“We’ll go on a ways,” he told her. “I smell water. If we find a stream or a river, I will put you in it to cool your body. A fever is dangerous. I have seen men go mad from it.”
Caleb could not eat. He was too worried about Sarah. He managed to get some tea down her throat, and Sarah wondered how she swallowed it at all. There seemed to be hardly enough room in her throat for air to go through. In her mind she was screaming, screaming with terror and disappointment.
Caleb packed their gear, then helped her rise, but she couldn’t get all the way to her feet. He held on to her as she lay back down. “Oh, Caleb,” she whispered. “What’s wrong with me?”
“I do not know. That is what frightens me. I will build a travois and take you back.”
“No,” she groaned. “We can’t go back!”
“We have no choice. I could not live with myself if you … if something happened to you out here. This is all my fault.”
“No. We had to try, Caleb. It isn’t your fault.” Her chest heaved in a sob. “What will we do?”
He knelt down beside her. “Try not to get upset.” He leaned down and kissed her fevered forehead, agonizing over what to do. She needed a doctor’s help. Her breathing was dangerously labored and she felt like fire. How would he ever forgive himself if she died out here, running off with a man who could offer her nothing? He could not gamble with her life by taking the chance on going forward and hoping she would get better.
“Don’t go back, Caleb. Please don’t go back,” she wept. “Uncle Terrence will do something terrible. I know it! I’d rather die out here than go back.”
Caleb struggled against his own tears. “I will never let that happen, Sarah.” He reached behind his neck and removed his blue quill necklace. Leaning down, he laid it across her breasts. “We must take our chances, Sarah. I will wait one day. If you are not better, we will go back. I do not know what will happen, but no matter what, I give you this necklace as a love gift, a vow of my total devotion. I gave this gift only once, to Walking Grass. Now I give it to you. May it protect you from death and all harm. Keep it forever, Sarah, no matter what happens to me.”
She held his eyes, moving her hand up to grasp the necklace, understanding how important it was to him and how much he loved her to give it to her. It was all he had of his own mother.
“Caleb,” she whispered lovingly. “Tell me everything will be all right … that we’ll always be together.”
A tear slipped down his cheek. He put a hand to his heart, then laid it against her own. “Here. We will always be together here, in spirit.”
Sarah closed her eyes. She loved him so much, she thought, it couldn’t end this way.
“I will make you a travois,” he said dejectedly. “We will go to the water. It is not far. We are only three days from Saint Louis. If we hadn’t stopped at the cave…” His words choked. Was that all he would have of her? Just those few days at the cave? He rose and took two robes off the horse to use for a travois. “It is probably good that we stopped here. Otherwise we would be much farther from help. This way there is a chance to get you to a doctor.”
“No, Caleb. If we were already farther away… I would die out there.” She grasped her throat. “This is… no different.”
“Yes it is,” he snapped, taking a small hatchet from his gear. “Out there there would be no help. But here we are still close enough.” Their eyes held a moment, then he turned away to find some slender young saplings to cut for poles.
As he worked Caleb realized that one of Terrence Sax’s predictions could come true after all. Perhaps Sarah would die, just like Cora. Perhaps it was true such women should not go to the wilds. But Sarah was stronger than Cora had been, more spirited. Surely she was strong enough. What had happened could happen to anyone. It was just another cruel twist of fate that seemed to plague him. Everyone he loved seemed to be taken from him. Would little Tom be waiting there for him when he returned?
He chopped wildly at a sapling, taking out his anger and frustration on the little tree. He cut another and dragged them both back, sitting down to remove the branches. Caleb wanted nothing more than to hold Sarah, for she lay weeping from pain and fear, but he must get the travois ready. He began tying the buffalo robes to the poles, stretching the skins and tying them with rawhide until the structure was ready.
He threw down the hatchet and secured the two poles on either side of the Appaloosa. When it was secure he walked over to her, bending down to pick her up. But he could not stop his own grief and fear. He lay down beside her and pulled her into his arms. Both of them wept.
