Chapter 14
“It’s crazy—I can’t believe all these people showed up! This is miraculous!” Pam swirled around to face Joy, nearly dropping her punch on the person next to her, more thrilled and happy than she had been in weeks. The party was packed; music was playing; residents were decked out in their Christmas best and making contacts and showing the employers, supporters and community members who had come to the party that they were good, decent people who deserved a second chance. It was all she could have dreamed of and more.
Still, her cheer lapsed slightly as she noticed one gap in the crowd; Ted hadn’t come. She hadn’t been sure if he would or not. She’d left an invitation on his phone, but he’d never responded. She’d been too busy to brood on everything that had happened between them. One thing for certain—she knew she still didn’t want him taking financial responsibility for the shelter. Not because she didn’t think he could handle it, but because, well…this place was hers. She didn’t want to have the burden placed on anyone else but her.
However, at least for the moment, it looked as if they were becoming financially secure again. Donations were pouring in faster than they had in a long while, and she’d already set up several new contacts for services. She thought this Christmas party would be an annual event—thank God for Joy.
“You really saved us here, Joy. I know the social and counseling aspects of this business inside out, but I guess I was never a great publicist—I never really thought about bringing the community inside, opening the doors and letting them see the place, who lives here, how we work,” she said, giving her friend’s hand a squeeze.
“I’m so happy for you, Pam, that this is going so well. The shelter is going to benefit big time, in spite of the rumors—no one is talking about it, or even cares. It’s so obvious you do good work here, and that the place is an asset to the community.”
“Thanks—it’s more than I ever dreamed of. Thanks to you and your help—you are a PR goddess. Speaking of which, what about your promotion at Carr? Have you heard anything?”
“I actually…I called Ken today and turned it down—in fact, I quit.”
Pam was obviously shocked.
“You quit? Your job?”
“Yes. The corporate life isn’t for me. Never was. I worked hard and I was good at it, but I was never happy. Not really. One side benefit is I saved and invested a good bit of money. Now I can afford time off to find out what I really love doing, and I have a feeling it’s going to be finding some career through which I can help support organizations like yours.”
“That’s fantastic! That’s such a huge step, Joy.”
“It’s wonderful. It was time for me to make a move.”
“You do seem like a load has been taken off, though. You seem happier. Lighter.”
“There is some other news, though. I need you to keep it between us.”
Pam leaned in, noting how Joy’s gaze had traveled over to Rafe, and she wondered if her friend was about to share wedding plans.
“I may be moving to New York.”
“What?” Pam said loudly, drawing the attention of some people nearby. “What? Why?”
“I quit my job to be with Rafe. I want to help him work through this sleep problem and get back to his job. He loves it, Pam. You should have seen him at that fire, and with Bessie afterward. It’s his life. I want to share that life with him, hopefully. So I’m going to tell him later that I want to go back to New York with him when he’s finished his vacation here. I’d like to explore new career options for myself, and help him get back on his feet.”
“Wow. That’s not what I was expecting, but wow. That’s huge! Are you sure? I mean, it’s clear you two are crazy about each other, though—and I’m happy for you. It’s nice to be madly in love, but you know, that’s a big chance to take,” Pam said, happy for Joy, but unable to keep a wistful note from her voice.
“Well, we haven’t actually said anything about love yet—in fact, we haven’t said anything about anything, but it’s time—I’m crazy about him. I have to take a chance. There’s just something…”
“Special. I think you’re right. There is. You should do whatever’s necessary to hold on to it.”
Joy hugged her. “Pam, thanks. I know you mean that. I know it’s especially difficult because things have been rough between you and Ted lately, but—”
“No, please. Not tonight. It’s killing me what’s happened with us, but I think it’s over. I haven’t heard from him since our blowout the other night, and he’s not here now, so, you know. I think that’s it,” she said, trying to sound brave, but her voice quavered, giving her raw emotions away.
“I don’t think so. Honey, I know you love Ted like crazy, and he loves you, too—but you both let your pride get in the way. Rafe has taught me that relationships are about helping each other, leaning on each other, and maybe you might have a teensy bit of a hard time doing that with Ted?”
Pam started to bristle, but then gave in, her shoulders slumping. “Maybe. I guess it’s because I’m used to standing on my own.”
“You’re the heart of this place, Pam, no doubt, but you can’t be afraid to lean on the people who want to help you.”
“I know. I guess in my heart I didn’t want this place to fail, and I didn’t want anyone—including Ted, especially Ted—to think I’d failed, as well. When he wanted to take on the loan, I wasn’t protecting him, I was protecting me. I wanted to save the place on my own terms.”
“You did.”
“No, I did it with help from my friends—and I should have let Ted help, too.”
“It’s never too late.”
“It may well be. I don’t know how to make Ted understand. I really hurt him.”
Joy smiled, her gaze sliding to the door. “Actually, I think you’re in for a surprise.”
Pam followed Joy’s gaze. There was Ted standing tentatively by the door, a group of people around him as they all dealt with their coats and said hellos. The world dropped away as Pam’s eyes met his and she started breathing again—had it only been a few days? He looked so handsome, and she knew Joy was right—pride and ego were no reasons to throw away the best thing in her life.
