"Found it!"
Zara turned her head and noticed Trish trotting to her car.
"Oh." Zara grinned, following her. Nearly toppling over her heels, she trudged steadily on the concrete as it swayed before her eyes, trying her best to keep her balance. She had already fallen twice in the club, and the last thing she needed was to fall on the concrete and bruise up her knees. Plus she was looking too cute tonight in her newly bought, body con dress, to be looking a mess.
As soon as Zara got in her car, she leaned her head tiredly against the headrest, the heaviness deepening in her skull.
"Ugh, my fuckin' head is spinning," Zara shut her eyes.
"Yeah, that's 'cause you kept letting that busta ass nigga buy you all them shots," Trish joked.
Zara laughed. "Shit, it ain't my fault his dumb ass wanted to pay for all them drinks."
"I know right. And you played his ass to the left when he tried to get your number too. Poor thing."
"Nu-uh, his Wesley Snipes lookin' ass was not gettin' no play from me."
Trish laughed
A ringing sound broke their conversation, and Trish dug into her purse for her phone. She hissed her teeth, when she looked at the screen.
"Ugh, it's Vance."
Zara suddenly jumped up. "Ooh, let me answer it."
"Bitch no," Trish moved away when Zara reached for the phone.
"C'mon, you know that's my boo."
"He don't want you Zara. How many times do I gotta tell you that?"
"Yes he does, he just don't know it right now."
"Delusional ass." Trish shook her head.
"Tell your brother I love him."
"Zara."
"No seriously, tell him."
"No, I'm not telling him that." Trish hung up the phone and put it back in her purse.
"Why you didn't answer?"
"Because, he's just gonna say, 'Trish where you at? Why you out so late? Come home,'" she mocked in a deeper baritone, then rolled her eyes. "He always tryna treat me like I'm some baby, I swear."
"He just needs some of this good pussy in his life, it’ll help to relieve his stress."
A sudden pinch on her arm made Zara jump.
"Ow!" she rubbed her arm in pain.
"Hoe."
Zara grinned, starting up the engine. "You know you love it."
As Zara sped on the road, she and Trish sang along to their favorite songs blaring from the radio. The DJ seemed to play all the classics tonight and Zara loved it.
"Shit, Zara the truck!"
Zara snapped out of her trance only to notice the bright headlights beaming at them. In panic, Zara gripped the steering wheel to swerve away. Tires screeched as the car veered beyond her control. They screamed. Horns blared as the truck loomed closer. She slammed the breaks and the car jerked forward, spinning in rushed speed. Within a flash, the vehicles collided.
Zara jumped out of her sleep, gasping for air. Realizing she had woken up from another nightmare, Zara huffed out a breath of relief and clenched her hair, rocking back and forth. After 5 years, the haunting images of that night still plagued her mind so vividly. She could still remember waking up in the hospital room from a coma days later only to find out her best friend didn't make it, instead had died on impact. That horrific accident had changed her life forever. 3 years in prison was what the judge had given her. But no time in prison would ever amount to the unbearable pain of losing a loved one. She blamed herself. It was her fault why Trish wasn't here. If she hadn't made the careless decision to drive intoxicated, she would still be alive. Zara would never forgive herself for what she had done.
Zara wrapped her arms around her torso, as she sat in the darkened room, urging to get high. When she was high, she was in a different world. Free from the pain. A place where she was at peace.
Zara groaned in agony. This was torture.
She shut her eyes for a moment, and forced herself to relax. Letting out a deep breath, she listened to the rhythm of her breathing as it descended to a slower cadence. She learned in rehab, that deep breathing helped to calm the nerves.
Finally feeling more at ease, Zara opened her eyes only to be welcomed by the subtle ray of sunlight shining from the window. The dim strip of light peeking through the clouds, shed a beautiful array of orange across the violet hued horizon. For the first time in a while, she admired nature's beauty.