The water did not bring down her fever, and Caleb realized he had no choice. He would take her back, and if she lived he would find a way to take her again. Her life was most important, and she was only getting worse. She lapsed into fits of delirium as her fever raged and her breathing became more labored. Caleb moved swiftly, and with each day’s ride Sarah slipped farther away from him.
During a moment of cognizance she asked him to put the blue quill necklace in the lining of her carpetbag, fearing that if her father found it on her he would destroy it. Both knew the chance they were taking by going back, but they also knew the greater risk of not returning. It was amazing that a person could be so happy one day and so devastated the next. Their days in the cave had been like a dream, a sweet, wonderful dream. But reality had struck hard. The gods had not smiled on them after all, except to keep them close enough to Saint Louis to get help for Sarah. The dream had turned into a nightmare.
Caleb paid a ferryman to take them back across the Mississippi, having no idea where the raft was. The man eyed him warily, and Caleb wondered how many people in the area had been warned to be on the lookout for them. Yet it was too late to go back, and he wouldn’t if he could. Sarah was worse than ever, hardly aware most of the time of where she was or who she was with. That made everything worse. He could not even talk to her, tell her he loved her, tell her good-bye or that he would come back.
They left the ferry and headed north toward Saint Louis. Was it only days before that they had left, so happy and excited and alive with love? Caleb stopped when the city came into view. He knelt down beside Sarah.
“Sarah,” he said softly. “Ishiomiists. Ne-mehotatse.”
She said nothing. She looked still as death, and his heart tightened. “Sarah?” He closed his eyes and shuddered, taking her hand and bending his head down to kiss it. She was dying. Tom and Walking Grass he had learned to bear… but not Sarah. His body jerked in a sob.
“Sarah,” he screamed. “Speak to me. I love you, Sarah. I love you! God, forgive me. I have killed you!”
Her lips moved slightly, and she gave a little gasping noise, but that was all. Caleb stood up, sobbing openly. He stumbled to the Appaloosa and grasped the reins, heading blindly toward Saint Louis. His mind was reeling with the horror of the possibility of Sarah’s death. How would he bear such a thing? Was he bad? What was there about him that brought disaster to those he loved most?
He got to the outskirts of town, wondering if he would be shot down on sight. A few people stared at his Indian garb and the travois, but no one said anything. He stopped and asked a passerby for the nearest physician, then headed in that direction, coming to a sign that read WILLIAM NEDERER, M.D.
Caleb walked to the door and knocked, and a few moments later a balding man answered.
“Yes?”
“I am Caleb Sax. There is a girl on my travois. She is very sick.”
The doctor frowned, looking out the doorway at the travois, then looking up at Caleb. “Get her off there and bring her on in,” he said.
Caleb quickly went to get Sarah, carrying her limp body through the doorway and laying her on a padded table the doctor indicated.
The doctor quickly closed a curtain around it so that Caleb failed to notice someone hurrying out of the office. The doctor came inside. “What’s wrong with her?” he asked.
“She got wet one night. I told her
to get into dry clothes, but she refused. A few days later she got sick… a bad fever. I did not know what to do for her.”
The doctor raised Sarah’s eyelids, then felt her throat. He frowned, quickly opening her dress and putting a stethe-scope to her chest. He sighed as he pulled a sheet over her face. “She’s dead,” he said matter-of-factly.
“No!” Caleb stared at him, shaking his head, his heart filled with aching sorrow. He looked at Sarah’s covered body, then bent over and pulled the sheet off her face, unaware of anything around him. She couldn’t be dead. Only days before he had held her warm, beautiful body close to his own, made love to her, shared the pleasures of lovemaking with her. They had talked and laughed and loved. How could this happen. Why?
“Sarah,” he wept, his face against her own, his hands clinging to the sheet. “You can’t leave me. I need you!”
A moment later he felt cold steel against his neck. He choked back a sob and slowly stood up. The doctor was pointing a musket at him.
“I know who you are, Caleb Sax. This girl is Sarah, Terrence Sax’s niece. You’re in a lot of trouble, boy. She’s dead, and you’re going to hang. I’ve sent for help.”
