Hilariously Ever After

by Box Set

  I have no restraint. At all.

  Two weeks with only the uncomfortable chafing of my own hand is a poor replacement for Violet. The way she tastes, the way she feels against my body and in my arms, combined with the frustration over being ejected from the game and the fight, is like an emotional, hormonal, adrenaline bomb.

  “Fuck, I missed you.”

  I grab her ass and pull her in tight. Her lips part and I seek out her tongue with my own. There’s no softness in this kiss; I’m pent up and on overload. Wrapping my arm around her waist, I lift her off the ground. Her feet dangle a few inches above the floor as I cross the room, away from the entrance and the security detail—who clearly aren’t doing their job since Violet is in here.

  I set her down in front of the lockers and she shoves her hips into mine. “Ow!”

  “Cup.”

  She feels around between us. “Of course, good idea. Protect your snuffie.”

  “My what?”

  “Your snuffie. Your cock.”

  “Huh?”

  “You know. Like Snuffleupagus.”

  She nibbles my lip, probably as a distraction from the comparison of my most prized body part to a children’s show character.

  “My cock in no way resembles a fuzzy, make-believe elephant.” I take care of my shit.

  “It’s uncut, so it’s a snuffie, and it’s like a mythological creature, being so monstrous and all.”

  “You’re not nicknaming my dick Snuffie, just so we’re—” I yank her shirt over her head.

  I’m met with the most amazing bra I’ve ever seen. Ever. It’s awesome. It’s red and white and frilly and mesh so I can see her nipples through the fabric. Her boobs are nestled in there, just waiting for my hands and mouth to be on them.

  “I missed you, too,” I tell them as I press my face into her chest and taste her warm skin. Violet makes those fantastic sounds I love.

  “I love this bra,” I say from between her boobs.

  “I thought you might.”

  I walk her backward until she hits the lockers. She pushes her chest out, gripping my hair. As much as I want to admire the way she looks in this bra, I want her naked more. I can take my time later this weekend, when I have a bed, the privacy of my condo, and unlimited hours in which to enjoy every inch of her body. I need to get inside her. Now.

  The cup is a problem, and if I don’t get it off soon, I’ll end up with a sprained dick. I have no desire to be relegated to mouth and finger duty for the rest of the weekend. My cock will not stand for it. The cup is secured with snaps; I struggle with them while still trying to kiss Violet.

  “Let me help.” Violet sinks to her knees, unclasps her bra, lets it drop to the floor, and moves my hands out of the way.

  My dick kicks behind the cup, trying to get free. I wanna fuck. Bad.

  Violet frees the snaps. “I was a Girl Scout,” she says as though her skills in cup removal require an explanation. She tilts her head to the right as she frees me to avoid getting hit in the face with my twitching, swinging, super hard erection.

  She gives my cock a soft, slow stroke. “I missed you.” Leaning in, she nuzzles my dick against her cheek. Violet looks up and brushes her lips over the head.

  “Fuck. Baby, don’t do that.”

  “Why not?” She gives me another stroke.

  “I appreciate the sentiment, but—”

  She runs her tongue across the slit. I’m sweaty and disgusting, but if it tastes bad, she doesn’t let on. I think I love her. My cock jerks in her hand, and I hit my head against the lockers, the heavy thud echoing in the room.

  If she puts her mouth on me, I’ll come. I can’t let that happen. Sex in the locker room is my number one fantasy. Well, maybe not my number one—that’s boob sex. Anywhere. This is a close second.

  I haul her to her feet and drop to my knees. I unbutton her jeans and discover her panties match the bra: red mesh I can see through with the same white lacy ruffle.

  “I know the gift card was for my boobs, but I didn’t want my beaver to feel left out.” She traces the lacy waistband with a fingertip.

  “Totally understandable.”

  I slide her jeans down her thighs, taking a moment to appreciate her soft skin. Running my hands up the back of her legs, I cup her ass with one hand and the back of her knee with the other. The motherland is right in front of my face. While I can’t wait to be inside, I’m well aware no matter how turned on she is, getting in there without a warm-up is inadvisable. Plus, I promised to eat her, and I keep my promises.

