Once inside the room everything stooped. He looked at me with such an intensity that I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to breathe again.
“Are you sure about this?” he asked keeping a safe distance between the two of us. Again, I just nodded. “I need to hear you say it, Lucinda,” he said coming closer and my breaths increased in speed.
“I am sure. I want this, Patrick,” I said and that was the last thing neither of us said. He untied his tie and unbuttoned his shirt and I took of my dress. All of a sudden I was there, in front of him in nothing but my underwear. We both looked at each other and we knew that we were about to cross a line, a huge line but we both knew that it was begging to be crossed and we were ready to do so. I finally took one last step and removed my underwear and I stood in front of him completely naked.
Have you ever noticed the amount of trust you need to have on someone to get completely naked in front of them? To get naked in front of a stranger that will do for one night and you won’t see ever again it’s quite easy but in front of someone you know? In front of your best friend? That requires caring, respect but above all trust. You are completely vulnerable in their eyes, you are there just as you are and you have to know that they are ok with that.
In that moment I realized that I was ok with what Patrick was and I was sure he was ok with who I was. The most intimate moments of my life happened in that hotel room during the following hours. I knew the moment it all began that I was lost; lost to his kisses, to his touch, to his attention. I was so far gone because I had finally found someone I matched perfectly with, I had found someone that deserved every single particle of my trust. I had found someone that made me feel important and I didn’t want to let it go. I had to hold on to that for as long he would let me.
Twenty
I woke up to a brand new day, a brand new year and I didn’t know, but I was almost sure, to a brand new life because having sex with your boss can’t result on anything but changes. Sex changes everything and I knew that and was ready to accept and embrace the consequences because I had done whatever I felt was right and it had been amazing.
I opened my eyes and found myself exactly where I had fallen asleep in the same bed as Patrick and naked. I turned and saw him sleeping face down. Oh My God. What had I done? I had been so convinced that I was ready for the consequences of my actions a second before but one look at him made me change my mind. I wasn’t ready.
“Stop staring, Lucinda,” he mumbled still with his eyes closed.
“I wasn’t,” I said staring at the ceiling.
“Ok, then,” he said turning around and staring at the ceiling too “stop freaking out,” he chuckled and I had to smile because I was freaking out.
“Breakfast?” he asked finally looking at me.
“No,” I shook my head and turned to rest my head on my hand. “We need to talk,” “Oh the dreaded 4 words,” he said sitting up with his back against the bed board.
“Yes,” I said. I didn’t feel uncomfortable being here with him in such a compromising situation. Both of us naked. But then again, why should I be uncomfortable if I’d let him do all kind of things to my body in just one night. Oh God!
“You are blushing,” he said raising his eyebrows and then laughed.
“I’m serious, Patrick, we should talk,” I finally sat up trying to cover myself just to show a bit of modesty.
“I’m serious too, you were blushing,” I sighed “What do you want to talk about?” he said after a small pause.
“Last night? The future?” I asked looking ahead.
“Well, I’ll go first,” he said like we were taking turns. “I want last night to repeat over and over and over again for as long as I can make it happen. It was the best night of my life and I feel liberated that I can finally tell you that I like you, that that fucking little dress you wore last night made me salivate like a dog. I’m happy that you are naked in my bed and you are not trying to run away,”
“Ok, Stop,” I interrupted him “I get it,” Jesus Christ, he was getting me all worked up with everything he was saying and I really wanted to make my point before he got in my head and made me forget my very important points.
“Ok. First I want to say that last night was amazing for me too,” I said with a nod “Yeah well, you were in serious need of getting laid too,” said Patrick and I laughed “Yeah that too,” I smacked him in the arm “let me go on,” I saw him nod, “and about repeating the experience… I have a few questions… How would that work into our working relationship? I thought this would be a one time thing but….” I stopped and shrugged because I didn’t want to finish what I was really thinking. I couldn’t stop; I was hooked on him and needed to have more of whatever it was that he had given me the night before.
“One time thing? Really, Lucinda? Do you really think this thing we have, this thing that we have been avoiding for months could be tamed with a one night stand? If you think so then you aren’t feeling the way that I do,” He finally turned around so he was facing me completely. On the inside I prayed to God that the sheet would cover everything because I didn’t want to be distracted during our talk.
“Then, tell me Patrick, how are you going to be my boss during the day and my fuck buddy at night?” I asked. He looked a bit hurt by what I said; maybe the term wasn’t one that made him feel comfortable.
“I don’t want to be your fuck buddy, Lucinda,” he said getting closer but I stopped him putting my hand in his chest.
“Stop. We seriously need to talk,”
“I am serious, Pepper,” Oh My God! I was Pepper indeed; I had slept with Tony Stark. “I don’t want to be your fuck buddy.”
“What do you want?” I asked confused.
“I don’t know, anything but fuck buddies. I’ve had fuck buddies; you’ve gotten rid of my fuck buddies. You are nothing like that,” I nodded. That was true, I wasn’t.
“Then? What are we doing about this?” I asked confused as hell.
