Love & Loss (The Austin Series)

by C. J. Fallowfield

  ‘How do you mean?’

  ‘I was wondering if you could have a word with Davies, see if he’d let Gabe help out on the coaching side. Gabe told me that he wanted to be a PE teacher until his shoulder injury screwed up his plans. Maybe if he could help out, it would give him something positive to focus on. What do you think?’

  ‘I think it’s a bloody brilliant idea,’ he grinned.

  ‘You do?’

  ‘Yeah, I’ll ring Davies now and have a word.’

  ‘You’ll have to tell him about Gabe’s condition, he’d need to be prepared.’

  ‘I know and I’d tell him not to disclose it to anyone else, you can trust him, he’s a decent guy.’

  ‘Great. I was thinking if he could help out on swimming training nights, I could sort out a running schedule as well, give him something else to focus on. Do you know any of his friends that run that could go with him when I can’t?’

  ‘Yeah James and I run, we could pick up the slack when you can’t go with him. How about you Lex?’ he winked at her and she laughed.

  ‘You think you’re so funny,’ she replied with a gentle shove of his shoulder. He grinned and headed to the sofa to make the call. ‘You really ok Mia?’

  ‘I will be,’ I smiled. ‘I just want him to get better Lex. I hate seeing him all confused and angry, then he gets all upset after.’

  ‘You really thought he’d run to her.’

  ‘You didn’t see him last night Lex, he was furious.’

  ‘Why didn’t you come and get me?’ she asked, looking hurt.

  ‘Doug was here and well … you two weren’t talking, I thought it would be awkward for you both. You’re ok with this?’ I added in a whisper, nodding in his direction.

  ‘Yeah,’ she sighed. ‘It’s weird, part of me wants to avoid him for ever until I’ve got him out of my system, then part of me just wants to turn back the clock and try again,’ she smiled as she looked over in his direction, while he paced the lounge talking animatedly on his mobile.

  ‘You’d like to try again?’ I asked, full of hope.

  ‘If I didn’t have this frickin’ emotional baggage weighing me down, yeah,’ she nodded.

  ‘What can I do to help?’

  ‘Nothing,’ she said firmly. ‘You have enough on your plate with Gabe. Focus on him and I’ll work harder in counselling sessions ok?’

  ‘Ok,’ I smiled with a nod and reached out and touched her arm. ‘But you know I’m always here if you need any deep emotional chats?’

  ‘Goes both ways Page,’ she smiled. We looked around as Doug walked over.

  ‘Ok, I’ve struck a deal with Davies. He’s prepared to let Gabe coach the men’s team while he focusses on the women’s, if that’s what Gabe wants.’

  ‘Doug,’ I screeched, as I launched myself at him and hugged him tightly and peppered his cheek with kisses. ‘Thank you, thank you, thank you. I think it will really help him.’

  ‘Me too, great idea Mia,’ he replied as he hugged me back and kissed the top of my head. ‘Right, I’d like to hang around until I know that you’re ok on your own with him, then I think Lex and I better give you some space. You look knackered.’

  ‘You too,’ I smiled as I looked up at him and my eyes started to fill up. ‘You’re an amazing friend, to him and to me Doug.’

  ‘Shit, I’ve had my quota of emotional Mia for one week thanks,’ he laughed. ‘Lex come and take her off my hands. Coffee anyone?’

  We were all sitting in the lounge when I heard the bedroom door open and close and looked around to see Dr Jarvis.

  ‘Could I have a word in private?’ he asked looking directly at me.

  ‘If it’s ok with you, I’m happy for you to talk in front of Doug and Lexi. While Robert’s abroad, we’re pretty much his family.’

  ‘Ok. He’ll be fine, I’ll see him again daily now as he’s finding it difficult to adjust to being back in lectures and not being with you. He needs to take his medication at set times every night and I’ve increased his dose. He needs plenty of rest so I’ve prescribed some sleeping tablets for him to take each night for a while to knock him out and make sure he gets a full night’s sleep, which will definitely help. While he’s taking these he needs to avoid alcohol at all costs. He also needs to avoid any stressors where ever possible, so I would suggest …’ he stalled and rubbed his hands over his mouth as he looked at me.

  ‘Suggest what?’

