Jax throws his hands up in the air and starts pacing. “I wasn’t there. I should have been there. But you…you insisted that I be the one to come train you at the Cross during your school break. Remember that? So I left her with Blake. I had a bad feeling, so I went back early.”
I nod. Yeah, I remember. I faked a fight with our father…told him that if he wanted me to be trained, he better send Jax. The real reason I’d called for Jax was to get an update on Kira. My mother had told me they had disappeared from Military City after a Militant Exiler went after Kira. I needed to know she was okay and get her back under the Ten’s protection. Jax refused to tell me where he had her stashed and was furious I’d wasted his time. Then he took off without any explanation.
Jax runs his hand through his hair and then wipes the sweat from his brow. “I came back to a horror scene. She’d been sliced open by a skilled surgeon. Blake and Bailey walked in on it. The intruder got away with one of the babies. Blake went after him, and I had to stay to finish the delivery.”
“Bailey told Blake that it was bad—that there was no way she’d make it. That she wasn’t conscious when you took her away. That she’d lost too much blood.”
I’ve never once seen Jax get emotional, but tears are streaming down his face as he stares off at a blank wall. “I took her to the Cross. I gave her my blood. I’m a ‘universal’ donor, and the need was urgent. It was touch and go for nights even with the doctors working around the clock—for both her and…” He cuts himself off and shakes his head. Given that he won’t look at me, I know he’s keeping something from me.
“What aren’t you telling me, Jax?”
“Go meet your son, Ethan.” He gestures to the doorway where Kira is rocking a dark-haired baby.
I walk over and look down at my son for the first time. He’s so much bigger than the newborns I’ve seen. Tears well up in my eyes. Of joy—and anger. I’ve missed so much. I never got to see his heartbeat on an ultrasound screen. Feel him kick. Watch him be born. See his first smile and laugh. Instead, I mourned Kira’s death and tried to move on. I cringe at my predicament but realize I’ll have to deal with the consequences of my actions later.
Kira holds the baby out to me, and I take him into my arms. “Zander, this is your daddy.”
Zander. Yet another thing I missed out on—naming him. Kira openly cries at the sight of us together. She deserves to be upset. I lock my eyes on to my son’s and refuse to look at her. My baby looks like me. He has my eyes, my hair. Her lips though. I glance over at Kira to confirm but see that Jax is offering her the comfort I didn’t. They are furiously whispering into each other’s ears.
I realize something. I’ve hated myself these last few months. Blaming myself. Punishing myself for every action I took after Blake told me she died.
Kira meant everything to me. I built my whole world around her. I would have died for her.
But she betrayed me. They betrayed me.
I’d never have done what I did if they’d been honest with me.
I loved Kira.
Now I think I hate her. I hate them both.
They deserve to suffer like I did. By bringing Kira back as my Cleave—Cleaved to one of the Ten—that will make her suffer. And Jax…Jax defied the Ten. He got Arbiter support to do it. He’s going to pay for running and for hiding her. I know that I’m supposed to be on the side of the Arbiters—their mole in the Ten. But what Jax did has me questioning where my loyalties should lie.
It’s time to separate my Cleave from my brother. They’ve been playing house with my son long enough.
I turn to Kira, who is standing alone, and instruct, “Pack your things. We’re leaving in fifteen minutes.”
“Military City? Seriously?” Kira sneers. “I left with you willingly. I don’t think I need hundreds of thousands of guards.” She’s unpacking her few belongings into one of the lavish apartments provided for members of the Ten who visit. Unlike Garden City where there are only two kinds of homes for everyone—one and two bedroom—for the elite, Military City has everything from the “Presidential” to “junior” suites. As a member of the Ten, I rank “Presidential,” so we have over 10,000 feet of space including a full staff to serve us. The various levels of commanders get assigned “accommodations to fit their status.” The troops get military bunkers.
Is she really complaining about leaving the tiny apartment Jax had her holed up in? I’ve brought her to a pristine palace. She should be grateful. “From what I understand, you and Jax managed to escape here before. We’re not here because of you but because I’m on assignment.”
