by Irene Latham
“Her name’s Ludelphia,” Mrs. Nelson said, her voice gentle. “Her mama’s real sick, and she’s come all the way from Gee’s Bend to fetch you.” Mrs. Nelson shook her head and lifted her eyebrows as she said it.
This was when he was gonna tell me no. But I couldn’t let him. I wasn’t gonna give him the chance.
I stood up and braced my legs the way Delilah does when she sees Daddy getting out the harness. Didn’t matter what Mrs. Nelson said before. I was ready to fight if that’s what it took.
“Doc Nelson,” I said, ignoring the urge to scratch under my eye patch, “I need you to come back with me to Gee’s Bend. Don’t you tell me you can’t.”
The doctor chuckled. “Well, first you got to tell me what the problem is. What exactly is wrong with your mama?”
“First it was just a cough. But soon as the baby came, everything got worse.” I swallowed. “When I left, she couldn’t hardly breathe and she was coughing up blood.”
The doctor’s mouth settled into a straight line. “And the baby?”
“Rose? Ain’t a thing wrong with her. Was taking milk from a washcloth when I left.”
“Good, good.” Doc Nelson flashed his dimple, then his face got serious again. “If I was guessing, I’d say your mama’s got pneumonia. You heard of pneumonia?” When I nodded, he went on. “It’s real hard to treat. Doctors have been working on making some new medicine.” His voice got real soft. “But it’s not ready yet, Ludelphia. I’m sorry, but the best thing for her is rest. Rest and soup and anything you can do to make her breathing easier.”
If he’d stabbed me it would have hurt less than hearing those awful words again. Those words that meant Aunt Doshie was right, Mrs. Nelson was right, and leaving Gee’s Bend hadn’t been nothing but a waste of time.
I wanted to scream, but my voice came out in a whimper. “Please, Doc Nelson. Just come to Gee’s Bend. Just come and look in on Mama and say for sure.”
Doc Nelson sighed then. It was one of them sighs I’d heard from Daddy so many times. I knew now it was the sound of giving up. “I can’t do that, Ludelphia. Much as I’d like to help your mama, I can’t just leave. Not with three babies due any day and no other doctor for miles.”
It was like my heart fell right out of my chest and Doc Nelson had just stomped on it with both feet.
“But what about Mama?” I looked from one to the other. “She might die if you don’t come. That’s the reason I came all this way to get you.”
Doc Nelson reached for my hand, but I pulled away. “I promise to come just as soon as I can, Ludelphia. Just as soon as the ferry’s up and running again and I can get another doctor to be here for my patients.”
I was so mad I couldn’t speak. It was like the tears had burned a hole in the back of my throat. Doc Nelson was just doing his job. But it didn’t change the fact that I had come all this way for nothing. And no one seemed to understand about Mama. How serious it was and how it was up to me to make it right.
The room was silent except for my tears. I swiped them away as fast as I could. Crying never helped nothing neither.
“Mrs. Cobb!” Doc Nelson said when someone from the other room pushed open the door.
At the sound of her name my shoulders tightened and I shrank back toward the wall.
Doc Nelson stood between me and Mrs. Cobb. “Haven’t seen you since the funeral,” he said. “Everything okay?”
With Doc Nelson blocking my view, I couldn’t see nothing of Mrs. Cobb except her skirt and her hands. They was gripping that shotgun so hard her fingers was turning red. Didn’t Mrs. Cobb ever go noplace without that thing?
“I just came over to collect Ludelphia,” Mrs. Cobb said. “Thought I’d take her home with me tonight.”
Mrs. Nelson threw her arm over my shoulders like she was a hen and I was her chick. But it still didn’t stop me from shaking.
Doc Nelson scratched his head, then spoke in a low voice. “You sure that’s a good idea, Mrs. Cobb? Now, I know it’s been a difficult time since Mr. Cobb passed. Don’t make sense for you to have to look after the girl at a time like this.”
Mrs. Nelson squeezed my shoulder. “Listen to the doctor, Mrs. Cobb. I’m sure Ludelphia’s family is worried sick about her. She needs to get on back to Gee’s Bend.”
