All of a sudden Hailey couldn’t breathe.
CHAPTER SIX
“THAT CHILD missed his antibiotics because of your party.”
Margaret spat out the words as if they were rotten. “Fortunately I checked and opened the valve again, but I’m sure you’re aware of how serious this is, Hailey.”
Of course she was. Her worst nightmare was causing harm to any patient. Her heart gave a sickening thud and slammed against her ribs.
“Is…is he okay?”
Margaret responded with her own question. “How could a thing like this have happened? Tell me that.”
Miserable, guilty, worried sick, Hailey shook her head, trying to figure it out. “It must have been when the clown pretended to pull the rabbit from Joshua’s IV,” she finally said, and then she had the sense to glance at her watch. “That was only about a half hour ago, Margaret.” A half hour without antibiotics wasn’t a life-threatening situation in Joshua’s case. For heaven’s sake, what was she thinking?
That you’ve made what might have been a serious mistake.
An awful sense of foreboding washed over Hailey. Margaret had been waiting a long time for her to make such a mistake.
“That’s your opinion. Mine happens to be quite different.” Margaret’s plump face was suffused with triumph. “I’ve called Joshua’s doctor and asked him to come by immediately. I told him exactly what happened. And I feel I have no choice but to go to the association with this.”
Hailey stared at her, speechless. Margaret was threatening to report her to the Registered Nurses Association of B.C. over this?
Incredulous, Hailey knew it was a first step in an effort to get her license lifted. She felt sick all over again, but she wasn’t about to give Margaret the satisfaction of knowing that.
“Look, I’m terribly sorry for what happened, but I don’t agree that the situation warrants an investigation. However, I’m sure you’ll do what you feel you should, no matter what I say.” Hailey managed an even tone, but her mouth was dry, her throat constricted. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to check on Joshua myself.” She walked away from the older nurse, knees trembling. There was a linen closet off the hall, out of Margaret’s sight, and she stepped inside and shut the door.
In spite of her show of bravado, in spite of knowing the situation wasn’t as serious as Margaret was making it out to be, a little boy’s treatment had been compromised because of her.
It was the worst thing that had ever happened to her. She felt overwhelmed with guilt and remorse. She was trembling, and for a moment, hysteria almost got the better of her. But then her common sense took hold.
It was highly unlikely that Margaret could get her license lifted because of this one small mistake. The important thing was that Joshua was okay, that he’d suffered no ill effects.
She took another moment to compose herself and then went to Joshua’s room. The little boy was on his bed, engrossed in Lego, trying to fit wheels on something he’d built.
“Hey there, Josh, how ya doin’?”
“Okay. I really liked that party, Hailey. Can I have one on my birthday?”
Hailey mustered up a smile and a wink. “We’ll have to see. When’s your birthday?”
He frowned and gave it some thought. “I think October.”
“I’ll bet you’ll be home long before that, Josh. You’re getting better and better every day.” She checked him carefully. His temperature and pulse were consistent with what had been marked on the chart that morning, and as far as she could tell, he was feeling fine.
She checked and double-checked his IV, and Karen came in just as she finished.
“It’s my coffee break—walk me down to the kitchen,” Karen suggested with a wink.
As soon as they were out of earshot of the kids, Karen said in an undertone, “Did Margaret talk to you?”
“Yeah, she sure did. I feel terrible about what happened.”
“Nothing happened.” Karen blew out an exasperated breath and rolled her eyes. “That woman’s trying to turn a molehill into a mountain.”
“She’s threatening to go to the association.”
“No way.” Karen was horrified. “She has it in for you, you know that, but she’s just grasping at straws. She’d never get to first base with a formal complaint.” Karen shook her head in disgust. “It’s obvious she doesn’t enjoy her job, so why the heck does she stay?”
“You got me.” It was a question Hailey had asked herself numerous times, with no clear answer.
