by Sam Hall
“But I’m not sure if I’m good either. That’s what I want to find out. I’ve been dropped into my wildest wettest sexual fantasy. If I asked, every single one of you would cancel the show, take me down to the orgy bed and fuck me until I couldn’t come anymore, right?”
I was met by a chorus of groans, bodies shifting, hands going to groins to readjust what lurked there.
“That’s what you want the most, what all of this is about?” I said.
“Not all of it,” Billy said. “But it’s when we’re the strongest.”
“Don’t,” Lucas said.
“We’re just as trapped as you, butterfly,” he continued, ignoring his band mate. “But I’ll tell you this for free. Everyone is. By the circumstances they were born into, by their body, strengths, weaknesses, social and cultural forces. But ours?” His hand tightened harder around Jake’s wrist, which had the man moaning openly. He ran his other hand through the redhead’s hair for a moment before dropping it. “It’s beautiful and privileged. It’s hot and sexy. It’s wild and crazy, and flexible enough to encompass pretty much everything you could possibly want, once you work that out. You want us, we want you, and we’ll let you bring who you like into our little cocoon. Don’t go crying yourself a river because we saw you, saw into you. Subconscious Kira liked this just fine.”
“So why the bullshit before the party? If we’re bound, if we’re to be…together or whatever the fuck this is, why have me shoot you getting sucked off by groupies? Not exactly courting behaviour,” I said with a frown, the memory of the girl’s pupils blowing wide in my mind.
The others glanced at each other, readying a response, but Lucas just laughed. It was long and drawn out and dark in tone. He met my eyes when I turned to stare at him, his head shaking for a moment.
“They did it because it gets you off.”
“What?”
His words stung, jerking me back in my seat.
“You came on strong to the rest of them. Show me an orgy, Jake. Show me your pain, Liam. You’re a voyeur, Kira. You’re damn lucky you have that camera, because you’d be finding yourself in some trouble without it. We put on a performance, the kind of performance you wanted and needed, to get you to push past the cage that had been wrought around you. To finally transition. Breaking out of the cocoon hurts butterflies, so we pushed you.”
“Pushed too hard,” I said, remembering them stomping into that moment I’d had with Marlow.
He snorted at that.
“Bullshit.” Lightning crackled across his eyes. “You’re no different to Jakey there, wanting someone else to put you in the position you secretly crave, orchestrate things so you just happen to stumble into scenarios you can’t admit to yourself you want. At least he’s honest about it. You didn’t need to walk out of here and go for ‘girl time.’ You wanted what was happening in there as much as any of us.”
“And what is it that you want?” I said, my eyes narrowing down to slits.
There was a satisfaction that came from watching him fall silent, his mouth clicking shut. Yet more came from shaking Johnno off, feeling the loss and relief all at the same time, clambering over him until I got to the corner of the booth where Lucas sat. His eyes went wide as I straddled him, my hands going to his wrists and holding them down, pushing my face up into his.
“Well?” I said, not letting him look away, shifting when his gaze did. “What are they forcing you to do that you secretly want?”
I felt the power in his body, the muscles trembling with the effort of not throwing me off. And he could, as easily as a cat. They were all big guys, but he dwarfed me so much that I felt almost like a small child trying to pin an adult. I heard the rasp of his breath, the sounds of the band behind me starting to move, protest. But he stayed with me, staring back now, a whole lotta something going through those stormy eyes. I smiled to see that hard mask drop, to see the tempests building in those pale blue eyes.
“It’s this, isn’t it?” I said, grinding my hips down on his, feeling the kinda frighteningly large lump there. He might look like he wanted to rip my head off, but his body wanted to rip my clothes off.
It was about then that I got the game they were playing at the party, my own smile an echo of their sly ones. Did I look like some distant sneering goddess as they had looked like gods? Did he tremble from looking at, smelling me?
Yeah he did.
