by Jayne Bamber
“The fault is mine,” Lady Rebecca replied. “I did not make the decision to travel here until last night at Harriet’s come-out ball, and Mr. Knightley suggested that by the time we sent word to Hartfield, we might be already arriving ourselves.”
As Rebecca moved toward the sofa, she was interrupted by the two youngest boys darting in between herself and Mrs. Weston, squabbling over a toy. As Rebecca stepped back to avoid colliding with them, she instead collided with Mr. Knightley, who had appeared behind her in pursuit of his nephews.
“Oof,” she cried, startled that she had stepped backward into Mr. Knightley’s outstretched hands. He helped her steady herself, and led her to the sofa, gesturing for Mary to follow, before he smiled awkwardly and moved to catch up with the children. He grabbed them both up, one on each arm, and took exaggeratedly large steps back to the other side of the room, all three of them laughing wildly.
Mrs. Weston observed their antics with a look of affection before turning her attention back to Rebecca and Mary. “The house seems to be rather in uproar this morning, but I assure you that is not typically the case. John was detained just now by some unfortunate business with the help – he was obliged to sack the children’s nanny yesterday evening after – well, it seems the nanny was cousin to both the cook and the housekeeper, and they have both refused to work after hearing their relation was dismissed. It is rather a mess, and my husband is helping John sort it all out.”
“Servants refusing to work? What an infamous way to treat a family in mourning,” Rebecca said, full of indignation. “They must have very little need for their jobs! What is being done about the matter? I shall go and speak to them at once; I daresay I can make them see reason!”
Mrs. Weston looked taken aback. “I am sure John and my husband can see to it. Poor Emma has been helping with the children, but as she was obliged to do without breakfast this morning, she has developed a headache, and has just gone up to her room. I shall let her know you have arrived.”
“Very well,” Rebecca said, growing rather alarmed by the state of affairs at Hartfield. It was decidedly not as auspicious a beginning as the fawning Mr. Elton believed. Her cousin John Knightley, a solicitor by trade, must have known he would someday inherit Mr. Woodhouse’s estate, but was apparently not up to the challenge of managing it quite yet, and Rebecca’s first concern was for how her cousin Emma was handling the changes.
She was approached by the little girl who had fallen at her feet earlier, who now shyly showed her a little doll, blushing as she looked up at Rebecca. “I have – I have a doll,” she cooed.
Rebecca stared at the little sprite in front of her awkwardly, knowing some response was expected. “You are a doll,” she said, lamenting that her tone hardly sounded friendly.
Mr. Knightley broke away from his nephews to come and crouch beside his niece, lowering his tall frame until he was nearer the little girl’s own height, and he peered up at Rebecca, giving her a quick wink before addressing the child. “Fear not, little Izzy, I daresay she is more afraid of you than you are of her, if she knows what’s good for her.” He mussed the girl’s hair affectionately before scooping her up and carrying her over to Mrs. Weston, who took the child onto her lap.
Miss Fairfax smiled at the girl. “I had a doll just like this when I was a girl. What is her name?”
“Charrrlotte,” little Izzy giggled.
Miss Fairfax beamed at the child. “I shall take her, if you like, Mrs. Weston. I suppose you must be wanting to show Lady Rebecca and Miss Bennet upstairs.”
“Thank you, my dear.” Mrs. Weston handed Izzy off to Miss Fairfax, who was herself rather childlike in stature. “Well, Lady Rebecca, Miss Bennet, let us go up and see if there are any guest rooms that will serve your needs, as it seems the housekeeper will not be doing her duties today.”
“Oh for Heaven’s sake,” Rebecca said, “you need hardly do servants’ work on our account. I should prefer to go directly to Emma. Mary and I do not mind waiting until proper order has been restored to get settled in, is that not right, Mary?”
“Oh, no,” Mary said. “That is, I am sure your cousin must wish to see a familiar face first – I do not mind waiting here.”
Rebecca glanced over at Mary, seeing how she eyed Mr. Elton, and tried to conceal a smirk. “Suit yourself, my dear; I am sure I shall not be long. Cousin Emma must wish to rest, if she is so indisposed, but I should at least like to let her know I am here.”
