by June Francis
‘But you can’t go charging off, trying to find them on your own,’ Jane protested. ‘You must realise by now that even the journey to Draymore Manor and back was too much for you. You were exhausted and in pain when we arrived here.’
‘That’s because I fell on my shoulder. I’ll make sure I don’t do something as foolish next time and I won’t be walking either,’ he said firmly. ‘Horseback and boat will be my means of travel.’
She rose from the bed. ‘I can’t believe you would be such a fool.’
Nicholas’s brow knit. ‘Don’t worry, I’m not planning on leaving for at least a week. I haven’t forgotten I must reaffirm the vows Pip took in my place.’
Jane sat down again. ‘So you are going to be sensible?’
He nodded. ‘But it’s even more imperative that I speak to Matt about getting a message to Pip since hearing what Berthe told me.’
‘What did she tell you that you didn’t tell me?’ asked Jane. ‘Be honest with me.’
Nicholas hesitated. ‘I have not lied to you. I am just considering what I must tell Pip. Hopefully when he receives my message, he’ll be able to find me some answers.’ He paused. ‘You can provide me with writing implements in the morning?’
‘Of course,’ said Jane in a long-suffering tone, removing the tray. ‘And now I must look at your shoulder.’
Nicholas’s lips twisted. ‘Can’t it wait until morning? After a night’s rest I will be a better patient. Right now I’m not sure my well-being would be improved. What would make me feel better, Jane, is if you rest with me for a while and we discuss my plans for our future, in comfort.’
‘Rest with you!’ said Jane, taken aback, placing the tray on the chest. ‘I will do no such thing, Nicholas Hurst—that is, unless you tell me what Berthe told you,’ she said crossly. ‘I’d like to know more about Madame Dupon or I will begin to suspect she might be another mistress of yours.’
His hazel eyes widened with shock. ‘God’s blood, Jane, of course she’s not my mistress. Never has been.’
Jane could not deny that his reaction appeared utterly genuine. ‘I believe you,’ she said quickly.
‘Good, because I’m telling the truth. You have no competition for my affections.’ He stretched out and seized a handful of her skirt and tugged. She allowed herself to be pulled closer and sat down once more on the bed. His lips feather-brushed the curve of her eyebrow and then her cheek and the corner of her mouth. ‘Does that reassure you?’
She did not reply, but it was extremely pleasant being held so close and having his lips gently nuzzling her skin after the worrying day she had suffered. It had seemed to go on for ever and was still not over. She could not resist cradling his jaw and bringing his mouth against hers.
Their lips met in a kiss that was deep and sensual and when that kiss trailed off, they took a breath before melting into another kiss. She felt as if she was floating and, reaching out for his hand, she drew his arm further around her. His strong fingers cupped her left breast, caressing its peak through the fabric of her gown. She felt a thrill ripple through her and she pressed even closer to him and instantly became aware of his arousal. She found it gratifying that he found her so desirable and did not consider her wooden as the galleon he had likened her to. It would be so easy to surrender herself to him, but hardly sensible in the circumstances. Especially when a voice in her head was telling her that she was still no wiser about Madame Dupon.
She broke away from him and gasped, ‘But why should Madame Dupon care about Matilda? Why should she believe that she is a princess?’
He did not immediately reply, but looked dazed. ‘How can you talk of such matters now?’ he asked.
‘Because I need to be sure I can trust you,’ she said unsteadily. ‘What is your daughter to her?’
Nicholas groaned inwardly. How was it that minds seemed able to behave separately from their bodies at the most inconvenient moments? Yet he knew that he could not put off the truth any longer—to avoid answering the question would only make Jane more suspicious. It might not bode well for further kisses and a wedding, still...
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair and grimaced as the edge of his fingernail caught the cut. ‘She is Matilda’s aunt,’ he said.
His reply was definitely not what Jane had expected. ‘You mean that—that...she is Louise’s sister?’
‘Aye! Although I have never met her.’
‘Then—then she could have taken charge of Matilda?’ said Jane slowly.
‘Aye, but it was not my wish and Louise wanted me to bring Matilda to England and rear her as my daughter, so I took the necessary steps to ensure that I was legally able to do so.’
‘How?’ she croaked.
‘I married Louise.’
Jane felt as if her heart was about to leap out of her chest and she could neither speak nor take her eyes from his face. ‘You—you married Louise despite her having deceived you?’
His expression was suddenly angry. ‘What would you expect me to do in the circumstances? She wanted to be absolved of her sin, so I sent for a priest and we were married. At least my daughter is no bastard child! Surely you can understand why I did it? There really is no reason why it should make any difference to us.’
Jane could only stare at Nicholas and wonder how he could think that. He had cared enough for the tempestuous and beautiful Louise to fall in with her wishes. This despite his having met Jane since parting from his mistress last summer. At the back of her mind had been the thought that their meeting that day had been what caused him to alter his decision to enter the church. Obviously she had been mistaken and only when Louise had died and he had a child on his hands had he begun to consider that a marriage between himself and Jane would be extremely convenient.
‘I know what you are thinking,’ said Nicholas, reaching out a hand to Jane and caressing her shoulder.