  ‘That he doesn’t accompany you to any extracurricular activities you … enjoy, rather make arrangements to ensure he is happy that you are safe in the time he is not with you,’ he replied with a faint smile. I blushed, he was talking about my pole dancing.

  ‘Ok,’ I nodded. ‘Do you think the pressure of coaching the swim team would be too much for him? We’ve managed to organise it, if he’s up for it, I thought it may take his mind of things and give him something to focus on.’

  ‘I don’t see why that would cause him any undue stress, it would give him some purpose where he was lacking it from sitting out competing. Your safety is his main concern, try and minimise any stress to him over that and I think you’ll do just fine. Get in a routine with him, that will help reduce his worries.’

  ‘Is Mia safe alone with him?’ asked Doug with a concerned frown.

  ‘I wouldn’t leave him here if I didn’t think so. Right I’d better get back to the office. It was very nice to meet you all, a good support system is just what Gabe needs right now.’ He smiled at me and I realised how professional he was, he hadn’t once used my name or given any indication that he knew me. I got up and walked him to the front door.

  ‘Thank you,’ I smiled.

  ‘You’re welcome.’

  ‘See you tomorrow,’ I whispered and he just smiled and headed down the stairs. There was definitely not going to be a lack of communication on my part in our session tomorrow, not with all of this going on.

  ‘Right, I think it’s best we clear out, let you two be alone. Just ring me if you need me Mia,’ Doug advised as he gave me another hug.

  ‘I know, thanks again Doug. I think it’s best he stays in tonight, but once I’ve managed to speak to him about the coaching offer, I’ll let you know.’

  ‘Will you be ok?’ Lexi asked. ‘I can skip English and stay next door if you need me to?’

  ‘We’ll be fine Lex, besides you can’t afford to get behind. Not now you have a job as well which will eat up into your free time.’ I shoulder bumped her with a grin. She’d got a bar job at Peppers on Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday night, which only left us Monday nights to study together if we were still going to have our nights together on a Tuesday and Friday. ‘I’ll text you both later to let you know how we’re doing.’

  I shut the door, took a deep breath and headed into the bedroom. Gabe was missing, but the dressing room door was open and I could hear the shower going. I stripped off and headed into the bathroom, closing the door behind me. He was standing in the shower, in his glorious wet nakedness, his forearms folded on the tiled wall, resting his forehead on them. I slipped in behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist.

  ‘Hey,’ I whispered.

  ‘Hey,’ he said quietly and I kissed the back of his shoulder and noticed his ribs moving up and down faster.

  ‘So I’m staying home with you today. What would you like to do?’

  ‘I’d like to lose myself in you for a while, if that’s ok?’ he replied as he straightened up. I let go of him and he turned around and I gulped. His beautiful cock was at full mast and his eyes burned darkly. The sight of his solid perfect body turned on mine in an instant. He stepped towards me and gently clasped my face as he held my gaze. I felt my lips part as my pulse and breathing spiked. ‘Mia?’

  ‘Yes,’ I whispered as his thumbs swept across my cheekbones.

  ‘You’re so beautiful, I love you so much,’ he sighed as he lowered his head and his lips met mine. I moaned as he kissed me softly, delicate sweet kisses that made me sag against him.
He let go of my face and picked me up and turned me, placing my back against the wall. I automatically wrapped my legs around his waist and arms around his neck as I returned to kiss him more vigorously. ‘Hey, slow down,’ he murmured as his hands palmed and squeezed my bottom.

  ‘I want you,’ I sighed.

  ‘You’ve got me, I just want to take this slowly, to savour you baby,’ he sighed as he kissed me again. I followed his lead as his lips worked against mine, his tongue leisurely caressing mine as his fingers kneaded my backside. He moved around to kiss my neck, running his lips up and down it until I groaned as I felt myself flood with arousal.

  ‘Gabe, please,’ I pleaded as I flexed my hips and rubbed myself up and down his erection. One night apart had me full of desire to reconnect with him the best way we knew how. ‘I need you.’

  ‘I need you too baby, so much,’ he mumbled as he nibbled my ear. He slid a hand under my thigh and positioned himself before thrusting straight up into me and holding himself still inside me as we both groaned. I could feel him pulsating inside me as he reached his right hand up to palm my face and search my eyes.

