by Leah Brooke
Her smile fell, her stomach knotting. “At first. That was a long time ago. After all these years of having me to himself, the thought of sharing me with another man is hard for him.”
Jesse frowned. “So why didn’t he just tell Hoyt to stay away?”
Nat jumped up again, “Because my husband’s too damned observant and too fucking noble for his own good. He said that he could see that I still love Hoyt.” She rubbed a hand over her stomach. “That’s on me. I tried not to love him, and I certainly never would have done anything about it. I tried to hide it, but obviously I wasn’t successful. Jake saw it, and wants me to be happy. He’s seen enough relationships like yours to know it can work, but I still can’t believe he’d be willing to go through this to make me happy.”
Laughing and crying at the same time, Nat went to the refrigerator and helped herself to some of her sister’s always present apple juice. “I love that man.”
Jesse grinned. “It sure as hell can work. I never could have imagined how well it would work.” Touching Nat’s arm, she frowned again, her eyes filled with concern. “It works for me, but what about you? You haven’t said how you feel about all of this.”
“Scared spitless. Embarrassed. Ashamed.”
After pouring herself and Jesse each a glass of juice, she went back to the table. “It might have been different if the three of us had been together from the very beginning like you, Clay, and Rio, but Jake and I have too much history together. We know each other well. We know each other’s moods.”
Despite her heavy heart, Nat forced a smile, not wanting her sister to worry. “But, we’ll never know if it would work for us.”
She’d made her decision.
She couldn’t have made any other choice.
Determined to make this up to Jake, she pushed aside the yearning for something more. “Having both of them in my life wouldn’t work, and even if I thought it would, I don’t want to take the chance of hurting Jake. He’s been there for me for all these years, and there’s no way I’d ever do anything to hurt him. I told him that Hoyt could never come between us, but I don’t know if he believes that.” Shaking her head, she reached for her glass. “I won’t do anything to jeopardize what I have with Jake.”
Jesse bit her bottom lip, clearly unconvinced. “So what are you going to do?”
Restless again, Nat jumped to her feet and poured herself another cup of coffee she didn’t want, just for something to do. “I’m going to have to talk to Hoyt. I’m going to be honest with him and tell him that I don’t want to hurt Jake. He’ll go away, and that’ll be the end of it.”
She could only hope.
Jesse’s brows went up. “I’ve never met this man, but Hoyt doesn’t sound like the kind of man to walk away. If he’s loved you all these years the way you love him, I think it’s obvious that it’s not just going to go away—and neither will he.”
Nat kept her back to her sister, not wanting Jesse to see the tears stinging her eyes. “Why not? He did it before.”
Hoyt wasn’t the type to settle down. He lived for excitement, and the kind of adventure that he would never be able to find in Desire.
Jolting at the slide of Jesse’s hand on her back, Nat carefully schooled her features. “It’ll be fine. I’ll talk to him and take care of it. Then, everything’ll be back to normal.” She gulped apple juice to ease her dry throat.
Frowning, Jesse refilled her glass, eyeing her skeptically. “Nat, you might fool him with that, but you’re not fooling me. If you’ve loved this man all these years, especially after not seeing him for months, even years at a time, it’s not going to go away just because you want it to.”
Nat gritted her teeth. “It doesn’t matter. I won’t hurt Jake.”
Gripping her arm, Jesse turned Nat to face her, smiling faintly. “Do you really think you’re going to be able to fool Jake into believing that you don’t want Hoyt around? He’s already proved that he knows you too well. You’re never going to be able to lie to him.”
Grimacing, Nat took another sip of juice. “I have to. Jake’s always done everything he can to make me happy. I’m not going to be selfish about this. Jake deserves to know that I’d do anything for him. I don’t need Hoyt. I need Jake.”
Shaking her head, Jesse clicked her tongue. “I might not know Hoyt, but I know Jake well enough to know that he’s never going to let you get away with it. You all have to know if this can work. None of you will be happy until you know for sure.”
Grinning, Jesse hugged her. “I’ve always wondered what it would be like to see you rattled. Having two men in your life ought to do it.”
Leaning back, she smiled, her eyes shimmering with tears. “Oh, Nat. I just want you to be happy.”
“I will be, honey.” Swallowing the lump in her throat, Nat turned away. “I just need to face Hoyt again. Once he leaves, everything will work out just fine.”
She’d never see him again.
Somehow, she had to learn to live with that.
Chapter Three
Hoyt hadn’t been so nervous since his first day of basic training.
He could fight his way out of any situation, disarm a man with his bare hands, had the patience to remain motionless for hours as he waited for an enemy to show himself, and lead a mission into the most hostile situation with cold, calculated precision.
His men claimed he had nerves of steel and ice in his veins.
His hands shook, though, and he’d broken out in a cold sweat at the thought of facing Natalie again.
Looking at Jake, he made a conscious effort to sit still, but knew he didn’t fool Jake for a minute. “So what did Natalie say when you told her that I wanted to be a part of her life again?”
Jake’s hard expression softened slightly, his eyes lit with amusement as he ran his thumb up and down the neck of his beer bottle. “She told me to tell you that she’s not interested. She doesn’t want to do anything to hurt me.”
