Chapter Eight
SCOTT HAD BEEN holding me closely, an intimate feeling I hadn’t enjoyed in a while. For quite some time, we just lay there, listening to the music, letting our breathing slow. Finally, though, he said, “You damn near killed me.”
I felt my brows knit and I moved my head so I could see his face. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
He grinned. “Fuck. That has to be some of the best I’ve ever had.”
I laughed, resting my hand on that perfect chest. “I bet you say that to all the girls.”
His smile waned. Oh, shit. I’d misstepped. Maybe Scott and I could play sarcastic joking buddies in the kitchen, but apparently in the bedroom it was off limits. “All what girls?”
Could I save the moment? I touched his cheek. “Never mind. Just a bad joke.” He grew quiet again, the pain in his eyes slowly fading. I moved close to him again, my leg resting on his, my breasts pressed into his chest. I hoped the moment had passed, but I didn’t know for sure. Then, though, I felt his hand moving up and down my forearm, assuring me that he was okay. And then I felt like I could stay here forever. I sighed and breathed. “I really needed that.” I moved up and kissed his neck. When I looked at him, his eyes were closed, but I was pretty sure he was still awake. I whispered in his ear. “You are the best I’ve ever had by far, and that’s saying something.”
I looked at him again. His eyes were closed but he’d started smiling. I moved my leg so it was no longer draped over his leg but across his groin area, my pussy mashing into his hip. He’d taken the condom off earlier before pulling me into his arms, and his cock was resting, but I wondered if I could perk him back up. I was ready for round three, just from thinking about it. We still had plenty of music to fuck to, and I couldn’t get enough. I kissed Scott’s ear and his neck and, yeah, I felt the stirrings of another hard on against my inner thigh. He grabbed my head and planted another passionate kiss on my lips. “You liar.” He grinned, then kissed me again, and in seconds he was rock hard again.
“Mmm, baby,” I said. “Where you keeping those condoms?”
“The wallet there,” he waved his hand toward the nightstand. Good—he wasn’t objecting. He turned on his side to face me and kissed me again—a sweet but firm kiss—and I was all for it, but I wanted to make sure he really had it in him. So I traced my finger down his chest, his stomach, down to his lovely cock, already straining against my fingers. I brushed my fingernails against its length, just to tease him, and then brought my hand back out from under the covers. I broke away from his kiss and stuck my thumb in my mouth. I waited until he opened his eyes to see what I was doing. When he did, he smiled but said nothing. I withdrew my thumb and moved my face back to his, licking his bottom lip with my tongue while I shoved my hand back under the covers. This time I gripped his cock and swirled my wet thumb around the crown, caressing it until his jaw slackened. Then I shoved against his shoulders, urging him to lie back against the bed. I straddled him and opened his wallet. Next to a wad of cash were two more condoms. Two more? I suspected neither of us could go one more time after this one, but it never hurt to be prepared.
I hadn’t rolled many condoms before, but I wanted to try. I grabbed the tip in between my thumb and index finger and held it up to his cock, then rolled it down with my other hand. He wasn’t wincing in pain, so I must have done it right. I leaned over and brushed his chest with my lips. Then I kissed his lips again and I felt his hands graze my breasts. I sat up and slid him inside, groaning as I took in his entire length. “Shit,” I said, unable to keep my mouth shut. He felt incredible…he felt right. And my ego let me believe that maybe I was one of the best he’d ever had. If that was the case, I wanted to make sure this one topped our last one. That was my ego. I grabbed his headboard and began rocking, slowly at first, building, watching him come closer with each gyration. Every time I rose up, I would spin my hips as I glided back down, consuming him. I felt his hands on my hips, but then they slid up my back, and I could feel his fingertips pressing into my flesh. I started thinking that these were the hands of that drummer I’d seen a couple weeks ago, remembering the precision percussion he’d delivered making musical masterpieces…and those goddamn hands were on my back right now, giving in to my desires, melting into my flesh. I cried out at the thought as I maneuvered his cock into just the right place by the motion of my body. I gripped the headboard even tighter, now slamming myself down onto him without any finesse. The animal in me was blind now and just needed ultimate satisfaction. Now there was no twirling, no tilting, just driving him into me where I could feel his fullness and I could collapse against him. And while I was falling into that maddening climax, he came too, but I could only tell by his silence and the way his eyes fluttered closed. His hands stopped moving too, just continued to press into my back until I could move no more.
