“Well, I do,” I said crossing my arms.
“You need to think and feel what you want, Lucy. I am not going to tell you what you should do but I will tell you this. You and Patrick, this thing, this friendship you have, is stronger than all the Brians, than all the stolen kisses and bimbos he had slept with. You just need to trust it,” she said in a calm and soothing voice. I wished I could be as calm as her about all of this. I had no idea what she had said I just nodded and filed it away for later.
“Aren’t you angry?” I asked looking at her.
“Why on earth would I be angry?” she asked surprised “Because this is Patrick we are talking about, the one that got away?” for me it was obvious.
“Oh, honey, no. Patrick was an infatuation. Now, I know that. Now, that I have Nick,” she smiled a goofy smile.
Seventeen
“I’m home,” I said as I stuck my head in the door in Patrick’s office “Hey,” He looked up and smiled “How was it?” I stepped into the office and sat on a leather couch that was next to the window that overlooked the pond “Great, it was nice to have some quality time with Stacy,” I smiled and looked out again. I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about our talk.
“Did you bring sorbet?” he asked and I nodded.
“I did. Did you have lunch?” I asked and he shook his head. “Ok. C’mon,” I said grabbing his hand and taking him to the kitchen.
“No dessert until you eat, mister,” I said with my hands on my hips and we both laughed out loud. I re-heated some leftovers for him and I even had a couple of bites from his plate. The food was even better than the night before. We talked really stupid stuff and a bit about work. After he was done I did the dishes and we decided a movie would be awesome.
“What kind of sorbet did you bring?” He asked as he came down the stairs with a couple of movie options.
“Rose and Apricot,” I said opening my eyes and he made a weird face.
“Weird,” he said.
“I know but I wanted something new and different,” I said as I gave him a spoon and I took mine. I opened the pints and dug into the rose sorbet. It was delicious; I couldn’t believe roses would taste so good. “God, this is amazing,” I said going for another spoonful. Patrick took his spoon and tasted it.
“Why on earth have we spent so many years eating crap while we had roses in our backyards all along,” he said as he ate some more sorbet.
“I know why,” I said as I tasted the apricot sorbet “because there are apricots on this earth,” “Jesus. I could live my life only on roses and apricots,” We spend a good half hour eating sorbet and making embarrassing sounds. Weird and exotic flavors were so exciting that we lost track of time by indulging in them.
“So,” Patrick said while he licked his spoon “Christmas ornaments,” I opened my eyes really wide and nodded while having some rose sorbet. “Tomorrow,” he said and I nodded again.
“You don’t have to come, Patrick. It takes a long time for me to buy everything for Christmas season,” I put my feet up in the chair.
“I’ll take whatever time you want to give,” he said. Black Caramel Apples. I just nodded and he decided that it was time for a movie. I can’t even remember what movie was it. It had something to do with robots and fights and a kid but I didn’t really pay attention. I kept thinking about everything but mostly about the Black caramel Apples that I had been feeling for the past month. Maybe, just maybe, they were more than caramel apples.
“Good Morning,” I heard next morning as I walked in the kitchen. Patrick was already there doing something in his iPad.
“Morning,” I said while preparing the coffee.
“What’s with the workout clothes?” he asked and I looked at myself. I was, indeed, wearing workout clothes. Yoga pants, running shoes, tank top, the works.
“I don’t take Christmas decorations lightly, Patrick. When I buy decorations I mean business,” I said while nodding and I heard him laughing out loud.
“You are something else, Pepper,” he said shaking his head and taking the cup of coffee I gave him.
“You have been in a great mood in the morning, Patrick,” I said while sipping my coffee.
“Yes, I have,” he nodded.
“Can I ask why?” I said while taking the binder so he could choose what to have for breakfast.
“You can but the real question is: Do you want to know the answer?” he looked at me directly in the eyes.
“What do you want?” I said pushing the binder forward in the breakfast bar.
“Leftovers again,” he said smirking and I wanted to bitch slap him. He loved making me uncomfortable. I sighed and re-heated whatever he wanted.
After eating with almost all awkwardness gone we left to our Christmas shopping day. The staff was gone for the rest of the weekend so Patrick drove again. Once in the store and in the Christmas section I couldn’t be stopped. I analyzed every single ornament and tree so I could make an informed decision.
“What are you doing?” Patrick asked me as I literally sat on the floor under a white Christmas tree doing a close inspection of its branches and the lights that it had, it was a pre-lit tree.
“I need to know that the tree has enough light to make it look warm but not so much that it could blind us all,” I was actually contemplating the possibility of counting the number of lights in a branch.
“You really take this seriously,” he said from a chair a sales lady had brought to him the moment they realized who he was.
“I told you,” I said in an absentminded way.
“Actually,” I said looking for the girl “Helen, could you light up this tree for me, please,” I said still on the floor and Helen, of course, said yes. She knew who I was with, she knew we were spending some money and she would have a good income out of this. Of course she would light up the tree, hell she would light up the entire store for me.
