by RJ Jones
“You hungry yet?” Alex asked.
“No, you?”
“Nope. Let’s go over there. I want to hear more about the horses.” Alex led me toward one of the blankets, away from the crowd. We sat close together; not touching, each of us aware of the other’s personal space. But not too aware. Alex’s fingers brushed mine when he sat and I wrapped my pinky around his once again. His smile told me the touch was welcome.
We talked for a little while, Alex telling me about some of the jobs Sally May had him doing. He sounded like he’d been run ragged. Up early to start cleaning the cabins for the people who had checked out. Running errands for other guests, like those who had gone out and forgotten their hat, so Alex had to run back to their cabin and retrieve it for them. Then, at the end of the day, helping in the kitchen with the cleanup and preparation for the next day’s breakfast for the early risers. As we talked, we both happily ignored the fact we were still touching.
“So I heard you landed on your butt in front of a bunch of kids.” Alex chuckled.
“Yeah, laugh it up. I’d like to see you do better. Those ponies get pretty impatient when you’re not giving them what they want.” I chuckled and shook my head. “At least I’m not scrubbing toilets.”
“No, you’re just picking up horse shit instead.” Alex’s laugh grew louder.
“Next time you want to stop somewhere and work for a week, I’m dumping you on your ass. Seriously, I didn’t realize how much horses shit. I’m going to be smelling it for a month.”
“You’d better not stink, I have to sleep next to you when we get on the road again.” Alex squeezed my finger. I couldn’t wait for it to just be the two of us once more.
Just as I was about to tell him so, Sally May and Josie found us.
“There you are.” Hearing Sally May’s voice, we quickly jumped apart, our fingers no longer tangled together. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere.” She gave Alex a big smile. “Come on, the food will run out if you don’t hurry up.”
She held her hand out to help him off the ground. He looked to me, and I wasn’t sure what I saw in his eyes. Disappointment maybe? Was he as annoyed as I was that we’d been found and our spell broken? I couldn’t tell.
Before I could get a read on him, he reached up and let Sally May help him off the ground and lead him to the grill.
Josie took Alex’s place on the blanket as I watched him walk away, Sally May’s arm around his waist. My chest ached. Sally May sure seemed interested in Alex, but I couldn’t tell if he reciprocated her feelings or not. Maybe that’s why I hadn’t seen him come back to the dorm the past couple nights. Alex had never been one to kiss and tell, and during college I almost had to drag any information out of him. Even then I only got the bare minimum.
A sudden pang of jealousy hit me in the chest. Why would I be jealous of Alex hooking up with a girl? It’s not like he hadn’t done it before—hell, even I was thinking about a hookup with someone only a few weeks ago.
Well, if he was having fun, more power to him.
“You like him.” Josie’s voice brought me out of my musings. I’d forgotten she was sitting next to me. “I can see the way you’re looking at him.”
“I’m not gay,” I said in a croaky voice.
“I was hoping that, maybe, me and you could, you know? But now that I see the way you look at your friend, I know it’s not going to happen,” she finished with a sigh.
“I’m not gay,” I said again, less sure of myself. Just because I felt… something for Alex didn’t make me gay, did it? Maybe I was bi.
Josie didn’t respond, but her smile was both sad and warm.
“I’m not… I don’t know what I am,” I whispered. Alex and Sally May were standing near the cookout, loading their plates. Alex looked over at me and smiled slightly, before looking at Josie. His smile faded and he turned his attention back to Sally May, who appeared to be talking nonstop.
“This must be a recent development if you’re not sure.” Josie’s voice was soft. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you too. At first I thought you were a couple. But then Sally May said she was going to make a play for Alex, so I thought maybe I’d read your relationship wrong.”
“Has she…? I mean, do you know if…?” I couldn’t stop myself from asking the question I didn’t want the answer to.
“No, they haven’t as far as I know. She said she was going to make her move tonight. I told her to be careful and to make sure she wasn’t stepping on anyone’s toes. She’s not as observant as I am.”