I rested my forehead on my arm which still held tightly onto the headboard. My breathing was slowing somewhat and I finally let out a long sigh. Yep…I knew now there was no way I could do this again tonight.
Well…maybe in an hour or so, but I had to go to work at some point.
Exhausted, I lifted myself off him and lay back down by his side. His eyes were closed, but there was no mistaking the slight smile on his face.
After a while, he pulled the condom off and then rolled over to face me. “You’re insane,” he said. He pulled me close to kiss me, and it was one of the gentlest kisses I’d ever experience, from him or anyone else. I melted in his arms. “You wore me out,” he whispered and rolled onto his back, inviting me to rest my head on his chest. I lay there, listening to his slow breathing, hearing his heart beat. And the whole time, all I could think was what a beautiful man this guy was.
I took the opportunity to finally scope out his tats. I’d seen the couple on his forearms and the ones on his upper left arm, but nothing else. I was surprised he didn’t have more. Arms like his could pull off any amount of ink, as far as I was concerned. I wanted to see his upper right arm, but it was on the other side. I’d only been able to see that it was writing. On his chest, he had multiple tattoos, but one of them, the biggest one, was an homage to the old eighties mech album art for Judas Priest. I couldn’t tell what the hell the creature was supposed to be, but if I hadn’t been familiar with Judas Priest’s music and album art, I would have sworn this belonged on one of their CDs. I resolved to check out his arm later to find out what words he’d had permanently inked into his skin.
In the meantime, I decided to just rest my head against his chest. My fingers, as though with a mind of their own, were swirling the tiny course hairs on his pec, but my thoughts concentrated on what had just happened. As I lay there, I realized I was starting to fall in love with Scott. The thought horrified me. I’d just escaped a relationship that had revolved around the idea of love. I’d stayed with Barry long after I should have left out of respect for the love I’d had for him at one time…or thought I’d had or should have had. Still…what I was feeling for Scott was an emotion I couldn’t just push aside. I tried to analyze it. Maybe I had already been falling for him but the physical attraction had stopped me from realizing it. Or maybe it was the physicality that had cemented it. Goddamn it.
What the hell was I doing? I wasn’t ready for a relationship. Not even close. I was insane. That much I knew for certain. And I couldn’t let Scott know what I was feeling. If he was smart, he’d think I was a fool…at best.
I took a deep breath. “Scott?” I whispered. He didn’t answer, confirming my suspicions that he’d fallen asleep. “Hey.” I tried one more time, just to be sure. No response. I breathed a slight sigh. Then, taking my time so I wouldn’t wiggle the bed, I squirmed out of his arms and sat up. Then I inched out of bed. But I could still feel him, smell him, taste him. Jesus Christ. I had to get out of there.
I sat up and found my clothes, some on the bed, some on the floor. I stood up and started getting dressed. At one point, Scott moaned and rolled on his side but stayed asleep. I realized that
the music had ended, but I couldn’t remember when it had. I could still hear the party going strong downstairs.
I finished tying my shoelaces and stood up. I blew a kiss and whispered, “Goodbye, sweet prince.” Well, if that wasn’t hokey… I started tiptoeing toward the door and then thought I should write a note. I could keep that lighthearted and I could make sure there wasn’t any flowery love through it, but I also hoped it would keep me from seeming like a huge slut. And, finally, I hoped it would also keep him from feeling used, considering David had said women used the poor guy all the time.
But fuck. I could see why. Jesus. The guy was an incredible lover.