In spite of Caleb’s sorrow he knew he had to act quickly. If it were only Sarah he would stand there and let the man shoot him, for he would have nothing left to live for. But somewhere in the wilds a little boy waited for his father to return, and as hopeless as life seemed now, he had to get to little Tom. Tom was his only life, his only hope for happiness. He would not die in this hated city and never see his son again. Sarah would want him to get away and return to his son.
In a flash he grabbed the musket and pushed upward. The gun went off and plaster fell from the ceiling. Caleb dove through the curtains and hurried out the front door, leaping off the porch railing onto the Appaloosa and getting the animal into a gallop just as several men came running toward the doctor’s office.
“Hopo! Hopo!” Caleb urged the Appaloosa to run faster. He charged around a corner, deliberately slamming the travois into a fence to try to break it loose. The carpetbag and other gear went flying, but the sapling poles were too green to break easily. He slowed long enough to take out his hatchet and chop the rawhide strips that held the poles in place. He saw the men who had been running toward the doctor’s office grab other peoples’ horses, and Caleb urged the Appaloosa on.
He charged into the thick trees, unaware that when the doctor’s musket was fired Sarah Sax had stirred at the loud noise.
Chapter
Twenty
THE Appaloosa galloped through underbrush and splashed through creeks; but the animal was tired from being driven for long hours when Caleb hurried Sarah back to Saint Louis. It was quickly winded and Caleb knew that the men following were closing in, since their horses were fresher.
He tried not to think of Sarah; the agony was too great. He thought instead of Tom, his little Tom. He had to get to his son. Tom was all he had left.
If his pursuers were Crow, he could fight them. But Crow Indians didn’t carry muskets, and he knew his one musket would be no defense against several. White men did not fight hand-to-hand. They used their guns, and he knew that even if they didn’t kill him, he would find no justice in Saint Louis, not against a man like Terrence Sax. Everyone would be ready to believe that Caleb had kidnapped and raped Sarah, then killed her, and Sarah was not alive to tell anyone otherwise.
Caleb and the Appaloosa charged down the river embankment, but the Appaloosa’s front legs buckled, sending animal and man tumbling. The horse landed on Caleb, and he felt his breath knocked out as pain seared through his right shoulder. The Appaloosa rolled off, struggling and whinnying, but it could not get to its feet. Caleb crawled away from the horse, using his left arm for support and holding his right arm tight against his chest, unable to move it at all.
He scrambled toward an old log, hoping he could hide in it, but he was too big to fit. He searched desperately for another place to hide, hearing horses crashing through the forest nearby.
“Look, his horse,” someone shouted.
“He’s down! He’s down someplace. Spread out!”
The horse whinnied in pain, and then Caleb heard a gunshot. The animal made no more sound. He curled up against a tree. Gone. Everything was gone. He bent over, pain overwhelming him, both from a broken shoulder and a broken heart.
“Over here,” someone shouted close by.
Caleb’s first instinct was to run. In his mind he thought he was up and running very fast, but in reality he was stumbling. There was another gunshot, and a new pain enveloped him in the center of his back. He fell forward, hearing voices from a great distance.
“Should I kill him?”
“No. Wait for Sax. He’ll be here in a few minutes. He stopped at the doc’s first.”
Someone kicked him. “He’s still alive.” The voice sounded like Byron Clawson’s. “Apparently my bullet is taking its time finishing him off.”
“Don’t look to me like he’ll live for long. Dirty son of a bitch. I wonder what he did to that poor girl.”
“Well, Sax wants it kept quiet, don’t want the girl’s reputation ruined.”
There was general laughter and conversation then, and every once in a while someone else would kick Caleb to see if he was still alive. Then there was the sound of more horses.
“Over here, Mr. Sax!”
Moments later Caleb was kicked several times. “Bastard! Bastard,” someone snarled. “She’s dead! My Sarah is dead because of this no-good!”
“He ain’t dead yet, Mr. Sax. You want us to finish him off?”