Urging for a smoke, Zara grabbed her pack of New Ports and lighter, before leaving the room. She made her way down the stairs and toward the back of the house. When she arrived at the sliding door, she froze at the sight of Vance. Her nerves tensed.
After how cold he behaved towards her yesterday, she felt uncomfortable in his presence. She knew he was angry at her for what she had done. But she never realized just how much he truly hated her until yesterday. She didn't expect him to act so...cold. She thought after 5 years that maybe....
What was she thinking? There was no way he would ever get over it. How could he? What she had done was unforgivable and she didn't blame him for feeling the way he did.
Since their last encounter, Zara kept her distance. She hoped they could at least reach a point where they could be cordial. But that would probably never happen.
Zara took the time to watch him. He sat in the chair, as the sun's morning rays shone on his smooth milk chocolate skin, clad in nothing but a wife beater and sweatpants, drawing out clouds of smoke each time he took a pull of his cigarette. She couldn't help but admire his muscular frame, those brawny built arms asserting his masculinity in pure form. His muscles flexed each time he placed the cigarette to his lips, sparking a flare of heat in her lower regions. She wondered what it would be like to run her fingers across those muscles as he fu-
Zara quickly shook her thoughts away. She shamed herself for thinking such un-pure thoughts. Vance was the last person she should be lusting over at this point.
Zara slid the door open. He turned his head, and his face formed into a scowl. With a scoff, he turned back around and shook his head.
Despite his dismissive response, she stepped onto the deck and sat in the chair next to him. She wasn't going to let his presence drive her away. This was her sister's house gotdamnit. She could go wherever she pleased.
She placed a fresh cigarette in her mouth. The musky winds treaded the atmosphere, cooling her skin under her silk night gown. The chirping of birds under the morning sun filled the silence.
His leg shook restlessly and she looked at him. His jaw bulged as he glared ahead without a word. It was clear he was annoyed with her presence, but she still didn't move. He was going to have to deal with her being here, whether he wanted to or not.
She should've been used to this anyway. He had always been mean to her.
She remembered when they first met. He and Trish had just moved to the neighborhood during her last year in middle school. The first time she ever laid eyes on Vance, Zara swore she was in love.
"Hey, Vance" Zara said, sweetly as they crossed paths in the hallway. Dressed in a fresh basketball jersey and crisp Air Force 1's kicks, Zara swooned at his appearance. He always dressed so fresh.
"Sup," He kept walking, barely sparing her a glance.
She frowned. Damn!
He had been here for a week now, and that was all he could say to her. Sup? What else did she have to do to get his attention?
It wasn't like she was ugly or anything.
She huffed, frustrated. It was probably because she was still flat chested. Luckily, she had stuffed some tissue in her bra this morning, so they didn’t look too bad. She pulled the hem of her shirt lower then perked up the little bit of breasts she had. She fluffed her shoulder length curls, then glossed her lips with lip gloss.
She followed him, switching her hips as best she could. He approached his door and pulled out his keys from his pocket.
She approached him. "So, you got a girlfriend?"
He turned to her, with a raised brow. "What?"
"You got
a girl?" she repeated, propping up her chest.
He gave her a weird look, before snickering and fiddling with his keys.
"What’s so funny?" She put her hand on her hip.
"Don't ya young ass got homework to do or something?"
The fact that he called her young annoyed her.
"Who you calling young? I'm grown." she folded her arms.
"Really..." He grinned, amused.
"Yes, really. And don't let the baby face fool you. Trust me I know a lot more than you think," she said, in a sexy tone.
She wasn't some little virgin, who didn't know how to handle a real man. She may have been young, but she knew what she wanted. And that was him.
He shook his head. "Yeah iight, shorty. Whateva you say."
She gritted her teeth. He was taking her for some joke.
"I'm serious. I could be the woman you need." She stepped closer to him.
He slightly shoved her away. "Man, get ya fast ass outta here."
