“What?” he asks, completely unaware. “Did you want something else?” Oh shit…he’s done for.
“Um…my drink is fine, thank you.” I’m second-guessing if I should say something, afraid if I point it out, he’ll attempt to prove me wrong. That’s the last thing I want. “How’s Pete?”
“Good. He said it’s been pretty dead all day. Everyone’s just getting back from spring break.” I realize now that he honestly isn’t aware he walked right by a gorgeous girl, ready for the taking.
“How’s Kailey?” I ask, assuming that she’s the one on his mind. He wasn’t around a lot in Colorado and when he was, I wasn’t always available to talk.
“Good. It’s weird being back here though. We spent so much time together in Colorado, it feels…weird being away from her,” he admits. He’s staring into his beer and rotating the glass in a circle, back and forth.
“Why don’t you go see her?” I ask. I wasn’t able to get a lot of Kailey’s story, but I thought she lived on her own with a friend. If that’s the case, I’m unsure what the problem is and why they can’t continue to see one another.
“She had some stuff to take care of,” he informs me, clearly upset by her decision. The look in his eyes resembles that of a boy who just lost his favorite toy.
“Okay…but you’ll see her tomorrow, right?” I ask, attempting to make him feel better. What happened to my good-humored, happy-go-lucky Trey?
“Nope. She said she can only see me on the weekends that she has a busy schedule but we can meet up on Friday. I’m going to ask her to come to the show.” With that, he finally picks up his head and I see his eyes glimmer with happiness. Yep…this boy is a goner. Say good-bye ladies, Kailey has stolen the heart of Trey Michaels.
“Just concentrate on that. You can always call and text her until then,” I say soothingly. “You do know you’ve only known her for a week?”
“Don’t remind me. I’m walking around like some fucking puberty-stricken boy who just got his first boner. This isn’t me Jessa, what the fuck?” he asks angrily.
“Just go with it. Don’t overthink things, okay? It’ll happen if and when it’s supposed to.” I wish I would’ve taken my own advice months ago when I first met Grant. At that thought, the sudden urge to see him and make everything right blazes through me. I check my phone and see that there’s still half an hour before he’s done.
“Yeah, I’m trying. I just want her so bad. Not even in bed, Jessa. Hell, I’d settle for her just sitting next to me. God damn.” His whole demeanor appears as though he’s being tortured.
“Relax. Try to keep yourself busy,” I tell him and he scoffs at me.
“I check my phone constantly and she never fucking calls. She hasn’t even texted me since we dropped her off.” I can tell he’s getting more frustrated and confused by the minute.
“Calm down, Trey!” I scold. His eyes find mine and he seems to calm a little. “It’s a new relationship. If she has stuff to do, she has stuff to do. It doesn’t mean she’s not thinking about you,” I say, giving my best attempt to bring him back to reality.
For the remaining time we’re at the bar, Trey appears calmer, even if he does check his phone about every two minutes. As much as I wish I could tease him, I don’t want to make him shy away from his feelings for Kailey. He deserves the happiness that I’m certain she’ll bring him.
At the same time, I can’t help but wonder why she won’t see him except for weekends. We all carry full loads but still manage to get out and let off some steam every once in awhile. Of course, I don’t mention any of this to Trey. He’s already freaked out enough as it is.
I’m eager to see Grant. I hate that we parted the way we did and I just want his arms around me. I throw some money on the table but Trey’s not paying attention. He’s glancing at his phone again, pressing on the screen to make sure it’s on. Oh, he’s got it bad.
“Okay, let’s get going,” I say, grabbing my phone off the table. I’m surprised there aren’t any texts or calls from Grant. He should’ve been out twenty minutes ago, and I thought for sure he would call me when he was done. Shaking it off that maybe his meeting ran late, I finally look back up to see Trey staring at the girl from earlier.
“See you back at the house. You’re good, right?” he asks, his eyes focused squarely on the brunette.
“I’ll be fine but Trey…” I stand up and he follows suit.
“Just go…” he says, smirking over to her. I want to rip his eyes out of their sockets and drag him out of the bar.
