by Riley Hart
That earned him another laugh from Miles, but then as he angled his cock toward Quinn’s ring—as he slowly pushed in, their eyes locked together in what felt like an unbreakable hold—everything got real fucking serious, real fucking quick.
“Oh God. I could live inside of you,” Miles said as he pushed in balls deep. He held Quinn’s legs open and against his chest, without taking his eyes off Quinn’s, and started to fuck. No, started to make love to him.
He pushed in real slow, real deep before pulling out. He rolled his hips and each time he slammed in, he hit Quinn’s prostate just right.
They were two bodies working together in unison, two bodies that somehow felt as one.
“I don’t know what I want to watch more—your eyes or the way my dick stretches your hole. The way you open up for me, grip me real fucking good.” Miles’s eyes darted down, between them. “It’s fucking beautiful, baby boy. Your ass taking me.”
“Oh God, yes.” Quinn’s eyes fluttered again. His dick leaked all over his stomach. His balls were so damn full. And when Miles leaned over, when he parted Quinn’s mouth with his tongue before pushing it in deep, Quinn was done for.
Miles wrapped a hand around his dick and stroked twice, a long rope of come shooting between them. He bucked his hips, stroked again and shot for a second time as he saw stars behind his eyes.
Miles cursed, fucked harder, deeper, called out Quinn’s name, then crashed their mouths together again as he came. He didn’t rest on top of Quinn long, though. He ran his hand between them, in Quinn’s load, and sucked it from his fingers before removing the rope and untying Quinn’s wrists.
He ripped the condom off, tossed it, and lay on top of Quinn, kissing his neck, licking his ear.
When they came down from their high, Miles rolled over, tucking Quinn in the crook of his arm.
“Can I tell you something?” Miles asked.
“Is it how good I work your dick?” Quinn joked, but Miles didn’t take the bait and he realized this was serious. “Yeah, of course. You can tell me anything.”
“I’ve thought about it…trying to find them. Just to know.”
Quinn closed his eyes, let Miles’s words and pain wash over him. Wished he could take it away.
“I lied to you,” Miles continued. “Our first weekend together when I said there was nothing I had the balls to do? Searching for them. I don’t have the guts to do it. And when I used to walk down by the homeless? I was looking for them. Thought that I would see myself in someone’s eyes, but I never did.”
“Oh, Miles.” Quinn leaned closer, kissed his guy’s neck. Nuzzled him. “I love you.”
“I know. I love you too.” Miles sighed. “Maybe I could make peace with it if I knew…but then I remember, what is there to make peace with? One or both of them left me. They left me to die. What more do I need to know than that?”
Quinn’s heart broke at the pain in Miles’s voice. This time, he pushed up on his elbow, looked down at Miles’s whiskey-colored eyes. “There are a million different possibilities. Maybe they were sick. On drugs. Have gotten help. Maybe your mom did it and your dad didn’t know or your dad did it and your mom didn’t know. That doesn’t excuse it. Jesus, it doesn’t, but it kills me for you to not feel wanted. You are so fucking loved, Miles. Your mom and dad, who I met tonight. Chance, Oliver, Matt…me. Whatever reason your parents, or hell, whoever the fuck it was, who did what they did—whatever the reason, it doesn’t change how much we love you. Nothing will.”
“I know.” Miles gave Quinn a sad smile. He didn’t believe him. Quinn could see that.
“I’m serious.”
“I know you are, baby boy. I get it. I know I’m lucky. Everyone wasn’t as lucky as I am.”
He meant Quinn but Quinn shook that off. “I have everything I need.”
“Yeah,” Miles replied. “I do too.” But it still didn’t sound like he believed it.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
The past couple weeks had been incredible.
Miles and Quinn spent nearly all their spare time together—Fridays at Wild Side, dinner after work, nights in one another’s beds.
If Miles hadn’t realized he’d been addicted to Quinn before, he definitely knew he was now.