Mrs. Cobb’s eyes got small and beady. “You just don’t know who you’re dealing with, do you? I’m here to tell you Ludelphia Bennett is a—” Mrs. Cobb stopped herself before she finished the sentence. She tightened her grip on the barrel of the shotgun. “Hmmm,” she said, looking from the doctor to his wife.
When she spoke again, her voice had turned to syrup. “Now, you know well as I do it’s a good forty miles to Gee’s Bend by road. Too late in the day for Ludelphia to get back before it turns dark.”
She was right. My legs got all wobbly like they was gonna fall out from under me. Wasn’t no way for me to get back home till tomorrow. Not with the ferry lost someplace downstream. Dear Lord, why did Gee’s Bend have to be so hard to get to?
My head got light then and I had to grab hold of Mrs. Nelson’s middle to keep myself up. Wasn’t no way I was gonna go with Mrs. Cobb. I’d take off running before I’d get back in that motorcar with her.
Mrs. Nelson pulled me to her, and I felt myself sink into her side. “I think we’ll just keep her here with us, Mrs. Cobb. No need for you to trouble yourself. Especially after everything that’s happened today.”
How could I be mad when she and the doctor was trying so hard to keep me safe? I stayed close as Mrs. Nelson reached out and placed her freckled hand on top of Mrs. Cobb’s plain one. “I am so sorry for your loss, Mrs. Cobb. Especially coming so soon after little Sarah’s passing. If there’s anything I can do, anything at all, you just let me know.”
Mrs. Cobb’s snatched her hand away from Mrs. Nelson and focused her attention on me.
“You listen to me, girl.” Mrs. Cobb shook her finger not two inches from my nose. “Mr. Cobb said for me to ‘take care of the folks in Gee’s Bend.’ For years I’ve been telling him to cut you loose, that Gee’s Bend ain’t worth all the trouble. Don’t you see? That’s what killed him. Looking after all you sharecroppers and the store too.”
She stopped to catch her breath, then started again. “How many times did I beg him to let you go? But no, he said. He said we got to take care of you. Well, not anymore. I got no use for you folks in Gee’s Bend. I’m done.”
Mrs. Cobb rubbed her eye with her fist. “Because of you witches I don’t have no one now. No one at all.”
Doc Nelson interrupted her then. “Go on now, Mrs. Cobb.” His voice was quiet but firm, like he was talking to a small child. “You don’t even know what you’re saying. So much has happened. You need to go on home now and get some rest.” The doctor took her arm and guided her toward the door.
This time she turned to go with no trouble at all. Her shoulders slumped forward and her head hung low. Doc Nelson opened the door, and I held my breath as I watched one big boot step through the doorway, then the other. I was just letting my breath out when she swung back around and drilled her eyes right into mine.
“I’ve seen the ledgers,” she said, her lips curling into a snarl. “I know Mr. Cobb loaned you folks way more than you’ve been able to pay back.” She tapped the barrel of the shotgun on the floor. “Not enough cotton in the whole state of Alabama to make good on those debts.”
She blew her breath through her nose, then her voice turned to poison. “I’m coming to collect.” She shook her finger in the air. “I’m coming to Gee’s Bend, and I’m taking everything you got. Everything that belongs to me. Then you’ll know what it feels like to have nothing.”
As Mrs. Cobb stalked out of the room, her skirt swirled around them boots. My mind swirled too, and it was like I wasn’t even in the doctor’s office no more.
Instead I was at home surrounded by the papered walls of the cabin. Wasn’t really the walls that stood out, it was the blue flowers and bright ora
nge trim on Mama’s Housetop quilt. It was the same quilt I’d used to catch Rose when she was being born. And it was the same quilt Mama liked to spread on the cabin floor after supper for telling stories.
As them colors streamed through my mind, I remembered the most terrible story of all, the one Mama said showed how the devil lives in some folks.
“Long before you or me was here,” Mama always said, “and even before my mama and her mama was here, Big Mama lived in Africa.”
Then she told the story about how Big Mama was captured while she was sleeping, and put in chains. How they marched for days all across Africa before they got to the coast. How the white men put them in pens like they was cows waiting for slaughter.