He threw my hands off, his hands going under my jacket and around my back, jerking me closer, his mouth crashing down on mine. It was an ugly, messy kiss, but the fact that I’d been able to ruffle his feathers so far that he completely lost his cool just made it super hot. He leant me back onto the table, offering me to his bandmates as he followed me down. His bloom filled my nose, a deep woody scent flavoured with pine, making my head spin as his tongue went down my throat, his hands clawing at my clothes. I matched him stroke for stroke, relishing the feel of all that power. While all of them were taller and bigger, he was so much more that I felt almost fragile in his arms.
Of course, all good things have to come to an end.
I had my hands buried in the thick fall of his hair, my lips around his tongue, sucking lightly on it, when the sparks started. Initially, the crackling sound I assumed was just him and I was right, in a way. Then, through the dizzying maelstrom of feeling, I felt the lightning begin again. They shivered at the edges of my vision, like a storm off on the horizon, the strikes of power shaky and hazy. They didn’t get any more powerful, since Lucas hauled himself back and off me. He was going to bolt, I saw it in the raging storm inside his eyes, so I slammed a sneakered foot into the vinyl seat beside him.
“What. The Fuck. Was that?”
Lucas was a mess. His hair was mussed, his shirt rucked up over a fucking gorgeous chest, his eyes wild, but I could feel the combined weight of the group’s regard on him, holding him where he was.
“Name a male god,” he rasped out, still taking long breaths to catch his.
“What?”
“Name a male god. Any of them.”
“What like Zeus or Odin or some shit?” I said with a frown.
“Yes.”
“Yes, what?” I looked around at the others, who just waited quietly.
“Them, Indra, Taranis, Orhmazd, Stribog. The great sky father,” he said with an unhappy twist of a smile. Weirdly, the lighting in his eyes settled as his expression got more and more angry. “That’s your lightning man.”
“That’s your lightning man,” I echoed.
“We’re all descended from humans and gods. Well, I’m from his. Too pure for some reason. The sentinels, if they knew about this? They’d have me put down like a dog. It’d be quick and humane, but still, I’d be executed. Because he wants back in, dear old great whatever granddad, and from what I can tell, he thinks he’ll be able to do that through you.”
Well, fuck.
14
I sat on the table, unable to form a thought or response, and feeling so spaced out, I was afraid I’d fall over. The guys seemed to think it as well, as Billy and Liam drew me down between them.
“Skin to skin,” Liam said, and the two of them pulled off my jacket, tossing it across the aisle, and then my shirt. That was probably going too far, leaving me in just my bra in the bus, but as their skin settled against mine, the brain fog began to fade.
“I’m out of here,” Lucas said, moving to climb over Johnno.
“No.”
Liam’s voice was like a whip crack, slapping all of us down.
“It’ll be OK, butterfly,” Billy said, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and pulling me over to rest my head on his shoulder. I wanted to resist that warmly amused voice, that grip, but I found myself settling into him and going boneless. “That’s right. Give it up to me.”
“Why does this make me feel so much better?” I asked, my eyes falling closed.
“All part of the psychic bond you forged so cavalierly.”
My eyes snapped open to see Aen standin
g up and leaning against the edge of the other table, regarding us with that sly smile of his. His eyes dropped down to study my bra in intense detail, winking at me when I began to splutter.
“A quintet, now a sextet. What an appropriate name.” He chuckled as we just stared. “When fae wanted to pool their resources, just like Daedelus did, hoping to reach for the heavens, they made these kinds of bonds. Bands of unbeatable warriors, kings of neighbouring kingdoms making invincible empires, all a result of these alliances. Tying yourself to others at the soul level, never able to break apart… Beautiful, terrible.” He shrugged. “A bit of both. And now you’ve put down roots, my flower, permanently too.” He looked a little sad at that for a second. “We talked about a courtship period, Jonathon.”
“You don’t know what it was like—” Johnno said.
