“We are not doing this now.”
She body slammed him against the wall and charged toward the stairs. Without thought, he grabbed her at the waist and swung her around. “I said, don’t walk away from me.”
Everything in him told him to let her go and not push any further, but his hands had a mind of their own. As they glared at each other, Mac couldn’t miss the hurt in her eyes.
“Where did you get the idea I hate everything about you?”
She took a step back and he moved in closer. One more move and she would be stuck between him and the wall. “Please answer my question.”
“No. I’ve answered enough questions today. Move.”
He eased still closer. “It’s against the law to strike a federal officer.”
“The law doesn’t apply to a dead woman, moron.”
Mac couldn’t help letting out a hard laugh. Spunky, that was how he always pictured the woman in front of him, and she had it in spades.
“I’m waiting. It is past time we cleared up a few things between us.” He planted his hands on the wall behind her. The hint of lemon and some spicy floral scent assailed his senses. He still didn’t touch her, but she wasn’t going anywhere. He leaned in toward her. “Talk to me.”
“Back off first.”
He inched closer. At this distance, he could almost hear the pulse of her heart rushing through her veins. His breaths grew shallow and shaky. “I don’t hate anything about you, Lexie Trevena. Not a damn thing.”
Mac’s lips brushed against the tender skin right below her left ear. That simple contact aroused his senses and left him wide open for a well-placed knee. But instead of losing a vital part of his anatomy, she swallowed and a single tear broke from the corner of her eye and rolled down her cheek.
“Lexie, don’t do that.”
“Why wasn’t I good enough for Rico?
The question hit hard. “What are you talking about?”
“Forget it … it doesn’t matter anyway.”
“Like hell it doesn’t matter. Where did you get the idea you were not good enough for Rico?”
“Moments before Rico and I were to walk down the aisle, you told him he shouldn’t marry me …”
“How …?”
“The walls between the rooms at the church were thin.” A weak fist struck his chest. “You didn’t even know me. What did I do … what did I say to make you dislike me so much?”
Mac cupped her face. “No, you misunderstood. Damn it, Lexie, Rico wasn’t good enough for you. Not the other way around.”
“I loved him and you were asking him to leave me at the altar.”
“I knew Rico. I didn’t want him to hurt you.”
“So you were going to hurt me first?”
“Rico wasn’t a bad man, but he would have never settled down and become the husband you deserved.”
Lexie’s eyes changed―from hurt to anger then disbelief. Mac had seconds to decide if he would openly lie to her. It was past time she knew everything, but damn it, he didn’t want to tell her after the day she had. “There are things you need to know.”
Her body trembled as she shook her head slowly back and forth. “Rico loved me.”
“Yes, in his own way he did, and he wanted your marriage to work.”
Again the room grew still, but this time, an icy current settled over both of them.
“You didn’t ask him to go undercover, did you?” Lexie shut her eyes tightly and covered her face with her hands. “It was his idea all along, wasn’t it?” Gut-wrenching pain edged into her voice. “Why—”
“Why did he volunteer for the damn assignment? I don’t know. He went over my head to Díaz and pitched the op to infiltrate the Réinanos cartel. He dragged Jason with him. I wanted to pound him to pulp.”
Lexie seemed to close in on herself. Her head dropped to his chest and her body shook with sobs. Mac wrapped his arms around her waist and held her against him. It shocked the hell out of him that each tear seemed to sear through his heart. She treated him like shit most of the time and had been nothing but a pain in his ass from day one.
“It wasn’t you, Lexie. It was just who Rico was.” Mac kissed away the salty moisture down her cheek. “There’s not a damn thing wrong with you. You’re beautiful, sexy as hell, loving, and honest to the core. He should have treated you better.”
Hating what the memories were doing to both of them, he did the only thing he could think of to shatter the pain. He lowered his head until his lips just touched hers. When she didn’t pull away, he gently caressed her lower lip. Hot, explosive jolts charged through him, and he captured her mouth as his need took charge. His fingers wove their way under her braid as their bodies pressed together against the wall.