Hoyt hadn’t expected anything less.
Natalie had always been fiercely protective of the ones she loved—and would sacrifice her own happiness for theirs.
He hoped like hell he could convince her to give him a chance.
His entire future was at stake.
Careful to keep his expression cool despite the war raging inside him, Hoyt raised a brow. “And you? Have you changed your mind?”
He’d made it clear to Jake that he had no intention of trying to come between him and Natalie, but he couldn’t go on with his life without knowing if it was possible to have his son, his best friend, and the only woman he’d ever loved in it.
Jake’s lips twitched. “That wouldn’t do any of us any good, now would it? I can’t go through life wondering about her any more than you can. I’ve always known that she would have married you if you hadn’t gone in the Navy.” Jake shrugged, the tension surrounding him tangible. “She loves you. I don’t want her staying with me if she’d rather be with you. She knows that I’m fully aware that a ménage relationship can work, and I’m not going to be the one to blame if it doesn’t.”
Amused despite the tension, Hoyt couldn’t hold back a smile, shaking his head. “And you think I’m going to be the one to do something to mess it up?”
Jake’s confident smile, full of challenge, reminded Hoyt of the competitive friendship they’d shared long ago, but this time, neither one of them could afford to lose. “I know it’s not going to be me. I’m not going to lose Nat by making a stupid mistake.”
Hoyt raised a brow, knowing that they’d have to stick together to make this work. “And you think I will?”
Jake’s lips curved. “I’m sure both of us are going to end up fucking this up. We’re going to have to trust each other more than we ever have before. We’re going to need each other’s help to handle her and guide her through this. We can’t go against each other, or let jealousy get in the way.” His eyes hardened, the warning in them unmistakable. “Her happiness is my priority, and I’ll do my be
st to make sure this works out for the three of us, but if you try to undermine me, I’ll hang you out to dry.”
Hoyt allowed a smile. “Understood. I know how hard this is for you. I’ll never be able to repay you for letting me have this chance.” Shaking his head, he sucked in a breath and blew it out in an effort to rid himself of some of his anxiety. “I love her. I’ve never stopped loving her. God knows I’ve tried.”
Too restless to sit still any longer, Hoyt got to his feet and moved to the kitchen window, looking out into the backyard. Fisting his hands on the counter on either side of the sink, he bent his head, his stomach churning. “I have to know, Jake. I’d never do anything to come between the two of you, but I’ve learned a lot about ménage relationships on my visits here. It’s been in the back of my mind for years, ever since the first time I came to visit right after you moved here. I’ll never be able to live with myself if I don’t take the chance that we can all be a family. I have a lot to make up for. To you. To her. To our son.”
Jake slammed his bottle on the table, startling Hoyt into whirling to face him. “You don’t owe me a damned thing!” With a sigh, Jake picked up his bottle again. “I got what I wanted. I’ve been happier than I ever thought I could be. Nat and I have built something wonderful together, and I got a chance to be a father. I owe you for trusting me to take care of both of them.”
Hoyt knew that Jake’s sterility had always been a sore subject for him. Straightening, he smiled and shook his head. “I owe you more than I could ever repay. Because of you, I know my son and I’ve always had contact with Natalie. I’ve always known that she and Joe were well taken care of. That’s been a hell of a relief to me over the years. I’d never do anything to betray you. I’ve been up front about everything, and I have no intention of changing. I want everything out in the open.”
He’d never been comfortable talking about his feelings, but knew that Jake deserved the truth. “I love her so damned much. I can’t even think of starting a life anywhere else. Everyone I care about is here.”
Jake took another sip of his beer. “You and I used to be really close, but I have to tell you, I’d throw you out on your ass if she didn’t love you.”
Hoyt’s heart stopped, and then began to pound furiously, a smile spreading over his face, one he didn’t even bother to hide. “She does. Thank God.”
Dizzy with relief, he moved back to the table and dropped back into his seat across from Jake, wondering what his men would think if they saw him nearly taken to his knees at the knowledge that Natalie loved him. “Thanks for telling me. I’m sure that wasn’t easy for you.”
Jake shrugged again, his lips twitching as he continued to run his thumb up and down the neck of his beer bottle. “When Nat loves, she loves hard.” A small smile played at his lips. “She still won’t risk what we have, though. She’s determined to get rid of you.”
Hoyt took another sip of his beer to ease his dry throat, eyeing Jake. “The three of you are my family—the only family I have. I wouldn’t do anything to hurt any of you.”
He’d die—or kill—to protect any one of them.
To his relief, Jake chuckled. “If I thought any differently, you wouldn’t be here. Like I already told you, I can’t say that I never expected this. Nat doesn’t love lightly, and I could see that she wasn’t getting over you, but you’ve got an uphill battle ahead of you.”
Hoyt shrugged. “I’ve never been afraid of battle, especially since I have no intention of losing this one. I’m not giving up, and if it takes the rest of my life, I’ll have her again.”
Jake smile wasn’t quite steady. “I know.”