She started to make her way through the crowd, to go to him, but Joy’s hand was on her arm.
“Wait. Just a minute.”
Pam stopped, puzzled, as Ted and the group he’d apparently come with went forward to the platform at the front of the room. As they did so, Pam realized that she knew the four men who followed along with Ted—though they looked so different now. She held her breath, realizing what was going on and not quite believing it. Ted took the podium, appearing a bit apprehensive as he cleared his throat, using his booming baritone to get the room’s attention.
“Hello, everyone, happy holidays. I’m Ted Ramsey, and I used to be a resident here, not so long ago. I was thirty-eight when I lost everything and ended up on the street. I used to live in New Orleans, where I worked as a handyman in the building where I lived. Because of Hurricane Katrina, I lost my home and my job, and the building was never rebuilt. For me, everything was gone. Absolutely everything,” he said, clearing his throat again. The room was completely silent, listening, and he continued.
“I was evacuated to San Diego. I didn’t have any family, and my friends were all in similar situations, so I lived in alleys, didn’t eat or sleep for days in a row sometimes. I tried to find jobs, but I didn’t have money for new clothes, no address, and the more you’re out there, the less anyone wants to give you a chance. To most people, I was a bum. I was arrested for sleeping in a park and the cop who let me off told me about Second Chance.”
Pam put her hands to her mouth, seeing the admiration among the listeners as Ted continued.
“Thing is, anyone can end up homeless—you think it can’t happen to you, but it can. The world can take you to some pretty low places. However, because of this shelter and people like Pam, there are second chances. All of us here—” h
e gestured to the people standing proudly behind him “—found a new life though this place, and some of us found even more than that,” he said, his eyes meeting Pam’s, his tone husky with emotion. She’d never loved him more. He smiled then, as he wrapped up, and her world lit brighter.
“We’re hoping you’ll listen to our stories, and support this place well into the future, in any way you can.”
Ted stepped down to a deafening level of applause and cheers, the audience turning their attention back to the stage to listen to the other members of the group. Joy hugged Pam, her own eyes teary.
“Ted did this on his own—he told me, but he wanted it to be a surprise. He contacted every person he could find to come back here and share their stories. They flew in from all over. He did it for you, most of all though, Pam, because he loves you. Make no mistake about that,” Joy said, and Pam could only nod, emotions bunching any words she might have spoken into a soundless knot in her throat as Joy stepped away.
Then Ted was there, large and handsome, close and warm, and all she could do was throw her arms around him in front of God and everyone without thinking twice. She didn’t care what anyone thought, only Ted. She loved him, and she told him so, needing him to know that he’d always come first with her. When his arms wrapped around her and their lips met, Pam knew it was going to be one of the best Christmases ever.
* * *
Joy shrieked as she and Rafe ran from the car to her house, lugging bags of gifts and goodies from the party, laughing as they got soaked anyway, not moving nearly fast enough as the rain poured down in dark sheets. The heat wave that had been baking Southern California for weeks was finally giving way as cooler weather settled in for Christmas.
It wasn’t snow, but she’d take it.
Dropping the bags safely on her porch, she looked at Rafe—quite the stud, decked out in his suit. Laughing with glee, she ran back down the steps and began dancing out into the yard, arms spread, glorying in the cool wash of the rain.
With a laugh, he joined her and pulled her up against him, taking her mouth in a drugging kiss as the rain poured over them and they swayed back and forth in a slow, wet dance. It thrilled her that Rafe was able to get her so hot, so fast, and most of all it thrilled her that she’d discovered such a deep well of passion in her life, and she wanted to share it with him.
“Want to take the party inside?” she asked seductively, tugging at his tie.
“Absolutely.”
Arm in arm they walked back up the porch and in the door, peeling off their wet clothes layer by layer until they were nude and shivering up against each other.
“I think a hot shower is needed,” she said, her teeth chattering. She squealed as Rafe picked her up in his arms and climbed the stairs. In the shower, he returned to kissing her, turning the hot water on high without breaking their lip-lock even for a second.
Joy was in heaven as the steamy water and Rafe’s touch chased away the chill. He was so solid and warm, her hands drifting over every inch of his skin was a pursuit of which she could never tire.
When he hoisted her up, pressing her back against the tile and sliding home, deep inside her welcoming body, it was all so right and natural, as if their bodies were made for each other and no one else. She gave herself up to him, completely trusting, more than happy to follow his lead as he made her body soar with pleasure she hadn’t known she was capable of.
Joy hoped she’d get a lot more chances to make up for lost time in the physical-pleasure department, but what she was experiencing with Rafe was also deepened by emotions she’d never felt for any other man.
Coming down from their interlude, they soaped each other from head to toe and then rubbed each other dry with soft towels. Rafe trotted off to grab some wine and agreed to meet her downstairs. It was late, but what the hell? It was the night before Christmas Eve and she wanted to celebrate.
She couldn’t believe she’d quit her job, or how good it felt. She knew it deep inside, in her gut. It was new to be so sure, so confident. She liked it.
