by Gina Watson
She laid out the cheeses as if the case was a map of the Mediterranean. It didn’t work very well because she needed more east and west than north and south and the case was set up in the opposite way, but in her mind she knew where everything would be as represented by its geographical location. Her little clips worked nicely except for being purple. She’d thought of painting them black, but since they were in with the cheeses she didn’t think it would be a good idea given the fumes.
Before she went to work she stopped by Shelly’s Hair Salon and got her bangs straightened out. It took off quite a bit of length and now she sported a trendy hipster haircut with short geometrical bangs. She was so tired of thinking about her hair.
Around twelve forty-five she went to the kitchen and with a smile on her face placed an order for two specials. While she waited for the order she sliced up tomatoes and mozzarella for a salad. She smiled as she imagined Jackson eating the salad he loved so much.
Her phone pinged relentlessly from her pocket and she quickly retrieved it before Mr. Moretti localized the sound and complained.
On the porch.
She loaded up a tray with their lunches and trekked through the restaurant to the back porch. Using the towel she deposited his chicken dish and hers, followed by the salads. “Buon appetito.”
He stood and hugged her, then he placed a kiss on the top of her head. “Your hair looks good.” She scowled at him. “Too soon?” She nodded.
They sat and he cut into his chicken. When he put the bite into his mouth he dropped his utensils and moaned. “Oh, this is better than it’s ever been before,” he expressed around a mouthful of food.
Her smile was so wide she thought it would crack. “You really think so?”
“No thinking about it, it’s a scientific fact.” He took another huge bite.
“Guess what?” Her eyes were large as she waited for him to answer.
“Mmm, what?”
“I made the sauce today.”
His hand slapped the table. “That’s what it is, Bug. Everything you touch is made better. You have the golden touch.”
She giggled and cut into her dish.
“This mozzarella is the best too. It’s so tender and full of flavor.” He gestured with his fork to the salad she’d made. “They pay you in peanuts even though you provide them with a ton of skill.”
He was absolutely right.
“I saw those notecards on the clips in the case. Turned out nice. I like how you organized the cheese by region.”
Of course he’d noticed. He observed her every move. His intensity could be overwhelming at times, but she wouldn’t change anything about him. He noticed every little thing, including her too long hair and even her efforts at work. She smiled, “I’ve moved twenty-three pounds of cheese already today.”
“Wow, that’s incredible.” He ran his finger across his lower lip, something he did when he was thinking. “How many pounds are sold on average per day?”
“Three.”
“It’s truly astonishing. Well done.”
“I’ve also started a cheese log for my regulars so I can keep track of their purchases and reference what they liked. And it’ll help me keep the case stocked with favorites.”
“You’re really happy when you talk about managing the counter.”
“I really am. I have something else I’d like to discuss.”
“Okay, shoot.” He wiped his mouth with a napkin.
She swallowed. “I think I’d like to quit college and work here fulltime. What do you think of that? Is it crazy? Do you think it’s a horrible idea?”
“I can’t answer that for you.” His fingers swept a rogue curl behind her ear. “Feel it in your gut, what’s it saying? The answers will come, just keep an open mind.”
His forehead creased and his eyes blazed at her like sparkling jewels in the sun. He’d forgotten his sunglasses. She had no idea how he’d take her news. There was no major at her school that was remotely culinary and unless she enrolled in the college of business—and that was a stretch—it was really of no use to her.
“But yeah, I get it.”
She exhaled the breath she hadn’t known she was holding. She didn’t know if he’d be indifferent or even upset. He’d been through so much school and she didn’t want him to think her foolish for not seeing its value.
“I mean I think if I were in medical school or law school I would be pursuing it with everything I have, but I’m passionate about food and there’s no major at the college for me.”
He nodded. “It makes sense. People go to school to learn a trade, which you’re cultivating here in the restaurant.” His index finger tapped the table. “What do you propose?”
“If I drop by Friday Dad will get eighty percent of his money back for classes.”
“You know you’re really good at all of this.” He waved his finger in a circle in the air. “You need your own place. Imagine what you could do without being held back by an evil dictator.”
“He’s not that bad. He’s had a hard year.”
He nodded and placed his hand on hers. “I know.” He was sincere and his lips almost curled into a comforting smile. He was so afraid to let himself be happy. She envisioned tickling him to make him less controlled.
“So now you have to tell your father.”
She bit her lip. “I guess I’ll call him tonight. How do you think he’ll take it?”
He leaned back as deep thought settled across his face. “I think the key is to let him know you’re happy and that you have a plan.”
That made a lot of sense. “How’d you get to be so smart?”
“It’s a constant battle.” She started to lean into him for a kiss. “You’re brother’s here.”
She froze in place, restless as she thought about the day they would no longer have to hide their love. That day would come soon enough. For now it was best not to ruin everybody’s lunch.
“I’m going to go say hey. I’ll see you tonight.” She squeezed his arm. “I love you.”
Chapter 9
By Saturday Jackson was ready to get out of town and he sensed Clara was too. This weekend was to be her last hoorah before she joined the fulltime work force. She’d spoken with her father and, while he was accommodating, he did keep her options open if she ever decided she’d like to return to school.