“Anyway, don’t let her get to you. I was there. I saw exactly what happened, and I don’t know one person on this floor who’d support her. Hailey, we all know what a great nurse you are.” Karen reached out and gave Hailey’s arm a little squeeze before she disappeared into the coffee room.
Hailey felt marginally better, but the rest of her shift was still a struggle. Margaret had gone home, and it was a relief not to have her around. Hailey did her best not to let the kids see how down she was, but of course they knew, anyway. There was no fooling kids. The older ones did their best to cheer her up, telling her jokes and funny stories. The tiny ones offered comfort just by snuggling against her as she got them into fresh pajamas and administered their bedtime meds. As usual, she spent an extra half hour with David, reading him a book he especially liked about a farm.
By the time she got home, she was both exhausted and too nerved up to sleep. She’d bought a kit to replace the innards of the contrary toilet. The flushing mechanism had never worked properly. She got it out now and read the instructions, and for an hour, she struggled with it. The instructions were so complicated that her mind couldn’t concentrate on anything else.
At last she turned the water back on and flushed the thing four or five times, thrilled when it worked perfectly. It was the only thing in the bathroom that did work. She looked around at the peeling wallpaper, the rusted old claw-footed, cast-iron tub, the drooping, water-stained ceiling. It was a disgrace, this bathroom. She’d have to fix it, and sooner rather than later.
She put away her tools and checked her phone messages. There was one from her mother, asking again if she’d called her sister. She’d totally forgotten, and for a moment she felt guilty.
What was it with Jean and Laura? Had they had a spat of some sort? They were so alike Hailey couldn’t really see that happening, but she couldn’t figure out any other reason for this thing her mother had about phoning Laura.
Hailey erased the message from the machine, but there was no way of getting it off her mind. Her mother was nothing if not persistent, Hailey thought despondently, and Jean would never give up on this until she made the call. It was ten past eleven, far too late tonight, and anyway, she was too upset from work to be objective.
She’d call first thing in the morning, she decided. She also had to buy some groceries. The weekend was coming up, and Nicole and Roy would be here Sunday for brunch.
After a bath, Hailey padded into the bedroom and pulled on her long white nightgown, fantasizing about what it would be like to make love with Roy Zedyck.
The man was so sexy. She shivered, thinking about his hands. He had good hands. Satisfying, that was how it would be. Spectacular. He was hot stuff, but he was also a caring, kind guy. From the little she’d seen of him, she thought he had his priorities in order.
He didn’t seem to want fancy cars and designer suits. He wasn’t obsessed with hockey or investments or golf, the way a lot of guys were. In his way, Roy was as single-minded and devoted to his job as she was.
The difference was that he was drop-dead handsome and could have any woman he set his sights on, whereas she—
Give it a rest. Hailey sighed and arranged her six down pillows all around her. She snuggled into her cocoon and pulled the duvet up, finishing her train of thought as her weary body relaxed.
Whereas she was…unusual-looking. She’d long ago stopped thinking of herself as ugly. She’d rationalized that she looked like Ingrid, and to
call her beloved grandmother ugly was ludicrous. Ingrid’s beauty wasn’t the ordinary kind, but it was there, shining out like a beacon for anyone who cared enough about true quality to see. Sam saw.
Thinking about beauty brought her sister to mind, and the phone call she’d vowed to make in the morning. It was insane of her mother to think that Laura would tell Hailey anything. With both Laura’s pregnancies, it hadn’t been her sister who broke the news to Hailey. It had been Jean.
And when her niece and then her nephew were born, again it had been Jean who called Hailey to tell her the good news.
If Laura didn’t share major happy things like pregnancy and childbirth with Hailey, she wasn’t going to unburden herself about anything that was bothering her, that was certain.
IN THE MORNING, Hailey waited until after nine to make the call. By then, Christopher and Samantha would be off to school, and Frank would have left for his law office.
Hailey dialed and Laura answered, her deep, throaty voice the one thing she and Hailey had in common.
