor choices, but I can mend the damage I did to our relationship. Yesterday, something changed between us and some of our friendship started to come back. I miss that as much as the sex, Angela. Maybe more.”
She looked at him with mild surprise, her burger held in the air halfway to her mouth. “Yeah, I understand that. It’s been lonely.”
“I’m glad you understand. So tonight, let me romance you a little.”
“Okay,” she said softly. Taking another bite, Angela sat her burger down and grabbed some fries with one hand. “Can I ask you something? Without it spoiling what you’re trying to do?”
“You can ask me anything.” Craig began to eat his own meal.
“How close were you and Katie when you were kids?”
“Probably too close. At least physically. Emotionally, I’m not sure. I mean
, we were young teens when we dated.” Craig wondered if she would ask for details, and whether he could answer her again. That she had to ask, drove home how little she remembered of the hours before their marriage. She had been unable to sleep, and he’d stayed up with her; they had talked for hours on the airplane trip to Vegas while Kevin and Sherry had slept. “We did a few things I’m not proud of, but we never had sex.”
Angela nodded. “Sounds normal.”
Craig couldn’t stop the laugh. “Sorry,” he apologized as he took in her questioning look. “It’s just that Kevin said the same thing.”
Her smile was wry. “I’m not surprised.” She opened her mouth, struggled with what she wanted to say. He could see shame in her eyes and wondered what it could be about. The shame won, and she asked, “Are-are you mad I’ve been talking to him?”
It hurt him that there was something she felt she couldn’t share with him yet, but it was his fault wasn’t it? He’d be patient and not push her. He would take what she could offer him, and match it, surpass it until all her barriers were down. He’d done it before and he’d do it as many times as needed. “I wouldn’t say mad. It surprised me at first, and yes, it’s a little weird. But from what I gather, he was there for you when you needed someone.”
“I figured, who better to ask about a guy than another guy? And Kevin’s your best friend, so I thought he’d be a better help. Pat doesn’t completely get you as it is. Do you want me to stop talking with him?”
“No,” answered Craig. He pointed his fry at her, bringing a smile to her face. “If it helps you, you can talk to Kevin all you want. But, I want to clear something up, honey. You’re my best friend, Angela, not Kevin. I’m not sure when you and Kevin switched places, but you did and I’m not sorry about it. You and I don’t always understand each other, but we never stop trying.”
She had nothing to say to that, but he could see a variety of emotions playing across her face. “I’m never going to be able to eat all this,” she said instead.
“You’ve done it before,” Craig commented lightly. He wondered why what he had said bothered her. He could see the pleasure on her face from his comment, but he could see confusion and hurt laced through it too. “I’ve seen you.”
“You have? But…the last time I remember this meal is from my Junior Prom.”
“Yes, you told me about it.” He cleared his throat. “I took you to the Scenic Overlook for our first official date. It was after your first follow-up doctor’s appointment when you had pneumonia.”
She set the burger down on the plate. “You…” Her gaze unfocused and he waited for it to pass. Jared had told him she would stare off into nothing when a memory came back to her. At last, pleasure blossomed on her face. “You had steak! And mashed potatoes with gravy! And you told me I could have one of everything if I wanted.”
“I did. Did you just remember it?”
“Yes!” Her hand came up to her mouth, and her eyes shone with excited joy. Pointing at the bracelet on her wrist, Angela continued to speak. “I just remembered upstairs when you gave this to me! It’s kind of why I wore it. I haven’t remembered our wedding yet, but I did remember a fragment of our wedding night. Just enough to know…”
“To know what?” he asked.
Her face pinkened. “I remembered just enough to know how nervous I was about having sex for the first time. And what I wore.”
“Ah,” he said, rather grateful the complete memory hadn’t resurfaced. What would it do to her when it did? If it did return, he prayed he was close enough to hold her as he had promised years ago, as he had done that night. Even though they’d gone on to enjoy their honeymoon, the initial revelation about her virginity and the implications had devastated her. He didn’t want her to have to go through that again. “Which was why you were wearing the same outfit last night.”
“Yeah,” she said softly. “You have the same look in your eyes tonight you did then. Nervous, but ridiculously in love with me.”
“That about sums it up,” he admitted. Drawing a deep breath, Craig asked a question he should have asked her four years ago when she had come back to him after her coma and admitted to not remembering their wedding or the week before it. He knew the answer, had been able to figure it out rather quickly, but he asked now to see if she was in a place where she could answer. Especially given her words of hatred towards herself when she’d had her episode in his office. “Angela, how much do you really remember from before your coma?”
She lifted a fry to her mouth, and he could see her hesitation.