Glad this weekend was finally here, he was almost euphoric as he thought about not having to hide his love for her. He wouldn’t let himself fully experience what he was feeling until it was clear her brother would accept them as a couple. There was a part of him that was held by the gangly wooden and knotted fingers of doubt. Fingers that reached to him and scratched like those of a hundred year old tree covered in moss with outstretched branches and limbs. Doubt that once the truth was in the open her family would let him continue to see her. Doubt that she would even want to be with him if her family turned on him. He shook his head to clear it of those unwelcome thoughts that led to him breaking out into a cold sweat.
“Cracker Jack, I more than love you.”
From the passenger side of the car Clara’s sweet voice came to him, soothing and assuaging his mood. He forced a broken smile her way.
“That’s just pathetic.” She squeezed his free hand in hers. “Stop worrying. No matter what happens it’s you and me forever.” The smile she offered was far from pathetic. Her eyes sparkled and her deep dimples called to him like a beacon in a storm. More than once he’d thought he’d like to shrink down small enough to live in them.
He wanted, hell he needed to be intimate with her in that very moment. Maybe some of her goodness and contentment would rub off onto him.
“How do you want to do this?” Jackson asked.
“I was thinking we wouldn’t do anything except be ourselves. No more lies.”
“How will that accomplish revealing that we’ve been together?”
“Trust me, people can tell that we love each other. Hands tangled together, simple
but meaningful touches and glances. We just won’t hide it. I feel like if we go in with a script we will make it into something huge. Don’t get me wrong, our love is huge, but it’s also uncompromising.” She shrugged. “There’s no need to open the door to conversation about it. Together. Forever. Simple as that.”
She was wise beyond her years. He loved how she problem solved big issues and broke them down into manageable, simplistic parts. In a way she’d done that with him and it had helped him deal with his trust issues. He’d been afraid to seek solace in another individual—afraid that person would also be violently snatched from his life just as his parents had been. He was afraid to admit to himself that he was extraordinarily happy. It had caused some strife in their relationship early on, but she’d told him to live in the moment and get over himself. Day by day they let things play out. They didn’t attempt to quantify what they did: dating, kissing, and loving. It had freed him from worrying about the deep and unrelenting pain born of loss. He knew that pain all too well and never wanted to experience it again.
“Jackson.”
“Yeah?”
“I called your name three times before you answered. Tell your brain to stop tormenting my lover. Do we need to pull over?” Her brow rose in question. “Maybe for a kiss?”
“Absolutely for a kiss. There’s a Dairy Queen at the next exit. Can I interest you in a chocolate dipped cone?
“As long as it comes after a kiss.”
“It will most definitely be after a kiss.”
Approaching the restaurant he searched for the most privacy possible and pulled into a slot, parking in front of a wooden fence. Before he could turn to her she had crawled over the gearshift and straddled his lap, her hands threaded through his hair as her powder-blue eyes looked down into his. She smiled her dimpled smile above him. “Hey, you.”
He inhaled slowly, taking her scent deep into his lungs. “Hey.” She brought her mouth down on his and placed a kiss so sweet on his lips his eyes grew swimmy at her tender care.
“Why do you stay with me?” He asked.
Her brows furrowed inward as she regarded him with a look of concern. “Jackson,” she whispered. “If you don’t know the answer then I’m not a very good girlfriend.” She lowered her chin to her chest.
“Hey”—he cupped her chin in his grip and tilted her head up—“you’re the best. You give me a reason to exist. I just don’t know what I give to you that you couldn’t get from some fun guy closer to your age. Not some intense old-timer with a ton of unsettled issues and a mountain of responsibilities and debt. How can you even have fun with me?”
“Frankly, given that description I’m amazed we even let you out of the basement. You should remain chained there for all of eternity.”
He cracked a smile, “Don’t I know it.”
“You accept me and affirm my endeavors, but it’s more than that even. You make me feel wanted and needed and smart. You listen and really hear what I have to say. I feel innately connected to you by a bond that comes from something not of this world. Maybe it’s astrological.” She shrugged. “I don’t know, but I do know we’re supposed to be together. Neither of us could survive without the other. We are two parts of a whole. You push me like only you can”—she pointed at her bangs and smiled—“to be the best person I can in this life. You care about my wellbeing and happiness and I love your intensity surrounding all things me. I might not always understand what you’re doing, or even why you’re doing it, but I always know it’s going to benefit me and make my life better because you won’t stop until I have more than what I need.”
She kissed his eyes, nose, and lips. “I hope that gives you a starting place for you to begin to understand why I love you. I’m a little sad that you don’t already know.” She stuck her lips out in a pout. He kissed his index finger and pressed it to her mouth.
“I did know all of that, but sometimes it’s just nice to hear it out loud. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me.”
≈
He drove them to Jackson Square and they parked on the street. Something was unsettled in the air. Clara didn’t want to upset Jackson so she’d kept it to herself, but she was convinced the big reveal wasn’t going to go so well. What else was there to do? The family needed to know.
She sighed.
“Everything okay?” Jackson asked.
She nodded and they exited the car.
