“I’m not wearing my contact lenses, okay?” Bri said, squinting still.
“Yep, it’s him, alright,” Savannah said, patting her on the shoulder. “We gotta get you down there, stat.”
Ava was their little flower girl. Bria gave her a little nudge towards the altar and that was her cue to waddle down the red carpet with a little basket full of wild flowers. She threw the petals onto the floor, almost stumbling over a couple of times, and then when she saw her dad she walked a bit faster, until she ran straight into his arms.
“She’s getting better at this whole walking thing!” he yelled. A wave of laughter rose from the small crowd. Bria’s bridesmaids straightened out her veil and the train of her dress and she was ready to go. Every bridesmaid wore a simple dress of soft sage green and a crown of baby's breath on their heads, the tiny white flowers glowing softly in the late winter light. With their hair loose and in simple canvas shoes, they were like spirits of the forest. Each one of them wearing a smile that could rival the sun above. Before the ceremony started they had been calm, yet now their energy came to the fore and they couldn’t stop squealing. Then finally, Bria stepped out.
With her face to the sun, her golden hair blew in the wind, fanning out behind her. Her dress was simple, clean lines, cream with a lavender waistband and bow. As she held the bouquet her hands twinged with sweat. She was more nervous than ever before. Her heart ran with legs like a sprinter. Her eyebrows frowned in worry and impatience. She glanced at the bouquet ready to keep well away from the plants which were still beautifully deadly. They carried an otherworldly trance. She gulped. It was nearly time. Then the music started playing.
The first thing she saw was Kade. She saw him clearly now; he was wide-eyed, almost gleaming. His pearly teeth showing through his smile. This feeling was like nothing else.
“Honey, when you walk down the aisle, you’ll get a weird feeling,” her mother had told her once when she was nineteen. “It’s not even butterflies, it’s something a little different. It’s more ... intense, like your world is spinning out of control. Don’t be afraid of that feeling, embrace it. Because if you love that man, that man standing at the altar, then just know that this is just the beginning of something wonderful. Bria, sweetie, you’re in for a wild ride.”
Her eyes started swelling up with tears at the recollection of those words. They then settled on two empty chairs, placed tactfully in the front row in honour of both of her parents. She didn’t know if it made her feel any better, but it made her feel something. Were they watching over her? Did they know she was happy? Did they know she was gettig married to “sweet little Kade” from high school? A million questions were zapping through her mind, but she remembered to breathe and move on, breathe and move on. Savvy took her arm and the two of them glided down the aisle like supermodels strutting down the runway, or at least that was what Savvy looked like.
“Slow down,” Bri whispered, her eyes fixated on Kade’s. The truth was that he couldn’t control himself. He stepped down and ran to her. And the two of them met halfway.
“You look wonderful,” he said, kissing her on the cheek. There was the scraping of chairs as folks got up for a standing ovation and the happy couple made their way back to where the Priest was standing. “Sorry about that,” Kade beamed, but inside he had no regrets.
“Hey, Ava!” Bri said, motioning for her to join them at the altar. “Father, can she stand with us?” The big-bellied man smiled and nodded. “Come on, now.” Ava charged towards them, throwing rose petals into the air. Carol thought that this was probably the purest sight she’d ever come across. The three of them stood like a family and the couple exchanged vows. Bri scanned the people’s faces and when she came across Savvy again, she found her crying. She mouthed an “I love you” to her and then Bria felt her heart melt, and her legs wobble underneath her. Everything felt right, everything felt whole. Everything was the way it should be. A chilly autumn breeze came over them, caressing Ari’s face like a tender hand and then spiraled around and flirted with the guests’ hair.