When Big Mama saw the ship come into the harbor with its red flags flying and its red ribbons tied to the railing, she screamed for her sisters that was left behind. She didn’t know where that ship was going, but she knew it wasn’t noplace she wanted to go. But wasn’t no way she could have imagined America or how awful the trip would be.
For weeks Big Mama sat chained in the dark belly of the ship, her body crammed against other bodies that was naked and sick and starving. Mama always said it was them red flags that kept Big Mama from dying on that ship. She just blocked out everything else that was happening, the stench and the screaming and the sickness, and kept her mind on them flags flapping in the wind. She decided she was gonna breathe fresh air again and see an open sky and feel warm sunshine on her cheeks. Wasn’t nobody gonna take that from her.
Sitting there on the floor of Doc Nelson’s office with all them colors from Mama’s quilt bouncing around in my head, I understood for the first time it wasn’t the red flags that saved Big Mama’s life. It wasn’t something as plain as pieces of red cloth. It was something inside Big Mama, something strong and stubborn. It was about not giving up, no matter what.
I couldn’t understand why Mrs. Cobb would want to hurt me or nobody else in Gee’s Bend. But I reckon some things just can’t be understood. And if Big Mama could live through all that happened on that ship, I could live through whatever happened next.
Doctor or no doctor, quilt or no quilt, wasn’t no time for me to give up. No, now was the time for me to get myself home. So I could help Mama. So I could warn all of Gee’s Bend about Mrs. Cobb coming to collect.
A Needle and a Spool of Thread
AS MRS. NELSON FINISHED UP WITH THE RED CROSS drive, Doc Nelson sat with me in the little room.
“Don’t you worry about Mrs. Cobb,” he said. “Once she sleeps on it she’ll see what a bad idea it is to go Gee’s Bend.” Then he smiled just enough for the dimple to show.
I rubbed the back of my neck and moved my head from side to side. I wanted so much to believe what he said. But I just couldn’t. Not after all I’d seen.
Doc Nelson checked the time on his watch. “Eleven o’clock already?” He ran his hand through his hair like he was worn out. “Ludelphia, I’ve got to go check in on Mrs. Cook. Amos came by and said little Annie’s throat is so sore she’s stopped eating.” He looked at his watch again. “You’ll be okay till Evelyn gets done?”
I nodded and Doc Nelson scooted out the door. Once he was gone, I walked around the hard wood table that was in the center of the room.There was a little pillow on one side, I reckon for putting your head. Was that the table I’d have lain on if Mama and Daddy had brought me to Doc Nelson after the eye accident? Is that the table where Mama would lay if she was here?
I propped my elbows on the table and let my face rest in my hands. Oh, Mama. I’m sorry I’ve gone and made such a mess of things. You just got to hang on till I get back. Then everything will be different. I won’t sass you no more. I’ll do just what you tell me, even if it means wearing this stupid old eye patch for the rest of my life. I just want to be home with our whole family in one room.
I jumped when the door cracked open. “Thank you for coming!” Mrs. Nelson’s voice called. “See you next week! Good-bye!” She flashed me a smile. “How ’bout that? Got more donations than ever! Over three thousand chapters of the Red Cross all across the country, but every year ours is one of the most generous.”
“That mean you’ll be able to help lots of folks?”
“That’s right. Never know when a drought will settle in or when a tornado will come ripping through. Soon as the Red Cross hears about it, they send food and clothing and tools for rebuilding or replanting or whatever else it is that’s needed.” Mrs. Nelson sighed and put her arm around my shoulders. “You should see some of the letters folks write! It would break your heart for sure.”
I bit my lip. “Folks write letters telling about their troubles and the Red Cross sends help?”
“That’s right. Whenever something comes along that folks can’t handle themselves.”
“I ain’t never heard of such a thing, Mrs. Nelson.”
Mrs. Nelson squeezed my shoulder. “Everybody needs help from time to time.”
Wasn’t no doubt about that. And right now was one of those times.
I leaned my head against her arm. “Mrs. Nelson, it’s time for me to go home. I’ve got to get back to Mama and baby Rose. I’ve got to warn ’em about Mrs. Cobb.”