“Of course, I do,” Aen said with an irritated wave. “She’s no diluted hybrid, no little scrap of a god trapped in mortal form. She’s a goddess. Every single one of us fights the urge to lay ourselves at her feet, craving the bite of her heels as they come down.” Jake whined at that. “But because we are men, we corral her and cage her and tie her down, terrified of what she’d do if she pulls free.” As if to confirm this, Liam’s hand went to mine, Billy’s arm tightening. “But you’re missing the point. If the old bastard in the sky is coming for her, what are you going to do about it?”
Silence fell over the bus at Aen’s words, causing him to snort and shake his head.
“Savage little children, playing with stars in the dirt with no idea what you have in your grubby little hands. Sky daddy’s agents are all around you, wanting to break this apart to package you and confine you all into their established order in preparation for his return, and all you’re focussed on is your petty power struggles. You’re bound now, too late to change that, so the question then becomes what’re you going to do about it? Rutherglen, the host courts, all of them power brokers and goddess killers. And one of their agents is coming now.”
Aen really was like a cat, coming and going as he pleased, and he winked out now just as he’d come. The guys were up, out of their seats, and searching for the man, but he was well and truly gone. But if we’d doubted his pronouncements at all, we were about to have one confirmed. A sharp rap on the bus door had all of us turning to look at who was mad enough to stumble in on this.
Rhiannon.
Her eyes raked over Liam’s chest when he went to open the door, but he blocked her path up the steps.
“What do you want? I told you to stay in the Rutherglen bus.”
“And you have a contract to fulfil. Initial shots are to be with David before the show starts. He wants to stir up the paparazzi, get some heat on this tour.”
“Heat? We’ve got sold out shows everywhere. Unless he’s adding some dates, we can’t take any more heat.”
“I don’t make the orders, I just follow them. Here’s the brief. It was faxed over to Marlow this morning.”
“Something I was just about to broach with the band. You were asked to wait in your bus until I was ready,” the man himself said, appearing at her shoulder.
“Forgive me if I don’t want to hang out in that stinking bus a minute longer,” she snapped at him, making me bristle. Billy smiled when I got to my feet, using the moment to inspect my bra in greater detail. Filmy red lace probably wasn’t a great choice today, but how was I to know it was tits out Tuesday? “Stop with the games, Liam. David wants sexy, naked, hot shots, something we’ve never had difficulties managing before. I know things didn’t end well…”
He stepped away from her, striding up the steps and down the aisle to stand with us. He looked fit to burst, his jaw grinding, but when she and Marlow followed behind him, we provided a united, if not especially well dressed front.
Her eyes went straight to me as some women do. It’s like it’s only other women that count. They’re the competition, the threats or the losers to grind under their heels. She took me in with one glance and then sniffed.
“Get rid of the groupie and get this supposedly hot shot new photographer of yours. I’m supposed to come to the interviews you’ve got in an hour.”
“You’re fucking shitting me,” Johnno said. “Photos are one thing, but interviews? What’s the angle?”
“We’re back together.” She moved to take Liam’s arm, but he stopped her from getting closer.
“No, that ain’t happening. If you want to make a fool of yourself contradicting me to the media, I’ve got no problems with that, but I’m not playing along with this little farce. Promo shots are covered in the contract, mandating my romantic partners is not.” She went to protest, but Liam shut her down quick. “You try and push this? I’ll have our lawyers on it in a second. No court in the world will uphold that kind of bullshit.”
“Fine,” she bit out. “Marlow will do my makeup, and then we’ll get started. Where are we supposed to be shooting this?”
Everyone turned to look at me. I shrugged, eyeing the light outside the bus windows. I glanced down the aisle to the main bedroom.
“I’ll need to take some light readings, but the orgy bed is as good a place as any,” I said. “Can I take a look at the brief?”