The green flags of the trees had become sepia toned, waving in the southernly wind. Within the multitude of soft chocolatey browns, there was gold shining through, and a blush that brought summer fruits to mind. The leaves danced from branch to ground, each a colourful flag without strings or pole, free to roam. Bri felt the breeze, rich with the aroma of the earth, the keeper of the seeds for the springtime to come. There was a calmness, as if all the gold, berry-reds and browns that fluttered about were a cozy quilt, bringing them the same peace as the nighttime. It was the time she once again saw how the trees were clad in the many hues of the soil, saw how their bark was their fingerprint, speaking to her of beauty in their silent way. It was a special day today and would forever be in her head.
Epilogue
Four Years Later…
Ava couldn’t take her eyes off the bowl left tactfully on top of the freezer. A shower cap over the mixing bowl told her there was bread inside. It was how Bria kept the dough moist and rising. Soon she was standing tall on ballerina toes, savoring the aroma as she peeked inside, eyes wide and smiling. Perhaps if she asked, it could be cinnamon or fruit, after replacing the cap she scampered to begin the persuasion.
“So,” she said, slumping down next to Bria. “What is that, on top of the freezer?”
Bria snapped her book shut and looked at her. “Ava! No more cake until you finish your homework, okay?”
Ava’s shoulders slouched forward, then she gave her those puppy dog eyes that she hated so much because they got to her, every single time. “It’s not gonna work this time, alright?” Ava froze in her place, then she cursed her luck and left the room. Bria followed her with the bowl. “Come, here,” she said, breaking off a chunk of bread and handing it to her.
“This is like Oliver Twist,” Ava said, rolling her eyes.
“Kade!”
“What, is everything okay?” he came rushing down the stairs.
“Ava, honey. You gotta do your homework, alright? Then I’ll give you all the bread you want.”
“Bri’s right, honey. If you do your homework, we’re ordering in tonight!”
Ava’s eyes lit up and her mouth dropped open. “What, for real?”
Bria smiled and shook her head. Kade always played good cop. It was like his strategy, leaving Bria out in the cold while he won his daughter over for the hundredth time. No matter what happened, Ava would always be a daddy’s girl. No matter how old she got, no matter how many boyfriends she had, Kade would never let go of her. He would always be the love of her life. Whenever Bria watched him deal with his daughter, she fell in love with him all over again. There were times when she would watch him read out books to her, study for her, and at times, cook for her. And her heart melted a bit more with each time that she realized she had made the right decision by marrying him.
“Honey, did you hear that?” Kade asked with his head cocked to the side.
“Oh, God. They’re crying,” Bria said, heading for the stairs. Ava followed -- anything so she could get out of doing her homework. “Hey, there. Hi!” Bri whispered softly. Katie clawed at the air, trying to grab the tips of her hair, which dangled into the crib. Tiny fingers curled around her pinky. She watched the newborn peer through brand new eyes at what must've been such a strange world after life in the womb. Katie's legs kicked in a tiny jagged motion, looking for that resistance they were used to, finding nothing but air. Bria wondered if that was unsettling or a relief, it must've have been pretty cramped in there. When she stretched, her hands barely rose above her head and Bria thought of how strange people would look if they kept those body proportions as they grew. Katie was such a doll. Then she began to fret and cry like her brother, and even though everyone told her how annoying that was going to be, she thought it was so cute. She could cry. This was a new person and she was filling up with love for her.
She bent over and looked at them; two pairs of curious eyes staring back
at her, a life admiring another life. A motherly connection like no other. Bria reached out and touched baby Katie’s fingertips; small and smooth like butter. Meanwhile, Chase was still crying.
“Ava, honey. Could you hold Chase for a bit?” she asked. Ava raised her hands up in the air, excited to hold her baby brother. She reached into the crib and picked him up slowly; Bria didn’t even look because she trusted her with him. As soon as she brought Chase to her chest and started rocking him, he stopped crying. Then Ava started singing. Her hum had a happiness; there was something carefree about the notes as they fell into the salty air about her. Bria always thought this girl would grow up to be a singer. Her voice was smooth, clear, and calm yet powerful. Soothing, in a way. It was the promise of tomorrow. It was beautiful and Bri wished that she would never stop.
