When I looked back to the main room, the crowd had grown significantly. All seats were taken and people were standing off to the sides. The double doors to the room were opened wide and people were also gathered there. The ambient temperature had risen and I soon felt cool air circulating, accompanied by the gentle hum of an air conditioning system. People spoke in hushed voices and I could hear the occasional sob of someone experiencing deep grief. I held onto Saul’s hand that much harder.
Soon, the hushed voices began to trail off as a middle aged lady carrying a violin walked up the center aisle. She took a seat behind the podium, well behind the tiny coffin and all of the flowers. She began playing a mournful, slow type of music. The tune was vaguely familiar but I couldn’t quite place it. I had only been to one funeral before, but the music had been piped in through speakers. This was much more personal. The older couple sitting by the man and his little girl looked devastated, and the woman began crying quietly.
After the melody ended, an older gentleman stood from the front row and walked to the podium. He arranged a few papers before he began to speak.
“Today is a day of mourning, but also of celebration of the lives of Virginia Hathaway and baby Grace-Anna Hathaway. One of the hardest parts of my job as a man of God is to explain the loss of a child. Of an infant. An innocent baby. How can I sit and tell parents that it was ‘God’s will’? How can I explain why God would take such a precious life from our world to hold in His arms in Heaven?” The man stopped speaking and looked down at his stack of papers. I could tell he was struggling. He cleared his throat and began again. “I don’t always have the words. I don’t always have the answers. I’ve been pastor and friend to the Hathaway family for many years now. I baptized little Virginia when she herself was a baby. I baptized baby Grace-Anna just weeks ago. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that God would call either of them home this soon. Rest assured, though, that they are both in His kingdom now, walking streets of gold and looking down over Jason: husband and father. And over big sister Angela. Virginia was a Godly woman. A devoted wife and a loving mother. She came to speak to me one day, before Grace-Anna was born. She told me that the greatest gift she’d ever been given wasn't that of her own life, but rather that of her children. She was a teacher and role model to so many in our community. When she held that sweet baby or looked at young Angela, her eyes lit up. Her heart soared.” He took another deep breath and I could tell he was fighting tears. “If someone needed help, she was always willing. Heaven is a brighter place with her and baby Grace-Anna. That I do believe. Mourning is for us still living. For those of us left behind. We cry for what we have lost. We should celebrate the lives they lived while here on earth, and we should celebrate the fact that they are staring at the face of God at this very moment. Yes, we should celebrate, but God gave us the ability to feel sadness and despair. In our grief, the best we can do is to try to remember what a blessing we were given in their brief lives; however short they were. And that one day, we will see them again. Family has asked to speak, so I’ll turn the podium over to Jason. After he speaks, we welcome first other family and then friends to speak if they wish. Jason?” The pastor looked to the man who was comforting the little girl.
The man took his hand from his daughter, and who I assumed was her grandfather took her other hand in his while Jason walked to the podium. His hair was dark and slightly disheveled. His shirt was wrinkled.
“Thank you, everyone, for coming today.” He spoke slowly, and I could tell he was fighting to hold himself together. “There’s a lot I want to say, and I wrote it down. I knew I’d probably have trouble remembering to tie my own shoes today, let alone remember everything I want to say. I lost my wife that day. I lost the mother of my children. I lost my sweet baby Gracie not even two days later.”
He closed his eyes and slumped forward against the podium and took a shuddering breath. I saw someone near him in age and with similar features stand from the front row and walk toward him. Jason held his hand out to indicate that he wanted to continue.
“I want to thank a Good Samaritan for giving me that extra time with my baby girl. I know he’s here today, but I don’t know his name or what he looks like. But I know he’s here today.”
Jason looked at the audience, then over to our alcove. I squeezed Saul’s hand.
“I need to see you, if you could please stand? Just let me thank you in person. For giving me my Gracie for another day.”
Saul stood, letting go of my hand. Jason smiled weakly and gestured for him to come forward. When they were within arm’s reach, they shook hands. Jason followed with a desperate hug and began sobbing as he mumbled ‘thank you’ over and over. Saul held onto the man as he began to slump to the ground, eventually helping him stand back up. Jason was unable to speak, so Saul stood next to him at the podium.
“My name’s Saul. I was the one who ran back in and took baby Grace from the fire. Her mother was screaming for someone to help her baby. By the time I got to Grace, I wasn't able to go back for her mom. I wish so badly I could have saved them both. Maybe I could have given them each another day. I wish to God that they both could have lived. So many lives were lost. It’s just…senseless.” Saul hung his head and I saw him wipe away a tear from his eye. “I wish I had words of comfort,” he continued. “Mr. Hathaway. Angela. I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m so sorry.”
I could hear the little girl who was sitting across the room from us whimper. Her grandfather stood and lifted her into his arms, carrying her from the service.
The man who shared features with Jason stood again and took the place of both Jason and Saul. As Saul resumed his seat next to me, I leaned against my lover and we took comfort in each other’s presence. I could tell he was shaken. The rest of the service lasted an hour; so many people spoke. Virginia and baby Grace were well loved and I could tell would be desperately missed.