She tasted of ripe oranges—sweet, tangy; just like her. Every muscle, every cell screamed for more of everything. Lexie didn’t have a timid bone in her body and matched his need with her own.
Lifting her against him, he deepened the kiss, aching to allow his hands to roam. He had to know the soft, silky feel of her skin. He inched his hand under her T-shirt. Her breath hitched the second his hand brushed over her stomach.
“Yo, Lexie, what’s a graffie—?”
Jason hollered from the top of the stairs. An instant later, he barged into the family room with Gabriel in his arms and came to an abrupt stop. “Shit, sorry.”
Mac dropped his hands and stepped back. A deep blush raced up Lexie’s neck into her cheeks as she turned away from him and reached for her son.
“Giraffe. Gabriel has a favorite book and stuffed animal.” She cradled him close to her. “He has trouble sleeping without it.”
“Oh, crap,” Jason said, and headed into the foyer. “I asked your friend Cole to pack up a few things for Gabriel when I picked him up.”
He lifted a big grocery bag off the floor by the door and carried it back into the family room. Gabriel took one glance at the bag and squirmed out of Lexie’s arms. Once his feet hit the floor, he pulled the bag down and yanked out a book and the same stuffed animal Mac had seen at the bank.
Jason knelt down. “So that’s Graffie? Why don’t we go read it together so your mom and Mac can continue discovering why they bug each other?”
“Keep it up, bro, and I’ll be doing the pounding,” Mac muttered between his teeth.
Jason let out a loud laugh and picked up Gabriel. Mac pinned his hand to his side to keep from sending a fist into his brother’s face. Lucky for Jason he held a toddler in his arms.
Jason lowered Gabriel so Lexie could give him a kiss on the cheek before he left the room as quickly as he’d appeared.
It was smooth how Lexie had managed to place a table between them during the interlude. “Don’t allow Jason’s teasing to—”
“I can’t do this, Mac.”
“Do what?”
Heaviness emerged between them. He had no trouble understanding what she meant. He’d just experienced the hottest kiss of his life and couldn’t accept that there weren’t going to be more. “It wasn’t just a kiss.”
“No, it wasn’t.” Her eyes were on everything but him. “I made a promise to Gabriel and I won’t break it.”
“What promise?”
Lexie’s upper teeth skimmed over her bottom lip. “My mom had boyfriends in and out of our home my whole childhood. It was … horrible. I promised Gabriel that first day I would never put him through that.”
Mac moved toward her but stopped when she took a step back. “This doesn’t have to be like that, Lexie. You can’t close yourself off …”
“For my son, I will do anything. He deserves that kind of love and devotion from his parent.”
Because it wasn’t what she received from hers. Mac didn’t know much about Lexie’s childhood, but there were deep, hidden scars there.
She headed around the opposite side of the table toward the stairwell. “About Rico, I’m sorry I treated you so badly. That’s going to be with me for awhile.” She paused, her expression
so intense it was as if she were trying to read his soul. “The day I stormed into your office, you should have been honest with me.”
Mac brushed a hand over the back of his neck. The tension in his shoulder muscles was killing him. “Maybe I should have. I promised Rico—”
“Just help me out of this mess with Ryan and you don’t owe Rico another damn thing.” She darted up the stairs.
Everything in him ached to charge up after her. What he would do when he caught her, he hadn’t a clue. That unforgettable kiss muddled his mind and his body throbbed like hell to have Lexie back against him. There was definitely something between them. He didn’t know what the hell to call it—lust, protectiveness, survivor guilt—but he wasn’t going to allow Lexie to ignore it or him.
Chapter Eleven
Bright sunlight seeped in through the blinds, spreading warmth over Lexie’s face. With her eyes still closed, she burrowed her head deeper into the pillow, drawing the soft, lavender-scented comforter over her shoulder. The treasured peacefulness of a moment ago slipped away, and the nightmare of yesterday took its place. Everything came back fast and hard.