“You’ll regret it,” I warn, trying to detour him. Just then, his phone rings and I’m hopeful it’s Kailey. Trey digs in his pocket at lightning speed, and then surprises me by pressing ‘ignore’ and shoving it back into his pocket.
“Fuck it. See you, J-doll. Give my best to the hubby.” He gives me a kiss on the cheek and then swaggers over to the girl, wrapping his arm around her shoulders, never looking back at me.
I hate what he’s doing, but the more I tell him he should leave, the more stubborn he’ll become. Kailey has him all shook up, and he’s like a lost penguin trying to find his way to the ocean. Too excited to see Grant to worry about it anymore, I leave Trey to his ways and start walking up the hill. I hate the frat house, but my anticipation of seeing Grant is too great to deter me from going there. After spending day and night with him this past week, it’s excruciating not having him near me all the time.
Suddenly, I understand what Trey is talking about. But there’s no way in hell I’m about to tell him that the feeling of wanting someone near you at all times doesn’t diminish, even months later. He’d be trying to arrange a threesome if he knew that.
The house appears quiet when I ring the bell. All I hear is some guy shout for me to come in, so I slowly open the door to find a few of Grant’s frat brothers playing Xbox and arguing amongst themselves. One guy is actually standing up, feverishly pressing the buttons, while the others call out profanities. Finally, some guy with reddish hair hollers over to me. I think his name is Matt.
“Hey, Jessa. Right?” he asks and I answer affirmatively. “Go ahead upstairs,” he tells me. Thanking him, I walk over to the old, wooden steps and wait as a couple passes me coming down the stairs. I’m always surprised at how many people mill around this place. It’s a never-ending stream of people, both guys and girls, rotating in and out of here. The thought of having to live like that, never knowing who’s around, gives me the creeps. I wonder how Grant has done it this long.
A smile consumes my face as I walk up the stairs, thinking about finally seeing Grant after only a few short hours. I miss him already. What this guy has done to me in such a brief amount of time is unheard of. He’s stolen my heart and is holding it captive. Although we evidently have some issues to discuss, namely about the caveman personality he portrayed earlier, I can’t wait for the make-up sex.
I’m about five steps away from his door when it cracks opens and automatically my lips turn up with the thought of his beautiful face. My heart sinks and my smile freezes when I see it’s not him.
“Jessa?” Emily questions me, and for the first time, this girl has me at a disadvantage. “What are you doing here?” she asks. It takes everything in me not to hit her.
“Maybe I should ask you the same thing,” I croak out loudly. As much as I might feel like I’ve just been knocked to the ground, I’m not going to let her kick me while I’m down.
“You might want to lower your voice, he’s sleeping.” She shuts the door, walking toward me and gives me her sly smile.
“Well, you can tell him to go to hell!” I scream and her mouth falls open. I so wish I had a better comeback, but the sudden shock has made my usual sharp-witted sassiness vanish.
“It’s cute that you thought he was into you. I mean, come on Jessa. Did you really think he wasn’t using you?” she sneers. That’s it. My heart might be shattering like a glass when it crashes to the floor, but I’ll be damned if this whore is going to mak
e me think I’m not deserving of someone’s love and commitment.
“I may have been wrong about him, but let’s be clear on one thing. You are the stereotypical slutty sorority chick, and it’s girls like you that give them the bad name. Go find yourself your own man and stay the hell away from mine,” I yell and then move to push my way past her. If he’s going to fuck someone else, I’m sure as hell not going to lie down and take it.
She stumbles to the right and hits her shoulder on the wall before steadying herself. My blood is boiling just imagining him asleep in his bed, naked.
“I’m sorry, did you call me a slut? I don’t think I’m the one that has pictures spread across the internet of me fucking some guy.” At these words, my whole body shuts down. The water begins to form in my eyes and my skin goes cold. The blood in my veins feels like it has stopped moving. Not knowing what to do, I cock my fist back and knock it across her jaw.
“Fuck you, Emily!” That’s my best comeback at this point because I’m pretty sure my brain has quit working as well. She leans against the wall and holds her mouth, and I see that a trickle of blood flows down her chin. Shit, I’ve never hit a woman before but that felt good.