She softens her look, and it takes some effort to remind myself that I can’t trust her. She’s in bed—quite literally—with the Arbiters. “For how long? What kind of assignment?”
“I don’t know and none of your business.”
Her eyes get a little glassy, and I watch as a tear escapes and streams down her face. Given that she cried nonstop the whole way here, I didn’t think she’d have any tears left. Kira shakes her head. “Wow. You’ve really changed. Or maybe you were always this way, and I never spent enough time to get to know the real you. I’ll just go and check on Zander.” She turns to leave, but I grab her arm.
“No need. He has both a night and a day nurse. They live in the apartment and will tend to him.”
She yanks her arm from me and glares. “Are you kidding me, Ethan? He’s my son. Our son. He needs his mother. And I need him. He’s all I have left. Your colleagues have taken everyone else from me. My parents. My brother. My friends. My other…” Tears are streaming down her face.
“I’m sorry. Orders from the Ten. They don’t trust you to not take off with the Heir of Thera again.”
Her mouth is hanging open. “You are one of the Ten. Why don’t you come right out and say it—you don’t trust me.”
I probably shouldn’t be noticing how beautiful she is right now, but I can’t help it. She’s filled out a little from the pregnancy, but, if anything, that makes her look more attractive. Despite the fact she’s wearing no makeup and has on ratty sweats and a t-shirt—that are far from SCI-approved and likely belong to Jax given their size—she looks stunning.
“Kira, you let me believe you were dead. You kept me from my own son. And despite being Cleaved to me, I found you this eve in bed with my brother. Yeah, I don’t trust you. At all.”
I might has well have slapped her across the face. She looks devastated.
“For the last year I have been a wreck. A wreck. I’ve been through intensive therapy. People from the SCI—not Militant Exilers like your mother would ask me to believe—have tried to kill me, repeatedly.”
“Who? Who was trying to kill you? It wasn’t the Ten. I’m sure of that.” My mother and the rest of the Ten had been furious when Kira disappeared, pregnant with the “future of Thera.” They have “big plans” to train our children from their youth to be future leaders of Thera and Earth.
“I don’t know. What I do know is that whoever is behind it had me paralyzed and then sliced open like a piece of meat. My son was stolen from me. Can you even fathom that? Can you? I still can’t, and I have to relive it every time I close my eyes. Jax helps me through my day terrors. He has been my rock and my best friend. That’s it. I have never been unfaithful to you with Jax or anyone else. Not even a kiss. I have not been in any kind of state to even contemplate such a thing. Can you say the same, Ethan? Can you? How is Alexa Knight? Miss Beautiful Face of the Clean Slate Campaign back on Earth? I bet when you have your arms wrapped around her, it’s not because she’s having a day terror. I hope you’ve enjoyed your carefree life while I’ve been healing from major surgery and staying up all day with your son.”
Kira stomps out of the room and slams the door.
I guess she knows.
Six weeks prior: Garden City, Thera
“So I don’t get it. Your hometown is only accessible by boat?” Alexa Knight asked me. My Aunt Violet and Uncle Victor, who ran the SCI�
��s Clean Slate Complex in Los Angeles, had chosen Alexa for the “face” of the SCI’s Clean Slate Campaign on Earth. After seeing Alexa’s “before” and “after” pictures, I can see why. She’d been living in the back of a van with her mother and brothers. An SCI bus happened to be driving by as she was being attacked by a drug addict. The bus stopped, and a Clean Slate Complex employee saved her. Post SCI-makeover Alexa looked stunning—her buffed mocha skin and dark eyes were a stark contrast to the white shirt and designer jeans she was wearing. She pulled her curly, dark hair back into a messy bun to combat the salty wind of our boat ride.
I’d gotten roped into taking her and my annoying cousin Joshua—Violet and Victor’s son—back to Thera for an “educational visit.” Or more like scare the crap out of the new girl, so that she would toe the line. It’s not like I could say no since I’d been assigned to work with my aunt and uncle as legal counsel for the Clean Slate Complex. The complex took in hundreds of homeless, poor, and afflicted who needed to get back on their feet and gave them housing and jobs. From what I could tell, the results had been staggeringly positive, but I had a feeling there was more to the complexes than was advertised.