Sitting up in the bed, she reached a hand out for Gabriel. Then the sound of a child’s laughter, followed by the smoky scent of frying bacon hit her senses. She threw back the comforter and slipped out of bed. Ten o’clock? How did she sleep past eight?
Without taking the time to run a brush through her hair, she charged downstairs. At the bottom step, she came to an abrupt stop. Mac sat on the floor, his long legs extending out under the coffee table in the family room. Gabriel sat on one of the sofa pillows next to him, singing along with his favorite Disney movie. Two bowls lay empty on the coffee table.
Mac must have sensed her because he turned toward her but said nothing. A flash of awareness jolted through her, making her feel things that should have been kept buried, even forgotten.
There was a time when the needs of her body took over all reason. If she had listened to her inner voice instead of her libido, she would have never married Rico and been hurt so badly. She would have seen right through him. Instead, Lexie fell heads over heels in lust with the man in her first bar at twenty-one. He was a badass FBI agent, and she was a wet-behind-the-ears engineering student in her third year of college. It wasn’t love at first sight because she had no idea what love was.
“You’re thinking too much.”
“Mommy, we were being quiet, and Mac likes marshmallows in his Cheerios, too.”
She made her feet move and joined her son on the floor. “What is a bowl of Cheerios without marshmallows? How long have you been awake?”
Mac cleared his throat as a sheepish look spread across his features. “I peeked in to check on you a half hour ago. Gabriel was sitting up in bed reading his book.”
“I was letting you sleep, Mommy.”
She gave her son a hug but kept her eyes on Mac. “Thank you, Gabriel. So, if there is bacon, why are you eating cereal?”
“Cereal is only an appetizer. My dad is making a big breakfast.”
Lexie swallowed a lump the size of Texas down her throat. “Your father is here?”
“Mom and Dad flew in last night. They hadn’t met their grandbabies until this morning.” He glanced through the kitchen arch. “Dad, this is Lexie.”
A man with the same build as Mac filled the doorway. Handsome. Lexie couldn’t help staring. Mac’s father was an older version of Jason, with the kindest eyes she had ever seen.
“Rico’s wife. Of course. I’m Thomas.” he said and held up a spatula. “I knew your husband. He was a good man and I miss him. Really sorry for your loss.”
For the first time in two years, those words didn’t make her cringe. She rose, strolled to the entry, and held out her hand. He put the spatula down and drew her into a hug instead.
Lexie couldn’t remember the last time she allowed a stranger this close to her, but Mac’s father wasn’t really a stranger. Rico had admired him and spoke of him often. Dropping her guard, Lexie wrapped her arms around Thomas and hugged him back. The feeling that hit her seconds later almost brought her to tears. This was what a father’s hug felt like. Her childhood dreams didn’t do it justice. While everything in her wanted to stay in the moment, she forced her hands down to her side and broke contact.
“I have the most beautiful granddaughter in the whole world,” a woman said behind her.
Mac’s mother. God, she must look a sight. Lexie ran a hand over her hair before she turned and planted a smile on her face. What was she thinking, coming downstairs in someone else’s home without changing first?
“You must be Lexie. I’m Mary McNeil.”
“Nice to meet you, Mrs. McNeil.” Lexie wasn’t sure how she got the words out of her mouth. It took only an instant to recognize that Mac’s mother wasn’t anything like hers. A kind warmth appeared in her expression as she glanced down at her granddaughter.
“Please call me Mary. I’ve wanted to meet you for some time. Rico was family.” She studied Lexie for an instant, then said, “Have you had a chance to meet Abigail?”
The smile Lexie gave the infant was from her heart. “We got to know each other quite well last night. I changed her and rocked her to sleep while Sarah nursed Jake.”
Gabriel approached and eyed the tiny infant. Lexie picked him up so he could see Abigail better. “This is my son, Gabriel.”
“Gabriel and I also met. He’s a real charmer.”
“Breakfast is on. Come and get it while it’s hot.” Thomas’s deep baritone voice filled the room.
Mary rolled her eyes. “Thomas, seriously. I have never been able to teach him to use his inside voice,” she confided to Lexie.