“He’s been my best friend since junior high. We went to college together and even shared a room.” I thought about the times we’d wrestled over the remote control when I always managed to pin him beneath me, prying the remote from his hand. Had he known something back then? Had I?
“I don’t know. I don’t think I’ve thought of him as anything other than that until we started this road trip. But looking back now, I don’t know.”
Josie patted my knee as she stood up. “I hope you figure it out, Josh. I really do. You’re a great guy.” She smiled and walked away, stopping to talk to a couple of guests as she made her way to the grill.
I walked around the clearing as I searched the crowd, but I couldn’t see Alex or Sally May anywhere. I spoke with Elsie May for the first time since meeting her on the side of the road. We chatted about how the work was going and how she’d rather be outdoors shoveling manure than stuck in the office all day. I told her I’d be willing to trade. Afterward, I grabbed myself a plate of food but didn’t eat much, my appetite gone. I was lost in my thoughts and I didn’t see Alex again until it was time to climb on the wagon and head back.
Alex gave me a small smile when I sat next to him, but didn’t say anything. The silence grew as I listened to the sounds of the horses’ hooves hitting the dirt.
He kept his hands in his lap.
THE FOLLOWING morning, as I was eating breakfast in the staff dining room, Alex placed his tray next to mine before sitting down.
“I’m sorry about last night,” he started hesitantly. “Sally May had me trudging all over the place and all I wanted to do was sit with you and catch up. I can’t wait to get back on the road.”
Alex’s smile was shy, probably knowing I was a little annoyed. I shouldn’t have been, though. I had no control over who he spent his time with, so I forced myself to let it go.
I smiled at the thought of continuing our adventure, and when I looked at Alex, his eyes held hope… and something else I thought maybe Josie was talking about. Plucking up my courage, I wrapped my pinky around his and squeezed. “Three more days, right?”
“Yeah. Where do you want to go next?” Alex asked.
“What, you mean you don’t have a planned route?” I laughed and squeezed his finger again.
“Well, I do. But I’m trying your way of winging it.” Alex’s cheeky smile was back in place. I’d missed it.
“Okay. Seattle,” I said without thought.
Alex laughed.
“What?” I asked, confused.
It was his turn to squeeze my finger. “That was next on my list.”
THE DAY before we left, Elsie May called both Alex and me into the office. “Sit down, boys. I have a proposition for you.”
I raised an eyebrow before taking one of the two seats opposite her desk.
Alex sat next to me. “Is everything all right?”
“Of course. You boys have been doing a wonderful job. You’ve both helped us out of a real tight bind and I couldn’t be more grateful.” Elsie May leaned back in her chair. “Now, do you plan on going through Texas at all?”
“We plan on going through most of the states, if not all. What have you got in mind?” Alex asked, appearing intrigued.
“My cousin Jed runs a longhorn ranch near Beaumont. I usually send him one of my guys to help out with his yearly mustering in February, but Craig’s wife is pregnant and due around the same time. He’s reluctant to leave her in case she g
oes into labor early and I can’t spare anyone else. It’ll be much the same duties as what you’ve done here, except on a cattle ranch. Pay will be worth it.” Elsie May leaned her elbows on her desk. Despite her easy words, her look was one of slight desperation.
“February? We can work that. We didn’t plan on doing much of the East Coast, as we’ve seen some of it anyway. We can be in Texas in February and still be home mid-May as planned.” Alex turned to me. “What do you think, Josh?”
Elsie May had a glimmer of hope in her eye, which made it hard to say no. “I think after this week, I’ll let you do all the mucking of stalls next time. Sounds good. Texas in February it is.”
It was only August, after all. A lot could happen in six months.
WE LEFT Montana the next day as planned, but not before Sally May tried to kiss Alex. He managed to turn his head at the last second, her lips landing on his cheek. Josie and I stood off to the side, trying to hide our laughter, while Alex blushed and looked at me.