“Doesn’t change the fact that I fucked both your men,” she shouts to me and I pause at the top of the stairs briefly before I descend down them. I remain silent, absorbing my volatile mix of emotions.
Rushing out of the house, I hear Matt holler my way but I continue without acknowledging him. Although I do feel a certain satisfaction thinking of Emily’s shocked expression after I hit her, my heart is still breaking. How could Grant do this to me? Was he that out of it that he didn’t hear the commotion outside his door? Or worse, did he stay inside his room because he couldn’t face me after what he’d done?
Grant
After rushing over to the house and throwing my stuff in my room, I grab my backpack and head out. The last place I want to be is the library doing some fucking group project. The image of Jessa in bed with Rob won’t leave my head. I fear that I’ve pissed her off so badly, she’ll see how damaged I still am and decide Rob was the better pick all along.
Getting to the library, I park my truck and walk up the steps. Sitting down at a table to wait for the others, I grab my phone. She hasn’t text or called, telling me that she’s more than pissed right now. I debate with myself whether I should call her and apologize for being a possessive asshole, but when one of the guys from the group arrives, I put my cell back in my pocket.
Everyone slowly starts arriving and the memory of when we first formed this group crosses my mind. I recall how much I wanted Hillary at the beginning of the year. She still gives me those fuck-me eyes, and it almost happened one time, but Jessa had already started claiming my heart by then. Since Hillary’s just as career-oriented as I’ve always been, we were a good fit. Neither of us wanted more, so it would have been perfect.
My pen teeter-totters back and forth as I stare at my paper, thinking maybe I should’ve gone that route. Getting involved with Jessa has complicated my life beyond recognition. It’s made me second-guess all of my goals, and I’ve become willing to change everything I’ve been working toward just to make sure she’s the one by my side. I’ve done a complete one-eighty in a very short time.
Finally after five agony-filled hours, we all start packing up. I feel like an ass, knowing I haven’t contributed much this session. Another reason falling in love sucks; it distracts you from everything else you’re doing and usually at the most inopportune times.
“Hey Grant,” Hillary says to me as I’m standing by the elevator.
“Hi Hillary,” I respond back, focusing my eyes on the silver doors in front of me.
“Did you have a nice spring break?” she asks. I know her body is turned my way but I keep mine facing forward.
“Yeah,” I answer, and then I shift my head around to see where everyone else has disappeared to. Relief hits me when the elevator doors open, but it’s quickly replaced by discomfort when I realize we’re going to be by ourselves in the confined space. I walk in, chastising myself for sweating it. It’s not like she’s going to bite.
She follows behind and before the doors even close, she starts talking again. “I worked at my dad’s law firm for the week. Kind of boring but great experience,” she divulges and I nod my head. I feel like a dick, but this funk that has come over me since I left Jessa won’t go away. “So, you want to get a bite to eat?” she asks. Fortunately, the doors open then and I practically sprint out.
“Sorry, Hillary. I have to be somewhere.” I give her a curt smile before walking away.
The nice, spring weather feels good but does nothing to improve my mood. The walk across the parking lot to get to my truck is filled with agony over what to do. Should I go to Jessa’s or just go home? The thought of seeing that douchebag there infuriates me. Taking the phone out of my pocket, I check to find that there’s still nothing. Why the fuck hasn’t she tried to get ahold of me? Does she not give a shit anymore? Have I finally crossed over that line where she can’t handle all my fucking baggage?
“Grant!” I hear a female yell, pulling me away from my thoughts. I glance up and release a heavy sigh.
“Emily,” I say with an exasperated breath.
“Oh, I’m glad you’re here. Can you give me a ride? I was supposed to be meeting Katie here, but she ditched me for some guy. I don’t want to walk home in these heels or I’ll get blisters…”
Not wanting to hear anymore from her, I instruct her to get in the truck, and a wide smile spreads across her lips. Regret consumes me immediately when I notice her reaction, and I hope to God she knows this is just a ride and nothing more.