  Hooking her leg over my shoulder, I kiss my way from her knee up the inside of her thigh, nipping a little on the way.

  She tries to be quiet, but her hushed whimpers are my favorite sound in the world.

  “Is this okay, baby?” I can tell it is. I still want her breathless, panted words. The ones that make me ache for the warmth of her body.

  She exhales sharply as I place two small, wet kisses just above her pussy. “Please, Alex.”

  I don’t need further invitation; I stroke her with my tongue. And then I do it again, and again. She writhes against my face, her eyes closed, biting her knuckle to keep from making too much noise. Her palm slams against the lockers as she comes on my mouth.

  Her other hand is twined in my hair, yanking. It takes me a while to realize she’s trying to get me to come up for air. Her eyes bug out, and she swipes at my chin with her palm. “Oh, God. That’s . . . I’m so leaky.”

  “I love the way you taste.” I’m egotistical enough to believe I’m the reason she gets so wet. I stroke myself a couple of times with my slick fingers, and then I grab her ass, pinning her against the lockers.

  “Two weeks is too long to wait for this.”

  “I know. I went through monster cock withdrawal.”

  I lower her onto me and try not to think about how fucking fantastic it feels to be inside Violet again or how I plan to do a lot more of it over the next couple of days. I search for something else to focus on so I don’t come too fast. Stats usually work, but getting kicked out of the game makes it a bad place for my mind to go. I shift my hips back and thrust hard. Violet gasps, and her head thumps against the locker.

  “Shit. Sorry.”

  “For what?”

  “Not too hard?”

  She shakes her head. She kisses across my jaw to my ear and whispers, “Come on, Alex. Fuck me.”

  That’s it. She can’t whisper things like that and expect me to be a gentleman. Although, considering we’re having sex in a locker room, gentlemanliness went out the window a while ago.

  I pull out until only the head is still inside and then push back in, fast and deep. “Like this?”

  I take her garbled response as an affirmative and do it again. Her head lolls back, hitting the locker with a metallic thump. I try to fight off the orgasm threatening to overtake me. It’s coming anyway, and I can’t stop it. Violet wraps her legs tighter around my waist, and her nails dig into my shoulders as I pound into her relentlessly.

  Violet doesn’t seem to mind my complete loss of control. She bites my neck and mutters fuck me repeatedly. I change the angle to get a better grip on her ass, and she circles her hips. Bowing my head, I bite the skin just above her breast, and she lets out the sexiest, sweetest cry.

  “I’m gonna fuck you until you can’t walk.”

  It’s no way to talk to the woman I am currently having aggressive, hot sex with against a set of lockers, regardless of whether it’ll be true. I wait for her to slap me across the face.

  Instead she smacks my ass and groans. “I damn well hope so.”

  The banging of the lockers grows louder the harder I go. Violet chants how much she loves my cock the closer she gets to an orgasm. It makes me feel like a superstar. Beyond the walls of the locker room, I hear the sound of the buzzer and raucous cheers. I’m too wrapped up in the feel to get what it means.

  Suddenly, I’m being squeezed so hard the circulation to my dick feels like it
’s being cut off. Violet calls out my name, followed by a string of colorful profanities as she comes. Hard. So do I.

  I feel like the champion of the world. Just as I surface from the abyss of sexual gratification, I hear voices.

  “That was unreal,” Violet says. “I want you to do me again.”

  “Violet, baby—”

  She kisses me fiercely. “I love it when you call me baby.”

  Violet is so out of it, she hasn’t registered we’re no longer alone. Well, as alone as we possibly could be with security guards hanging out in the hallway.

  The voices grow louder, filtering into the locker room. I tuck Violet’s head into my neck and angle my body so the only parts of her showing are her legs wrapped around my waist. Even that’s too much exposure. If I hadn’t been so volatile tonight, we wouldn’t be in this situation. I just keep screwing things up all over the place where Violet is concerned.

  “What the fuck, Waters?”

  Butterson’s voice echoes through the room. While I don’t particularly care if he knows about Violet and me, his walking in while I’m banging her against the lockers isn’t going to go over well. Some of the other guys stop short. The majority turn around, staying on the other side of the room, where Violet and I are mostly out of view.