She trembled beneath his touch, wishing that he had kept his secret. Perhaps he would have done if she had not insisted on answers. ‘Tell me then, what am I thinking?’ she asked harshly.
‘You want to know what I would have done if Louise had not died.’
‘You’re mistaken,’ she said, ducking away from his hand and getting up from the bed. ‘I know what you would have done. You’d have kept your vows—and no doubt next time I saw you it would have been under very different circumstances.’
He shook his head. ‘Her death was imminent, Jane, otherwise I would not have agreed to her request. She really did die not long after giving birth. There might have been a time when I desired Louise with an intensity that was painful, but I was cured of such feelings when I met you and the children. However, I did pity her. Most of all I was determined to take responsibility for my actions and care for the child Louise had given her life for. This despite knowing taking Matilda was going to complicate my life. Especially when I truly was already considering asking you to marry me. I had already agreed to be Simon’s godfather so that was one step nearer to being closer to you. Yet I could not be absolutely certain that you would agree to be my wife. Not only because of what you knew about Louise—for I was aware that you were a woman of high moral standards—but also because, despite all I could offer you of a material nature, you might have begun to consider it too dangerous to be married to me.’ He paused briefly. ‘As the last few days have proved, there is some truth in the latter. According to Berthe, Louise’s sister blames me for her death and so the number of my enemies has increased. I would understand if you no longer wish to marry me, as being my wife could be even more dangerous.’
‘I realise that now,’ said Jane slowly. She knew that she had to give all that he had just said a lot of consideration for the sake of the children, not only herself.
‘It is not a decision I would rush you into making, Jane, if I didn’t believe it the right path to take,’ he said, gazing at her intently. ‘What has happened today has changed matters. I would not want you and the children hurt, but I would add that th
ere are safe places in the world to which we could go if you were still prepared to accept my proposal of marriage.’
She nodded. ‘Perhaps we should not discuss this any further now,’ she said wearily.
‘Aye, let us see what the next few days bring. May God grant you a good night’s sleep, my dear,’ he said quietly.
‘I’ll leave you to rest,’ she said, opening the door before picking up the tray.
‘Thank you, Jane, for your care and your cooking. I will see you in the morning?’
‘In the morning,’ she whispered, closing the door behind her.
* * *
Neither spent a good night, having much on their minds. Nicholas realised just how much he wanted to marry Jane after having held her in his arms and shared kisses with her. He toyed with the idea that he might even be falling in love with her. It was not a word that he used lightly after his experience with Louise—even Berthe had betrayed him in a fashion despite her denial. He believed he could trust Jane. He spent a large part of the night considering ways that she and the children could be kept safe, if she did marry him, that did not involve risky sea voyages.
As for Jane, she could not forget his speaking of her as a ship and a marvellous ship full of treasure at that. He wouldn’t have done so if he knew she had committed adultery, even if she had not known Willem was married at the time. Not only that, but she had not been honest with Simon when she had accepted his proposal of marriage.
She gnawed on her lip until it bled, her thoughts going round and round in her head as she lay on her pallet. Could she tell Nicholas the whole truth? Admit that she had been with child when she had married Simon Caldwell? If she did, what right had he to be angry with her? After all, Nicholas had not immediately told her that he had married Louise—and he might not have done so if she had not been so insistent about Madame Dupon. She had to admit, though, that he could have lied to her about the Flemish woman being Matilda’s aunt and Jane would have been none the wiser. But he had not done so, which meant his behaviour could not in any way compare with hers. She had to confess that the thought of telling him the truth still filled her with dread.
* * *
It was just after dawn when Jane rose, having been shaken awake by Margaret who had told her that not only was someone knocking at the door, but that Simon was crying. She went and looked out of the window and saw that it was Anna and so unbolted the door and invited her inside. She had brought a freshly baked loaf for the household and after Jane had paid Anna what was due to her, the two women talked and exchanged babies. Jane remembered to ask for Matt to call that morning so Nicholas could give him the message he wanted delivered to his elder brother’s shipyard in Greenwich. Shortly after, Anna left with Simon.
James and Elizabeth were awake by then and so Jane had breakfast with the children before preparing a tray for Nicholas. At the back of her mind was still the thought of what he had told her about Louise and her own failing. It came as no surprise to discover him awake. He had already divested himself not only of his shirt, but somehow had managed to remove the dressing on his shoulder. She thought he looked drawn and guessed that he was also in pain.
‘That wasn’t very wise of you,’ she said, frowning as she placed the tray across his lap and inspected his shoulder wound closely. To her relief it appeared to be healing. Nevertheless, she wasted no time cleaning the wound and smoothing on salve and binding it up with a fresh dressing.
‘So, how long before you deem it has healed enough for me to be able to ride?’ he asked. ‘Two weeks?’
‘Surely from your previous experiences of such wounds you should be able to answer that yourself.’ Jane gathered up the soiled dressing and the rag she had used and placed them in a bowl.
He shrugged. ‘I have forgotten. Did you remember to ask Anna to speak to Matt?’
She nodded. ‘I will bring writing implements to you within the hour.’