Once they were making their way upstairs, Mrs. Weston took on a more confidential tone with Rebecca. “I do apologize again for the chaos this morning, Lady Rebecca. Miss Bates means well, I am sure, and has been something of a staple here at Hartfield for many years. She was once a gentlewoman herself, in former years, though her circumstances are now greatly reduced, and she was one of Mr. Woodhouse’s dearest friends. I think her near-daily visits have remained a habit for her – she comes often, sometimes with her elderly mother, and Miss Fairfax visits them from time to time, though she is very often traveling with Colonel Campbell and his family – they raised her from the time she was a child, when her mother passed. Mr. Elton is… also a frequent visitor. He came to us last summer, and I understand your brother Mr. Fitzwilliam recommended him – he had been the curate of Lady Catherine’s parish for a short time. I heard her mention him when I was visiting in London – is it not an odd coincidence?”
Rebecca gave a snort of amusement. “I wonder why she did not keep him in Hunsford. He seems just the sort of sycophant she likes.”
“To hear Mr. Elton tell it, he was not completely content in his previous establishment, though of course your aunt seemed to paint a different picture. He is well-liked here in Highbury, and your cousin and I thought he might do for her friend Harriet, but of course that was before we all knew her history. However, I think Mr. Elton’s attentions fixed elsewhere, between you and me.”
Rebecca nodded appreciatively. She rather liked Mrs. Weston from their brief acquaintance in London, but that the woman was so keen to inform her of the state of things suggested she would prove to be an ally well worth having during her time in Surrey.
Mrs. Weston let her into the family wing of the house, and halted outside Emma’s bedroom door, knocking gently. “Emma, my dear, you have a visitor.”
There was no response, but the motherly Mrs. Weston opened the door a little and peered inside. “Dearest, there is someone here who is very eager to see you.”
Emma’s reply was muffled, but apparently her former governess was satisfied. She gave Rebecca a gentle squeeze on the arm before turning to go. “I shall leave you two to grow better acquainted.”
Emma was seated in a window seat overlooking the back garden, another place where Rebecca recalled having played as a child. She grinned as Rebecca came into the room. “Cousin Rebecca?”
Rebecca crossed the room and seated herself beside Emma on the window seat. “I am sorry I gave you no notice of my coming. How are you feeling?”
Emma did not answer directly, but stared curiously at Rebecca for a minute, chewing her lip nervously. She was very pretty, though her black gown did not suit her rosy complexion, and the style in which she had pinned up her fine blonde hair was plain and severe. Drawing her thick black shawl around herself, she finally replied, “I am well, Cousin Rebecca. Thank you for coming to see me. I am sure we shall seem very dull compared to your life in London, but I am grateful all the same.”
“I think not,” Rebecca said with a gentle laugh. “The house seems lively enough, today at least. Mrs. Weston told me that all the commotion had given you a headache.”
Again Emma chewed her lip before answering. “Not exactly – that is, I may have lied about the headache, but I suppose I would have gotten one if I had stayed downstairs much longer. It is rather bad luck Miss Bates and Jane Fairfax should be here for your arrival, and of course Mr. Elton would come; he is always turning up when he is not wanted!”
***
Emma flushed wi
th embarrassment. Cousin Rebecca had only just arrived, and already she was speaking unkindly about her neighbors, who had been very good to her family since her father and sister passed. How mean-spirited and ungrateful Rebecca would think her!
“I should not have said that,” she admitted. “Everyone here in Highbury has been so kind to us since…. But I am grown weary of everything, these days. Harriet was such a comfort to me, but I know she had to go away, and I have tried to be happy for her finding her family at last. I think she is now your cousin, as well. How funny that we became friends on our own, only to discover we shared a cousin in common. How does she get on in London?”
Emma had received a letter from Harriet only the day before, describing her eventful first week in London and her exuberant extended family; she knew that Harriet did very well indeed, despite the occasional moment of anxiety, but she suddenly felt too nervous in her cousin’s company to discuss the real reason Rebecca was here.
