by Riley Hart
“Yeah.” Quinn leaned away from him, pulled the condom off Miles’s softening dick, and tossed it into the trash, before lying on top of him again.
Miles’s arms went around him a second time, holding him and skating his fingers up and down Quinn’s spine.
Quinn kissed his neck. Licked his collarbone before settling in. “I was between homes. I was close to aging out. Who the fuck wants an almost-seventeen-year-old kid?”
“Everyone should want you.”
“Aw, you’re sweet.” Quinn winked but Miles was serious.
“Anyway, I had this friend,” Quinn continued. “His name was Kane. We hit it off—had each other’s backs. There were some fucked-up people in the group home—fights and shit. Bad crew.”
Miles tightened his hold, wished he had been there to protect Quinn.
“They took a liking to us, which means they liked to fuck with us. We’d sleep in shifts, ya know? Watching out for each other. He was the only person I trusted enough to watch me while I slept.”
Miles closed his eyes, not liking where this was going.
“So, it was my turn to stay awake. I was fucking tired. I don’t know what in the hell was going on with me. I was usually good at staying awake when I needed to.” He stopped, took a deep breath and Miles felt the pain through his breathing. In the way his body moved and he turned away.
Miles grabbed Quinn’s chin and turned his face so he looked at him. “Don’t look away from me. This is me. You can tell me anything.”
Quinn nodded, turned and kissed Miles’s hand. That gentle touch made fire burn through his chest. Made his heart beat so fucking hard he didn’t know if he could contain it.
“I guess you can figure out what happened from there. I fell asleep. They started beating the shit out of us—starting with Kane because they knew he was the weakest out of the two of us. They hurt him horribly.”
Quinn closed his eyes, and Miles said, “It wasn’t your fault,” because he knew Quinn blamed himself. It was the kind of man he was.
“Wasn’t it, though?”
“No, baby. It wasn’t. Were you the one who made them hurt you? No. That’s on them. You just did what you had to do to survive. Blame them, not yourself. What happened afterward?” He ran his hands through Quinn’s hair. Held him. Wanted to fucking kill anyone who had ever put their hands on him. Wanted to wrap him up in a bubble so no one could ever touch him again.
“Kane spent a few days in the hospital. I was fucked up pretty badly, but a trip to the ER was enough. Ever since, I go through little phases where I can’t sleep very well. I wake up thinking about what happened, or I’m afraid to close my eyes, even though I know no one will hurt me… And I’m also cautious on who I sleep with. Fucking is one thing, sleeping is another. I used to stay with Christian most of the time. He was my best friend and it made it easy.”
Miles felt a growl rise up inside of him at the thought of Quinn in bed with anyone else. “You ever struggle, you come to me. No one else. Even if…”
“You breaking up with me already?”
Miles didn’t take the bait. “Say it. Say you’ll come to me.”
Quinn smiled and it damn near stopped Miles’s heart. “I’ll come to you.”
“What happened to him? To Kane?”
“Kane said he didn’t blame me. But that was it for our friendship. It was too painful for him. He went to another home, and I never saw him again, and ever since then, I’ve always wondered where he is… He was hurt because of me, Miles.”
“No, he wasn’t. And you were hurt too. I’d fucking kill them if I knew who it was.” And he would.
“Aw, you want to protect my honor?” Quinn teased.
“That’s not the only thing I want to do with you, but yes. I do.”
“This is it, isn’t it? This is the thing that’s going to make you fall in love with me?” Quinn winked. His words were playful, but the feeling in Miles’s chest? The need for this man? It was anything but a joke.
“Already there. Realized it earlier tonight. Didn’t ever think that would happen for me, and I’m not real sure what to do about it.” Those words weren’t as hard to speak as he thought they would be.
“You’re serious?” Quinn asked, awe in his voice. “You’re really fucking serious?” His brows pulled together and he didn’t turn away from Miles.
“Do you think I would lie about something like that? We should have known. You wouldn’t have been at Wild Side with me tonight if that wasn’t the case.”
Quinn ran his hand over Miles’s head, cupped his cheek. “Christ, you’re incredible. You think you’re not good at this stuff, but you are. You think you’re so damn hard and you’re so detached but you’re not. You’re all heart, Counselor, and I am so fucking in love with you too.”
Pride welled up in Miles, like nothing he’d ever experienced before. It was like he could fucking fly. Like he could conquer the world and nothing could ever touch him. “That’s good. Otherwise, I’d have to beat your tight little ass until you changed your mind.” But then—
“Don’t.” Quinn cut him off, somehow sensing Miles’s chain of thought. “I can see the wheels turning in there. I can see it in your eyes. One thing has nothing to do with the other. This isn’t fiction where there has to be some deep reason for why we like the things we like. I need rough sex and being dominated because that’s my kink, the same way it’s yours. There’s no other reason behind it. It has nothing to do with what happened, and if you change the way you treat me when we fuck, we’re going to have a problem.”
Miles smiled, squeezed him. “How did you know I was thinking that?”
“Goes back to that big-ass heart I was talking about.” Quinn grinned. Nuzzled Miles’s neck. “We’re in love. Holy fuck. How did that happen?”
