My face grows warm and I look away. “Often. Why didn’t you try to find me?”
“I did. Often. How could you have let me think that you were dead?”
I squirm in my seat and slowly finish chewing a bite of food. This one is tricky, as I didn’t think I could rely on him at the time. The only one I could rely on was Jax. But I say, “Because my life and your son’s life were in danger. I needed to focus on recovering and caring for Zander—not worrying about more risks from your association with the Ten. It was never meant to be permanent—only temporary. I didn’t do it to hurt you but to save him.” I point to Zander and then pause for a second to see if Ethan seems satisfied with my response. “Why did you move on so fast?”
He shakes his head. “I didn’t move on. I coped. Poorly. Do you love Jax?”
I’m not sure I like this game. The subtext is swirling with anger, hurt, resentment, and jealousy. “Yes. I love him. He has been there for me like no one has ever been there for me before. Am I in love with him? I’m too screwed up to even contemplate such a thing—and I can assure you Jax doesn’t think of me that way. Why do you even care? You made it quite clear that your ‘love’ for me is all in the past.”
Ethan’s eyes grow wide and get a little glassy. “I lied. It isn’t so much in the past as…to be honest, I’m not sure sometimes whether I love you or hate you. I think, maybe, both. Do you still love me?”
The oxygen seems to have departed the room. He still loves me? I look at the babies who have dozed off. Zander’s holding Ethan’s left hand pinky finger and Aiden’s holding mine. “I’m not sure that I really even know you. We missed out on the whole courting phase of the relationship—which, given everything that has happened lately, could have been quite illuminating.” We both need a change of topic. This is making me angry. It feels less like “clearing the air” and more like “venting.” This can’t be healthy. “How do you feel about being a father?”
“Like it will never be right the way things are now…like a critical piece of my family is missing. Why did you have our Cleaving dissolved?”
“Because…you walked back into my life after a year and acted like I was a possession. You didn’t resemble the kind, soft-spoken, amazing, thoughtful guy I fell for at all. Instead, you were like a caveman and in such a jealous rage that you threatened to kill Jax. You dragged him in front of the Ten and told them Jax was an Arbiter. What happened to you?”
I might as well have slapped him across the face again. “I lost the only thing I’d ever cared about. The only thing that gave me hope. The only person I’d ever wanted to spend my life with. Can we be fixed?”
“I don’t know. I’m broken. We’re broken. Can we stop this?”
“No, Kira. We’re never going to stop this.” He gestures between us with his free hand. Tears are flowing freely down my face. I think my tear ducts may be broken too. There’s nothing to regulate the constant flow.
I hear footsteps approach, but I’m too busy trying to decipher all the hidden meanings in Ethan’s words to care. “So sorry to interrupt this quaint little family dinner—not that the whole family is assembled. But Blake, Joshua, and I have urgent business to discuss with Ethan.”
I shut my eyes and wipe my tears before I can look up at Jax. He’s angry? Even though he has avoided me for the past week. What gives? Jax is rigid. His fists are balled at his sides, knuckles white. His eyes are darting between Ethan, Zander, and Aiden. He won’t look at me. Blake seems to be trying hard to suppress a laugh. Another guy is standing next to Blake—one that I recognize from Brad’s coup of the Ten meeting. He’s glaring at Ethan too. Interesting.
Ignoring Jax, I turn to Blake. “I don’t believe I’ve met your friend.”
Blake smirks. “Kira, meet my—and Ethan’s—cousin, Joshua Black, son of Victor and Violet Black who run the Clean Slate Complexes on Earth. Joshua, meet Kira…Ethan’s Cleave.”
“Former Cleave.” I correct him, shooting him a death glare. He knows our Cleaving was dissolved.
A wide grin crosses Joshua’s face. “I thought that Cleavings were for life.”
“Extenuating circumstances.”
Joshua brushes his light brown curls out of his eyes showing off the lightest blue I have ever seen. If possible, his smile has grown even wider. His stance is relaxed, and he’s drumming his fingers on his pant leg. “Of course. Must’ve been the infidelity. Ethan, did you ever mention to Alexa that you were Cleaved when you started things up with her?” His words drip sarcasm thicker than maple syrup. So Joshua knows Alexa?