CHAPTER 19 ~ SHARING SAUL
The funeral service lasted a lot longer than I had expected; not that I had really known what to expect. I hadn’t realized, either, that there would be a graveside service directly following. As we walked across the lush green grass of the cemetery, I was glad I had opted to not wear high heels. The sun was shining and birds were twittering almost as if singing to the lost baby.
The violinist again played a song, this time with a slightly happier tune. I know that words were said and I know that people cried, but I have no recollection of exact sentiments. My attention had been too focused on the tiny coffin. Saul kept an arm around my shoulders the entire time. There were too many people in attendance to rush our exit, so once the crowd was dismissed we stood with Joe and Justine beside our car. Saul’s truck had been left where he first parked it a few blocks from the funeral home. We had decided to all go in one vehicle to dinner after the service.
Jason Hathaway, with young Angela in tow, approached us. It was hard to imagine what they were going through. I listened as Mr. Hathaway again thanked Saul for saving his baby and giving them precious extra time with her before she died. I looked down at little Angela. She looked so very scared and sad. I knelt down and took her hands in mine as her father was giving a business card to Saul.
“Hi Angela,” I said quietly.
“Hello,” she said in a tiny high-pitched voice.
“My name’s Hattie.”
“I’m Angela, but most people call me Angie. My mommy and baby sister died.”
Her eyes were filling with tears and as one began to roll down her cheek I took the handkerchief out of my clutch and dabbed at it.
“Did you know that when I was a little girl my mommy died too?”
The little girl shook her head side to side. “What happened?”
“When my twin brother and I were born something happened that made her very sick. She died when we were only a couple of hours old.”
“Do you remember her?” asked the little girl.
“I was too little to remember her. But, my daddy gave me
pictures of her so that I will always know what she looked like and this necklace and these earrings were hers. When I wear them it’s kind of like she’s here with me. And I know that your mommy loved you very much and will be watching over you and your daddy.”
Angela looked up at her father and tugged at his suit jacket. “Daddy, Daddy! I need mommy’s earrings and necklace!”
Mr. Hathaway leaned down and scooped the girl up into his arms. “I’m sure I have the perfect ones for you at home, Munchkin.”
“Now, Daddy! We have to go get them now!” she said with desperation in her little voice.
“What’s the rush, Babydoll?”
“If I wear her necklace and earrings I’ll feel her with me.”
I reached my hand out to touch the girl on the shoulder. “Ahh, sweetie, you’ll feel her with you anytime you need her to be there. See how sunny it is?”
The little girl nodded and looked up to the blue sky.
“Then close your eyes,” said Saul. “Do you feel the heat on your face?”
The girl clenched her eyes shut. “Yes,” whispered Angela.
“That’s your mama shining her light down on you. Straight from Heaven,” he whispered.
How Saul knew what I was going to tell the little girl, I had no idea. Angela let go of her father and reached out for Saul to take her in his arms, which he did without hesitation. She hugged him tight and began sobbing. I looked over at Joe and Justine, who were both in tears. The line of cars was beginning to move and Mr. Hathaway took Angela from Saul.
“We need to get going, Munchkin. We’re having a private family reception afterward, but of course you guys are welcome to join us,” said Mr. Hathaway.
Saul extended his hand to the man. “We appreciate the offer, but this is a time for true family.”
“Call me in the next few days? Just…keep in touch?” asked the widower.
Little Angie looked at Saul with her big watery eyes. “Will you come play with me sometime?” she asked pitifully.
“You bet, if it’s okay with your daddy.”
“Hattie will you come too?” she asked, breaking her gaze from Saul only briefly.
“Sure, Angie. Sure I will.”
“I’ll tell you what; Hattie and I are leaving town tomorrow for a little while. I’ll bring you back something really nice, and come over to deliver it myself as soon as we’re home,” said Saul while looking at Mr. Hathaway for his approval.
“That’d be real nice. We’ll have you over for dinner. Just call when you get back?” said Mr. Hathaway.
“You bet. See ya later, gator,” said Saul as he pretended to steal the little girl’s nose.
As her dad carried her to their car, she waved back at us. “Bye Saul. Bye Hattie! Have a good trip!”
“That poor thing,” whispered Justine. I had almost forgotten she and Joe were there. “You did so good with her.”
“Let’s get moving, huh?” interrupted Joe.
I wrapped my arms around Saul briefly before we ducked into the car and let Joe drive us into Anacortes for dinner.
***
We settled on a small Italian restaurant that was known for good food, good service, and a quiet atmosphere. It was dimly lit and smelled of garlic. Once seated, we ordered drinks and Saul agreed to split an order of lasagna with me. While I was hungry, I knew I wouldn’t be able to eat much after the intense emotions the day had brought.
Joe cleared his throat once we had all placed our orders. “So, you two are headed out of town tomorrow?”
Saul sipped at his water before answering. “I thought Hattie could use some time away. Try to deal with all the after effects of the explosion.”
“Where are you headed?” asked Justine, who was sipping on her 7-Up that had just arrived.
“Maui,” answered Saul as the waiter handed him a beer.
Joe whistled. “Yikes. Serious?”
“He insisted,” I mumbled into my water glass.