The night they had dinner with his parents solidified things between them. Quinn was a major part of his life, which was exactly where Miles wanted him.
He sure as shit wished he wasn’t sitting in his office right now with another three hours left of work to go. It was Friday night, and he wanted to pick up his guy and go spend the evening at Wild Side with their friends.
Not just Miles’s friends. Their friends.
He leaned back in his chair just as his cell buzzed. Miles plucked it off the desk to see a text from the object of his fascination.
You picking me up for Wild Side tonight, Counselor, or do you want me to meet you at your apartment? I’m home early today.
It was never a question of whether Quinn would or wouldn’t go. He belonged there.
I’ll come to your place. Be naked and I’ll do a few really dirty things to you before we go.
Quinn replied back, Counting on it.
Miles chuckled just as there was a soft knock on his office door, before it pushed open. His father stuck his head in. “What are you smiling about?” he asked as he made his way inside the office.
“Nothing,” Miles answered automatically but then added, “Quinn.” He was like a lovesick puppy—ridiculously cheesy and doe-eyed over his boyfriend.
“It’s good to see you like this. Your mother and I are over the moon.” His dad sat in the chair on the opposite side of Miles’s cherry-wood desk.
“I am too,” Miles admitted. It felt good to be happy. To trust someone enough to let them in.
“You really are in love with him, aren’t you?”
Miles thought about the way Quinn made him feel, the way he made Miles laugh and open up and live his life. Thought about the kind of man Quinn was and the things he’d been through and the honesty he’d shared with Miles. “Yes, I am. I’m actually finding it hard to concentrate on work, if you can believe that.”
“Holy shit. Now I’m worried!” His dad winked, and both men laughed. He loved the man sitting in front of him. He and Miles’s mom had chosen him, had taken him home and loved him with their whole hearts every day of his life.
That was all that mattered. That should be all that mattered.
“I’ve never thanked you,” Miles said softly.
“Thanked me for what?”
He answered honestly, simply, “For being my father.”
“You don’t have to thank me for that. Raising you has been the single biggest joy in mine and your mother’s lives. We wouldn’t be complete without you. You’ve been my best friend, son, and now my work confidant. I should be thanking you.”
Miles shook that off. The idea of it was absurd, but he appreciated the sentiment. “I guess it was just meant to be, wasn’t it?” he asked, to which his father nodded.
“What brought this on all of a sudden?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know.” And he didn’t. Miles glanced at his phone and groaned. “Has it only been ten minutes? I think this is the longest day in history.”
“I guess it’s a good thing you’re one of the bosses then.” His dad pushed to his feet. “You want out of here early, then leave. Go have fun. Surprise Quinn. Maybe I’ll do that with your mother too.”
Miles tried to speak but damn near choked on his own words he was so shocked. He coughed, pounded on his chest and said, “Are you serious?”
“Why not? We work our asses off all the time. Your happiness is inspiring me to take a little extra time with your mom. You only live once, right?”
Yes, yes you did. His father was right and Miles not only loved the idea of getting out of there early and surprising Quinn, but he knew his mother would be thrilled if his dad did the same thing.
“Let’s do it.”
&nbs
p; Miles pushed to his feet, and he and his father did just that.
*
After parking at Quinn’s building, Miles shot him a quick text. I don’t want to do my work today and it’s all your fault.
He didn’t have to wait long for a reply. Oh, poor baby. That must suck. I just jacked off and now I’m getting in the shower. A picture came through with the text of a smiling Quinn standing in his bathroom.
The bastard was trying to rub it in but what he didn’t realize was this would be perfect for Miles. I hate you, he replied.
I love you! Quinn shot back, and Miles got out of the car, with the plan of using the key Quinn had given him for the first time.
Miles made his way through the building and took the elevator up. When he got to Quinn’s door, he paused for a moment, reconsidering bursting in when Quinn didn’t expect him.
But it would surprise him… Quinn was forever keeping Miles on his toes and for once, Miles wanted to be the one to do that to Quinn.