“What do you want to do about it?” I hated him. Officially.
“Have sex again?” I asked because really that’s what I wanted. I saw him grin and knew he was moving closer to kiss me “But… I’m afraid that once we get home this will become a problem. That’s why I think we should agree on what this is first,” He groaned and sat back.
“You are killing me,” he said putting his head on the pillow and closing his eyes “but you are right, though.”
“I know I am,” I said looking down at him.
“Ok so, we have sex and …,” He looked up at me.
“What about this,” I said sitting down on my heels.
“Say whatever you want, Lucinda, but please cover yourself,” Said Patrick and I grabbed whatever I had near to cover myself.
“So, we have sex whenever we both feel like it,” he nodded “but no one can know about this,” he didn’t nod back.
“Why?” he asked.
“Just because, Patrick. Do you want the world to know that you are fucking me but we aren’t in a relationship? We have enough gossip flying around,”
“I don’t care, but if that’s what you want us to be, then I take it,” he said smiling. It wasn’t a real smile he wanted more but… I couldn’t give him more.
“Ok then…What happens when you find someone you want to be with? Even if it’s for just one night,” I was trying to cover every possible thing that could happen.
“Why would I want that?” he looked offended. Sorry! “Weren’t you the dude that had one different girl every night?” I asked.
“Yeah, that was before…,” he closed his eyes.
“Before what?” I asked confused.
“Just before, Pepper,” he said and I just nodded. “What if you find someone?” he asked looking at me. I shook my head.
“Not gonna happen,” I said laying back in the bed. I thought I saw him smile from the corner of my eye.
“Ok, then, those are our rules,” he said really excited.
“Not
at work,” I said really quickly.
“What?” he asked looking at me.
“We’ll never have sex at work,” I turned my head to look at him.
“Damn,” he said rolling over me, “I was really looking forward to have some dirty sex on that desk of mine.” I laughed and shook my head. He lowered his head to kiss me but I put a finger in his mouth.
“One last thing,” he groaned, “Could you lose the ‘Pepper’?” I grinned.
“Nice try, Pepper. Never,” he finally said and kissed me. There we went again. What had I gotten myself into? A relationship of the sexual nature with my boss was something that couldn’t end well. Could it? I didn’t care; I was going to enjoy what I had right now.
Things were pretty weird for the next weeks. Between us it was like some kind of fire was unleashed and we couldn’t keep our hands off from each other. The only moments where we were completely focused on something that wasn’t us was when we were working. We had managed to obey that rule and we weren’t doing anything at work but once we were home we forgot about everything. Things got weird with people at the office and with Patrick’s family because the day after the party a picture of us kissing like a couple of horny teenagers on the dance floor came out. Patrick didn’t care about saying something to the press and I had to go saying that it was the midnight kiss, nothing serious. It was true, it was a midnight kiss.
Midnight munchies still existed but they were usually after having sex and usually in his bed since we didn’t have the tree anymore. The fridge in his room was stocked with all kinds of things that we both liked and we only went to the kitchen if the munchies required something that wasn’t available in his room. If that was the case we had the munchies on the kitchen floor and then we went separate ways to our beds. We established that rule the very first night in the house. It got too awkward the moment we were done and ready to sleep so we said that we weren’t spending the night over well, I said it, he agreed.
The MBU pilot course was launched among May, Inc. employees and it seemed to be going great. We were approaching the first assessment of the project according to the users and it was exciting but it had us working most nights. Regina had me working on the party most days as soon as we got home from work so by the time I was free we had to work on MBU or we would have sex. I swear it was insane. One afternoon after Regina left I went to my room to change when I heard the front door open and then loud footsteps on the stairs, next thing I knew I was being tackled and I had Patrick on top of me. He was really needy. I should’ve been be very, very tired but I think that all the sex I was having gave me enough energy to go through my long days without getting tired.
Life was weird, for lack of a better word, but it was perfect too because I had everything I wanted and it was working despite what Stacy had told me over and over again. Eventually you’ll need to define the relationship, Lucy. I ignored her every time. Why? Why did I need to put a label, name or acknowledge the kind of relationship that Patrick and me had? He was fine with it, I was fine with it, and we would go on the way it was working for us.
“You have a meeting at 10 with Cooper,” I said to Patrick. We were in one of those moments where people on the outside would think that we were either weird or in a real relationship. We were in his bed after having mind blowing sex. I was on my boy shorts and tank top, sitting on the bed with my back against the board and going through his schedule on the iPad.
“Ok, you are coming,” he said and I nodded making some notes on the tablet. He was sitting on the bed in the same position I was but going through the financial channels. “Do you think we should take the deal with Cooper?” he asked turning to look at me. I put down the iPad and thought for a bit.
“He’s offering some interesting stuff,” I said and he nodded “We do need to grow the publishing branch. I mean that was the plan before MBU,” he nodded again “I think you should bargain a bit,” I finally looked at him and he smiled and then kissed me in the lips.
“Thank you,” he said going back to the T.V.
