by Laura Iding
The prices were outrageous, though, too high for her tight budget, so she turned away. No matter how tempting, she couldn’t waste money on things she didn’t need. Especially when there would be more than enough baby items to buy.
She made her way through the mall crowds and, to her surprise, ran straight into Luke.
“Caryn!” He greeted her with a smile. He had a garment bag draped over his shoulder. His gaze swung from the maternity store to her empty hands. “Didn’t find what you were looking for?”
“I’m just window-shopping.” She waved a hand casually, shying away from the bare truth. Not that it really mattered, as he knew more about her strained financial situation than most of her friends did. Luke looked better, healthier than the last time she’d seen him. Her gaze sought his. “How are you feeling? I heard from Anna you had to go down to the ED for IV fluids.”
“Yeah, but I’m fine now.” He glanced at the floor, as if embarrassed to have succumbed to something so mundane as illness. His brows came together in a frown and his eyes held concern. “How about you? I hope I didn’t cause you to get sick, too?”
“Nope, I’m healthy as can be.” Was that the reason he hadn’t come to see her when he’d left? Because he’d been worried she might become contaminated with Crypto, too? The tightness around her heart eased a little. David had been very self-centered. This was the second time Luke had put her needs ahead of his own.
“Thank heavens,” Luke said in a heartfelt tone. “Are you here alone?” He glanced around. “We could have lunch.”
She wanted nothing more than to eat lunch with Luke, but that wouldn’t be fair to Dana so she shook her head with very real regret. “As much as I’d like to, I’m not alone. I’m here with Dana. She’s waiting for me.”
“I see.” He looked a little disappointed.
“Maybe another time?” she asked hopefully.
“Sure. Take care, Caryn.” He flashed that lethal smile of his again and stepped back, giving her room to move past him.
“I will. Bye, Luke.” She headed toward the dress shop where she’d left Dana, resisting the urge to glance back at him over her shoulder. Before she could enter the dress shop, a toddler threw herself on the floor of the mall, screaming at the top of her lungs in the best display of a temper tantrum Caryn had ever seen.
Mall customers stopped and stared. A young couple standing next to a stroller argued for a few minutes about the best way to handle their daughter. Finally the child’s father picked up the girl, mindless of her kicking and screaming, and headed straight to the mall exit, while the young mother followed with the stroller.
Good choice, Caryn thought, but then her smile faded. At least the parents had each other to talk to about these sorts of things. When she’d first realized she was pregnant she’d made the decision to raise her child alone, accepting the responsibility. But since she’d begun to spend more time with Luke she’d found her conviction to remain independent wavering.
Was she exaggerating her attraction to Luke as a way to subconsciously avoid being a single parent?
A tiny knot formed in her stomach, giving an uneasy twist. She’d met David shortly after her parents had died and at the time he’d seemed so kind and gentle. She’d thought herself in love with him and had asked him to move in with her, only to later realize she’d made a huge mistake.
Now here she was on the brink of getting involved with Luke during another crisis in her life. How could she trust she wouldn’t make the same mistake again?
Luke entered the maternity store and immediately noticed he was the only guy in the place. Women openly gawked at him. He scowled. For Pete’s sake, didn’t men buy maternity clothes for their wives? With a resigned shrug he looked around, trying to figure out which outfit had caught Caryn’s eye.
The clothes she had on were once again too large for her small frame, not to mention they were clearly hand-me-downs. She deserved something new, something special. He gazed at a pink top with a beaded diamond in the center on a pregnant mannequin, and easily imagined Caryn wearing it instead.
Taking the top from the rack, he added two pairs of leggings, knowing they’d show off Caryn’s shapely legs. Although she’d look great no matter what she wore. Then he spied a black clingy dress that would look perfect on her and grabbed that, too.