“Thanks, you are a doll,” I said getting up from the floor and looking the tree.
“What do you think?” I asked looking down at Patrick that was beside me in the chair and looking at the tree.
“Lucinda, it’s a tree. I really don’t know what to say,” I could see that he was trying to make a comment that meant something but couldn’t find any.
“Do you think the lights are too white?” I asked crossing my arms.
“White? I see them yellow,” he said looking at me.
“Yeah, I thought so. They are nice lights,” I nodded and he smiled. “We are taking this one,” I said to Helen
“Which size Miss…,”I saw Helen struggling to get my name right “Stuart,” I said and she nodded. “Which size Miss Stuart?” she finally asked
“The biggest one,” I heard Patrick said from the chair he was sitting. Not an ordinary office chair. They had brought a leather chair, with wide arms and placed it strategically in the middle of the Christmas decorations section so he could oversee everything without being uncomfortable.
“10 ft. then?” asked Helen.
“Patrick, that’s too big,” I said but in reality I was happy he had mentioned the size. I’d always dreamt of having a huge tree but my house didn’t have a very high roof plus the price of those things was ridiculous.
“Pepper, like I said, for me it’s just a tree but I can see your eyes lighting up just by thinking of decorating a tree that big,” he smiled. Ugh! I wanted to hug this guy and at the same time I wanted to slap him right in the face because of all the things he was making me feel.
“Ok that one then,” I said with a huge smile and Helen wrote it down on her note pad.
It took me 3 more hours to choose the ornaments for the tree and the house but I was really happy and excited to be able to decorate a house so big. There were a huge amount of choices of decoration and places and trees and bushes! I definitely would go crazy. When I finally decided I had everything I needed Patrick asked Helen to send everything I had asked that same day so I could start decorating as soon as possible.
“Wel
l that was enlightening,” said Patrick as we both walked towards the exit. I laughed out loud.
“Look there’s Santa,” I said smiling.
“Did you ever do that?” he asked as we saw kid after kid telling Santa what they wanted for Christmas.
“Once or Twice, “I shrugged “You?”
“Every year,” he said nodding and I laughed. I couldn’t picture Patrick talking to Santa despite all his childish ways. “Why don’t you go and tell him what you want this Christmas,” he asked
“Sure, Patrick. I will go and sit on his lap and tell him my wishes,” I rolled my eyes.
“Not in his lap, I wouldn’t be happy about it and that would be creepy,” he said taking my hand “But yes we could even take a picture,” he dragged me towards the place where the Elves and Santa were.
“No, Patrick, don’t,” I said trying to run away.
“Excuse me Miss, Elf,” said Patrick and I had to laugh at that “My friend here wants to talk to Santa,” He said and the lady elf looked at me raising her eyebrows. I shook my head.
“I’m afraid we don’t allow grownups in there,” she shrugged.
“Yeah, that makes sense,” said Patrick “but… you will let her go in there,” he said pretty confident.
“I’m afraid I can’t Sir,” she said again.
“Ok, who can I talk to about this,” he was determined to do this.
“Patrick!” I whined. Miss Elf directed him to her boss and there I was left with the elf and he went to talk to her boss. I smiled and she smiled back. Awkward. I saw Patrick talking to him and immediately after a couple of words they shook hands and came back walking towards us.
“Liz, they can go through right after the next kid,” Elf just nodded.
“What?” I said looking at Patrick that was smiling wide “And we are cutting through,” I said appalled as we walked towards Santa. When we got there Santa looked a bit confused.
“Hi Santa, my friend in here is a Christmas freak so we are here for her to tell you all her Christmas wishes,” Santa turned to look at me and I rolled my eyes. “But first,” Patrick continued “A picture,” He gave Miss Elf his phone “I want to remember this forever,” he said and went to stand next to Santa.
“Pepper, sit on the chair’s arms. No lap,” he said more for Santa than for me.
“Say cheese,” said Elf and I couldn’t help it. I said cheese.
“Great,” said Patrick stepping down from the little stage where Santa was “Go on. Talk to him,” He was serious about this.
“What do you want for Christmas?” Santa actually asked.
“You are seriously asking me this?” I said.
“You are already here,” he shrugged.
“I’m here because no one can say no to Patrick Maynard,” I looked at him snapping pictures and looking quite happy. I couldn’t help but smile.
“That’s Patrick Maynard?” asked Santa and I nodded. “So, is that what you want for Christmas?” he asked and I looked at him.
“What?” I asked him.
“Him,” he said nodding his head towards Patrick.
“No,” I answered quickly “I mean I don’t know,” wow. I was telling Santa my secrets. New low.
“You don’t know?” he was even using his Santa voice.
“I don’t want to screw up our relationship. I don’t want to lose my best friend. That’s what I want for Christmas,” I finally said looking at him. “Can you make it happen, Santa?” I asked him and he smiled.