Yeah, they were in love. Go fucking figure. “Must be because of my dick. It’s a miracle worker.”
Miles flipped them so Quinn was on his back and he lay on top. Quinn’s legs dropped open, making space for him.
“It’s definitely not your sparkling personality,” Quinn said.
This time, it was Miles’s turn to nuzzle Quinn’s neck. He was being cheesy and giddy and he was pretty sure he had a personality transplant, but he didn’t care. “You’re being very fucking naughty, boy. What am I going to do with you?”
“Punish me?” Quinn asked.
Yeah, he could do that. He’d love him, too.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
“Are you alone?” Chance asked into the phone and Miles rolled his eyes. It was Sunday morning. Quinn had stayed at his place both Friday and Saturday night, but he’d had some things to take care of so he had left this morning.
It had been…nice the past couple days. They’d basically done the same things they’d done the week before—laughed and talked and fucked, but now it was somehow different. Everything felt heavier now. Not heavy in an uncomfortable way, but more important. As though every interaction meant a little more and had more meat to it.
He was officially losing his mind. He’d just thought their interactions were meaty and not talking about dick or ass either.
Christ, what the fuck was the man doing to him?
Changing you.
“You’re not alone, are you?” Chance asked again when Miles didn’t answer. He figured he better answer before Chance alerted the chain of command that something could be wrong.
“You’re ridiculous. And you sound ridiculous. Yes, I’m alone, you dork.”
“We’re downstairs. We’ll be right up!” Chance replied in a high-pitched, excited voice.
“What—” The line went dead before Miles could reply but he wasn’t the least bit surprised. His fucking friends. He was going to kill them. There was no doubt in his mind what this little ambush was about.
Quinn.
He didn’t get off the couch, and a couple minutes later, his door pushed open and what sounded like a herd of elephants trampled in.
“You have a m
otherfucking boyfriend!” Was the first thing out of Chance’s mouth.
Miles rolled his eyes.
But he did, in fact, have a boyfriend.
“I can’t believe you’re taking part in this, Ollie,” Miles replied as his three friends walked into the room. “You either, Matt.”
“So you only expect this out of me?” Chance asked, but before Miles could jump in, Oliver spoke.
“Are you going to pretend you wouldn’t do the same thing if it was one of us? I seem to remember you dragging me out of Wild Side and to Chance’s apartment.”
Shit. He’d hoped Oliver wouldn’t bring that up. “Not the same thing,” Miles lied.
“Of course it’s not, because this is you.” Matt winked and then sat beside him.
“You have a fucking boyfriend!” Chance said again before sitting on the coffee table in front of Miles. Oliver took the seat on the other side of him. Fuckers. They were boxing him in—poised for attack at any moment.
“Was this part of the plan? Not leaving me an escape route?” There was no doubt in Miles’s mind that it was.
“Of course.” Chance winked. He had purple eyeliner on today and matching nail polish.
Miles sighed…thought about lying but the thing was, he didn’t feel like it. He didn’t want to lie about what Quinn was to him. The way he’d burrowed his own place into Miles’s heart. He sure as shit didn’t want to lie to his best friends about Quinn.
“Yes, I have a…boyfriend and I’ll one-up you and admit that I love him. How’s that for honesty?” He’d knocked them for a loop, which was exactly his plan…that and being honest about who Quinn was to him. It was important to Miles.
The room went so quiet, you could have heard a pin drop. The only sound he heard was a soft gasp from Oliver. The couch rustled under Matt when he adjusted his position. Miles waited. This wouldn’t last long—not with his crew. He knew it would come in three…two…one… “Oh my fucking God! Miles! Where are you?” Chance jumped to his feet. “I’ll find you! I promise. I don’t believe this imposter for one moment!” He walked over and opened the pantry and stuck his head inside. “Miles, are you in there? Or did they take you to their planet?”
Motherfucker. Miles chuckled. Both Oliver and Matt joined him.
God, he loved them. He was so lucky to have these people in his life. “Get your ass over here,” Miles told him.
“You may look like my Miles, but I know you’re not him. See? I told you guys aliens were real and they have Miles.” Chance walked back over to them, winked and then sat on the table again. “I’m giving you hell. I called that shit on the way over here. Hell, I called it Friday night, remember? I just never thought you’d admit it.”
Miles rubbed a hand over his face. “I never thought I’d feel it.” But he did. He really fucking did.
“Does he know?” Matt asked softly.
“Yeah… I told him Friday night.”
“Wow. This is legit,” Chance said.
“This is serious, Chance,” Oliver replied, then looked at Miles. “You’re different.”
He was different. Miles couldn’t deny that even if he wanted to…and he didn’t. There wasn’t a part of him that wanted to brush this under the rug or pretend it wasn’t happening. “I’m happy.” He shrugged. “I just…he fucking found his way in. I don’t know how it happened but it did. He just…”
“Can’t always put it into words, can you?” Matt asked. “For me, loving Ollie was always there, dormant I think, if only because I wasn’t ready. Then it was just…too big to ignore or explain.”