“I should have asked years ago,” he admitted, for her benefit. “I was just so happy you were coming back to me, and I never thought…we’ve been together almost five years, Angela. Surely you know me well enough by now, even with my recent fuck up, to know I love you.”
“I do,” his wife said softly. She took a drink from her glass of soda, a smile blossoming at the taste. “I-I ‘know’ more than I actually remember. Fragments.”
He drew a deep breath. “How long was it before you remembered my name?”
“I never really did. I heard my father call you by name.” Angela wiped a tear away from her cheek, looking frustrated. “And I only knew his name because I heard you call him by name.”
“You’re telling me you stayed married to a stranger?” It caused Craig more than a little anxiety to think about it.
“No, I wouldn’t say that. I remembered you from…what my mind called the Battle with the Beast. I-I felt who you were to me, I recognized your voice. I knew what I felt for you wasn’t new. And I didn’t forget everything. I remembered how you used to have Jared and me over for a meal and movies. I remember you used to help me with my karate class, even if I don’t remember how that started. You weren’t a stranger to me, I just didn’t know your name right away.” She shrugged and picked her burger back up.
It was something of a relief to hear her say that. “I can’t begin to tell you how relieved I am to hear you say that. I was a little worried about it.” His wife’s face flushed again, but he changed the subject before she could say anything in response. “Angela, I wasn’t going to talk business tonight, but there’s something I need to tell you. And the sooner the better. I’ve decided to sell the store.”
“What?” Angela’s head jerked up, and she lowered the burger she’d just picked up back to the plate. “But why? You love running the store.”
“Yeah, I do,” Craig admitted as he leaned back in his seat. “But I love you more. And I’m not willing to spend another night away from you. That means I need to stop going to Tyler’s Grove as often as I have been. Because that town still affects you negatively, and I can’t do that to you ever again. Hell, it had a negative effect on me this last time. Walking in on you having that – I don’t know what it was, anxiety attack or flashback, but it scared me more than a little.”
“Oh Craig,” sighed Angela. Her relief was clear to him, as was her regret. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. We have the ranch, and it’s doing well enough. We’ll be adding your horses and therapy. If I really want to run a store, I’ll find something local.”
Angela wiped tears from her cheeks again. “Thank you.”
Sliding his fingers across the screen of his iPhone, Craig asked, “When was the last time we danced, Mrs. Moore?”
“I…I don’t know. Have we? I think you said we danced at Judy’s wedding.” She shrugged as the music began to play from speakers in the corners. The soft love song began, Trisha Yearwood’s How Do I Live. Her face betrayed the emotions the song triggered even if she didn’t remember the events connected to the song.
“I think it’s time to fix that. Come on, Angel.” He had neglected this woman long enough. Craig stood and stepped away from the table, his hand held out to her.
Angela rose and advanced into his arms easily. She lifted her arms around his neck, her head against his chest. It felt good to hold her in his arms again; she fit here. In a slow circl
e they turned, arms wrapped around each other. Looking up at him after the song finished, she smiled. “We should do this more often. I like this.”
He smiled back as another song began. “We should.”
Craig was lost in the moment of the memories he had, wished she could remember the same moments, even if some of them had been tainted by previous experiences. Their brief honeymoon had bonded them, and then that bond had been damaged by the kidnapping and the coma that followed. It had taken him this long to realize just how badly. He wasn’t sure how much she didn’t remember, just that it wasn’t everything like he’d feared since her explosion in his office. How much did that explain her hesitation towards him?
“I’m sorry I took you for granted, Angela,” Craig told his wife, his fingers brushing at the scars along her right temple.
She nodded. “I-I think I took you for granted too. I…the night we fought, and I went into your office…I was so angry you weren’t there to make me feel better. How silly is that?”
“I don’t think it’s silly at all.” He brushed her lips with his. Her arms tightened around him.
“Just so you know,” Angela said softly, unexpectedly as he ended the kiss. She bit her bottom lip. “I’m not wearing any panties.”
“Really?” replied Craig, his hands twitching where he held her waist. The flicker of her old impulsiveness made him smile wider.
“Really. I-I hope that doesn’t bother you.”
“Not a bit.” He lifted a hand to her face again, caressed her cheek softly.
“Are you sure?” she asked, pressing into his touch. “I mean, my desire for you…”
“Doesn’t bother me, Angel, because I know you want so much more. You always have.”
Angela nodded and bit her lip again.
Craig smiled and knew what he had to do when Amazed by Lonestar began playing. He pulled her closer, wrapping her gently in both arms again, lowering his head over hers. Softly he began to sing along with the song. He could feel the effect it was having on her, a gentle trembling in her body. A trembling that wasn’t fear or anxiety.