Ethan backs his chair away from the table and stands up. He has the same look on his face as when he held a gun to Jax’s head. I wonder if they have anger management classes on Thera. “What are you even doing here, Joshua? I don’t remember ever inviting you to visit my home.”
“Your brother and Jax invited me. They like me…I dare say they probably prefer my company to yours. Can’t imagine why. Your own Cleave couldn’t even stand to be around you.”
I hold out my hand to Joshua indicating he should stop, even if he’s onto something. “Hey. Don’t involve me in whatever bro-drama you’ve got going.”
Joshua nods at me. “You’re right. I apologize.” He looks over to the table at the babies and runs his hand along the stubble of his jaw. “Your babies?”
“Yeah. Aiden’s on the left and Zander’s on the right.”
“Ethan’s?” he asks.
“Zander is. But here on Thera there’s equal opportunity breeding amongst pure-blooded males. Didn’t your parents teach you anything about the birds and the bees? The doctors drug the girl and steal her eggs. And then they get the guys to jack off in a cup. And then they mix it all up in a petri dish, and they take the resulting embryos and implant them in the girl at gunpoint…”
Jax interrupts my lesson. “Kira, why don’t you take your sons back to their room so that we can have a private discussion with Ethan. I’m sure that each of your children could use some one on one time with their mother.”
I wink at Joshua and then speak to Jax in a sickly sweet voice. “Why certainly, Jax—even though Joshua seemed to be thoroughly enjoying my story. My babies are really deprived of their mommy time, me being with them close to 24/7 and all. I’ll just leave the Fathers-of-the-Year candidates to their business talk, while I go do my woman’s work.”
Before I grab the babies, I step up in front of Jax. He still won’t look me in the eyes. I firmly pat him on the side of his face—not quite a slap but not an affectionate touch either. How much time have you spent with Evvie lately? Come find me when you are done with your temper tantrum and your hypocrisy.
I know he heard my thoughts because he shuts his eyes. Removing the babies from their bouncy seats wakes them up, and it is difficult to manage them both at once—but no one offers to help. They appear to be suffering from paralysis. “Nice to meet you, Joshua.” Despite Ethan having just made me dinner and despite the conversation we had, I can’t keep from lodging one last insult. “It is going to be so hard choosing who gets that Father of the Year award. Farewell, sperm donors.”
Blake owns his failure by shrugging. Ethan looks confused. Jax is still fuming. Joshua’s smiling and tapping his fingers on his leg. However, they all stay silent.
As soon as I round the corner, they seem to regain their lost strength.
“Brad is preparing for war.” I stop in my tracks to hear what Jax will say next. “The increase in troops is only the tip of the iceberg. He has supposedly got a full-fledged weapons facility running in Industrial City. And if our intelligence is correct, he plans to use them in offensive maneuvers here on Thera.”
Looks like rude behavior from my baby daddies is the least of my worries.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Ethan
I rub my temples. My brain can’t process what Jax is telling me. It’s still stuck back on Kira’s words. I’m not sure that I really even know you. I’m broken. We’re broken. Farewell, sperm donors
. Why did I feel like her last comment wasn’t directed towards me even though it was plural? She seemed upset with Jax—the only one besides Joshua in the room who didn’t father one of her children. There is more going on between Kira and Jax than she let on. I had more questions to ask. I needed more time alone with her. But of course, Jax had to interrupt. I’d expect nothing less from my dear brother. He probably made up the war garbage just to have an excuse to break up my dinner party.
“What? No. That’s not possible. There’s no way Brad could do that without the Ten knowing,” I finally respond to Jax.
Blake rolls his eyes at me. “You teebed, bro? Brad pulled off coordinated attacks on Earth, killing thousands, and manipulated the Theran military to support his coup of the Ten. If he can develop and deploy weapons on Earth, he certainly can here, where he has infinitely more influence. He has made it quite clear that he has all the power on the Ten, and the rest of you are nothing more than his errand boys and girls.”
