Goodbye Love (Kendawyn Paranormal Regency)

by Auburn Seal

  His hands clenched behind his own back, he willed himself to stay where he was and wait for her answer. Even though he already knew that her answer would kill him, that it would leave him an emotional wasteland. He had never felt this strongly for anyone and did not understand how he could be falling for her so quickly, so devastatingly hard. Even with his dreams, this made no sense. But how and why mattered not, because she was going to leave Kendawyn.

  His fear was confirmed when she nodded. “I appreciate your kindness. Thank you for your help. How can I get home?”

  He looked at her hair, wild and beautiful, and refused to touch her. “When you are presentable, you will join me in the parlor where I will introduce you to the mage. He can teach you enough magic to open a portal that will transport you home to your world.”

  He turned sharply on his heel and walked away, unable to be so near to her and still maintain any semblance of self-control. His body struggled between rage and despair.

  “Okay.”

  Her voice was tiny and small, barely audible even to him. But her agreement to see him again—even under these circumstances—caused his heart to soar. Then the thought of her leaving dampened his enthusiasm.

  You are a fool, Philip Daventry.

  Numb from the rapid pace of the unfolding events, she allowed Miss Armstrong to lead her to the parlor where Philip would introduce her to someone who could help her.

  A robed man with long white hair stood in front of the fireplace, his back to them, warming his hands.

  “Your Grace,” Miss Armstrong spoke. “I would present Miss Grace Carson.”

  Philip approached her as the mage turned to meet her.

  “Grace,” Philip said. “This is Charles Ashbourne. He will help you return home.”

  His wrinkled face and white hair made him appear to be quite old, but his crystal blue eyes sparkled and were alert.

  When Philip introduced them, Charles took both of Grace’s hands into his and kissed her fingertips.

  “It is lovely to meet you, Miss Carson. The Duke has told me much about you.”

  The mage brought her wrist to his mouth and kissed it, discreetly smelling her and then dipped his head in a subtle nod at Philip before he turned back to the fireplace where he continued to warm his hands.

  She was certain that whatever look had passed between the Duke and the mage was full of meaning that she did not understand. She looked to Philip and raised her eyebrow in question.

  He smiled at her and held up a finger as if telling her to wait. This irritated her immensely.

  “Well? You said you could help me get home.”

  She wasn’t certain to whom the statement was directed, but it was the mage who answered her.

  “Yes. You should be able to learn the portal spell quite quickly, I should think. I can sense your innate powers are strong. Without the entire collection of tests it is impossible to give you many specifics, but you are definitely powerful enough. And you wish to return home urgently, yes?”

  Grace nodded. “Yes, sir. Um, I mean, please. I would like to go home immediately.”

  “Yes, I am sure you must. It will take some time, though. For you to learn both the spell to open the portal and the locator spell. Just how long it will take depends entirely on you. But first you must learn how to harness your magic and direct it to a specific purpose.”

  “Harness my magic? You must be joking? I didn’t even know magic was a thing—like actually real—until, well, right now. And you want me to just learn magic and use it? Just like that?”

  The old man chuckled. “Yes, actually. That is exactly what I am suggesting. You have a gift of powerful magic. If you concentrate and focus, then I believe you can learn what you need quickly. You wish to return to your world, right? Your own magic brought you here. It can certainly take you home again.”

  A long pause hung in the air while Grace considered his words. The image of Gillian’s face flashed in her mind and she knew she had no choice but to try.

  Impatient, Grace nodded. “Yes. Okay. I understand. What do I need to do?”

  “Come and sit with me, here, by the fire. It is cold outside.”

  She walked over and sat down.

  The mage spoke to Philip. “I expect we will be here for some time.”

  Grace watched as Philip nodded and then called for service.

  “Please bring us a cart of tea and cakes, Miss Clayton.”

  The very tidy, stoic old woman nodded. “Yes, sir.”

  She didn’t appear to think it at all strange that the Duke was requesting tea at this early morning hour.

  The mage was talking and she drug her eyes away from Philip and tried to focus on what Charles was saying. This was important. This was the only way to get back to Gillian. And home.

  Of course, Philip wouldn’t be there. And his kiss was definitely something she would miss.

  Focus, Grace.

  The mage’s soothing voice droned on without much variation in his tone.

  “So you see. Without the school to train you, it will be a bit more difficult to learn, but I can teach you.”

  “Okay. What do I do first?” Grace asked, anxious to get on with it.

  “I want you to focus on the flame burning in the fireplace. Do you see it?”

  Grace nodded, exasperated. Of course she saw it. She had eyes.

  “I see it.”

  “Now, I want you to look only at the flame and block out everything else from your view. Concentrate on the flame.”

  Grace focused on the flame, intentionally blurring out the images on the edge of her vision so that only the flame held her attention. She felt a warm glow travel up her spine. Her body felt alive, as though she could feel electric impulses traveling from her brain to her fingertips.

  The mage spoke softly. “Excellent. You are a fast learner. I can see the glow of magic around you. Do you feel it?”

  Grace nodded, careful to maintain her focus. “Yes. I can feel this…energy. All through my body. Even in my fingers. It’s incredible.”