“That’ll be a first,” said my brother. “You excited?”
I nodded. “Yeah. It’ll be nice to get away. Hey, there’s something else I need to talk to you and Justine about. Don’t freak out, okay?”
“Uh-oh,” said Justine, wide-eyed.
“What is it, Hat?” asked Joe, leaning forward and looking worried. I noticed he glanced at Saul with not the nicest of expressions. “You’re not knocked up, are you?”
I briefly choked on my own spit before being able to answer. “No, Joe! God. It’s nothing bad.”
Saul placed his hand on my thigh beneath the table. “Hattie and I talked and she’s decided to move in with me.”
“Move in? Doesn’t it seem a bit soon?” asked Joe.
“Yeah we know,” I said. “But it makes sense. I know we barely just met, but it’s like it was fate that we did. We want to be together…and you guys need room for the baby.”
“Aww, Hat, that’s really sweet,” said Justine. “But it’s your house too. We can move out just as easily.”
“No. I want you to raise the baby there. For as long as you want.” I looked over at Saul. “And this is what I want; to live with Saul.”
Joe hung his head in thought for a moment. “I’m not sure it’s the best decision, sis. But it’s yours to make. We’ll support your choice, but you’re always welcome in your own home. You understand, right?”
“Of course I do.”
Joe looked Saul straight in the eyes from across the table. “And you better not hurt her. Understand?”
Saul smiled. “Loud and clear.”
“Okay, glad we got that out of the way.” Joe’s demeanor instantly relaxed. “Did I hear right that you leave tomorrow? For Hawaii?”
I looked at Saul for confirmation. He hadn’t given me any details and I hadn’t realized he had already booked things.
“At eleven in the morning. We’ll leave out of SeaTac,” said Saul.
“Do you need a ride to the airport? My schedule’s open.”
“Actually, I’d appreciate that, Joe. Thanks,” said Saul as the waiter arrived with our dinner order.
Looking at the food, my stomach growled. I ended up eating most of the order, leaving Saul very little. He assured me it was okay, that he was fine. We stayed and talked with my brother and his new wife for nearly an hour before deciding to call it a night.
On the drive back to Fidalgo Bay, Saul and I sat in the back seat. We talked quietly, and I leaned against him the entire drive.
“So we’ll be in Hawaii tomorrow night?” I whispered to him.
“Uh-huh.”
“How’d you get tickets so last minute?”
“I have my secrets,” he said with a wink.
“Tomorrow’s a week,” I said with a smile.
“Uh-huh. It sure is.” He wrapped an arm around me and pulled me closer, kissing top of my head. “You look beautiful today, by the way.”
“I’m not even sure what to pack. I should probably head home and get ready there. Joe and I could pick you up in the morning.”
“Sounds good, except I’ll miss you tonight.”
“How long will we be gone?”
“Two weeks in paradise, sweet thing. Just pack a bikini and some lingerie and that should do it.”
“I heard that,” said Joe from the front seat.
Saul chuckled. “Seriously, the resort I booked has laundry in the rooms so you don’t need to bring too much. Just remember you can’t carry on liquids onto the plane unless each is under three ounces, and you have to pack them into a quart-sized Ziploc baggie. Two carry-ons each and we can check anything bigger.”
“Hey Joe, can I borrow your luggage set?” I called up front.
“Sure, sis.”
Saul began stroking my hair, which I found soothing.
“You’ll love the place we’re staying. It’s right on Ka’anapali Beach and not far from Black Rock and the Ioa Valley. There’s great snorkeling and tons of sea turtles. It’s a bit past humpback season, but if we’re
lucky we might see one or two.”
“How many times have you been there?”
“Just a few. It’s one of my favorite places. My folks took me there when I was a little boy and I’ve gone back by myself a few times. The resort has three swimming pools and three or four hot tubs. Oh and a cool kiddie pool with a pirate ship theme.”
“You were really good with Angela after the service,” I whispered, finding his hand and grabbing onto it.
“She’s a cutie. I feel horrible for her and her dad.”
We drove the rest of the way in silence. Saul drove himself home and I remained in Joe’s car. I packed what I figured I’d need, which wasn't much. Being low maintenance overall, I settled on two bikinis, four pairs of shorts, a skirt, a few t-shirts, one blouse, under things, and a pair of sandals. The suitcase was the smaller kind on wheels, and I would carry it aboard the plane instead of checking anything. I packed a smaller bag with two paperbacks, some Kleenex, my hair brush, lip balm, my iPhone charger, and my next two birth control patches. I added a small lap blanket for the flight. After setting out a sundress in which to travel, a matched set of white lace bra and panties, and sparkly flip-flops, I climbed into bed and tried to force myself to sleep. An unusual mixture of sadness from the day and excitement about the next made sleep difficult.
CHAPTER 20 ~ FLYING HIGH
It was a long drive to the airport, upward of two hours. We had left early to allow for plenty of time for going through security and finding the right gate. Joe had seemed somewhat disgruntled and hadn’t said much on the drive. Justine had stayed home to rest before she was due to start her shift at two o’clock that afternoon.
This Side of the Sun (The Sun Trilogy) Page 15