I stuff my hands in my pockets and start to pace. “Where’d the intel come from? How do you know it’s reliable? Do you have proof?”
“The intel came from a Second Chancer defector out of Industrial City. His brother supposedly worked at the weapons factory. Guy apparently had a conscience and didn’t agree with what was going down. So he told some people. The defector overheard the conversation. The brother and everyone he told were shot dead. Defector saw the whole thing. He got spooked and did what it took to get Exiled. He ran into Bailey at the local camp, and she got us word.”
It sounds awfully convenient that this defector happened to not only hear about a secret weapons manufacturing facility, but saw the whistle blower get killed for talking. “You’ve verified the info?”
Jax grimaces and can’t keep the contempt from his voice. My best friend, and brother, hates me. I just wonder if it is because I threatened to kill him or because he found me having dinner with Kira. “Not yet. We figured you’d want to be involved in your ‘official’ capacity as a member of the Ten. Once we’ve verified it, I’ll let you break the news to your mommy.”
“And why is Joshua involved?” His presence here pisses me off. Jax knows how I feel about him and, yet, brought him here anyway.
Joshua steps forward, well into my personal space. He looks me up and down with complete disgust. “Because some of us don’t mind getting our hands dirty—and I’m not talking about dirty paperwork pushing. Plus, I have actual expertise in weaponry. I know what to look for. What are you good at, Ethan? Besides knocking up and then cheating on pretty girls?”
I shove him hard, but he’s not easily swayed. “I didn’t cheat on Kira intentionally. I thought she died giving birth to my son. And those in the know—meaning Jax and Kira—chose not to tell me the truth. So back off, Joshua.”
Joshua pivots his head to look at Jax, who has a steely, unapologetic expression on his face. Then he turns back to me. I can see the wheels turning. “Interesting. Maybe Jax wants your girl for himself?” As if that hadn’t occurred to me.
Jax speaks up. “Well, I’m going to head off to Industrial City to see what’s happening there. You ladies are welcome to break out the ice cream, nail polish, and seaweed masks and continue your gossip session. Or you can take the tourniquet off your balls and come with me.”
A deep, throaty laugh belts out of Joshua as he puts a hand on Jax’s shoulder. “Let’s go snare us a mass murdering psychopath and put his balls in a tourniquet.”
Industrial City is built on the flat plains of the East Continent just north of Import/Export City. Twenty parallel warehouse-clad streets run east to west with railroad tracks leading to the harbor. High-rise worker residences sprawl out along the northern and southern borders. Giant people movers run from north to south above the warehouses, between the high-rise apartment buildings. They stop at each of the twenty streets. Workers clad in gray wife beaters and cargo pants descend from the station platforms to their jobs by large elevators.
The informant claimed the weapons facility was at the Z20 stop, the Southeast corner of the city. We’d been observing the early morn exodus with binoculars. Dressed in camo gear, we were trying hard to blend with a large boulder to the east of the facility just inside the Eco barrier. The rising sun not only notched the heat up twenty degrees but risked drawing attention to us. Several large iguanas parked themselves on the boulder soaking in the sun. They appeared to be the only ones appreciating the heat. Even the bugs scurried towards the shadows at this hour.
Just under the roofline of the warehouse were round portholes every six feet. Sniper holes.
“They are the least of our worries.” Jax has been off doing his own recon. “All employees are chipped in their forearm, scanned, and searched as they go in and out of the facility. From what I could see, they have both a night shift and day shift. For every two people who left, there was another person arriving.”
“The question is…do they think they’ve got enough external security that they’re lax on internal security.” Joshua says what I am thinking. If they feel confident that they are keeping strays at bay, then they may be less diligent inside.
Jax responds. “We can’t assume that. It would be safest for me to go in alone. But I don’t know what I’m looking for. So I propose Joshua and I drop in, get the evidence we need, and get the hell out of there.”