  “Yes. Very good. You are letting the power in, tapping into the source of all magic. Now, I would like you to channel the energy that you feel in your fingertips into the fire. Make the fire bigger, hotter. Just visualize the energy in your body traveling through the air and into the fire. Then imagine the fire being bigger in your mind.”

  Grace ground her teeth together in concentration as she visualized the energy as a blue light and watched it slide through the air from her fingertips into the fire.

  She started to doubt herself. What am I doing? This is crazy. I’m a school teacher. I don’t know how to do magic!

  As she lost her focus, the light that connected her fingers to the fire drifted away from the flames and then back into her fingertips. Suddenly, the energy that had filled her body, making her feel and sense everything so acutely, vanished. It was just gone. The warm glow that filled her body was missing and in its place was a void that left her feeling empty. Alone.

  “Where did it go? What happened?”

  The old mage smiled at her. “You lost your focus. You must concentrate. Your magic is quite powerful for you to be able to access it so quickly, but as you have learned, it will evaporate just as quickly if you do not master the ability to hold it tightly in your grasp. You must wield it as though it were a part of you. Like it was your hand or a finger. Your magic is simply an extension of you. Now try it again.”

  Grace gritted her teeth and focused on the flame, feeling the glow of the magic enter her body. There it was. The joy and the warmth. She felt alive again. And then it was gone again. Winked out. She couldn’t hold it.

  “What…I don’t understand. I had it, then it was gone.” She ached to pull the magic back in to her, to fill her. The feeling of magic engulfing her was glorious. Surprising and new, yet if felt as though she’d been accessing magic her whole life.

  The mage nodded. “Yes. You lost your focus again.”

  Grace no
dded and took a deep breath. She needed more of it, wanted to touch the magic again. “Okay. Let me try again.”

  She summoned the power more quickly this time, fixated on the flame for only a brief moment before she felt the power surge through her. Instead of focusing on the beauty of the power coursing through her, this time she concentrated on holding it. On drawing it from her center and toward her fingertips. Then she pushed the energy outward toward the fire and the blue light met with the flames and turned the flames blue. She was sweating now and short of breath. Slowly, the blue flames in the fireplace grew larger. Larger and larger until the flames filled the entire space.

  “Now, put the fire out, Grace.”

  “I don’t know how,” she panted, feeling breathless. Holding this much energy was taxing her.

  “Relax your shoulders, visualize the energy leaving the fire and flowing back into your body.”

  The fire flickered and shrunk just a bit.

  “Yes. That is it. Now more.”

  She felt a drop of sweat trickle down her face, next to her hairline, as she concentrated on drawing the energy out of the flames. As she pulled the energy toward herself, she felt gradually warmer until her center was bursting with heat. It was beautiful and exquisite. Complete. She felt whole and fulfilled when she never even realized this had been missing from her life. Then all the power disappeared and left her feeling empty again. The energy within her was gone. She blinked and noticed that the fire that had been raging only minutes before was completely extinguished.

  Her knees buckled and Philip caught her before she hit the ground.

  “I’m so tired.” Her voice sounded weak in her own ears.

  She heard the mage say, “That is incredible. So quickly she learned. And she is so strong. I have never seen anyone grasp the power so quickly and harness it, control it. Phenomenal.”

  “Yes, yes. Amazing.” Philip’s voice was tense. He sounded worried. “She has had quite enough, Charles. She needs to rest.”

  Grace drifted out of consciousness, aware of only the heat from his body and beautiful strength of Philip’s arms as he carried her up the stairs.

  Philip sat by Grace’s bedside all day until she finally woke just as the sun was setting. He knew this was the last day he would ever spend with his true love. And the day had been well spent. Watching her sleep, listening to her breathe. She was beautiful. She was everything he had ever dreamed of for his life partner. And yet he had always refused to have a partner. Maybe there was a part of him that had always known that he was not fated to be with the one that would complete him, that would fulfill his every need.

  He would find a way to deal with the loss of her once she was gone, but until then he would drink in the sight of her. Commit the smell of her to memory. Relish in the brief taste he had had of her. That taste that would have to last him the rest of his days. Because tonight when she woke, he would take her to Charles who would guide her through opening the portal and the locator spell. She would leave Kendawyn forever, never remembering that she had been here.

  But he would never forget her. He wondered if he would be able to resist checking in on her once she had traveled back to her own time and place. Then he forced himself to not think about the future and what it would bring, but instead on the woman here in front of him. She slept soundly but she was here. He had only met her yesterday, and already he was irrevocably changed by her.

  But he could not keep her here. Would not. She already suspected that he had brought her here against her will. He had done no such thing. The Tyro were brought here only by their own personal desperate need, but he could see the doubt in her eyes. He would never force her to stay with him. Not without her sister. She would never be happy here, with him, as long as her sister’s fate remained a mystery. He would go and find her himself, but he was bound by the Council’s rules. Never intervening with a mortal’s life. The penalty was harsh for those who chose to interfere with what transpired on the other side.