“I have to go now,” I said climbing down from the bed “Stay,” he said still staring at the T.V.
“We have a rule, Patrick,” I said putting on my jeans and looking for my sweater.
“I know but I hate how I feel when I let you walk out on me and walk alone to the pool house,” he shook his head “I should be the one leaving,” he shrugged. “Besides it’s too cold.”
“You can walk me back if that makes you feel any better,” I said while putting my hair up in a pony tail.
“Would you let me?” he asked.
“Of course,” I said and he jumped from the bed and put on his sweatpants a winter jacket and gave another so I wouldn’t freeze to death.
“This is stupid, you know,” he said as we both walked out to the pool house.
“Is that so?” I asked.
“Yes, we could be in bed right now instead of freezing our asses out here,” He seemed annoyed “I know, but this works for us,” I said with my hands inside the jacket.
“Speak for yourself,” he said as we reached the pool house’s door.
“Good night, Patrick,” I said smiling.
“Good night, Pepper,” he said kissing me and then he waited for me to be inside to leave. I went directly to my room and changed into my pjs. After a little while I saw the light of his office on. I couldn’t help it I sat on my bed with my back against the wall and saw him making a phone call. He was on the leather couch in the office and was drinking water. He nodded a lot and gestured a lot with his hands. I smiled, he couldn’t sleep either.
“You really need to go,” I said to him on Saturday morning. He’d bursted into the pool house in some ungodly hour of the morning because he wanted morning sex and we could never had it because we never slept over.
“Go, shower. I’ll wait for you in here,” he said from my bed as I ran around the house getting everything I needed.
“I don’t want Tracy and Regina seeing you in here,” I glared at him and he laughed out loud.
“They won’t. I’m not ready to leave yet,” he said.
“Fine,” I said throwing at him his pants. I showered quickly because I barely had time for anything and went out. There he was looking delicious in my bed, watching T.V; he definitely belonged there.
“You are still here,” I said wrapping the robe tight.
“I am,” he grinned with his eyes glued to the T.V.
“Can’t believe you,” I shook my head.
“Believe me, baby,” I sighed and sat in front of the vanity to apply my makeup.
“You don’t need all that shit, you know?” he said as he watched me while I applied eye liner.
“Maybe I don’t, but I definitely look better,” I shrugged.
“Depends,” he said.
“On what?” I frowned.
“The moment, I guess,”
“The moment,” I turned around to look at him.
“Yes the moment. Early in the morning, just out of the shower, I like you with no makeup on. Dressed for work the makeup makes you look hot,” I laughed and shook my head.
“You notice all that?” I asked going back to the makeup “When it comes to you I notice everything, Lucinda,” THERE. There were a couple of this remarks every time we were together that made me feel like Patrick thought of our arrangement as more than it was.
“At what time will you be back today?” he asked
“I don’t know, sometime after lunch, we are doing the fitting of the dress. That’s a big deal,” I said getting into my jeans and then reaching for a polka dot sweater.
“I can only imagine,” he said rolling his eyes.
“After that I will be home,” I said getting into black riding boots. “Now, for real, you got to go,” I said throwing his t-shirt and gray hoodie at him. Reluctantly, he got out of bed and began dressing while I blow dried my hair.
“Ready then,” I said and we both went down the stairs. He hadn’t bothered
to run a brush or comb through his hair but still looked amazing.
“Come back soon,” he said grabbing my waist
“I will,” I said trying to do something with his hair. It was a lost cause.
“Ok,” he kissed me and then opened the door. Much to my surprise, Tracy and Regina were coming towards the door. Patrick stopped, turned to look at me and grinned. “Morning ladies,” he said as he left the house and Regina was smiling at me; Tracy looked embarrassed and was looking everywhere but at me.
“He came to go over some spreadsheets,” I said going for the “Regina’s party,” binder “At 9 in the morning?” asked Regina closing the door and then sitting in one of the red couches. I was sure my face was the same shade as the couch’s fabric.
“Yeah, he is having a work day and needed the info,” I said trying to open the damn binder on the page chandeliers.
“Ok,” said Regina still smiling. Ugh! I was going to kill Patrick as soon as I was alone with him again. The last thing I wanted was his family knowing that I was sleeping with him. So unprofessional, so irresponsible (we were responsible, by the way, first using condoms and then getting checked so we could get rid of the damn things) so stupid of me. I sighed as I heard Tracy going on and on about the especial purple lights in the chandeliers while I worried myself silly about what Regina would tell her mother and her brothers! I broke into a cold sweat. I was going to kill Patrick. After having crazy sex, of course.
The day was long; Tracy, Regina and me went to check out the layout of some dessert tables that Regina was interested (they weren’t purple enough), we went to check on the cocktails that were going to be served at the party and after that we went to the dress fitting. The dress was amazing and Regina filled it perfectly but there were some minor details that needed to be taken care of. After all that Tracy said goodbye because she had to see another client (poor girl) and I was expecting Regina would do the same.
Unstuck Page 29