His heart skittered with excitement as he opened the door. The living room was empty the way he hoped it would be. He heard the water running down the hall, which confirmed Quinn was just where he said he would be.
Miles stripped his suit jacket off as he made his way down the hallway. His fingers were shaking he was so fucking thrilled. He just began working his tie loose when his eyes snagged on a printout beside Quinn’s computer.
It was as though he took a blow to the head. His vision went blurry. His head spun. His heart pounded in his ears and he thought for sure he would have a heart attack.
He rubbed the heels of his hands against his eyes. Stumbled on weak legs closer to the desk, picked up the paper and saw eyes he’d seen every day of his life. Eyes he saw every time he looked in the mirror, only the picture wasn’t him.
His birth mom. There was no question in his mind that he was looking at a picture of his birth mom.
Miles rifled through the notebook on the desk. Saw Sacramento circled. Was he from Sacramento? If so, how did he get to Los Angeles? Thea Jane Clements. His mom’s name? Was that his mother’s name?
The paper became an extension of his hand and trembled.
Quinn had done this. Quinn had gone behind his back and looked for his family without his permission. He’d dug into Miles’s family, into his life without Miles’s permission. He’d betrayed not only Miles, but his parents too—the people who’d raised him and loved him and the man who just talked Miles into leaving work early to come and see Quinn.
My mom…this is my mom…
The mother who hadn’t wanted him. The person who’d swaddled him in a blanket and threw him away.
Miles crumpled the papers in his fist. Squeezed his eyes closed so he didn’t lash out and punch something. His head pounded. He gasped for breath and a sharp pain shot through his chest.
He couldn’t remember making the decision to go to Quinn’s room, couldn’t remember how he got there. He only knew that one moment he was in the living room and the next he stepped into Quinn’s bathroom just as Quinn stepped out of the shower. “What the fuck is this?” He threw the balled-up paper at Quinn.
Miles could see the realization on Quinn’s face, in his eyes, the moment he realized what Miles had seen.
“It was not your place! You had no fucking right to do that, Quinn. None.”
“Let me explain—”
“Fuck your explanation! You had no goddamn right. This, my life, is none of your fucking business. You don’t get to make these decisions for me. You don’t get to make this call, and fuck you for trying to. I trusted you.” Miles fisted his hands. Closed his eyes and wished like hell this was a nightmare. “I trusted you and you went behind my back and did this.”
“I was trying to help, Miles. I swear it.” Quinn reached for him, but Miles jerked back, pinned him with a stare so hard that Quinn didn’t move.
He’d dropped his towel to the floor and stood there naked and wet with those soft fucking eyes that pulled Miles in.
“No.” He shook his head. He couldn’t forget this. He turned to walk away, but Quinn was right behind him.
“Let me explain, Miles. The other night, when you told me you wanted to look, that it’s the one thing you didn’t have the guts do to—”
“Me!” Miles slammed a hand against his chest. “Me. My choice.”
“I was afraid of what you’d find! I just kept thinking…what if you looked and didn’t like what you found. What if it wasn’t what you thought? I was trying to help. I wanted to be prepared so that I could support you. I wouldn’t have told you anything you didn’t want to know. I was just…Fuck.” Quinn ran a hand through his hair. “I was wrong. I just…I wanted to give you something. You’re hurting, baby. I see it in your eyes every day. You haven’t let it go and, I thought…” He wiped his eyes. Miles saw the wetness there and realized his own eyes were brimming over too.
He was crying. When was the last time he’d cried?
“I don’t know what I thought.” Quinn stepped closer…then closer again. “I shouldn’t have done it. I should have waited for you but I didn’t and I can’t change that. I just…I wanted you to be happy.”
“I was happy,” Miles told him. “Happier than I’ve ever been. But this? I can’t forgive this, Quinn.”
He turned and walked out of the room. Quinn was behind him, following him. Just as Miles reached the door, he grabbed Miles’s arm from behind.