“Oh yes, Cousin Harriet is a dear, sweet girl,” Rebecca said, fixing Emma with a probing gaze. “She was so nervous when she first came amongst us, but her mother quite dotes upon her, and seems to believe Harriet can do no wrong. It is a very strange thing, for my perception of Aunt Catherine has changed so wildly since learning of Harriet’s existence, and seeing how they are together. In my childhood, Aunt Catherine was a person much to be feared, but now I think Harriet has her wrapped around her little finger, and that is just as it should be.”
Emma recognized the wistfulness in Rebecca’s sigh, as Rebecca turned away and gazed out the window. How odd, that they should both be without a mother themselves these many years, and now Harriet had suddenly gained one herself. What a reversal!
“Are you and Harriet very close?”
“Only recently so,” Emma said. “I made her acquaintance last September, after Mrs. Weston’s marriage. Did you know Mrs. Weston was once my governess? She married Mr. Weston, a match which I myself once took some credit for, but I grew lonely after she moved away to Randalls, though it is but half a mile from Hartfield. I met Harriet one afternoon while visiting Mrs. Goddard’s, and I was instantly intrigued by her liveliness. We became fast friends, and when Papa took sick, and then Isabella, Harriet was fearless of her own health and safety in attending me, for I took ill as well. Pray forgive me, I am sure you must know all this already.”
“Indeed I do,” Rebecca replied. “Mr. Knightley and I spoke at length last night at Harriet’s come-out ball. I was quite pained at hearing the news, and my heart aches for you, my dear. I do not know how useful you shall find me, but I have brought my dear friend Mary, my cousin by marriage – she lost her father a year ago, and has such a tender heart, I am sure she will be a great comfort to you.”
“She is very welcome,” Emma replied.
“We are both eager to come to know you better. I have been a very neglectful cousin, for we are only a few years apart in age, and I ought to have taken notice of you much sooner. I do hope you can forgive me.”
Emma drew her shawl tighter around herself, and attempted a wan smile at her cousin. “Better late than never, I suppose. I should be glad to come to know you better, Rebecca.”
Rebecca nodded appreciatively, and Emma began to feel awkward. She had not wanted anybody’s pity, not at all these last four months, and having it from a woman who, though family, was virtually a stranger, made Emma quite uncomfortable. Her cousin seemed far more serious than she had expected – Mr. Knightley had described her as rather wily, and Mrs. Weston’s description from meeting her in London had painted Rebecca as cheeky and playful. Emma began to wonder if perhaps it was her own demeanor that rendered Rebecca now so very morose.
She fell silent for a moment, wondering just what it was she wanted from her cousin, and what Rebecca in turn was expecting from her. How were they to get on together, strangers brought together under such awful circumstances?
Finally, Rebecca said, “Do you want to talk about it? Your father, I mean, and Isabella….”
Emma shook her head. “Not yet, I think. Perhaps another time. I promise I am not usually so very reserved; I hardly know what has come over me.”
“I hope I do not make you nervous,” Rebecca said earnestly.
“No indeed,” Emma was quick to assure her. “I am glad you are come, really I am. I suppose I feel guilty for depriving you of all the comforts of London.”
“Well,” Rebecca replied, “I do reside in London, so the hustle and bustle of it holds not the same appeal for me as it does for those who are experiencing it for the first time, such as our little Harriet. In truth, I was very happy to come here and see you; I like to make myself useful when I can, and London was growing rather dull for me. This shall be an adventure.”
“An adventure for you, perhaps,” Emma blurted out without thinking, and clamped her hand over her mouth. Whatever was wrong with her today? “I am sorry, I ought not to have said that. I often find myself saying the most awful things when I had better keep silent, and I am sure I shall drive Brother John to distraction if I am not more careful.”
Rebecca smirked. “I understand John has quite a lot to drive him to distraction already. I met the children, and I understand there was some calamity with the servants?”
Emma breathed a sigh of relief, content to speak of smaller matters for now. “It is the most dreadful thing. John sacked the third governess in four months, and I do not know what we shall do now. I do love my nieces and nephews, for they are dear, sweet children, but they are so very exuberant. They have been through so much, losing their mother. I know I ought to feel more compassionate, but it can be trying, at times, when I am asked to look after them.”