“No! I want him to suffer.” There was a moment of silence. “I don’t want the law in on this, understand? Any of you let this out and I’ll have your jobs. I don’t want my Sarah involved in any slander, even after death.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Any of you know how to contact some river pirates? Maybe someone on the docks who would deal in selling men to oar slave ships?”
“I might be able to make a contact,” someone answered.
“All right. Take this heathen and hide him somewhere until you do. Tell whoever you talk to that I will pay very well to have the body taken away. I don’t want it to be around here, understand? I want it done downriver. If he lives, they’re welcome to sell him for what they can get. If he dies, I want the body dumped off as far south as possible—New Orleans wouldn’t be too far.”
“He don’t look to me like he’s gonna make it.”
“All the more reason for none of you to say a thing. We’re all in this together, and we’ve taken the law into our own hands. It ends right here. Understood?”
There was a round of agreements. Caleb felt himself being lifted, and to his horror he could not seem to move or speak. Someone slung him over a horse. That was the last he remembered of the men in the forest.
Sarah stirred, only able to open her eyes. She wet her dry parched lips as she stared at a white ceiling. She swallowed, her throat aching, and tried to think where she might be. The last she knew she was with Caleb, and he had her on a travois. He had been bringing her back to Saint Louis. She opened her mouth to call for him, but only a small whimper came out. She tried again, and the noise brought a stout woman to her bedside.
“Well now, the child is finally comin’ around,” the woman said with a strong Irish accent. “Sure ’n her uncle will be happy. A whole week she’s been layin’ here lookin’ like death.”
A man came and bent over her, looking into her eyes, feeling her throat, opening her gown and putting something cold to her chest. “She just might make it after all,” he said. “I never thought such a thing could be possible. She had all the appearances of being dead when she was brought in. I couldn’t even find a heartbeat.”
“Ca… leb,” Sarah whispered.
“What’s that, child?” The woman bent closer.
“Caleb.”
The woman looked at the man. “She’s askin’ for that yo
ung man you told me not to talk about, doctor, the one you said brought her in.”
“Do me a favor and send someone for Terrence Sax, will you?”
“Sure ’n I will, doctor.”
The stout woman left, and the doctor leaned closer. “Your uncle will be here shortly, Miss Sax. You just lie still. I’ll get you some water.”
Sarah didn’t want her uncle. She wanted Caleb. She tried to tell him, but the words would not come. She closed her eyes, thinking. The woman had said she’d been there a whole week. Where was Caleb? What had happened to him?
The doctor returned with a cup, lifting her slightly and letting her drink a little water.
“There we are,” he told her. “You’re much stronger than I thought, Sarah Sax,” he continued, laying her back down and setting the cup aside. “We all thought you dead when you came here, even that Caleb Sax. But it doesn’t much matter what he thought, does it? You’ll get well eventually, and you’ll see the foolishness of your ways. It’s all over now. You’re home safe and sound, and you’ve learned a lot, I expect. It’s a hard life out there in the wilds.” He stood and left Sarah.
Minutes later she heard a familiar, hated voice. Terrence Sax stepped into the room looking at her with a mixture of anger and love, then stepped closer and leaned over her.
“Why’d you do it, Sarah? Why’d you run off on me after all I’ve done for you?”
Her eyes held all the hatred she had for him. “Heard you,” she whispered. “You’re… my father.”
The man paled, seeming to wilt as he pulled a chair close to the bed and sat down. “It’s true,” he said quietly. “But it was so long ago, Sarah, and I truly did love Cora. I’ve lived with the terrible guilt of it ever since, but something good came of it.” He looked at her again. “You. You’re the most precious thing I’ve ever had, far more precious than my most expensive material possession. I want what I know is best for you. You’re so beautiful, Sarah. You belong in a grand house with a respectable man, not in some cabin with a half-breed who doesn’t know the first thing about providing you with the comfort you deserve. He’d have you pregnant and worn out in no time. Why, you nearly died just trying to run away with him. How do you think you would have survived out there in the wilderness?”
Savage Horizons Page 28