He entered his apartment and shut the door.
The memory made her grin. She didn't know what the hell she was thinking, approaching him like that. She thought she was so grown. And for him to turn her down, she had never felt so rejected. The crazy thing was, it only made her want him more.
Out of all the guys, Vance always stood out. He was tall, lean, with smooth milk chocolate skin, and a gorgeous face that could make any girl weak. Back then, Zara had her fair share of crushes, and even some boyfriends but she wanted Vance. Badly. Which was the initial reason, she became friends with his sister in the first place. She thought doing so, would get her closer to Vance. But she was wrong. He still continued to give her the cold shoulder like she never existed. She didn't understand why. She always got the impression that he didn't like her for some reason. It bothered her for years. And even now, a deep part of her still felt like that same little girl whenever he came around.
She took the time to gaze at him, taking in the very features she loved. Those slanted brown eyes, his full thick lips, high cheek bones, that sharp muscular jawline of his. Just beautiful. Now sporting a low ceaser cut, and a neatly trimmed goatee, he was still as attractive as he was the day she first laid eyes on him.
He met her gaze and she looked away, taking a pull of her cigarette.
Shaking his head, he tossed his away and got up from his seat. She rolled her eyes. She was sick of this.
"Vance."
He ignored her and opened the sliding door.
"Vance, I'm sorry!"
He stopped in his tracks and spun around.
With a sigh, she stood up. "I'm sorry...I'm sorry about Trish. About everything. I never meant for any of it to happen. I honestly didn't..."
His scowl deepened at the mention of her name.
"You what?"
He trudged toward her in calculated steps and she instantly regretted even saying a word. He stood inches away from her, his tall stature towering over her 5'7ft frame.
"You sorry?" His menacing eyes pierced her with the same look of hate that made her shiver. Zara's heart battered against her chest. Nervous, Zara braced herself for what he was about to do. He gripped her arm and she winced in pain, as his fingers dug into her skin.
"Let me tell you something..." He uttered with clenched teeth. "I don't give a fuck about your apologies. Ain't none of that shit gonna bring her back. So, that don't mean shit to me."
He drew his face closer to hers, the heat from his anger smoldering her.
"I knew you wasn't shit from the moment I met you. You ain't nothin' but a fuckin' hoe that ruined my sister's life. You're the reason she's dead in the first place. The only reason why I'm not beating your ass right now, is out of respect for your sister. But if you know what's best for you, stay the fuck away from me."
His cold words rendered her speechless. To hear him speak with such hate, crushed every part of her dignity into nothingness. She knew in her heart she deserved that, but god, it hurt. Weakening by the second, she fought back her tears, not wanting to break down in front of him. After what seemed like an eternity, he finally let go of his grip and walked back inside.
Chapter 4
Vance stared at his sister's picture, his heart softening at her beautiful smile. Those dimples used to get him every time. Whenever she wanted her way, she always knew to smile that big smile of hers and he would melt in her hands like putty. She was the only one who had the ability to do that. A hallow pain deepened in his chest. Without her, he was lost, empty. He would do anything in the world to have his sister back.
He rested the picture frame on his desk, and ran his hand over his waves. Just when he was beginning to move on, he found himself mourning her death again. It was fucking him up. And it was because of one reason. Zara. Ever since she came back, he couldn’t think straight, he couldn't eat, couldn't sleep. Just her presence, sparked painful feelings of his sister's loss. She had ruined his life and he hated her for it.
A sudden knock on the door tore him from his thoughts and he sat up. He adjusted the collar of his polo shirt before clearing his throat.
"Come in," he spoke.
The door opened and his employee, Derek peaked in.
"Aye, I don't mean to disturb you, but I wanted to talk to you real quick."
"Sure, come in."
Derek stepped in his office and sat in the chair before him.
"What's going on?" Vance latched his hands, attentively.
"Well, a couple of the kids just got into a fight and I was hoping you could mediate the situation."