She scrambles in and I’m thankful when she stays on her side. Starting the truck, I begin to reverse, and when I place my hand on the back of the seat to check behind me, she places her neatly manicured hand on my thigh. My body abruptly tenses and I jerk the truck to a stop. “Remove it, Emily,” I seethe through my teeth.
Rolling her eyes, she removes her hand and straightens her body as though I offended her. She’s quiet most of the way, until I pull up to her sorority house.
“Where are you going?” she asks.
“You said you needed a ride,” I remind her.
“I’m going to your house. The girls are going over there to watch the game tonight.” The condescending tone in her voice makes me wish I was the type of guy who could drop her off at the corner and take off.
“Fine.” I jerk the shifter into drive and speed away from the curb.
“You know, Grant, you kind of led me on,” Emily’s sour voice states.
“I never led you on, Emily. There was never anything between us.” Why I’m even engaging her in conversation baffles me.
“I liked you and I know you liked me too, until she came into the picture,” she continues. My knuckles are turning white from the tight grip I have on the steering wheel.
“First, her name is Jessa. Second, if she wouldn’t have come into the picture, you’re right, I would have fucked you and then left you.” My words are harsh but true. Jessa changed me, and I’m not sure anyone else could have.
“Jesus, Grant, you’re being an asshole,” she spouts, crossing her arms and staring out the window. Good, hopefully she’ll shut her mouth now.
I’ve never been happier to be at my fraternity house than I am now. Emily quickly escapes the truck and I casually park in my spot and walk through the back door. Taking the staircase, I give a quick hello to Matt and the guys. Matt eyes me questioningly and I realize that I have no idea where Emily ventured to, nor do I care.
Once I get to my room, I sit on my bed, running my hand through my hair. Decisions and outcomes fill my head. I’m so fucking confused. I didn’t think the fight was that big. I mean sure, it’s the first time we’ve really raised our voices at each other, but I know we’re better than that. We didn’t face and overcome both our pasts to let one fight ruin everything.
Go
ing to my fail-safe, I open the drawer that holds the letters from my mom. I’ve already read this one, but I need to hear her voice again. I pull out the box of letters and grab the one titled, Love Lost. It strikes me as odd that I opened this one after Lizzy, but never opened the Love one until Jessa.
Dear Grant,
So you got your heart broken. You’re probably telling yourself you’ll never fall in love again. That you’ll never get close to someone again. But you will. As much as it hurts, sweetheart, you have to let it go and welcome love when it comes around again. This one wasn’t it, but the next might be. Don’t close off your heart just because you had one bad experience.
My question to you is this. Can you fix it? Are either one of you being stubborn? Fight for it if you love her that much. Don’t give up, and give her your whole self, Grant.
Don’t go through heartbreak for no reason. Fight and save it, if there’s any hope at all. Don’t be a bystander to your life, Grant, be an active participant.
Love,
Mom
XOXO
I tuck it back in the envelope, knowing my mom’s right. This small disagreement is nothing in comparison to what Jessa and I have. I’m not going to let her get away. I see the last letter sitting in the box and I contemplate its fate. A warm feeling spreads through my body and I automatically know it’s time. This is it. I’m not letting the best thing that’s happened in my life slip away.
Packing my bag and not willing to take no for an answer from Jessa, I’ll be spending the night there until he leaves. If Rob’s there, I’m there. A soft knock hits my door and I smile, assuming it’s Jessa. Thank God. I knew we were on the same page. I spring the door open, ready to embrace her, when I find Emily in the doorway. What the hell does she want now?
Chapter 24
Jessa
I’m grateful for the long walk back to the house, although my anger soon shifts to sadness. After Colorado, I thought Grant and I had conquered our pasts. The more I pick apart the scenario that just happened, the more it doesn’t add up. God, I shouldn’t have let Emily get the best of me when she threw my past in my face. I regret not opening that door into Grant’s room. As much as it terrified me to see what was on the other side, I should’ve faced it head on and not let him get away with it. And that’s if he was even there. I know Emily is a conniving bitch, and the fact that I let her get to me like that pisses me off.
Let Me In (The Invisibles #2) Page 24