Blake shakes his head. “I’m just as familiar with weaponry as Joshua is. And that place is huge. We’d be better off with two teams searching. I’m not going to sit idly by and not participate. Whatever Brad is making in there will likely be used against the Exilers.”
“I agree with Blake. We need two teams.” I lean over to Jax and whisper, “You and I split up. We’re equally capable of a quick exit.”
Jax doesn’t answer right away. We both know that it will blow my cover if I have to use my Arbiter powers. As far as I’m concerned, I am one guy, and there are who knows how many lives on the line if Brad is really building weapons that he plans on deploying on Theran soil.
Jax presses the pressure points on either side of his forehead. “Okay. Blake and I will drop you at the East end. Then we’ll pop over to the West end. We’ll plan to meet up mid-complex, but don’t hesitate to jump ship if things go sour.”
I’m tempted to complain about being shackled with Joshua, but now’s not the time to be petty. Plus, I’m sure Jax has his reasons behind the pairings. I’m intelligent enough to know that, as member of the Arbiter council, Jax pulls rank on all of us.
Joshua throws each of us a black hood and gasmask. We’re already decked out in our own weapons arsenal, which will only be used in self-defense. Under our camo clothes, we have on full body suits that’ll protect against heat and chemical burns, plus a bulletproof vest.
“We meet back at the apartment. In and out, boys. Don’t be stupid.” Jax turns to me. “Leave the drama here, Ethan. I don’t care what issues you have with Joshua. In there he’s your superior, and you follow orders.”
Joshua’s already humming a tune that makes me want to stab him in the chest. “Peek-a-boo, where-are-you? Weapons I’m gonna find you…or die trying. Saddled with the baby-daddy-dead-weight…Office boy, clad with toys, is a danger to this guy…”
I smack him upside the head to shut him up. “I bet I save your life in there.”
He chuckles. “How much? I’ll take that bet any day.”
“Not for money. If I win, you never sing in front of me again.”
“Serious? You are so lame. Fine. If I win, then I move into your apartment to get to know Kira for two weeks—and you move out during that time.”
I clench my teeth. It takes every last bit of my willpower to keep from decking him. Jax would run interference. Joshua would never stand a chance with her. But do I want Jax to have two more free weeks with her? What am I even worried about? Joshua doesn’t know that I can get him out of there. And I can feel it in my bones. Our lives will be in danger, and we will have to leave in a moment’s n
otice.
“Sure. You’ve got a deal.” I put my hand out to shake his hand.
“I’m going to make sure our first kiss is in front of your son.”
This time, it takes both Jax and Blake to restrain me. “He’s just messing with your head, Ethan. He has no interest in Kira. Time to go. For Gads sake, pull it together.”
The desert landscape fades out, and the inside of a well-lit, cavernous room fades in. Less than a second later, Blake and Jax disappear, and I’m left with my bonehead cousin. We’re between tall stacks of boxes. Joshua raises a finger to his lips and gestures for me to follow him. He has a loaded semi in one hand, and with the other hand he has dug a camera out of his pocket.
There’s definite activity happening. I follow Joshua to the back of the row, and we start to maneuver our way through the facility. We stop and hold at the end of each row until Joshua gives the go ahead. I keep my pistol at the ready, covering our rear.
Who am I kidding? I have no idea what I am doing. The closest I’ve ever come to a scenario like this was playing a first person shooter video game with a buddy of mine in college. And I sucked at it…died every time. We’re not here to fight. Just to get some pictures and get out. Yeah right. I don’t think anyone’s going to take kindly to a couple of guys in full-out war gear slinking through their hallways. I’ve never had a panic attack, but I’m betting it’s not too early to start. My breathing is erratic, and I can feel the sheen of sweat work its way down from my hairline to my neck.
Joshua, on the other hand, looks fully in his element. I’m quite curious as to how he obtained his skill set. Did my Uncle Victor send him to G.I. Joe training camp as a kid or something? He halts us when we hit the last row and has me take cover behind a stack of boxes while he shoots some video footage of an assembly line. We’re too far for me to tell what they’ve got going on the line, but I assume his camera can zoom in.
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