He didn’t normally spend a lot of time in shopping malls, but he’d needed to purchase a new tux for a charity event Mitch had asked him to attend. Apparently the hospital was also using the event to thank everyone who’d worked so hard during the Crypto crisis. When he’d seen Caryn coming out of the maternity store, he was so glad to see her he’d walked straight toward her without thinking twice about what he’d been doing.
Her concern over his well-being was heartwarming, although he told himself not to read too much into her comments. Caryn cared about everyone, especially her patients. He’d been glad to hear he hadn’t caused her to get sick. He’d had no business encouraging her to spend the night with him in his call room, no matter how much he’d enjoyed kissing her, touching her and eventually sleeping with her in his arms. Although those moments had sustained him during his illness, he’d dreamed of her often, waking up tense and hot and sweaty, and not from a fever.
He paid for the maternity clothes he’d picked out for Caryn, knowing buying personal items for her was crossing the line yet unable to stop himself. He alternated between his desperate need to see her and the agonizing fear of caring too much. He didn’t know anything about relationships. His father had left before he’d been old enough to go to school and his mother had gone through men quicker than most people drank rare wine.
Was he really ready to jump into a relationship?
His stomach clenched. As much as he was very attracted to Caryn, he didn’t really know anything about being a husband or a father. What if things didn’t work out? It wouldn’t be easy to walk away.
Not when one considered there was the added responsibility of a child that needed to be taken into consideration, too.
He tossed the maternity clothes and his new tux in the back seat of his car and told himself he was getting way ahead of things. He and Caryn had shared a few stolen moments but they hadn’t even gone out on a proper date.
Although that could change, if he invited her to attend the charity ball with him.
Would she agree? Or turn him down flat?
There was only one way to know for sure.
That evening, Luke finagled Caryn’s address from Mitch and drove over to her house. The clothes he’d bought for her were in brightly colored gift-wrapped boxes on the seat beside him.
He debated how best to present them to her. No matter how he tried to frame it, the clothes were a very personal gift. He could leave them for her anonymously, but then he wouldn’t have the added benefit of spending time with her.
He pulled up in front of her house and sat for a minute.
Surveying her home, he was not surprised to find the house was well maintained. There was a small but cozy yard just big enough for a swing set. He could easily imagine Caryn pushing her small daughter on the swing, then gave himself a mental shake. Caryn’s baby wouldn’t need a swing set for years yet.
And he’d stalled long enough.
Picking up the boxes, he climbed from the car and headed up to the front door. The inside front door was open, and his fingers tightened on the gifts when he realized she was actually home. He pressed on the doorbell, listening as it echoed through the house.
“Coming!” she called, from somewhere in the back. Through the screen door he saw her come around the corner, a paintbrush in one hand and a smear of yellow paint across her cheek.
Her steps slowed, her eyes widening in surprise when she saw him standing there. “Luke. What are you doing here?”
“Hi, Caryn.” He wondered what she was painting then reminded himself it was none of his business. “I was in the neighborhood and thought I’d stop by.” Lame, Hamilton, he thought. Real
ly lame.
“Come in.” She opened the door and stepped back, inviting him in.
“I don’t mean to barge in on you, but here.” He held out the gifts. “This is for you.”
She didn’t take the boxes but clutched the yellow-tipped paintbrush like a torch, so she wouldn’t smear more paint on her T-shirt and sweatpants stretched over her belly. A frown tugged at the corners of her mouth. “Luke, you’re not supposed to buy me gifts.”
“I know, but I wanted to.” An awkward silence fell and he mentally cursed himself for not simply leaving the boxes outside her door. When she made no move to take the gifts, he glanced around her tidy living room. “Nice place. What are you painting?”
“Thanks.”
When she didn’t say anything more, he set the boxes down. “I’ll just leave these here, then. You can open them later.”
She narrowed her gaze as if tempted to call his bluff. Then, with obvious reluctance, she took the boxes. Crossing over to the sofa, she sat down, cradling the gifts on her lap. She set the paintbrush on the edge of the table, bristles outward to keep from getting paint on her furniture.