He stroked his jaw. ‘I could do with a shave, but perhaps I should grow a beard. Would you like me with a beard?’
‘I suppose it could act as a disguise if our enemy was to come looking for you.’
‘That is not what I asked, but I take your meaning,’ he said with a wry smile.
Their eyes locked and there was a silence. She wondered if he was waiting for her to say that she was prepared to take the risk and marry him, despite the possible danger to her and the children. Yet she could not bring herself to say it right now.
She hurried out and went downstairs, telling herself that she was all kinds of a coward.
Jane returned a short while later with the writing implements that Nicholas had requested and removed his eating utensils, but left him the tray which she dusted before placing two precious sheets of paper on it.
‘Is there aught else you need?’ she asked.
‘Only a kiss from you, Jane,’ he said, reaching out and seizing her hand and drawing her close. She found herself melting towards him and pressed her lips against his. ‘Perhaps I will marry you, but not for a while,’ she blurted out before she could stop herself and hurried from the bedchamber.
He called her back, but she continued down the stairs. Why had she agreed and then put off the wedding when she knew she wanted to be his wife? Why couldn’t she just be honest with him and then she would know where she was with him? She must visit the priest, confess her sin and ask his advice. Most likely he would tell her what to do, but she knew what she should do, so what was the point of confessing? She needed more time to think. In the meantime Nicholas would wish to see his daughter, so she had Margaret carry Matilda upstairs. Later she would go up herself and see if he had finished writing the missive for Matt to take to Philip in Greenwich.
* * *
Nicholas had obviously been pleased to see his daughter and thanked Jane for her thoughtfulness. ‘I also am grateful for your trust in me by agreeing to be my wife. I wish it could be sooner, but I understand your reasoning. I promise you, though, that I will not fail you,’ he said with obvious sincerity.
Emotion had her by the throat and she could only nod, aware of the guilt that weighed heavy on her conscience. ‘I would like to see where we are to live first,’ she murmured, lifting his daughter into her arms.
‘That can be arranged,’ he said.
She thanked him. ‘I presume we’ll take the children with us. I have to say that Matilda is such a pretty baby and I am glad she has your eyes.’
‘Thank you, Jane.’ He paused. ‘Is there any sign of Willem and Berthe yet?’
‘No. I wonder...’
‘So do I.’
At that moment there came a call from downstairs and she excused herself.
Matt had arrived and Jane took him upstairs and left him with Nicholas. No sooner had he left than Anna came with Simon, bursting with the news that Master Godar and that baby snatcher had been seen riding out of town. Jane wasted no time, climbing the stairs to tell Nicholas the news.
‘What are we going to do?’ she demanded.
‘Wait,’ he said succinctly.
‘For what?’ She sat on the bed and stared at him.
‘To discover what game Godar is playing and also to see what results from the message Matt is taking to Pip.’ Nicholas rose from the bed. ‘In the meantime I will speak to the priest, if you will give me directions to his house.’
‘What for? Besides, he could visit you up here. There is no need for you to get up,’ insisted Jane.
‘I have no intention of remaining abed any longer. It’s time you and the children stopped sleeping on pallets downstairs and had your privacy once again,’ he said firmly. ‘I will make do on a pallet whilst you all sleep up here. In the meantime, I will do as you ask and see the priest here if you will let him know that.’
Jane agreed, knowing it would obviously be a waste of time insisting he stayed in bed. Once downstairs, she left him talking to James whilst she went to visit the priest and to buy fish for their midday meal. She returned to the house with the
news that the priest would call later that afternoon.
* * *
Jane soon realised that the cleric was more than a little in awe of Nicholas and she admired him for the way in which he put the man at ease whilst answering several questions on the sacred sites that he had visited during his travels. Then Nicholas asked her to leave them alone and she had no choice but to do so. Even so, she could not help wishing she could have listened in on their conversation.
* * *
After the priest left, Nicholas told her that the cleric had suggested that this coming Sunday he should attend church with Jane and the children if he felt well enough to reaffirm the vows his brother had made in his place. With that settled, Nicholas discussed with Jane the journey to Bristol so that she could inspect the two houses he had inherited. ‘I would like to go after Easter,’ he said.
‘It is not that long off,’ said Jane. ‘We will need another wet nurse as Anna cannot come with us.’
‘I have mentioned our need for a wet nurse in my letter to Pip. Hopefully Tabitha is able to fill that role. If not, then we will have to look elsewhere,’ said Nicholas.
Jane could only agree.
* * *
Sunday dawned and Nicholas affirmed the proxy vows. It was a solemn but happy occasion, although Nicholas found it unexpectedly alarming to officially be responsible for the well-being of Simon’s soul.
* * *
On the following Wednesday morning, Nicholas told Jane that he was considering travelling to Oxford to visit a friend, Magnus, who was a tutor at one of the colleges. Jane’s heart sank, convinced that he was feeling restless due to his staying in one place too long. She was not in favour of his going to Oxford alone and told him so, reminding him that he had sent a message to the constable and if he was to arrive whilst Nicholas was absent, the constable would not be pleased.