“He stopped crying,” Ava whispered, planting a kiss on his forehead. Katie stirred in the rough canvas, shivering in the July morning. After life in the womb the air probably felt cold. She couldn’t smell her mother anymore and the warm arms that had held her only moments before were gone. She kicked her legs out in search of something reassuring and instead the swaddling gave way. “She’s looking for you,” Ava said, turning to Bria, who reached into the crib and carried Katie in her arms.
“Oh, look, she’s smiling!” Her newborn baby smile was as sweet as a summer strawberry and filled Bria with a sunshine she never knew existed in the world. She had known what it was like to be a mother for years now, even more after she gave birth to the twins. Her child was her child, boy or girl, biological or not. Her child held her soul in their heart and her heart was forever theirs. Her child was free to live, to learn, and to love whom they love; there was no rule that could contain such a sacred thing. Her child had her support for always and her guidance should they ever seek it. She would walk through the gates of hell to keep them safe and feel honored to be given the chance, feeling only gratitude.
“Well, look at that,” Kade said, stepping into the room.
“Good morning, sleepy head,” Bria said, walking over and planting a kiss on his lips. “You’re up early.”
“Chase is being extra noisy today,” he said, brushing his fingers through his hair and carrying him in his arms. He would’ve never imagined being a father of three. He could barely believe it when Ava came, but, when Bria got pregnant again, he was in a state of total disbelief. He was about to become a father all over again, to become the best version of himself he could be. He remembered that day when he and Bria went for the sonogram, when they realized she was having twins.
“So, boy or girl?” he asked Dr. Wong.
“No! Don’t tell me, I don’t think I want to know anymore,” Bria said, looking the other way and squeezing her eyes shut. Her baby bump was drenched in gel and her hair was splayed out under her; frankly, she looked like a beautiful mess.
“Come on! We said we’d find out today!” Kade said, begging her with his eyes.
Bria squirmed away like a terrified animal. She moaned and wailed and shook her head in protest.
“But you know what, you don’t have to decide,” Dr. Wong said, staring at Bria above the thick rim of his glasses. “You know why? Because you’re having both.”
Bria felt the joy spread out to her limbs. Every part of her body felt happy, albeit a bit overwhelmed. Kade’s eyes started swelling up with tears and that was the first time she’d ever seen him cry tears of joy. He held her in his arms and stroked her hair for what felt like forever, breathing her in, appreciating every moment spent with her. They were actually starting a family now, striving for that next step, plunging into the next chapter of their lives together.
“D’you think Ava’s excited to have not one, but two siblings?” she asked Kade once.
“To be honest, I don’t know how she’s going to react,” he said with his arms folded across his chest. “She’s always been a daddy’s girl, she might get a bit jealous.”
Around eight months later, the unexpected happened, and Ava fell in love with her baby siblings. When Bria gave birth, she rushed into the operating room straight away, ambushing Bria in her bed and demanding to see the twins. “They’re over there,” Bri said, pointing to the crib. The first thing that Ava did when she first saw them was cry, in fact, she cried so much that her tears fell down on them like rain and Dr. Wong had to ask her to step away from the crib.
“Aren’t you glad we had twins, though?” Bria asked, turning to him. Kade felt his heart flutter, and he nodded without hesitation.
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Oh, I’m scared now,” Bri said, taking Kade’s hand and leading him out of the kids’ room. “What’s up?”
“Do you miss your job?”
Bria paused for a moment. “Kind of,” she said, looking up at the ceiling. “I miss the kids, but then again I have a whole nursery waiting for me at home everyday.”
“Well, you still haven’t answered my question.” Kade glanced at her suggestively, like he was onto something.
“Well, I do miss my job,” Bria said. “I miss it very much. Which is why I’m planning on going back soon.” Her lips curved to a sweet smile.
“What, seriously?” Kade said, the silver of his eyes flaring up. “You never told me.”