“It’s been fun having you two here,” Josie told me. “Any chance you’ll come back this way one day?”
“Never say never, Josie.”
She threw her arms around me, giving me a warm hug. I hugged her so hard, her feet lifted off the ground.
“I forgot to ask, why does Alex call you horse?” she asked after I put her on solid ground again.
“He doesn’t call me horse. He says it every time I say ‘hey.’ He’s been doing it since the day we met.” I smiled at the memory and I saw understanding dawn in her blue eyes.
“Because horses eat hay,” we said in unison before doubling over with laughter.
Still laughing, I climbed into Maude with Alex and drove away from the Bar None.
CHAPTER FIVE
August 14th
Issaquah, Washington
“YOU FEELING okay?” Alex asked with a frown as I trudged back to Maude after having a quick shower at the RV site we’d stopped at.
We’d passed through what felt like a million national parks on our way to the Washington state line and when Alex flashed an annual parks pass to avoid entry fees, I realized just how much thought he’d put into this trip.
We’d left the ranch four days ago, but my muscles hadn’t recovered yet and I was slow at doing things, like collecting firewood or packing up. I was still exhausted, despite having plenty of sleep.
“Yeah, just sore from all the horse shit shoveling I did, I think.”
Alex came closer and cradled my face gently in his hands, searching my eyes for something. For a second I thought he was about to kiss me and I questioned whether I wanted him to or not. Before I could make up my mind, he kissed my forehead, his soft lips lingering for a second longer than necessary. My heart raced. Yes, I realized, I did want him to kiss me. At least I now knew the answer.
Alex and I hadn’t moved past the finger-holding stage. I sensed a hesitancy about him, and although I wanted more, I didn’t push. We fell asleep holding hands, only to wake up and pretend we hadn’t.
“You’re hot,” he exclaimed, releasing my face and stepping back.
“I just had a hot shower.”
“You sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure I just had a shower.” I laughed, trying to make the concerned look in his eyes go away. It didn’t.
“Okay.” He nodded and started lighting the campfire, but he kept one worried eye on me.
After dinner, Alex doused the flames and crawled into bed beside me. I was half-asleep when he asked, “You want to watch a movie?”
“Hmm, sure.” I closed my eyes again, exhaustion pulling me under. A moment later, I felt Alex’s lips at my forehead once more. “Why are you kissing my head?” I asked without opening my eyes.
“I’m not kissing you, I’m checking your temperature. It’s a little high, by the way.”
“You’re checking my temperature?”
“Yes, your lips are more sensitive to temperature so it’s a more accurate way to check for a fever,” Alex stated matter-of-factly.
“Who told you that?” I asked, opening my eyes, only to close them again.
“Rachael was a nursing student.” When I looked at him again, he rolled his eyes. “I dated her for like, two months in our second year at Purdue.”
“You never kiss and tell, so don’t blame me for not remembering her.”
“Redhead, freckles. Big tits.”
Now I remembered. “She was cute.”
Alex rolled his eyes again and mine closed involuntarily, his concerned voice making me want to pay more attention. “You sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah, I’ll be fine in the morning, I just need some rest.”
Before sleep took me completely, Alex slipped his hand into mine, squeezing gently.
I WOKE the next morning in a puddle of sweat with a wet hand towel across my forehead.
“You’re awake.” Alex’s eyes were still filled with worry.
“Ugh.” My head throbbed and my mouth was dry. “Water,” I managed to squeak out.
Alex reached behind him and retrieved a bottle of water from the fridge. Opening it, he lifted my head and held it to my lips as I drank.
When did I become incapable of doing this for myself?
“Thanks,” I murmured when he took the bottle away. My head pounded and I lay back down, closing my heavy eyes. “I feel like crap.”
“I figured that. I’ve made some phone calls and we need to get on the road if we’re going to make it. Can you get yourself ready and get in the passenger seat, or do you need help?”