“Yeah.” Miles looked at him. “Yeah, it is too big to explain.” Because he realized then, that it was important as hell, he added, “I’m sorry.”
“You have nothing to apologize to me for,” Matt replied.
“But I do. I wasn’t always fair to you. That was always my issue and not yours. I’m sorry about that.” He thought maybe he and Matt had more in common than they realized. They were both afraid to love, to trust, afraid of getting hurt.
“It’s okay.” Matt smiled and Miles felt Oliver’s hand on his shoulder, squeezing in silent support.
“It’s like you’re all grown up,” Chance said.
“When are you planning on doing that?” Miles teased.
Chance winked. “Never.”
“I take it he feels the same?” Oliver asked. He wouldn’t be ready to move on to the next subject yet. That was Ollie, always needing to make sure the people he loved were okay.
“Is that really a question?” Miles countered. “This is me we’re talking about.”
The four men laughed. There was nothing in the world like laughing with them.
“I’m happy for you, Miles. And I like him,” Ollie added.
Yeah…Miles liked him too. “So is this the only reason you guys came over? To bust my balls about Quinn, or what?”
“Is there a better reason than that?” Chance cocked a brow.
No, he guessed there wasn’t. He damn sure would do the same if the situation were reversed.
The four friends continued to visit, outside of Wild Side, in a way they didn’t do nearly enough of. Miles made coffee and they joked and laughed the way they always did together. Laughed in ways they couldn’t do with anyone except each other.
They spoke more about Ollie’s work helping at the LGBT center with Austin, how Quinn could fit in, and about their recent discovery about Dare’s past. It was amazing that you could know someone and not know important things about them. Not many people knew any of the important things that made Miles who he was—his situation that led him to his family and how it affected him to this day. He envied people like Quinn and Dare who could just move on or be open about their experiences, especially since they’d had it a whole lot harder than Miles had.
It was a couple hours later when they left. Miles closed the door with a smile on his face. Yes, he was growing up. Moving on. He was happy. And he couldn’t help but wonder when he’d get to see Quinn again.
*
The past few weeks had been crazy. Quinn and Miles were at each other’s apartment every night. Miles’s place was bigger, but Quinn had his computer equipment at home, so they ended up there pretty often. He wasn’t sure he would ever be able to sleep alone again—not that it was a bad thing. He sure as hell liked sharing a bed with Miles every night, though he was still shocked it had happened. Surprised at where they’d found themselves. It was a far cry from a random hookup from a bar.
Quinn had never wanted to be with someone, wanted the same person the way he did with Miles.
They were kind of a big deal.
Chance, Oliver, and Matt never let Miles forget it, either. The thought made him snicker. Quinn had joined them the past few Fridays at Wild Side and the crew was always teasing each other about something. Miles was the target most of the time, which was apparently different for them. Oliver said it used to be him, and Miles had been the worst about it, not that it surprised Quinn.
It did Miles some good to be on the receiving end of a little friendly razzing.
It was a Tuesday and Quinn was heading to the LGBT center to meet with Oliver and Austin. They’d set up the meeting to get some real planning done on the event they wanted to organize.
Quinn parked his car beside the large, white building with rainbow letters. As he got out, he heard, “Hey!” and realized he’d arrived at the same time as Oliver. He looked over and saw Oliver jogging toward him from a few rows away.
“Hey,” Quinn replied when the other man reached him.
“Perfect timing.” They headed for the door and signed in at the front desk. It was really incredible inside. There was a common room to the left with a TV, DVDs, billiards, air hockey and foosball tables.
“I can’t believe I’ve never been here before.” Quinn had driven past it a million times and never thought to come in, which was ridiculous. It should have been more important to him. He should have made time earlier to help.
Yeah, yeah it was. Quinn had never even seen a place like this when he was younger. Not somewhere specifically queer related.
Oliver showed him the library, which was just as impressive as Oliver had said. Apparently, he was an author and had organized a book drive not too long ago. They’d acquired boxes upon boxes of LGBT books, according to Oliver.
“Come on,” he told Quinn. “Austin’s office is this way.”
Oliver led him down a long hallway with rainbows and clouds painted along the walls. He stopped when he reached a door that was cracked open, and knocked. It was only a second later that Quinn heard Austin call for them to come in.
“Hey, good to see you both.” He pushed his red hair off his forehead and then reached out for Quinn’s hand, followed by Oliver’s, shaking them both.
“Thanks for letting me join in with you guys. I’m really excited.” He was incredibly excited. So excited that, “I’d really love to organize some kind of—well, I guess it would be like a field trip to my office. I think it would be really awesome if the kids were able to see our process and everything that goes into bringing a game from idea to an actuality.”
Quinn pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket. “I checked prices on renting a bus. I’m not sure if we’d have that many youths who were interested, but I got the information anyway.”
He set it on the desk in front of Austin, who smiled at him.
“I’m sure funds are tight around here but I bet we can work something out—fundraise or hell, I’d help and I know Miles would too.” They’d already talked about it. “I’d love for them to see that you can do anything with your life, ya know? To show them anyone can have their dreams.” He’d gone from a kid no one wanted to being happy, productive, and loved.