“Well, I thought about it, like a lot, and I realized that teaching is what I like to do. Everyone has a passion, right? Teaching is my passion, Kade, it’s my passion!”
There was something very endearing about listening to Bria talk about her job. Whenever she talked about kids or teaching, her eyes always seemed to light up like celestial bodies. The truth was that Kade couldn’t wait for Bri to go back to work, just because he knew how giddy she got standing in front of those kids. “I love you, you know that?” Kade said, wrapping his hands around her waist and pulling her close. She leaned in and kissed him but it wasn’t long before Ava came tumbling into the room again.
“Dad, Chase is crying again!”
“I swear, you kids are all the same!” Kade scoffed, stepping out into the corridor and following Ava back to the room.
“Well, at least Ava’s not crying anymore,” Bri said to herself, thinking back to those night terror days. After she and Kade moved in together, he sat her down to talk to her about Ava’s nightmares. At first she didn’t think it was a big deal; all kids have nightmares, right? But after five consecutive nights of screaming, hyperventilating, clammy hands, and shivering, Bri became convinced that it was something more than monsters under her bed.
It went on for a while -Kade just looked like he was used to it- and the more she observed his tactics, the more she was able to handle it herself, and more she fell in love with him. Night terror after night terror, Bria felt more in control, like she was able to pull Ava towards her somehow. She found safety in her stepmom’s hug, one that she hadn’t experienced in a long, long time.
“I like that you’re a girl,” Ava told Bri one day. “You smell like flowers. Dad doesn’t smell like flowers.”
Bria became overwhelmed by this whole thing called motherhood. She was overwhelmed in the best way conceivable, a feeling that didn’t compare to anything else. A tingling in her stomach when she woke Ava up to go to school. Butterflies in her stomach when it was time to breastfeed the kids. Even though she really wanted to get back to work, her kids were her priority right now … the rest could wait.
“Haven’t you noticed something?” Kade asked her over lunch.
“No night terrors?”
“We haven’t woken up in the middle of the night in, what, three weeks now?”
“Well, you haven’t,” she teased. “I on the other hand wake up at sun rise every day because I have to feed the babies.”
“Whatever,” Kade rolled his eyes. “But don’t you see? Ava hasn’t been getting night terrors since Katie and Chase came along!”
Bria paused, considering. Hope bead her skin like dew on spring grass. She could feel it radiating in to soothe her blood. If for
med such perfect spheres, each one like a tiny world of its own. She couldn’t know for sure that today would be better than yesterday, or if this was time they won, but she was optimistic and that was the best she could say. “Wow,” she said finally. Suddenly she began to tear up. For the first time in her life, she had a family.
“What? You just love me too much?” Kade said, flashing her a wry grin.
“That’s true,” she replied, staring at him like she was about to eat him up. “I’m so glad I met you, Kade.”
“Thirteen years ago,” he said.
“Thirteen years. Can you believe it?”
For a while, the two of them just stared at each other. Bria was drowning in the blue of his eyes, melting like she was seeing him for the first time. He couldn’t help but tear up. “It’s weird how every day I feel like I’m running into you for the first time,” she said.
“By the lockers?”
“By the freakin’ lockers!” Bri beamed. Every day, she remembered something new. Another day spent with Kade in the year nineteen ninety-nine, another song they used to listen to, another mix tape he had made her. The sweet thing about all of this was getting to remember all those times that passed by and how different the two of them were. Nothing compared to that feeling, that heartwrenching nostalgia, one that tasted so sweet that it broke their hearts and made them fall in love with each other even more.
“I found a new mix tape,” Kade said, looking rather ashamed of himself. “One that I never sent you.”
“Why?” she asked, raising an eyebrow at him.
He paused for a moment, clearing his throat. “Because it was all Avril Lavigne songs,” he said, and they burst out laughing like a bunch of teenagers.
Second Chances Page 12