I shook my head and started looking around his room for something I could write with. I walked over to his desk and opened the top drawer. I got lucky. There was a small notepad and several pens, so I ripped out a sheet of paper and wrote on it, “Scott, I had a great time. Thanks, Casey.” Did that seem too clinical? Was it not caring enough? By the same token, did I dare risk showing my true feelings? No. Fuck no. That was good enough. But then, at the last second, I decided to add something. Under my name, I wrote, “P.S. I MEANT WHAT I SAID.” That didn’t throw the whole love thing out there, but it did let him know I thought he was a fantastic fucking lover, and should he want to have another bout, I was all game.
For now, though, I needed to get the fuck out of there.
I propped the note up against the lamp, tiptoed to the door, and opened it with care and precision, careful to be quiet. It squeaked a little, but what made me more nervous was the swell of the party noise rushing up the stairs. In fact, that noise drowned out the door squeak. So I shut it as quietly, but as quickly, as I could.
I walked down the stairs, trying to act like a normal person, but I knew I had to be beaming from ear to ear. Before going anywhere else, I stopped off at the restroom to check how bad I looked. I should’ve thought to look for a bathroom upstairs, but it was too late. It didn’t matter, though. No one was in the downstairs one. According to the mirror, I was none too worse for the wear. My hair fell back into place with just a little bit of help from my fingers. A little mascara or eyeliner (I wasn’t sure which) was smudged right under my eyes so I blended it in with my fingertips. The worse problem was the stupid telling grin on my face. Even when I could force myself not to smile, my eyes twinkled and, shit, even my skin glowed. How the hell could I hide that?
Fortunately, though, the effects of the alcohol had totally worn off by this point.
I made my way to the kitchen and found David. The group of people he’d been with earlier had dwindled down now to just him and his friend. David looked up and smiled. I said, “Could you get my jacket and purse, please?”
He furrowed his brow. I could tell then that he’d been drinking quite a bit too. “Not work out?” he asked, unable to hide the concern in his voice. Oh, please. Let’s not talk about my love life in front of your love interest. Please?
“Oh, no, everything’s great.” I smiled, hoping that my newfound emotion wasn’t peeking out. The smile, of course, wasn’t forced, but I didn’t need any love signs jumping out. Fortunately, David had drunk so much (and was so intertwined in his own flirtations), he couldn’t read me very well.
He stepped out of the kitchen and I sat at the table next to his friend. A heavy breath flowed out of me as I realized I’d been able to pull it off. That was good. The second time would be easier, I knew. I wanted to let my mind drift over the events of the evening, but I knew I should be friendly instead. “Hi, I’m Casey,” I said to the man with the clean-shaved face.
“Gerald,” he said and held out his hand to me. I could smell his aftershave—clean-smelling and spicy. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”
I grinned. “Well, then, you have me at a disadvantage. I’ve hardly heard a thing about you.”
He fluttered his eyelashes. “That’s because I’m secretive. Give David a few more months to pry it all out of me.” I thought at first he was being serious, but then he starting laughing, a hearty guffaw coming from deep down.
I joined him, giggling, and then David tapped me on my shoulder. “Here’s your jacket and purse, Case.”
I stood. “Thanks. I really need to find my cigarettes.” I hugged him. “I had a great time. Thanks for inviting me.”
David raised his eyebrows. Then he said, “Leaving a little early, aren’t you?”
“Gotta be to work at eight, so I need to get some sleep. See ya there.” I looked at Gerald. “Nice to meet you.”
I flung my jacket over my shoulder, trying to appear nonchalant. It was a one-night stand, nothing more. We were good friends before; we would still be good friends after, right? But I felt myself falling—falling hard. I couldn’t let that happen. But I was afraid it was already too late.
I walked into the living room, hoping my cigarettes were still there. I desperately needed one. Jim was sitting back on the couch, nursing the bottle of now almost-empty schnapps, watching television. He spied me and said, “Long time, no see.”
“Yeah.” I spotted my cigarettes and lighter on the coffee table and lit one. “I’m outta here.”
“Hey, where’s Scott?”
“Upstairs, in his room, I think.”
Jim smiled, a knowing look on his face. Oh, fuck me. I stifled a sigh as he said, “So you…uh…”
“I didn’t say that. I said, I believe he’s in his room. But I’ve got to go home. I’ve got to work at eight tomorrow morning. See ya later.”