I’d met Alexa once before at an SCI fundraiser, right after Blake had told me Kira died during childbirth. So I’d been a little preoccupied that night with how I was going to find Jax and beat the crap out of him for letting Kira die. Unfortunately, decking him didn’t make me feel any better about the situation.
“It’s the best way to get you there,” Joshua responded.
“I didn’t ask you. I asked Ethan.” Alexa snapped at Joshua.
He dropped his head and started humming a tune and drumming a beat on the seat cushion. “The many faces of Alexa Knight—today’s flavor has got some bite. She just told me to go fly a kite. Maybe she’ll sleep better the next night, else she’ll truly become a fright when she sees Thera’s lack of light.”
I chuckled when Alexa punched Joshua in the arm—hard. Any girl who refused to put up with Joshua’s crap got my automatic respect. Everyone had a relative that grated on their nerves. Joshua was mine.
I wanted no part of whatever drama they had going, but I needed to play the part of Theran tour guide. One of the many “perks” of being a member of the Ten.
“It will make sense soon,” I told her. I looked at my watch and then off into the horizon to try to gauge our progress. “It’s not too far.”
“I just don’t get how heading out into the open ocean will get us anywhere other than shark bait central,” Alexa responded.
“Truer words have never been spoken.” Joshua laughed. “My Aunt Vienna—Ethan’s mom—definitely has some bite to her. She’s a nasty one. As for the trip, I told you, Alexa, that this is one of those ‘seeing is believing’ kind of things.”
Alexa rolled her eyes. “If Ethan’s mom is a shark, what does that make your parents, Joshua?” Despite being a member of the Ten, I hadn’t been clued in to the true purpose behind the Clean Slate Complexes on Earth. I knew they screened people for DNT and those who had high enough levels were recruited into the SCI, but I was sure there was more going on than some shady bloodwork.
Joshua didn’t answer Alexa directly but started singing again. “Predatory cats stalking their prey, luring them in…making them stay. Using them. Mauling them. Shredding them. Killing them. There’s no use running away, for they win every game they play.”
“Shut up, Joshua.” I glared at him. I didn’t know how much Alexa knew about the SCI, but I didn’t want to be the one fielding her questions.
“What?” Joshua grinned. “Have you met my parents? Maybe you should come live with them for a while, and I’ll go hang out at Uncle Henry’s estate.” Clearly Joshua suffered from a “grass is always greener” affliction since I considered living with my Uncle Henry—who was the Democratic front-runner in the US presidential election—only a slight notch up from living on Thera.
I needed to change the subject. “So, Alexa, tell me about your parents.”
Whereas she’d been smiling at the exchange between Joshua and me a moment before, her expression froze over. “My dad left us a few years back, and my mom passed away two weeks ago. She’d been in a coma for a while, but I’d always hoped she’d come out of it.”
I put my hand atop hers and stared into her dark eyes. “I’m so sorry. I just lost someone I loved too. So I know how hard it is.” It had been six weeks since I got the news that Kira had died. I was a wreck over it. I’d only recently returned to work. I knew I had to move past it but didn’t know how.
Alexa understood my pain. I could see it in the look she gave me. The moment, however, was interrupted by our arrival at the portal.
“What the hell?” Alexa said upon seeing the shoddy warehouse sitting atop the ocean water.
“More like portal to hell.” Joshua muttered. “Come on. You’ve been wanting answers. Let’s go enlarge and boggle your mind and all that.”
Jax arrived our second night on Thera at Joshua’s behest. He’d apparently made a promise to Alexa to show her that a friend of hers, Adam, was alive and well here on Thera. Adam was the Clean Slate Complex employee who had saved Alexa’s life back on Earth. Here on Thera though, he was with the Exilers. So, to get beyond the Eco barrier, Jax’s special skill was needed. The same ability ran in my blood—something that I couldn’t let anyone in the SCI know. Jax, for some unfathomable reason, had told Joshua about his “talent” and had swore him to secrecy. A rather impressive threat must have been involved.