  ‘What?’ I smiled as I swivelled my hips on him, relishing the thickness of his girth filling me completely.

  ‘You take my breath away Mia Page,’ he whispered. ‘I don’t know what I did to deserve you.’

  ‘You loved me, better than anyone has ever loved me Gabe. Don’t talk, we can talk later. You wanted to lose yourself for a while, do that with me, in me. Use my body to make yourself feel better.’ I twisted my head to kiss his wrist.

  ‘I feel like I’ve got poison running through my veins, I’m no good for you,’ he said quietly as his eyes turned sad again.

  ‘Then let me be your antidote. Look at what we’ve been through Gabe. We’re two commitment phobes who couldn’t be more committed if we tried. We were meant to be.’ I reached forward with one hand and palmed his face, matching his gesture and gently kissed his soft lips again.

  ‘Destined?’

  ‘Yes,’ I smiled. ‘Destined.’ That was a good way to sum up how I felt about our relationship. No matter what we were going to make it work because it was meant to be. ‘I love you Gabe, let’s talk later, right now I want you to make love to me, then I want you to take me to bed so I can lie in your arms and go to sleep. I missed you so much last night.’

  ‘I missed you too baby, I’m so sorry.’

  ‘Sssshhhh.’ I kissed him again and raised myself up and then sank back down his shaft and he grunted before pinning my hips to the wall with his palms and slowly thrusting into me, before withdrawing nearly all the way out and pushing into me again, over and over. ‘O God,’ I cried. How he made my body feel was indescribable, pleasure surged through every molecule of my being, right to the blunt tips of my hair. My thighs tightened around his hips as I moved with him, in perfect synchronicity. My nipples were stinging, his pelvic bone rubbing against my clit. My orgasm was chasing me down already, my body helpless to resist. I dropped my head back onto the tiles as I opening my mouth and closed my eyes. ‘Ahhhh Gabe … Gabe.’

  ‘Look at me baby, please look at me,’ he begged. It took at enormous amount of effort to lower my head and look at him through half closed eyes. I could feel my cheeks were flushed as he moved through me, igniting my core with every gentle thrust. ‘Tell me Mia, I need to hear it.’

  ‘I love you Gabe,’ I groaned as my fingers moved to grip his powerful shoulders.

  ‘Still?’

  ‘Yes, always. I love you,’ I cried and he groaned as he silenced me, sealing my mouth shut with his, his tongue sinking into the depths and tangling with mine. I clenched everything, as my fingers and toes curled and I exploded, convulsing around him as I went dizzy with the high of a powerful orgasm ripping through me. Gabe pulled his head back and yelled my name as he emptied himself into me, moving inside me until I’d ridden my climax out completely and flopped against him, tightening my arms around his neck.

  ‘I don’t know what I’d do without you Mia,’ he sighed against my hair as he kissed it.

  ‘You’ll never have to find out.’

  I woke up with him wrapped tightly around me, his chest against my back, one leg hooked over my hip, an arm under my neck clutching my shoulder and the other circling my waist. I smiled to myself, I could lie like this in his arms for ever, I felt so safe and loved. It was so hard to reconcile this Gabe with the angry one that had stood in the doorway this morning. I trailed my fingers up and down his large bicep and dipped my head to kiss the hand clutching my shoulder.

  ‘You’re awake,’ he responded with a kiss to the back of my neck.

  ‘I am. How did you sleep?’

  ‘Really well thank you.’

  ‘You must be hungry.’

  ‘I am.’

  ‘I’ll go and make us some dinner then.’ I kissed his hand again and tried to move, but he tightened everything around me.

  ‘Not for food,’ he advised in a sensual tone as he nibbled on my ear lobe.

  ‘We need to talk Gabe.’

  ‘Can we have sex first,’ he asked as his fingers made their way down my stomach and ran back and forth across my pelvic line.

  ‘Gabe,’ I protested. ‘This is serious, much as I love sex with you we need to talk about last night.’

  ‘Baby,’ he sighed.

  ‘Honest communication that was what we agreed when we got back together. Stay in bed, I’ll go and put something in the oven and we can talk while it cooks.’