Mrs. Nelson pulled me closer to her. “I can’t let you go, darlin’. You walking alone and night coming on? It wouldn’t be safe. And I can’t think of a soul who’d be willing to take you this late in the day. No, it would be best for you to wait till tomorrow.” She patted my cheek. “But don’t you worry, we’ll figure something out. We’ll get you home just as soon as we can.”
I wiggled away from her. “But, Mrs. Nelson! I got to get back there. I got to get back to my mama.”
“Darlin’, I know you’re missing your mama.” Mrs. Nelson ran her hand along my arm. Then she looked at me hard, the way Mama did when I forgot to put on my eye patch. I reached up to make sure it was still there. “But you got to think it through. What would your mama and daddy say if I just turned you loose right now?”
I slumped again into the chair and balled the blue handkerchief in my hand. Mrs. Nelson was right. Wasn’t nothing for me to do but wait till morning came. And me without my quilting things to help pass the time.
“Come on, now,” Mrs. Nelson said. “You can help me.”
I followed her through the door to the waiting room. Was it really the same room I came through earlier? Now that it was empty, it looked completely different. I hadn’t even noticed how there was chairs lined up all along the walls when the room was full of them ladies.
I liked the way the Red Cross poster seemed to stand guard over the place. Like that angel was watching everything that happened.
By the time Doc Nelson got back, it was late afternoon and the waiting room was filled with all sorts of folks needing help. Mrs. Nelson said that’s the way it happened most times. Nothing to do for hours, then they’d all come in at once.
The blacksmith came in with a gash in his leg that needed stitching. He had white skin except for his hands. His fingers was almost all black, I reckon from working with fire so much. “Did a horse get you in the eye?” he said to me while Mrs. Nelson was fetching him a clean towel to press against the cut.
I took the chair beside him. “Nossir. Ain’t got no horses. Just a mule named Delilah.”
The blacksmith nodded. “I’d take a good mule over a bad horse any day.”
Next, a white lady came in with a little boy in her arms that was whimpering and holding his ears. They sat in the far corner, clear across the room from me.
The poor mama looked about as bad off as he did, the way them dark circles was shadowing her eyes. I started to make silly faces like Etta Mae always done to distract me when I was sick, but Mrs. Nelson called me to her. “Probably best if you stay close to me, Ludelphia. Some folks won’t know what to make of you.”
So I followed Mrs. Nelson as she moved from patient to patient, chatting about how cold the winter might be and asking after the patients’ husbands and wives and
children. Wasn’t nobody in that room she didn’t know.
It was just like being at Pleasant Grove Baptist Church on a Sunday morning after the singing and sermon was done. Except I was the only one that was colored in the whole place. All the other folks that came into the doctor’s office was white.
“Mrs. Nelson,” I said, “is the white folks the only ones that get sick in Camden?”
Mrs. Nelson took my hand in her freckled one. “There’s a separate waiting room in the back for colored folks. But not many of ’em come here. There’s a colored doctor over in Selma that comes to town from time to time. Doc Nelson says that’s who they go to most times when they get sick.”
I didn’t know what to think about that. Mostly it just made me miss Daddy and Ruben. And Mama, of course. I just wanted to go home, where things made more sense.
How long before Daddy would come after me? Wasn’t likely that he’d be willing to move from Mama’s side. Least not while she was still alive.
I stroked the blue handkerchief with my thumb. Daddy might not be able to come after me, but I bet he’d send somebody. Could be there was somebody on the way to fetch me right this very minute.
Unless—unless Mama didn’t make it. I folded the worn blue cloth, then folded it again till it was as small as I could make it.
What would happen to Rose if Mama didn’t get better? Who would teach her all the things she needed to know? I tried to get a picture of Rose in my mind, but it wouldn’t come. There was the shape of a baby, but the face was blurred.
I shook my head hard. I just had to get through the rest of the day and night. Then I could get back to Gee’s Bend where I belonged.
Patients came and went until there was just two left. Doc Nelson was working so hard I ain’t even seen him since he got back. Mrs. Nelson shuffled some paper around on the top of the desk, then sat down with a sigh. “How are you holding up?”