Marlow passed the sheaf of papers over to me. I scanned them quickly and saw the keywords picked out in bold. Sexy, intimate, telling the story of a groupie having found love in a rocker’s arms. I rolled my eyes. This was a pretty bloody clumsy swipe by Dave—forcing me to shoot my lover with his ex-girlfriend.
Lover?
I shoved that thought away, already feeling the analytical calm that taking photos always gave me. It was a relief really. It has been hot and cold running emotional drama since I got up. A bit of cool quiet was totally what was needed. I inspected the two of them, seeing how her paler blonde sat so well against his darker. Her skin was as pale as milk, while he was well tanned. Sun and moon. Then I moved towards the door, looking at the seven of them. They were all so beautiful. I held my hands up in front of my face, using my fingers to create an approximation of a viewfinder. Yep, this would totally work.
“She’s the photographer?” Rhiannon said.
“She sure is,” Jake answered.
“Right, I’ll get my gear. Everyone in the back room, naked.”
“Everyone?” Rhiannon’s voice became shrill. “This is not what I—”
“Well, it doesn’t actually specify who you’re shot with here,” Marlow said, consulting the brief. “It says penile and digital penetration is acceptable, and the band must be featured but not which members.”
Johnno said, “You don’t have to do this, Rhiannon. You do shoots for the major fashion houses. Doing soft core porn for the Rutherglen is going to jeopardise that.”
I felt sorry for her then, her face broadcasting her ambivalence. I hoped she’d honour that, bow out and go back to being a clothes horse for the rich and famous. But she didn’t. Her jaw tightened, her mouth thinning down.
“I gave my word to the Rutherglen. I can’t back out of that,” she said in a small voice.
“Well, let’s try and make this high fashion,” I said with a shake of my head. “Marlow?”
We were bent over the brief document, scanning it for loopholes.
“It says we can include penetration, but it doesn’t specify it has to. It says sexy, hot, suggestive of a relationship between Rhiannon and Liam. A lot of weasel words but no actual ‘peen must be in vag,’” I said tapping a finger to my lips.
“I’ll race back to wardrobe and bring back something lacy for her. It’ll work a whole lot better for what this is actually supposed to be for. The Rutherglen’s playing games, but topless shots of Rhiannon are only going to be able to be used with a very limited set of publications, even less if there’s bush.” Marlow looked up at me and then jerked his shirt off, lifting my arms and putting it on me.
“Thanks,” I said, instantly feeling comforted by the soft of the cotton, by the presence of his scent. He had a tight tank top
on underneath. “You didn’t have to. You’ve given me several suitcases full of clothes.”
“I know, but you like wearing our clothes, don’t you?”
My eyes dropped to his lips. “Well, yeah. That must drive you mad.”
“Fashion wise? Yeah. I could think of almost anything that would suit you better. But…” He moved in closer, running a finger under the collar, stroking the skin there. “Emotionally, I like the thought of something of mine touching you when I’m not here. It’s why I spent so much time on your wardrobe. Everything I make, everything I select… When I see it on you, I feel… It’s intense. It’s like I’ve marked you, that for a moment, you are mine.”
“I am yours,” I said, the words slipping out, but I couldn’t regret them. “Marlow?” He struggled to meet my gaze. “And I’ve been fighting you on the clothes… I was rejecting…you? You know that’s not what I meant, right?”
“I do, but Kira, it’s all I’ve got to give you. I can’t protect you from everyone who wants to take a bite, I can’t stop the Rutherglen from coming for you, but I can…I can package you in a way that makes you less vulnerable, opens more doors, and convinces people of your worth. So that’s what I do.”
I was glad I had Marlow in my life every day since we’d met, but never more than just now. I knew people in this world didn’t see his strength, but I did. He could have let the people with more power than him cow or beat him into submission, but he didn’t. Marlow endured. No matter what was going on or what was thrown at him, he persisted, which to me, was the greatest of strengths. So I leapt forward, threw my arms around him, and hugged him, hoping he understood that. He kissed me, in that way that he did, breaking my heart and remaking it again.