I didn’t have the energy to ask what he was talking about. “I can do it.”
I stumbled out of the back of the van on weakened legs. The mottled sunlight filtering through the trees made my head hurt so much I almost vomited, and all I wanted was to lie back down. Alex fixed me a bowl of cereal, and I ate a little while he moved around, packing up and making sure everything was secure for the road. He gave me some Tylenol and another bottle of water before rushing off to the showers and returning with another cold compress for my head. God, that felt good.
“Come on. It’s not too far from here.”
I climbed into the passenger seat and rested my head against the window. Before I knew it, Alex was helping me out of the van.
“I’ve checked us into a room and the doctor will be here within the next hour,” Alex said, his voice strained.
I looked around. Alex hadn’t checked us into a crummy motel on the side of a highway, he had checked us into somewhere a little more upscale. “Doctors do house calls?” No clinics I knew of did that.
“Inn House Doctor service the Seattle area. I called ahead and one will be here soon. Come on.”
Alex led me to the elevators, carrying both bags on one shoulder while keeping me upright with an arm around my waist. I leaned into him, taking comfort in his warmth even though I was boiling hot. I felt his lips on my forehead again and this time it didn’t feel like he was taking my temperature, but I wasn’t really paying that much attention.
“Am I still hot?” I asked, my voice slurring like I was drunk.
“Hmm? Oh yes. The doctor will be here soon. I’m sure he will.” He sounded a little panicky.
Once Alex got the keycard inserted and the hotel room door open, he led me to one of the large beds in the middle of the room. The coolness of the sheets was welcome against my heated skin. I didn’t have a chance to look around the room before my eyes closed.
Sometime later I woke to fingers running gently through my hair. It had grown out some since we left home and I relished the feel of fingers carding through it.
“Josh, the doctor’s here. Wake up for me, okay?” Alex sounded on edge and I tried to wake up as best I could.
“Joshua Simpson? I’m Dr. Isaiah Campbell. How are you feeling?” I could only grunt in response. “That’s what I thought. Can you tell me where it hurts most?”
“All over,” I mumbled. “Head.”
The doctor listene
d to my heart and lungs and the chill of this stethoscope made me flinch. “Sorry, I know it’s cold. Probably feels a bit worse against your skin because of your high temperature.”
When had he taken my temperature?
“Open for me,” he ordered, but when he held down my tongue with a wooden depressor, I coughed so much I almost vomited on him. I rolled onto my side and tried to control my breathing, but it was difficult to do.
“What is it, Doctor? What does he have?” came Alex’s tiny voice. I hated making him worry.
The doctor prodded and poked me some more before answering Alex. “He has a case of influenza. Make sure you keep his fluids up, and only clear fluids. I know the chef so I’ll make sure he has a batch of clear broth on hand.” I heard the distinct scratch of pen on paper. “You can fill this at the pharmacy around the corner. It’s an antiviral and make sure you read this list of instructions. Alternate Tylenol and ibuprofen every two hours should help with the fever. Remember to push the electrolytes.”
“Thank you, Doctor. Thank you so much for coming out.” Alex sounded relieved, but there was an underlying concern there as well. I heard the door click shut, then Alex rummaging in the duffel before sitting beside me on the bed. “Here, take this,” he whispered, handing me two tablets and another bottle of water. “I’ve gotta run to the pharmacy, but I’ll be real quick, okay? Promise. If you need me before I get back, call me. I’ll come as quick as I can.” Alex placed my cell within reach before testing my temperature with his lips again.
I couldn’t open my eyes thanks to the pounding in my head, but I heard his footsteps hesitate before opening the door. I didn’t hear it close.
THERE WERE times I heard Alex’s soothing voice as he talked to me, but I could never make out what he was saying. Every now and then I was aware of fingers running through my hair, a press of lips to my forehead. Once I could have sworn I felt his lips on mine, but I couldn’t be sure.