“Hey, sis, haven’t heard from you in a while,” Hailey began. “How are things going?” Best to keep this light and breezy, she figured.
“Hello, Hailey.” Laura sounded weary and pissed off. “I’m okay, I guess. This thing with the cleaning service is getting me down. They were supposed to arrive at eight this morning and they’re still not here. And Frank’s partners are meeting here tonight, so of course he wants the house looking good.” She sounded irritable. “They’re just not reliable, these cleaning people, and this is the third service I’ve had this year.”
Hailey rolled her eyes. What the heck was she supposed to say to that? Her cleaning service was lodged in her hall cupboard, mops and brooms and buckets she used herself.
“Ever thought of telling Frank to have the meeting someplace else?” As soon as she’d spoken, she wished she hadn’t. Her brother-in-law was a pompous, controlling, patronizing jerk, but that was no reason to be sarcastic with Laura. “I’ve never seen your place looking anything but spotless,” she amended, though she really didn’t visit Laura’s house very often.
“How are the kids?” she went on. And because she was feeling guilty, she added, “And Frank?” After all, she wasn’t the one who’d chosen to live with him. And he did supply the standard of living Laura wanted. If things could make you happy, Laura should be ecstatic.
“They’re fine, we’re all fine.” Laura didn’t sound fine.
Hailey shook her head. Enough beating around the bush. She might as well just come out with it. Otherwise she and her sister would spend another twenty minutes talking about nothing, and she had a ton of stuff to do before she left for work.
“Mom’s worried about you, Laura. She thinks there’s something wrong that you’re not talking to her about.”
“I wish Mom would tend to her own affairs a little more and leave mine alone,” Laura snapped. “I suppose she told you to call me?”
Was she really hearing this? Jean and Laura were usually in perfect accord.
“Yeah, she did. Twice, maybe three times now. She’s worried about you, Laura. You’re not sick or anything, are you?” Sudden terrible images of breast lumps lodged in Hailey’s head.
Laura’s tone went way beyond annoyed to enraged. “I’m perfectly healthy, thank you very much. The kids are the same. There’s the doorbell—I’m going now. It had better be the cleaning service. I’ll give you a call soon, Hailey. Bye.”
Hailey gaped at the phone. Unless Laura was suffering from a really bad case of PMS, Jean was right. Something was going on that she didn’t want to talk about, something that made her grumpy as hell.
Well, as Ingrid was fond of saying, you could lead a horse to water, but you couldn’t make him drink. Laura would spill the beans in her own good time. Or not. There was nothing more Hailey could do.
But the conversation stuck in her head all morning, and she grudgingly decided to make time to visit her sister over the weekend.
ROY AND NICOLE arrived at ten before ten Sunday morning in an old blue Toyota driven by Roy. Hailey was nervous at first, but her guests were so relaxed and admiring of her house and all she’d done that she started to enjoy herself. Nicole took one look at the backyard and exclaimed, “Wow, mega potential. It’s like an empty pallet. You’re so lucky nobody’s screwed it up.”
Hailey hadn’t thought of it quite that way. “It looks more like a bomb site.”
Nicole was poking around. “Would you be insulted if I came up with some suggestions?”
“Are you kidding? I’d be eternally grateful.”
“Maybe we could eat first?” Roy shot them a pathetic look, and Hailey laughed and led the way inside.
She’d been up since six, sweating over this production. She’d set the table in the dining room, which she hardly ever used, in front of the open windows. The August sun poured through the mullioned panes and the birds sang a cappella from the old cherry tree that shaded the area where she planned to eventually build a deck.
“Where’d you get all this scrumptious old china?” Nicole touched a rose-patterned plate.
“From my grandma Ingrid. She decided to buy new stuff last year, and she gave me these.” The dishes were mismatched bits of at least three different dinner sets, but they all had roses on them in one form or another. Hailey had put an old crocheted bedspread on the table and she’d used a small pitcher of lilies of the valley for a centerpiece.