He stood, watching her. When she opened the first box and lifted the tissue paper, she gasped. “Luke, it’s beautiful.”
She carefully lifted the shell-pink maternity top from the box and held it up against herself, touching the tiny pink pearls stitched into the silky soft fabric.
“I’m glad you like it.” There were more boxes to open, but she wasn’t looking at the gifts, only at him.
“How did you know my size?” She asked with suspicion.
“A lucky guess.” He shoved his hands in his pockets to keep from reaching for her. “I wanted you to have some of your own maternity clothes, not just hand-me-downs.”
Her eyes widened and she looked at the boxes. “Some? How much more?”
“Just a few things.” He couldn’t wait to see her wearing them. Especially the dress.
She opened a second box and held up the black dress. “Ah—where in the world did you think I’m going to wear this?”
He cleared his throat. “There’s a charity ball this weekend that I need to attend. Maybe you’d be willing to go with me? The hospital is planning to give a big thank-you to those of us who worked during the Crypto crisis.”
She stared at him, then abruptly folded the dress and placed it back in its box. “Luke, why did you do this?” She looked distressed as she set the box aside and twisted her hands together. “Did I somehow give you the impression that I wanted you to buy me these clothes this afternoon?”
He frowned. “No. Of course not.”
She continued as if she wasn’t listening. “Because if so, I’m sorry. That honestly wasn’t my intention. I shouldn’t have even gone into the stupid store. I don’t need brand-new maternity clothes. Debbie’s hand-me-downs will work just fine.”
He crossed over toward her. “Caryn, stop it. You didn’t hint that I should buy anything. This was my own idea, I swear.”
“I don’t think I should accept these gifts, Luke.” She stood, grabbed her paintbrush from the table and headed down the hall.
He followed as she turned into a small, empty bedroom with old sheets spread out to protect the floor. A bucket of yellow paint sat in the middle of the floor and a ladder, with a paint tray and roller, stood by the farthest wall.
“Caryn, what are you doing?” He frowned when she headed straight for the ladder.
“I’m painting my nursery.” There was a stubborn slant to her chin as she placed her foot on the bottom rung then took another step. “Don’t try to tell me what to do.”
He was hardly listening. “Get off that ladder, for crying out loud. What if you fall?”
She narrowed her gaze. “I’m not going to fall. In the book you gave me it mentions how most falls are a result of being off balance, and I’m not big enough to have that problem.”
“Get down.” He rolled up the sleeves of his shirt. “You’re not doing this. Step aside, I’ll paint for you.”
“No, you won’t. This is my nursery. I don’t need you telling me what to do. Go home, Luke. Stop being such a bully.”
Her accusation hit hard. “I’m sorry.” He lowered his tone, trying not to raise his voice. He stepped closer to the ladder, wishing he could lift her off to get her feet on solid ground. “I’m just worried about you, Caryn.”
“Don’t. I’m not a charity case. I don’t need you to buy me pretty clothes. I don’t need you to paint my nursery. I’m perfectly capable of raising this baby on my own.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CARYN knew she’d overreacted the moment Luke closed the door behind him as he left.
But she didn’t call him back.
Mortification still clogged the back of her throat when she thought about the gifts he’d brought her. Then he’d asked her to go to the ball and she hadn’t known what to say. Was she ready to take this next step in their relationship? What if she was mixing up her feelings for Luke with the fear of being alone?
So she’d avoided giving him an answer. Then he’d yelled at her and she’d yelled back, calling him a bully. Logically, she knew Luke wasn’t David, but when he’d come across so strong, ordering her to get down, her knee-jerk response had been automatic. When David had moved in with her, he’d taken over almost every aspect of her life, running things the way he’d wanted.
She believed Luke did care about her. But she really wasn’t a charity case, no matter how Luke obviously thought otherwise. A helping hand was one thing, but basically coming into her house and taking over was something else entirely.