  ‘Fine, whatever.’ He let go of me and flopped onto his back as I quickly sprung out of bed. I’d like nothing more than to stay there and be taken advantage of, but he was trying to distract me from the main issue. I pulled on his shirt and headed to the kitchen and prepared a lasagne and put it in the oven and tossed up a salad with avocado, walnuts and dressing and popped it in the fridge and cracked myself a beer and Gabe a non-alcoholic one. I bent to pick up a stray lettuce leaf from the floor and squealed as a resonating slap hit my bottom. ‘Fuck you look sexy enough in my shirt, without actually cooking too.’

  ‘Here, a chilled beer,’ I smiled as I turned to hand it to him. God he looked edible bare chested with his messed up sleep hair and a pair of low slung black sweatpants.

  ‘Non-alcoholic?’ he screwed up his face.

  ‘Come on, stop moaning,’ I smiled as I took his hand and led him to the lounge. ‘Sit,’ I ordered pointing at the armchair.

  ‘Bossy.’

  ‘Tonight you are going to do as you’re told, do I make myself clear?’ I asked as he sat and looked up at me.

  ‘Ok,’ he replied, not sounding too sure.

  ‘You are going to talk to me about what’s going on in that head of yours. Then we’re going to plan the week ahead so you can relax about it. From now on we are going to do this on a Sunday night, every Sunday night so you know what’s happening for the week ahead. Tonight we’ll eat dinner and can make out on the sofa, then I plan on giving you a very sexy pole dance with a new cheerleader outfit I had delivered because I’d like you to use that bondage rope on the new headboard and fuck me until I scream. Any complaints?’

  ‘None whatsoever,’ he smiled widely and patted his lap for me to hop on.

  Valentines Night

  I tucked my hair behind my ear as I perched on the bar stool and looked around me. The hotel bar was busy, with so many men in suits, some of whom had tried to chat Lexi and I up, but we’d politely turned them away. We were here in London to meet Sam, besides my gaze kept going to the good looking guy seated at the top end of the bar who was eyeing me intently. The look on his face screamed sex and I had to press my thighs together to try and dampen the longing pooling there.

  ‘Ok?’ asked Lexi as she stood beside me and wriggled.

  ‘I’m fine,’ I smiled. ‘Will you stop fidgeting, you look amazing.’ She was wearing the sexy black dress I’d purchased for her in New York, the one with the metal safety pins up to her hips and across her chest. She’d dye
d her hair that lustrous black with a slight blue sheen and had gone all out on the dark smoky eyes. Her brilliant green eyes shone like freshly polished emeralds.

  ‘I feel stupid,’ she grizzled.

  ‘You look sexy. If I was a lesbian I’d go for you in that.’

  ‘You would?’ her face light up.

  ‘I would,’ I nodded.

  ‘Well you look seriously hot too. That dress is incredible.’ She nodded as she looked me up and down. I blew out a breath as I looked at it. It was as if someone had wrapped strips of black fabric around me, covering the bits that had to be covered, but leaving plenty of flesh exposed. Exposed was the word for it, I felt on display and as another guy checked me out I gulped and knocked my drink back. ‘What time is it?’ she asked.

  ‘Time. He’s late, I bet he’s not coming.’

  ‘Please, like anyone would turn down the prospect of a threesome with us two, we’ve got it going on,’ Lexi advised as she shoved my shoulder.

  ‘I feel like a slutty hooker,’ I mumbled as I looked down at my six inch heels with small black metal spikes up the back of them.

  ‘And you’re about to pick up the score of a lifetime,’ she whispered in a breathy tone. I looked up at her, then followed her eye line across the hotel bar and there he was, Sam of Nevada 6, just like he’d promised. He ran a hand through his dark hair and sauntered over, with the cocky swagger of a guy that knew every woman in the bar knew who he was and wanted him. I crossed my legs and saw his gaze run up the bare flesh of my thigh and his tongue flicked out as he wet his lip and lifted his eyes to my face. I smiled, he winked, Lexi groaned and I chuckled.

  ‘Mia, wow, you look even better than I remembered,’ he grinned as he kissed me on each cheek, one hand in the small of my back. I flicked my eyes down the bar to see my admirer sit up a bit straighter with a frown creasing his forehead.

  ‘Sam, you look … very bad boy. So this is Lexi.’ I nodded my head in her direction and saw her take a nervous chew on the side of her lip.