She’d have to find something else eventually, but for now she planned on enjoying an extended vacation, hopefully with the man of her dreams. Joy paused, a little riff of nervousness running down her spine as she contemplated what she’d say. What if Rafe was still in favor of their original plan? A few weeks of no-strings fun that she now very much wanted to attach some very hefty strings to?
Donning a sheer nightgown, Joy found him on the sofa where he sat quietly, lounging only in a pair of flannel house pants, his beautiful chest bare, and her heart fluttered at the picture he made. The rain poured outside, and he didn’t seem to notice her arrival as he studied the twinkling lights of the Christmas tree with an intense expression that didn’t seem to fit with their lighthearted evening.
“You’re staring a hole in that tree—everything okay?”
He looked up, smiling. “Fine. Just thinking. The tree is pretty. I notice you snuck some gifts underneath.”
She sat down close by his side, cuddling in. “A few.”
“I have some things for you, too, though I have to wrap them,” he confessed.
She swatted him playfully—they’d said no gifts, but now that she was in full swing with the Christmas spirit, she couldn’t resist putting some prettily wrapped packages under the tree. Working up her courage, she stood up.
“I have one thing I want to give you now, actually.”
He smiled flirtatiously at her. “Again?”
“Not that, at least, not this minute. A real present.”
“You don’t have to do that, Joy,” he said. “We should wait until Christmas morning. It’s only one more day.”
“I really want to. I really want you to have this now, because I have some things I want to tell you, and it’s all wrapped up, so to speak.”
“Well, okay. I’m never one to turn down a present,” he teased as she walked to her desk on the other side of the room and took a folder from under the large calendar that rested under her computer.
She sat, placing the folder between them, and explained in a rush, “It’s not a gift like the ones under the tree, but it’s something I wanted you to have for Christmas. I got the idea from Ted, you know, how he contacted all those people for Pam and the shelter, and from our visit to Bessie the other day. I thought, I don’t know…that it could help you get over your burnout problem. Just open it and stop me from continuing to babble, okay?”
Rafe looked at her quizzically and slowly reached to open the folder, then pulled out a thick pile of e-mails.
“What is this?”
“Your boss helped me get in touch with some of the people you’ve helped. When I called them, they were so enthusiastic to finally have a chance to contact you and say thank-you—like you said, at the time someone is picked up, they don’t know who you are, and time passes—but so many people jumped at the chance to tell you what your help meant, Rafe. I wanted you to know, too.”
He waded through the stack, smiling at some, remembering others very clearly, caught up in a string of memories that he shared with her as they went through the e-mails together, and when they’d reached the last one, he looked at her, his heart in his eyes.
“Joy…I don’t know what to say.” He lifted his hand to her face, his expression solemn and emotional. “Thank you. This…this is beyond words.”
“I did the legwork, but you’ve done these wonderful things for all of these people, and you’ve made a huge difference in my world, too, Rafe. I need you to know that. In fact—” She took a deep breath, started to speak, but then stopped.
Her hands were shaking as she knew she teetered on the edge of something wonderful or potentially terrible in her life. What if she was jumping the gun? What if her instincts were off and he didn’t want her as much as she hoped he did? Telling Rafe her true feelings, what she wanted, was an enormous risk. The words clogged in her throat. Was she ready? She’d quit her job, turned down a promotion and was determined to sta
rt a new life. Only this time, it wasn’t her job, but her heart that was on the line.
Rafe looked deeply concerned, as he always did when something troubled her.
“Hey, what can be so horrible? You can tell me anything, Joy.”
He took her hands, cold from nerves, and warmed them in his own. She stared for several long moments into his face, the blinking lights of the tree creating a cheerful backdrop that bolstered her courage. It was Christmas, after all. The time for miracles, right?
She took another deep breath, getting the rest of it out as quickly as she could. “How you saved Bessie, and those e-mails, talking to the people you’ve helped—what you do is so important, so meaningful. I want to have that meaning in life, too, work I can be as passionate about as you are about yours.”
“That’s wonderful, Joy,” he said sincerely. She knew he meant it, but he also looked guarded and drew back from her slightly. Fear lodged in her chest, but she pushed herself forward. She had to tell him, for better or worse.
“So…I quit my job. I’m not going back to Carr. I love you, Rafe. I love how you make me feel, how you care for others, and how terrific and brave you are. I want to go to New York with you and help you get back to your job. We can work it out together. I want…I bought a…ticket, already,” she finished lamely, gripping his fingers tightly because he hadn’t let go and she needed something, anything, to hold on to.
“You bought a ticket? To New York?”
She nodded, not particularly encouraged by his incredulous tone.
“You quit your job?”
She nodded again, wishing he would stop repeating everything she’d said, as if she weren’t skittish enough already about laying her heart on the line.
“Um, well, okay. I don’t know if you’ll need that ticket, but—”
Her heart sank and she pulled her hands away quickly. “It’s okay, I know, I dumped all of that on you out of nowhere, and if you don’t want me to go back with you, I won’t. God, I’m such an idiot, I don’t know what I was thinking—”
Talking In Your Sleep... Page 16