“I don’t know if I can make THAT happen but I can tell you that just by looking at the two of you I wouldn’t worry about anything,” I’d heard that from Stacy. I wanted a guarantee that I wasn’t going to lose him if I went ahead and sleep with him.
“You are not helping a lot Santa, “I said.
“That’s all I can do for now,” he shrugged and I nodded.
“Thank you anyway,” I said getting up from the chair.
“Merry Christmas,” he said and I said bye.
“So, was it awesome?” asked Patrick almost jumping up and down as we walked to the car.
“It was stupid,” I said crossing my arms like a little child “But awesome,” he said again as we got in the car.
“Yeah, it was stupid and awesome,” I finally said smiling at him. I couldn’t stay mad for long.
“I knew it. Look,” he said showing me the picture on his phone.
“I love it,” I said as I looked at the picture. Santa was sitting in his humongous red chair and me and Patrick on the chair’s arms on each side of him. The three of us smiling and looking at the camera. Me and Patrick looked like we did when we were around the house, alone, genuine. Me on my workout clothes, Patrick wearing jeans and a simple sweater (a simple sweater that costs $500). We were so us in the picture.
“I love it too,” he said looking at the picture.
After that we went for lunch and then back to the house to wait for the ornaments to arrive.
“When are you decorating?” asked Patrick. We were in the library. Update Sunday wasn’t until next week but I was already preparing everything to save some time.
“Tomorrow,” I said while piling up the books.
“Want help?” I looked at him and smiled “Only if you want to,” I went back to the pile of books I had
“I want to,” he said.
“Then do help,” I replied smiling at the books in my hands. The fact that he wanted to help me in something that he had no interest at all just because it was especial for me made me happy. Too happy for my liking. Too happy for an assistant. But then again why a boss would would want to spend his Saturday evening with his assistant while she works. I’m sure he had better things to do.
“I forgot to tell you,” he said putting his legs down from the couch he was in “We have the official syllabus for the pilot course,” he smiled.
“Oh my god,” I threw the book I had in my hands to the side and ran to him sitting on the floor next to him “Can I see it?” I asked.
“Sure,” he said and sent the syllabus to the printer in the library. I got up, grabbed it and went back to the couch where I sat next to him.
“This is amazing,” I said while I read it.
“It’s, isn’t it?” he asked as he looked at the syllabus over my shoulder.
“How do you feel?” I turned to look at him. He was so close and saw him smile. That smile, the one he gives when I give in to something he wants to do like the one he had when I was with Santa or the one he had when he made the sorbet bar. It occurred to me that he was smiling like that because I’d never asked him how he felt but dismissed the thought with the idea that maybe he was smiling like that because he finally saw his project coming to life.
“Better than ever,” he smiled wider “I feel alive, I feel like I could do anything,” he kept on smiling.
“I meant about the project,” I said confused.
“The same. Right now I feel everything in my life is falling in its rightful place,” I nodded. I knew that everything included me but I wasn’t in a place where I wanted to think about it.
“Well, this surely is going great,” I finally looked back at the syllabus “I know,” he grabbed the paper from my hands and smiled again. The smile he gave when he was proud of himself like the one he had when he came up with the idea of buying the academic content from Stinson, or the one he had when he told my mother whatever he told her back in the golf club.
The ornaments came around 4 in the afternoon and Patrick asked them to put them in the living room. There were at least thirty big boxes around in Patrick’s living room (yes it was that big). Patrick asked me if opening the tree was also part of my excitement and I said no just decorating so he asked the guys from the store to do that for me. They opened the tree and placed it in one corner of the living room next to the ceiling to floor window that overlooked the property. I was happy to have the tree in there because I was sure I would be able to see it from the pool house.
“Sugar,” he said after only one ring.
“Nick,” I said throwing myself on my bed still wearing my purple robe.
“How are you?” he asked in a soothing voice.
“Confused as fucking hell,” I answered with my eyes glued to the ceiling.
“Tell me,” I could hear him moving around.
“Do you have time?” I asked still admiring the ceiling.
“I do but Stacy is here I don’t know if you mind that,” I heard him whisper “I don’t. I’ve already talked to her,” I sighed.
“I know,” he said speaking in a normal voice.
“Of course you know,” I smiled. It was cute that they had the extreme communication where everything was shared. It was so corny; it made me sick but happy.
“So tell me,” and on I went telling him everything while he made the oohs and ahs in the right places.
“So, you’ve kissed a lot,” he concluded.
“Yes but now… what?” I asked.
“The real question is: do you want to sleep with him, Sugar?” he asked in a serious tone.
“Yes,” I was reaching out for Nick because I was in desperate need of honesty, brutal honesty and in order to receive that I had to be honest as well.
“Ok, so? What are you afraid of?” he asked as if it was that obvious what I had to do next.
“Ruining the friendship we have. Losing everything I have. Losing him,” Honesty. I shocked myself when the words came out of my mouth because I always thought carefully about placing the word best friend in my erratic thoughts. Losing my best friend was something I always thought but that night I said Losing him.
Unstuck Page 24