“You are asked to look after them?” Rebecca recoiled in dismay.
“Of course, I do not mind,” Emma quickly reassured her. “I love the children. I suppose it is not entirely John’s fault, or anyone else’s, that it has been so difficult to keep a governess. The one who first came down with them, when they traveled from London last October, caught the same fever that afflicted Papa and Isabella and I, and many others in the village. After that, the next governess was rather a strange creature, and superstitious about being in a house in mourning; she claimed to have seen a ghost, and Brother John did not like that.”
“A ghost? That is in the worst possible taste,” Rebecca admonished.
“That is what John said. The next one, more of a nanny than a governess, lasted only three days, for she came from a house with only two children, and girls at that, so she found she did not like caring for three boys, a girl, and an infant. I thought we had got past our troubles with this latest nanny, and she was with us for more than two months. But last night she importuned John in a most unseemly manner, and he got the idea that she might have been attempting to… well, put herself forward, if you take my meaning.”
“Good heavens! Throwing herself at a grieving widower?”
Emma nodded, suppressing a smile. It was almost funny that any young lady, even a servant, should find her brother John to be the object of that sort of interest. She had been incredulous enough, as a young girl, when Isabella had taken a fancy to him. He was rather plain, and so very droll! “Yes, and now I do not know what we shall do. In between each governess, I have occupied much of my time in caring for the children until a replacement was found, and I know it is wrong of me to complain about it, but it is so very tiring. I cannot imagine how Mrs. Weston ever did it, even with only two girls to look after.”
“I must speak to John about it,” Rebecca said firmly. “I cannot think it right for him to trouble you with his children at such a time, when you yourself are grieving just as much as he – more so, too, for they were your relations before they were ever his. No, I cannot permit him to take advantage of you in such a way!”
“He is not taking advantage – please do not tell him that is what I think, for it is only my duty. He has been very kind to me since he took over Hartfield, and says that I shall always have a
home here, and may continue acting as a mistress of the house just as I did for Papa. I would not wish him to think me ungrateful.”
Rebecca’s posture stiffened with righteous indignation. “Ungrateful? Forced to act as a governess yourself, he could not possibly dare to think you ungrateful! I will not have it! I shall not put words into your mouth, but I will speak to him about the matter directly. I may be a guest in this house myself, but I am almost his nearest remaining relation, after yourself and Mr. Knightley, and I will not see you mistreated in any way. You are to occupy your time with Mary and me, for we have come to lift your spirits in such pursuits as befit your station, not keep you company while you are forced into service as a schoolmarm! If your brother is not capable of hiring acceptable servants, I shall see to it myself, with no further burden to you. Your purpose, henceforth, is to look after yourself, and nobody else.”
Emma beheld her cousin in astonishment at hearing such a ferocious speech, and her lip quivered for a moment before she began to softly cry.
“Oh, damn and blast,” Rebecca sighed. “I have said the wrong thing again. I am sorry, Emma,” she said, taking Emma’s hand in her own. “I have an uncanny talent for putting my foot in my mouth. I am sorry if I have given you offense.”
Weeping still, Emma lunged forward and wrapped her arms around Rebecca. “I am so, so happy you are here.”
Rebecca hesitated for a moment before returning her embrace, holding Emma close as she cried at length, and murmuring some words of reassurance. Rebecca was patient with Emma until her tears were spent, and a few minutes later Emma drew in a shaky breath and sat up straight, wiping at her face even as she continued sniffling. “Forgive me, I – I did not quite expect that I should be so very….”
“Think nothing of it, my dear. I take it you are pleased with my intentions?”
Emma nodded emphatically. “I had no idea it bothered me so very much, but you are right. I do not like being forced to look after the children, and I have been obliged to think that I am a very wicked creature for balking so very much at the burden of it, but it is true. I wish some time to myself, to get past this terrible grief I feel, but I have had scarcely a minute to myself to mourn. I wish to move past it, I must, but how can I do so when I am always putting on a brave face for everyone else around me?”