Hoyt smiled back, grateful that some of the tension between them eased. “Which is why you moved here when Joe was a baby? I have to admit that when I first came to visit and checked out the town, I was surprised at the things I discovered. I never brought it up to you, but I had the feeling that you moved here because you knew that one day I’d want to be a part of their lives.”
He met Jake’s steady stare. “Thank you for that. It gave me a lot of hope and kept me going for years. I have to salute you for finding such a town. I wouldn’t want Natalie to be the subject of ridicule because of me. I couldn’t live with that.”
Jake’s eyes narrowed. “She’ll likely be the topic of conversation now. Everyone in town knows her, and we all watch out for the women here.”
“That’s one of the things I like about this town.” Leaning forward, he met Jake’s gaze squarely. “I’ve also learned how the men stick together to keep them safe. That was a great relief to me.”
“You don’t think I can keep her safe?”
“I never said that.”
Something flickered in Jake’s eyes that had Hoyt stiffening again. “Problem? This isn’t going to work if you and I aren’t on the same page.”
Scrubbing a hand over his face, Jake surprised Hoyt by cursing and jumping to his feet. “I know that, damn it!” Jake blew out a breath, his struggle to get himself back under control obvious. Finally, he turned. “I have to know if she still wants me with you in the picture, but I have to tell you, I’m not handling this as well as I’d hoped to. The thought of losing Nat scares the hell out of me.”
Hoyt shook his head. “That won’t happen. Neither one of us will let that happen. I know damned well that Nat loves you. She’d never forgive me if I came between you.”
Jake shrugged and stared out the window. “And she loves you. What if she decides she loves you more, and she and I are no longer as close as we are now? You know the lifestyle we lead. She’s been my submissive for years. Do you know how long it took me to establish the kind of trust that requires?”
Hoyt jumped up, slamming his hand on the table in frustration. “I’m not trying to take anything from you, and I’m sure as hell not here to cause trouble. Damn it, give me some fucking credit.”
Fury and nausea at all he’d missed rose up inside him. “Do you think it was easy for me to walk away from the woman I love and my unborn child?”
Dropping back into his seat again, he fisted his hands on the table and struggled for control. “I wanted her with me. I begged her to marry me and come with me, but I understood how scared she was. I handled her badly. I handled the whole situation badly.”
Memories of that time tied his stomach up in knots. “She was so young then—so scared to leave everything she knew, especially since she’d just learned she was pregnant. I knew she was scared to leave her sister, especially with her father drunk more often than not.”
He looked down at his hands, knowing that only sheer will kept them from shaking. “I pleaded with her, but she thought I only wanted to marry her because she was pregnant. She wasn’t about to leave Jesse and hook herself to me when she didn’t believe I really wanted a future with her.”
The knots in his stomach tightened. “No matter what I said, I couldn’t convince her.” Shrugging, he picked up his beer. “It’s true that I hadn’t planned to marry her that soon. I wanted to get some money together first so that I could support her. That’s why I joined the Navy to begin with. I could never have given her the life she deserved on what I made working in my father’s garage. It was my only chance to get out and make something of myself. I wanted to be good enough for her.”
Hoyt stilled, tensing as the back of his neck tingled.
Natalie.
He felt her presence just a second or two before the intoxicating scent of cinnamon and vanilla wafted to him.
Before he heard her—before he saw her—he was already hard.
“So why didn’t you come home when your time was up? Why the hell did you reenlist?” The challenge in her sarcastic tone made him even harder.
Bracing himself, he rose to his feet and turned, facing the woman he couldn’t stop loving.
The woman he couldn’t stop aching for.
Everything inside him wanted to run to her, take her in his arms and lose himself in the feel of her.
Inste
ad, he forced himself to remain where he was, and drank in the sight of her.
She wore her shiny, thick brown hair shorter than the last time he saw her, but it still hung several inches past her shoulders. She used to wear it much longer, so long that used to brush the upper curve of her ass and draw his attention there, sparking all sorts of erotic fantasies.
Those fantasies had grown and matured over the years, and he’d spent many hours imagining fulfilling each and every one of them.
Her eyes, several shades darker than her hair, had always looked too big for her face.
Narrowed now, they glittered with emotion—and tears.
There was nothing like a strong woman with tears in her eyes to bring a man to his knees.
Forcing himself to meet her gaze squarely, he carefully hid how much he wanted to run to her and wipe away her tears—to hold her and promise her that everything would be all right.
Knowing that words would be useless until he could back it up with action, and that any sign of weakness would only jeopardize his plans for her, he lifted a brow and gave her his most arrogant look. Bracing his hands on his hips, he let his gaze rake over her, inviting her anger, knowing that they wouldn’t be able to move forward until they’d cleared the air.
Her curves, more womanly than they’d been when he’d held her last, made his palms itch with the need to explore them.
Knowing that her lips, now thinned in anger, would be incredibly soft against his, he let his gaze linger on them, hiding a smile when she frowned and shifted restlessly.
He couldn’t wait to taste them again, and taste the passion that would have matured into something even more magnificent over the years.
Just the thought of it inflamed him.
She got to him as no woman ever had, and he wanted her with a fierceness that didn’t allow for failure.
The years since he’d held her last hadn’t diminished his need for her.