Mac moved to Lexie’s side and held a hand out to Gabriel. “It’s man eating time.”
Gabriel didn’t hesitate. He squirmed out of her arms and took Mac’s big hand in his. At the table, Mac placed a couple of large books on the seat and lifted Gabriel into place. It was like they were old friends. “Should I get Sarah and Jason?” he asked his mother.
“No, Sarah is nursing Jake, and Jason is in the shower. Eat.” She then nodded to Lexie. “Come sit next to me. I spend way too much time with men. Need a girl time.”
“I should go change first,” she murmured.
“You look great. Sit,” Mac’s father said and handed her a plate.
Her stomach rumbled, loudly. Four set of eyes stared at her. Thomas reached for the platter of eggs and gave her a bigger serving. She couldn’t help but laugh.
Mac’s phone buzzed on the counter. “That had better be Díaz with the okay for us to get back into the building.” He grabbed the cell on the third ring. “McNeil.”
Lexie’s stomach roiled as she fought to stay calm. She couldn’t go back into that building. Mac kept his voice low, but she could hear each short, harsh-sounding question. The muscles in his neck and shoulder tensed. He then pinned her with a stare. Her fork dropped to the table and she rose, her knees so weak, she grabbed onto the edge for balance. “What’s happened?”
He didn’t say anything. With the phone still at his ear, he took her hand and led her out of the room. Her silence lasted until Mac closed the door to the den.
“Mac, you’re freaking me out.”
He nodded toward the loveseat. After ending the call, he eased down next to her. “The agents covering Cole and Marcus didn’t call in. Someone was dispatched to make contact.” He paused as if he needed to find the right words.
“And?” A sense of dread overwhelmed her.
“One agent is dead. The other agent and Cole are on their way to the hospital. I don’t know anything about their conditions.”
“Oh God.” She swallowed the bile that churned into her throat. “And Marcus? What happened to Marcus?”
“The men who stormed the condo took Marcus with them. Lexie, that’s all I know.”
She began to pace. “I don’t understand. Who would do this? Ryan? Why?”
“Because you
r friends can ID him.” Mac blocked her path and drew her into his arms. She didn’t want to be held or comforted. Somehow this was her fault, but as much as she wanted to pull away, she couldn’t.
“I need to get to the hospital.”
“No. You need to get into a safe house.”
“I have to see Cole.” She leaned her head on his chest and whispered, “You don’t understand what Cole and Marcus mean to me.” She stepped out of his arms and headed toward the door. “Your family is wonderful. Cole and Marcus are my family, Gabriel’s family. If that were Jason, would you allow someone to shove you into a damn safe house?”
“Do you get that this bastard is out to destroy everyone in your life?”
“Am I under arrest?”
“What? No, damn it, you’re not under arrest.”
She knew she was being totally unreasonable. Mac was trying to protect her, and she was acting like a royal bitch, but she had to know Cole was okay. “Take me or I’ll find my own way there.”
“What about Gabriel? Do you plan to take him with you into whatever hell we don’t know about yet? The bastard killed one of my men, Lexie. This guy isn’t playing around.”
“We’ll take care of Gabriel.” Mary McNeil stood in the doorway. She reached out and placed her hand on Lexie’s arm. “I know we just met and trusting strangers with your child isn’t easy.”
“You’re not strangers. Rico cared a great deal for you, Mrs. McNeil.”
“I raised five hard-headed children. Your son will be a piece of cake. Thomas and I will not allow anything to happen to him.”
Lexie’s heart warmed and she placed her palm over Mrs. McNeil’s hand. “Thank you.”
“Damn it, Lexie. You are supposed to be dead. Think about this.”
“Mac, I’ll be down in three minutes. I’m seeing Cole with or without you, but I’m going.”
Chapter Twelve
The drive to Brackenridge Hospital took years from her life. All Mac knew was the agent was in surgery. There was no news on Cole. As they pulled in front of the hospital, Mac’s body tensed with unleashed anger, and this time around, she deserved that anger.
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