  “Uh-oh,” Violet whispers, burying her face in my neck. “I think we’re pucked.”

  “You’re unbelievable, man. You get kicked out of the game, and first thing you do is find a bunny to screw?” Butterson sounds somewhere between incredulous and envious.

  “You might want to give us a minute,” I say, adjusting my grip on Violet’s ass. I have no idea how I’m going to get her out of here without anyone else seeing her naked.

  “Now you’re looking for privacy? You should’ve thought of that before you decided to fuck some bunny against the lockers.”

  While I totally deserve to have the piss taken out of me for this, the situation blows.

  “Hey, Butterson,” Kirk says. “Isn’t that your sister?”

  If we weren’t pucked before, we sure as hell are now.

  Chapter 17

  JUST BECAUSE IT FEELS GOOD DOESN’T MEAN IT’S A GOOD IDEA

  Violet

  My state of blissful wonder is short-lived in the face of Kirk’s ill-timed question. I’m beginning to think locker-room sex wasn’t the best plan. Especially during the third period. Too bad I’ve already done it.

  Alex holds my head against his neck, protecting me from the eyes of his teammates.

  “Wait a minute. Violet? No way! No fucking way! NO FUCKING WAY!” Buck shouts. “Is your dick in my SISTER?”

  It’s so humiliating it’s laughable. It’s bad enough I’m naked, wrapped around my . . . Alex, who I’m in a yet-to-be-defined relationship with. Having my stepbrother yell at him while he’s still inside me is beyond reasonable levels of mortification.

  I lift my head so I can state the inappropriately obvious. “I’m your stepsister.” As if technicalities are going to stop the rumble about to go down. “And Alex can stick his dick in me whenever he wants.” The last part is unnecessary. I’ve ignored Buck’s warning and hooked up with Alex, except I’ve taken it to the next level by getting it on in a public venue with all his teammates as witnesses.

  I might as well throw dynamite in a gasoline fire.

  “I’LL KICK YOUR ASS, WATERS!” Buck continues his bellowing. His volume is excessive as he’s mere feet away.

  Alex doesn’t so much as flinch. He strokes a gentle palm down my back, a stark contrast to the angry, dirty sex we’ve just engaged in.

  Breaking the connection, Alex unwraps my legs from his waist and sets me down gently, using his body to shield my nakedness from Buck and Kirk and whoever else is watching the show. I’m having a hard time standing without assistance so I grab his shoulders. He wasn’t lying about fucking me until I couldn’t walk.

  “Let me handle this, baby.”

  “Did you just call her ‘baby’? How long has this been going on? Get your damn hands off my sister!” Buck’s face is an unnatural shade of red; verging on purple. He looks like he’s going to have a heart attack.

  I’d love to put my clothes on, but they’re strewn all over the floor. I can’t reach them without someone getting a glimpse of my well-used cooter. Alex can’t get them for me, either, as he’s acting as a human shield, guarding my naked body from the teams’ hungry eyes. Okay, maybe I’m being a little over dramatic. Most of them aren’t looking at all.

  “Waters, I’m not going to tell you again. Get away from my sister.”

  Buck’s tone has changed to the quiet-calm voice he uses when he’s so furious he can barely function. I’ve seen him like this a couple of times before. Usually over Xbox. It’s not good. I have a feeling he’s going to try to break Alex.

  Alex spins to face him. Since I’m looking at the floor, I see his dick swing in the process. I hold back the inappropriate laughter when I hear it slap against his thigh. I love his penis. I want to give it a sponge bath and dress it up like a super hero.

  Peeking over his shoulder; I see a few more team members standing behind Buck, gawking rather than going about their business. I can’t blame them. This is rather entertaining.

  Buck shifts his angry glare from Alex to me. “What’s wrong with you?” He’s back to yelling.

  “Pardon me?” I ask, all snarky.

  “Do you think we could get a towel?” Alex asks.

  “Screw you! I’m not getting you shit,” Buck replies.

  “It’s not for me, asshole. It’s for Violet. Unless you’d like the entire team to see her naked.” Alex matches him, even voiced and calm.