She stood looking at the St. Louis Cathedral with its triple steeples and thought how lovely it would be to marry there. Great wedding traditions abounded in New Orleans. Entire wedding parties would walk through the French Quarter led by a brass band playing “When the Saints Go Marching In.” She wanted that for her wedding. She also wanted to be surrounded by her family as she publicly appointed Jackson her partner for life. The plaque on the front of the church read 1794. That was a lot of wedded bliss and she wanted to be part of the rich heritage.
“Bug, what’s wrong?”
“I’m just tired.”
“Are you sure that’s all it is?” He rubbed her back and she leaned into his side.
“Yeah, babe.” She pulled him along into the middle of the Square. All around were performers within every possible genre. A saxophonist belted out bold rough tones while a one man band dueled with him for ownership of the airwaves. A mime enacted a comical scene on the church steps. Hip-hop beats blared from speakers as a group of three men danced in synchronized perfection. Lone ballerinas, twirlers, sculptors, and caricaturists each demonstrated their skills for passersby and hoped for a little coin to be tossed their way. Actors, magicians, and even ministers performed for no one in particular, but orated in clear, deep vocal tones, which echoed across the courtyard. A woman sat in a chair, her shirt and bra pulled to reveal her breast to the air as she benefitted from the skills of a tattoo artist.
It was truly astonishing. Clara had never really given the Square much attention before. Perhaps more in abundance than even the musicians were the psychics. With a quick survey of the area before her Clara counted nine. For some reason the Square comforted her. Perhaps it was because one could seek, without judgment, the answers to life’s questions.
She took a seat beneath the umbrella of a palm reader. “Hi.”
“Hello, have you chosen me?” Middle-aged with deep set and penetrating eyes, she possessed an abundance of deep mahogany hair that tumbled to her waist.
“Yes, I have.” She smiled.
“Welcome, I’m Claudia.”
“Clara.” She sat in a lawn chair, Jackson stood behind her. Claudia focused on her with intense coffee bean eyes.
“What are your needs?”
“I need to know everything will by okay. That we will be okay.”
“Who?”
“The one I love.”
“Are you entering a new phase in your life?”
“I hope to be.”
“We’ll use the cards to guide you.” She placed a deck in front of Clara. “Shuffle the deck.”
Clara picked up the cards that were a little too big for her hands and did her best to shuffle.
When she finished, Claudia took them back and fanned them in her hands. “Choose four.”
Clara scanned the deck. She hovered with her fingers twitching above the cards. She pulled one from each end and then worked her way in until she’d selected four.
“Okay, now choose two cards.”
Claudia revealed the cards, her head bopping from one row to the next. For several seconds she studied the cards. “You’re up and down all day, every day. Highs and lows. Good and bad.”
Her eyes scanned Clara for feedback. So far the reading was right on the money. “You’ve drawn the three of swords here.” Her hand indicated the top row. “But then later the ace of swords.
“Let’s talk about the first one that’s going to hit you. The three of swords: heartbreak, loneliness, and betrayal.”
Clara’s lips parted and she took a harsh breath. The card boasted a gi
ant red heart with three daggers plunged through it. No!
“It’s got to come in order to clear out the past and make the path clear for the future. When your pain reaches its zenith the tide will start to turn. You will experience great loss and sorrow.” Clara didn’t like the suggested path ahead, but Claudia’s hand hovered over another card. “And then a complete change and pursuit of ultimate truth. Ah, we’re hatching from the chrysalis, fresh and new. A rebirth.”
That sounded much better.
“You will walk through the fire first. When you do, hold on to what you know to be the facts, dump the rest.”
Facts. Dump the rest.
Jackson’s finger twirled a curl at her nape as she sat and enjoyed that his touch was never far from her.
“It will get you to great love.” Her hand rested on a card that resembled Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. “Love and sex, a union, and the strongest force of all—a relationship built on deep love, the highest of all unions.” Her hand was on the move again and settled over The Empress. “Extravagance, giving and receiving pleasure, health, and harmony.” The two of cups next. “Marriage, healing, peace, forgiveness.” Finally, she touched the ten of cups. “Joy and family.”
She saw Clay and Eve approaching in the distance and Jackson made no effort to remove his hand from massaging her neck. She looked up at him to see if he was paying attention. He was looking directly at Clay. Closing her eyes she took a deep breath and exhaled it slowly. Claudia whispered so only she would hear, “It’s going to get rough before it gets better. Don’t give up even when he does.”
Her jaw fell open and she inhaled a ragged breath. Her gut seized with the thought of Jackson giving up on their love. What else could she mean, it had to be that. Quickly she stood and met his deep blue gaze. “Jackson, promise me now, quickly, that it’s you and me together forever against the world.”
His forehead creased. “Bug?” His stare was intense. “What’s wrong?”
“Please hurry, tell me before they get here. Tell me no matter what happens we will always have each other.”
His lips tightened into a thin line as his gaze shifted to Claudia and back to her. “You know how I feel. I can’t live apart from you. I’d say that’s pretty solidifying.” He tangled her fingers in his. “Always and forever. You and me against the world.” They walked hand in hand to meet Clay and Eve.