And where would she draw the line? What was next? Paying off her second mortgage?
No. She really was capable of standing on her own two feet. Calmer now, she finished painting the wall, then cleaned up the mess and put everything away. When she returned to the living room, she noticed Luke’s gift boxes still sitting in the middle of her coffee-table.
Against her better judgment she picked up the pink maternity top and held it against herself. The shimmery blouse matched her coloring perfectly. The urge to try on the new clothes was overwhelming.
But she couldn’t keep them. Dropping the top back inside its box, she turned away.
She needed to make Luke understand that she wasn’t some damsel in distress that he needed to rescue.
Instead, she’d rather be the woman he was attracted to.
Caryn returned to work on Friday, but her path didn’t cross Luke’s. Her patients were stable and the residents assigned to take care of them were capable enough, answering her questions and writing the orders she needed.
A part of her longed to see Luke again but another part of her knew he’d expect an answer to his invitation. If the offer was even still open. For all she knew, he’d invited someone else.
“Hi, Caryn.” Michelle found her just before lunch. “I have something for you.” She handed Caryn an envelope.
“What is it?” Caryn asked with a frown.
“An invitation to the charity ball on Saturday night. There’s a special thank-you for all the staff members who helped out during the Crypto emergency.”
“Oh, I’ve heard about that. Thanks, Michelle.” Caryn tucked the invitation into her purse. She could easily imagine wearing the dress Luke had bought her, even though she knew she couldn’t keep it. “I’ll have to think about going.”
“Please, do. You deserve some fun after the long shifts you put in here,” Michelle urged. “I’m going, I have a babysitter to watch Brianna.”
“Great.” Caryn’s smile faded as she walked away. Was she brave enough to go alone? Why not? If she was really going to do this single-parent thing she had better get used to doing things on her own.
Luke would be there, of course, but she couldn’t expect to avoid him for ever. The typical critical care fellowship program was for three years and she wasn’t leaving a job she loved because of him.
Caryn had to work again on Sa
turday, but she was off on Sunday, which was a good thing because if she decided to go to the ball, she wouldn’t have to be up early the next day.
Later that evening, she did a load of laundry and walked past the gift boxes she’d never gotten around to returning to Luke. The boxes seemed to draw her gaze every time she went past until finally she stopped and opened one.
Giving in to temptation, she drew out the black dress, took it into her bedroom and put it on. The silky fabric draped her figure, clinging to her plump breasts in a way that emphasized her curves. She didn’t want to buy maternity stockings, so she tried a pair of thigh-highs with modest heels, and then critically surveyed her reflection in the mirror from all sides.
If not for the modest bulge of her stomach, she didn’t really look all that pregnant, she decided. And Luke’s dress flattered her figure far more than the boxy dress of Debbie’s she’d tried on the previous day.
Turning away from the mirror, she sighed. Who was she kidding? She wanted to keep the dress. Maybe she could just pay him back. Because no matter how much she tried to tell herself otherwise, she knew darned well she wanted to look nice, attractive, and sexy.
For Luke.
Caryn’s stomach fluttered with nerves as she parked her car and mounted the steps leading to the hotel. This was one of the oldest, most elegant hotels in Milwaukee, the place where all the famous people stayed while they were in town. She’d known about the hotel for years but had never once been inside the grand ballroom.
Until now.
Elegant chandeliers sparkled brightly overhead and shimmery fabric draped the walls. A band played background music as people milled around, tasting various hors d’oeuvres, until it was time for dinner. Rumor had it there would be after-dinner dancing as well. Caryn noticed there were many physicians and upper-management types in attendance, but not quite as many nurses. She ran into Dana and Mitch just as they were about to sit down for dinner. She eagerly joined them, relieved to sit with someone she knew.
Luke snuck into the empty seat beside her before she could blink. “Hi, Caryn,” he greeted her in a low, husky tone. “You look beautiful tonight.”