  Darren, who’s valiantly trying to keep his eyes averted, tosses a towel to Alex, who in turn hands it to me. Once I’m wrapped up, Buck takes a swing at Alex. It’s totally unexpected; at least I don’t expect it. Apparently Alex does. He grabs me around the waist and moves us out of the way. I feel the whoosh of air on my cheek as Buck’s giant fist misses my face by mere inches.

  Alex sets me down and shoves Buck, hard. “What’s wrong with you? You could’ve hurt her.”

  Buck still has skates on; he stumbles backward, struggling to stay upright. Darren and Kirk move in as if to break them up.

  “Enough!”

  Gripping my towel with one hand to keep it in place, I put a palm on Buck’s chest. It’s gross how sweaty he is. His jersey is drenched. Alex is right behind me, his chest against my back. I’m a miniature person compared to the two of them; they glare at each other over my head.

  “What the hell are you doing with him?” Buck spits on my face as he yells.

  This is so repulsive. I’ll never have sex in a locker room again. I could get plantar warts from standing on the dirty floor without shoes. Okay, so the floor isn’t dirty at all. This is like a damn hotel room except it smells like sweaty men, hockey equipment, and sex—thanks to Alex and me.

  “Can you quit it with the yelling? I’m standing right here. I can definitely hear what you’re saying just fine without you trying to shower me in saliva and shatter my eardrums.”

  Buck gestures to Alex, his expression reflecting his disbelief. “He fucks anything with a pulse!”

  “Says the walking venereal disease.” God, I’m good today.

  “I bag my shit! I don’t have fungus growing on my dick. I can’t say the same for this asshole.” Buck points an accusatory finger at Alex.

  “What the hell is going on here? The coach comes in, surveying the scene with a critical, confused eye. “Who hired a hooker? You know the policy on that.”

  “Oh my God.” I grip the towel tight and hide behind my hand, utterly mortified.

  “Watch it, Coach. That’s my sister.” Buck’s tone, while controlled, holds warning and a lot of pent-up anger. I’m thinking that’s mostly due to walking in on the locker sex—oh, and the fact that I’m now being pegged as a puck bunny of the lowest form.

  “Your sister’s a hooker?” Co
ach asks.

  What the hell? Is everyone in this room below intellectual average other than Alex? More importantly, do I look like a hooker? I suppose my nakedness paints me as such. I peek out from between my fingers—I’ve ascribed to the childish notion if I can’t see anyone, no one can see me either.

  Alex hulks out again, taking a protective stance in front of me. “She’s not a hooker; she’s my girlfriend!” he roars.

  Literally, he roars. It’s loud and guttural. It makes my ears hurt since he’s so close.

  Getting caught having sex is only the tip of the embarrassment iceberg. Now that the coach has accused me of being a prostitute, Buck looks like he’s going to blow. I’m waiting for the top of his head to pop off and steam to come pouring out along with the limited amount of brain matter he keeps in there.

  I look up at Alex and whisper, “Can I get dressed now?”

  Coach blows a whistle around his neck and the chatter stops. “Show’s over. You better hope no one caught wind of this shit, Waters, or you’ll have one hell of a mess to clean up. Take your friend and her clothes to the lounge; then come see me.” His disapproval is clear. “The rest of you, get changed.”

  Alex picks me up by the waist and carries me over to my discarded items while the coach pulls Buck aside.

  Once I’ve secured my clothing, Alex takes me through a door to another room. Couches and a giant flat screen occupy most of the space.

  “Why did we have hot, angry sex against lockers if we could’ve had it here, on this couch? I mean God, Alex, you could’ve just bent me right over and . . .”

  His jaw clenches and a muscle twitches in his cheek. “There’s a couch in my condo I can bend you over tomorrow night if you want. Right now, you should get dressed.”

  Holding the towel in front of me, he checks over his shoulder every few seconds to make sure we’re alone.

  I shimmy back into my pants. “Are you going to be in trouble?”

  “I’ll be in trouble for the fight more than anything else. I should have waited until we were alone.”

  “It was my fault.”