  He would risk it, of course, for the chance to be with her. But Philip would never willingly put Grace in the position of being in the crosshairs of the Council. Her punishment would be great. She would be banished from the kingdom forever, never allowed to return, which of course defeated the very purpose of his interfering with the events on the other side. Leaving Kendawyn was the one thing he could not do—not even for Grace. They could not be together.

  So he waited by her bedside, not daring to touch her fearing his own lack of restraint, but instead opted to just watch her sleep and watch the rhythmic rise and fall of her breath in her chest.

  She woke disoriented, and he wanted to lift her up and carry her away with him forever. But he did not. He locked up his sorrow, knowing there would be a time when he must deal with the loss of her. But it would be after she was gone. Not now. Right now each moment was too precious.

  “How long have I been out?”

  Her voice was groggy and thick from sleep.

  “Most of the day.” He dared to reach out and tuck a strand of her fire-red hair behind her ear. He let his hand linger on her cheek. When she blushed, he nearly lost control of himself, but instead withdrew his hand, clenching it into a fist by his side. Not again. Not tonight. He would not let his last memories with her be filled images of his lack of control. He would send her out of Kendawyn with the respect and dignity that she deserved.

  “You used quite a bit of your strength dampening the fire. You are strong, but new to magic so you tired quickly.”

  He handed her a glass of water and she drank eagerly.

  “Thank you,” she said and handed the glass back. “It felt so—amazing. When I’m filled with the energy, I feel alive. More alive than I’ve felt before. I don’t really understand. This is all just so—” She shook her head, thinking once again of Gillian. “Will he teach me the spell now? To open the portal? Now that I know how to tap into the energy, I can go home to my sister, right?”

  Philip nodded, refusing to let the sorrow show in his eyes.

  “Of course. I will call Miss Armstrong right away and she will assist you in dressing. Come down to the parlor when you are ready. Charles will be expecting you. If all goes well, you will be reunited with your sister this very night.”

  “Philip?”

  “Yes, Miss Carson?”

  “I, uh, just wanted to say thank you. For helping me.”

  He swallowed the lump in his throat and forced down the emotion that was threatening to spill over. “You are most welcome.” He nodded his head. “If you will excuse me, I will be entertaining Charles in the parlor until you are ready to join us.”

  When he arrived in the parlor, Charles Ashbourne was already waiting for him.

  “I was just getting ready to send for you.”

  “I assumed we would get started as soon as the sun went down. Was I mistaken?”

  Philip rubbed his temples trying to force back the headache that loomed just behind his eyes. “No. You are correct. Grace will joining us shortly.”

  The mage nodded and continued to stare knowingly at Philip, making Philip quite nervous.

  “What, Mage? What do you want?” Philip’s voice was harsher than he intended. Charles was only doing what he had been asked.

  “I wondered if you told her yet? If you plan on telling her at all?”

  Philip shook his head and wandered over to the fireplace, remembering the image of Grace manipulating the flames so expertly only hours before.

  “Tell her what, Mage? That she is the person I have been waiting for my entire life? The one I have seen visions of in my dreams? That I knew the moment I saw her that she would be mine? No. I will not tell her that. There is no point to it. She has made her decision. And it is the correct one. She must seek her sister.”

  “But she will forget you.”

  Philip grimaced. “I know quite well how this works, Mage.” He cringed inside at the acid in his voice.

  “You do not believe she deserves to know
that you two are fated to be together? And that if she leaves Kendawyn she will forget you entirely? It is her fate, too. Does she not deserve to know what she is sacrificing?”

  “No,” Philip whirled around angrily. “She does not need to know. She is under enough pressure as it is. Think of all she has had to process over the last several hours. I will not give her one more concern to ponder. It is irrelevant. She must go to find her sister. I will not stand in her way. It matters not that we are fated. Perhaps…perhaps she will find her way back. Or perhaps this was all I was ever meant to have of her.”

  “You know she will not return, Your Grace. The probability that she comes back here is…small. That is being quite generous. And you know this.”

  “Yes, Mage. I know quite well what I am losing. That does not change my mind. When she arrives, you will help her summon the portal. And you will not mention one word of this. Are we clear?”

  The mage bowed graciously, his mocking eyes flashing mischievously as he glanced behind Philip.

  “Of course not. Not a word.”

  “You won’t mention what to me, Charles?” Grace’s voice caught Philip by surprise.

  Philip crossed the room and took Grace’s arm in his and led her to the sofa. “Nothing, Miss Carson. It is nothing for you to concern yourself with.”

  “Please, tell me. You have done so much to help me return to my sister. And I’m afraid I have been less than gracious. If there is something I can do to repay you, I would be honored.”

  Philip shook his head. “No. There is nothing.”

  He could see confusion in her eyes. That flash of distrust was there again. He sighed. He had sworn to himself he would not lie to her again.

  They sat on the sofa and he took her hands in his and rubbed her hand softly with his thumb.

  “I have never lied to you, therefore I do not suppose I should begin now.”

  “Quite true,” the mage chimed in.

  Philip turned and glared angrily at the mage. “Would you please give us a moment, Mage?”

  “But of course,” the mage smiled on his way out, closing the door behind him.