“Please don’t go. I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry, just…please don’t leave me, Miles.”
Miles closed his eyes. Tried to block out the voice in his head that told him to turn around, to look at Quinn and pull him close…but he couldn’t. He knew he fucking couldn’t.
“You had no right,” he said again.
“Please, Miles. Don’t go.”
Miles opened his eyes, tried to see through the tears. Once he wiped them away, he pulled the door open and stepped out.
“Miles!” Quinn called after him. “I’m sorry. Please, talk to me. I love you.”
Miles kept going, knew Quinn couldn’t follow him because he was naked.
When he got to his car and slammed the door, he let the tears flow freely.
Quinn had betrayed him.
Thea Jane Clements.
His mom, the woman who’d thrown him away was named Thea Jane Clements.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
“Fuck!” Quinn yelled, thought about chasing after Miles, clothes be damned, but then rushed to his room. His cell fell out of his hand so he reached for it again, calling Miles even though he knew there would be no answer.
What had he been thinking? He knew what he did was wrong. Knew it the second he saw the pain in Miles’s face. The betrayal in his eyes. He’d trusted Quinn, trusted Quinn in a way he’d never done with anyone else, and Quinn had made a decision like that without talking to him about it.
He’d just wanted…fuck, to help? What? To save the fucking day? He didn’t know. The only thing he did know was seeing the hurt in Miles had not been the desired result.
He dialed again. Listened to Miles’s voicemail, his pulse trying to break out of his skin the whole time. “I’m sorry, Counselor. I’m so fucking sorry.” Quinn walked over to the bed and lay down. “I think…hell, I think there was a part of me that wanted to be your hero? How fucked up is that? I wanted to be the one to take away the fear in your heart. I was so scared you would spend your whole life denying your need to find her, or that you’d look and what you’d find would hurt you even more. I told myself I was making the right decision, but I wasn’t. I just…call me. Please. I need to make sure you’re okay.”
Quinn took a deep breath… “I love you,” he said and then hung up and waited, hoping he didn’t lose Miles for good.
*
Miles went straight for the bar the second he stepped into Wild Side.
“What can I get for you?” Dare asked, a smile plastered across his face.
“Whiskey. Double. Two of
them,” Miles replied curtly and he could see the questions in Dare’s eyes.
Still, he filled the two glasses. Miles took the first and slammed it back immediately. His throat burned as the liquid scorched its way down and he wanted it, wanted to feel something other than Quinn.
He tried to pick up the other glass, but Dare put a hand on his wrist. “Do you want me to call your boys?” he asked. Miles had come early, couldn’t handle sitting around his apartment.
“No. I’m fine.”
“Are you sure—”
“I said I’m fine,” Miles gritted out, lifted the second glass to his lips and pounded the second drink as well.
“How much do I owe you?” he pulled out his wallet, but Dare shook his head.
“It’s on the house, but I’m telling you now, you try to walk out of my bar, and I’m stopping you. I don’t know what’s up, but you’re in no shape to leave right now.”
Miles groaned, wanted to argue with Dare…but he was right. Miles knew it.
“How about you and I go spend a few minutes in my office. Would that be okay?”
No. The answer was there, teasing Miles but he surprised himself by nodding.
Dare told the other bartender he was taking a break before he led Miles to the back of the bar, through a locked door and down a hallway toward another locked door.
Dare pushed it open and Miles stepped inside, immediately sinking down in one of the chairs. He bent forward, elbows on his knees, legs shaking, hands on his head and looking down. There were footsteps that told him Dare moved, then the creak of another chair…and silence.
He was giving Miles leeway, giving him space to say what he wanted in his own time.
“What the hell am I doing here? I should go.” But he didn’t move. Knew he couldn’t be in the bar right now. Knew he couldn’t be around Chance, Oliver, and Matt—not yet.
Dare was somehow…safe.
“Can I ask you something?” Miles asked after a few moments of silence.
“Sure can.”
“Why were you on the streets?”