“It looks beautiful.”
Nicole’s approval was reassuring. Hailey poured cranberry juice and added ice and some of the white wine Roy had brought. She served the fruit salad and berry muffins, and the softly scrambled eggs and toast, and poured hot, strong coffee into thick mugs. The last bit of tension fled as her guests devoured everything and asked for seconds.
After brunch Nicole went out to have another look at the garden.
Roy insisted on helping with the dishes, so Hailey washed and he dried. She brought him up-to-date on what was happening with David.
“He’s off the IV.” She rinsed a dish and handed it to him. “He likes going to the playroom with the other kids, and he’s smiling a lot more now—talking, too. But he asks about his mom all the time.” She scrubbed a frying pan, wondering what made Roy smell so good. She didn’t think it was cologne. Maybe it was just good, clean, healthy male, up close and personal. “A woman came by to visit him, Cabral was her name. She said she was a friend of his mother’s. No sign of her yet, I guess?”
Roy shook his head and reached for a dry dish towel, his shoulder brushing hers. The contact sent a small shiver down Hailey’s spine.
“Nothing. The neighbor who found David thought she saw her in a car outside the apartment building one day, but she couldn’t be sure, and by the time the cops got there she was gone.”
“What’s going to happen to him when the doctor decides he can be released?” It was a question that had been gnawing at her. “Now that he’s off the IV, it won’t be long.”
“He’ll go into foster care. I’m doing my best to find him really good foster parents, but the family I had in mind have an outbreak of chicken pox, and with David just out of hospital, that’s not a good idea. There’s always more kids than there are places to put them. I thought I had a line on a couple the other day, but another baby ended up with them, and they haven’t got room for one more now.”
Hailey wiped at a stain on the counter, wondering if she dared ask the question that had kept her awake most of the previous night. She drew in a breath and let it out.
“Roy, I don’t suppose there’s any chance I could take him?”
CHAPTER SEVEN
HAILEY TURNED AWAY from him and started scrubbing the stove. She kept her head down, not wanting him to see how much his answer meant to her. “I know I’m not approved as a foster parent,” she added in a rush, “but they just called me yesterday and said I’m fully approved to adopt now. Surely that’s pretty much the same thing?”
He didn’t answer right away, and the knot in her stomach grew tighter.
“You really care for David, don’t you, Hailey?” He stopped drying dishes and leaned back against the counter, giving her his full attention. His voice was soft and the look he gave her was filled with understanding.
She nodded, embarrassed to have him see the silly tears that filled her eyes and threatened to roll down her cheeks.
“Yup, big time,” she managed after a minute. “Which is why I can’t bear to think of him getting shoved someplace where there’s already too many kids, where he wouldn’t be special, where—where nobody has time to read him the farm book at bed time.”
“You do understand that he’s not available for adoption and may never be?”
She nodded again. She’d troubled over that one at length.
“If we locate Shannon, she can petition the court to have him back. She’d have to prove she was responsible, of course. And although it doesn’t look likely, if relatives turned up, they’d have first claim on him.” Roy reached out and touched her arm. “I guess what I’m trying to say is that fostering isn’t a very secure position to be in when you love a child and want to keep him, Hailey.”
“I know how insecure it would be.” Hailey had thought of that. She’d raised all the arguments against taking him that she could dream up, but they didn’t tip the scales enough to dissuade her. “I’d still like to try, Roy. If I don’t try, I haven’t any chance at all with him.”
“That’s true.” He hung the dish towel on the wooden rack she’d installed beside the stove. “You’re up against the system here. Being approved as a foster parent doesn’t guarantee you any special child. You pretty much have to take whatever you get.”
She hadn’t thought about that. She gave him a stricken glance. “You mean I could get approved and still not get David?”
Roy nodded. “But there’s also a chance you might. Once you’re approved, of course.”
“How…how long would that take?”
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