"Who?"
"Javier and Trey."
Vance sighed. Javier, once again. This wasn't new, he always seemed to give problems.
"What happened now?"
"Well, during practice, they got into it. Started arguing and yelling for whatever reason. Next thing I know, they break into a full on fight. So I tried to get in between and break it up, but Javier started bugging out, cursing, yelling, so we took him to the locker room to cool off. We got a few staff in there with him, trying to calm him down but it don't seem to be working. I'm thinking you could go over there and talk to him, maybe it could help."
"Alright." Vance nodded and they exited the office.
Just a year ago, he became the youth program coordinator at Brookfield community center in South Bronx. It had always been his dream to do so, especially having grown up in the crime infested city, where young men were lucky to even make it past the age 18. Fortunately, the center kept him from veering off into darker paths. He had gotten involved in many of the programs the center provided, which helped to keep him focused. He had seen many of his peers fall victim to the streets, he knew how easy it was to fall between the cracks. So he wanted to do something in his power to prevent that from happening to the next generation.
Vance made his way to the locker room, where he found 11 year old Javier seated on the bench, surrounded by 3 other staff.
"What's going on?" Vance approached them.
"Well, Javier and Trey got into a fight during drills. We're tryna figure out what even sparked the fight in the first place, but he won't give us any answers," the young basketball couch, Amir explained.
"Where's Trey now?"
"Over at the nurse getting checked out."
"Is he alright?" he asked, concerned.
"Yeah, just a bloody nose, but we just wanted to make sure he was good."
Vance nodded, then looked at Javier who sat quietly without a word.
"Alright, give us a minute. I wanna talk to him."
They then left the locker room, leaving them alone. Vance sat next to Javier.
"What's up with you, man?"
Javier kept his gaze on the tiled floor.
"This is the 3rd time I'm hearing about you fighting. What's the problem?"
Javier shrugged.
"Nothing?"
He shook his head.
"What's the issue between you and Trey?"
"He started talkin' shit 'bout
my brother, so I beat his ass," he spoke boldly.
"But we don't allow fightin' in here, you know that. That's not how we handle our problems."
"Well I ain't gon’ let nobody talk about my brother like that."
"What did he say about your brother?"
"Was just talking shit. Sayin' that's he's a bitch and that's why he's dead and how his brother's people got to him. So, I snuffed his bitch ass."
Vance shook his head, disheartened. Another young kid losing a family member to violence, only to be influenced by the same dysfunctional upbringing. If this continued, he would most likely follow in his brother's footsteps, probably even falling to the same fate.
“Javier, you can't let what others say get to you. And I know it's hard, especially when it's about somebody you love, trust me I know. But you got to learn to push past it."
"But I ain't no punk. If somebody talk shit about my brother, I'm a snuff 'em."
"I understand, I do. To lose somebody it hurts, we always wanna protect their memory, honor their name, but fighting everybody who says something, isn't gonna help either."
"But that's my brother..."Javier lowered his head, tears rolling down his face.
"I know." Vance placed his arm around his shoulder. He felt his pain. Losing someone so close and dear to the heart was the worst pain anyone could experience. It tore at the soul. Ripped at one's sanity. The pain never goes away.
"You're a smart kid Javier, and you got a lot of talent. I've seen you during the games, you got the potential to be something great. You just gotta learn to stay focused. Use all your energy and put it into something positive. I don't wanna see you fall through the cracks."
Javier reminded him so much of himself and many of his peers growing up. A young kid, just trying to survive in a destructive world that was set up for him to fail. Society would look down on kids like Javier. But they all had the potential to be something special, they just needed someone to give them a chance.
"Tell you what, I'm gonna set you up with Derek. He's gonna mentor you," he said. Derek was one of his valuable employees, who was also involved in the mentorship program. He was great with the youth and he was certain he would make a positive influence on Javier.
Ashes Page 2