“I have an hour, tops,” Jax said as he checked his watch.
I decided to push his buttons. Kira’s memory haunted me in Garden City, and I wanted Jax to share my pain. “What’s your hurry? I can’t imagine you got another assignment after failing your last one.”
He didn’t seem at all happy to see me, perhaps since the last time I saw him I hit him. “You should stay here.”
I shook my head at him. I couldn’t keep the venom out of my words. “No way. I’m supposed to have Alexa in sight at all times. And I don’t trust you to protect her.”
Jax bit down on his lip and clenched his fists. His golden eyes looked like they were on fire. “Be careful what you say to me, Ethan. You think you have lost so much, yet you have so much more than you deserve, and others have lost so much more than you.”
Despite my promise to myself to never get violent again, I shoved him. “I’m in no mood for your word games. Let’s get this done with. My mother’s keeping close tabs on our whereabouts.”
Alexa pulled me back and whispered. “Don’t let him get to you. I want you to come with so that I’ll feel safe.” She took my hand and interlaced her fingers with mine. We’d gotten to know each other pretty well the last couple nights. Joshua had upset her upon our arrival, and she’d clocked him in the eye. That made her best friend material as far as I was concerned. Joshua and I hadn’t gotten along since he sang an evening-long rendition of “Ethan and the Bimbo Queen” at one of my Uncle Henry’s fundraisers.
Jax looked at the two of us holding hands and huffed. “Joshua, you are okay with this?” Even though I’d sensed that Alexa and Joshua had history, I had no idea how much. Besides, Alexa and I had a lot in common just having suffered huge losses. I felt connected to and comforted by her. The fact that it pissed off Jax made it even better. I gave Alexa’s hand a gentle squeeze.
Joshua shrugged and rubbed his bruised eye. “He can have her. Pretty Boy could use some roughing up.” Without missing a beat, he broke out into song. “Mr. Perfect needs a shiner. You see…he’s a Ten…but he’s also a whiner.” If there was ever a person who deserved to be born without vocal cords…
Jax practically spat at me. “Your stupidity knows no bounds. You never deserved her.” To Alexa he narrowed his eyes and instructed. “Remember that games can be won and lost. Now, hold on to my arm. It’s time to head to the Exiler camp. This will be like going through a portal…just one that I make rather than one you have to wa
lk through—and where you don’t dry heave.” He emphasized the need to keep this mode of transport “quiet” and that the consequences for outing him would be most severe.
I grabbed Jax’s arm too, being sure to hold on extra tight. The Garden City suite faded out, and dark desert scape faded in. We arrived near a controlled bonfire, in front of a large cave where lunch was being cooked but out of sight of the Exilers. As we approached, the night watch raised their guns and pointed them at us. Intellectually understanding the conditions the Exilers live in and seeing them in person were two very different things. The unsanitary conditions. The primitive nature of it all. The inhumanity. I didn’t understand how they were able to survive with what little they had.
Alexa screamed at the sight of the guns pointed our way. She was not enjoying her field trip to Thera. Apparently, knowing that her employers rule over an entire planet had her a little upset. It had been a lot for her to take in. And Garden City was palatial and civilized compared to the Exiler camp. The guards stepped forward and surrounded us.
Jax raised his voice. “Put the guns down. Now. We’re here to see Adam Caster.”
A tall blonde came out of the cave. One that reminded me of the blind date who inspired Joshua’s “Queen Bimbo” tune. She looked us all over. To the guards she said, “They’re friendlies.” She chuckled at Jax. “Well, well, well. Jax Christo. The last time I saw you we were doing surgery together.”
“Surgery that would not have been necessary had you not lured Blake out of the house, Bailey. I don’t think it’s the time to reopen those particular wounds, though. I assume Blake’s still gone?” Jax asked. I squeeze my eyes shut. I miss you, Kira. So much. Alexa gently rubbed the top of my hand while I took deep breaths.
The blonde responded, “Yeah. Like he had a choice. Who are your friends?”
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