“Yeah, see ya later.”
As I walked toward the front door, I saw him walking up the stairs. I almost turned around to stop him, but then he’d know for sure. If I didn’t say anything, there was a chance he’d never know. But I figured I’d better get out of there…especially if Jim wound up getting Scott out of bed. It was all too fresh, the emotions all too strong, and for no good reason. I couldn’t—didn’t—dare see him right now. I couldn’t see him until I could batten down my girlish emotions.
I hustled to my car and made time home.
That night, though, I hardly slept, even though I was worn out. I couldn’t stop thinking about Scott and what had seemed like magic between us. My mind replayed our time together over and over.
So when the alarm went off at six-thirty, I was finally asleep but dog tired. What do you know, though? I felt like a new woman. I’d been sexed into feeling refreshed. I showered and dressed and made extra sure I looked great…just in case I saw Scott today. Christ. Why was I doing that to myself?
I got to work a few minutes early and got busy. I was working hard and didn’t even notice the time. Jim came in and said hi but got straight to work too. He didn’t seem to be hung over. Lucky him. I thought he’d probably had way more to drink than I had, but then again, I’d established that I’d become a lightweight of late.
After a while, he came back to the prep area where I was working. “So you didn’t, huh?”
Jim could be such a pig sometimes. I tried not to glare at him when I said, “I never said that. Besides, it’s none of your business anyway.”
“Touchy,” he said and started chopping onions for the chili. I kept hoping to see Scott, but I’d already checked the schedule, and he wasn’t due to come in that day. Sometimes he’d pop in anyway just to check the schedule or hang with friends but not today. I’d probably scared him off. And, I reminded myself, maybe that was for the best.
So I put in my eight hours and went home. I forced myself to try to paint, but I kept getting distracted by my thoughts. All I could see in my head was Scott’s face, his body, his tattoos (except for that one I forgot to check out before I left) but nothing I could paint and sell. And certainly nothing I’d feel comfortable hanging on my living room wall. If it hadn’t been so late and so hot outside, I would’ve done some of the outdoor painting. But it would have to wait.
When I went to bed that night, I fell to sleep immediately because I was so tired. But when I woke up the next morning, my outlook was better. A
little bit of time always helped my perspective. I drove in to work feeling a little apprehensive but okay. Better, in fact, than I had the day before. Now I knew for certain that it was just a one-time thing and I could let go of making it such a big deal.
I’d been working a couple of hours when I saw Scott walk through the kitchen out of the corner of my eye. Jesus. My heart rate went through the roof. And I glanced at him as he walked past and caught his back. Not even a hello. Thank God I’d played it cool and hadn’t acted like an ass, all googly-eyed and in love. I was so glad I’d been cool and calm.
And it was nice to know Scott’s true colors. You know, I was a big girl. I could handle rejection. I could handle being just a one-night stand. But he didn’t have to be so cold and callous about it.
Or…oh, shit…what if he’d been offended by my love-‘em-and-leave-‘em ploy? But my note was sweet, wasn’t it? Well, not exactly, I guess. Still…he could have called or something. Besides, I wasn’t getting the you-hurt-my-feelings vibe. I was getting another vibe entirely.
I told Ed, “I’m taking my break,” and pretended not to notice Scott back. I could play his stupid game too. I walked out back for my break. I sat on a chair and propped my feet up on another chair. I was lucky enough to be alone with my thoughts. I wouldn’t have been good company now.
I closed my eyes, still smoking my cigarette, resting my head back, enjoying the sun. I heard the back door slam and peeked out the slit of an eye. It was Scott. What the fuck? So not only did he have to give me the cold shoulder, he had to make an even bigger show of it? Yep…he walked right on past to the storeroom. Well, today was going to be lots of fun.
After a few seconds, I heard Scott call my name. I was shocked. “What?” I yelled back, not budging, trying to stay cool.
“Where are the Styrofoam to-go boxes?”
Seriously? So we were back to business as usual. I sighed and then shouted back. “Along the right wall, second shelf, near the back.”
Then Kiss Me Page 10
