Even Sinners Have Souls

by Joy, E. n.

  She felt dirty. Tears fought their way out of her sad eyes. She cried out as all of the men she had treated to her bodily fruits were now present and tearing at her flesh like crows feasting on tainted prey.

  "Dina, please don't leave me in here," she heard her sister cry.

  Pinned down by mangled arms and legs of all sizes and complexions, Dina was unable to move. She felt ambushed as she fought and tussled to push the limbs off of her. She stretched her arms out to the heavens and cried out for help when her body shifted to another destination. She was now in one of the heroin houses she supplied and operated.

  Dina witnessed the dilapidation of the lives of the people she touched, and the deterioration of their minds, from the poison she pumped. She watched as fiends copped their train and went to the next room to climb aboard, and take off on the ride of a lifetime. Some would ride the train to the last stop and never get off.

  Dina walked into the room and saw junkies lavishing one another with needles. They were sticking them into every vein imaginable, and unimaginable, to the human mind as they faded to their version of glory. One of the fiends had taken it too far. She shoved so much dope in her veins that she OD'd. The shrieking screams from the crowd of vultures was enough to awaken the dead as they mauled one another for the left over train on the dead woman's spoon. Dina watched as the spoon fell to the ground with the junkies falling right behind it. The vultures scrounged around, picking up molecular granules of heroin.

  Next, Dina found herself in a six by ten jail cell that was dim, and dark upon entering. Dina's ears were still ringing from the clamorous sound of the fiends' screams. They now were introduced to the deafening thrash of the bars closing behind her. Her sister's back was turned, but Dina's presence was known.

  "Why, Dina?" Denise spoke softly.

  "I don't know."

  "You know," Denise said, her back remained turned to Dina as she waited for her sister to speak.

  "No one ever cared about me. All they cared about was Denise, the straight A student with her 4.0 GPA," Dina finally admitted. "Did you know Denise made class president? Did you know Denise got a full scholarship? Denise is smart, she's waiting until she gets married to start a family. Denise this, Denise that. Name a time when anybody in our family asked me what I wanted to be in life. You can't, can you? No, you can't because they never cared about me. It was always all about you, the good twin!"

  "I've always cared about you, you know that. We're twins, Dina. We have a special bond. No matter how much you try to separate yourself from me, you're very much a part of me. And I am very much a part of you. We are one. You're my sister, and I love you. I will always love you. You've always known who you were. It was me who was always looking for acceptance from people, thinking that I didn't measure up. You've always been the smarter twin. No one has to sing your praises. You know the special qualities you possess. You'll always be my little big sister and you'll always be beautiful to me."

  Dina's armor, that she had protected herself with for so many years, was fading fast. She loved her sister. Deep down, she didn't want to hurt her. Dina wanted to look her sister in the eyes and tell her how sorry she was. She was sorry for standing there and letting the police take her. She was sorry for sleeping with her fiancé. She was sorry for putting her through so many years of drama.

  "Denise?" Dina called as she turned her sister around so that they could be face to face. Dina had to look away. She saw the outer shell of her sister's face, but there was a black hole where her features belonged.

  Suddenly, she found herself sitting in the basement of Fifth Street Baptist Church. Their family attended the church every Sunday until the twins were seven years old. That's when their father began abusing their mother. It was then that they stopped attending services and Dina's belief in God had diminished.

  Dina sat in Sunday school, alone, fully grown, in a chair that was made for a child. She was looking at a chalkboard full of Bible lessons as Denise's words re- played in her head, "My sister, flesh of my flesh, blood of my blood, please, I ask you in the name of the Father, of the Son and the Holy Spirit to pray to the Lord, our Savior, and continue to search your soul for the righteousness and good in your heart. It's there, you hear me? I know it's there."

  Dina's body continued to stir restlessly as she slept. Her dream then led her up the church stairs. She saw her sister, her three children, and Scratch, crying over a casket. Naturally, Dina wanted to comfort them. She came up on Kayla and attempted to hug her, but her arms went through her. Kayla couldn't see her either. Dinky was beside himself in anguish. He was bowled over with his head in his hands, asking God, "why?" She watched as Scratch did all he could to contain her son. As Dina got closer to the casket, her limbs began to ache and her soul stirred within. She peered over at the unlucky victim and did a double take. It was her, lying in a white casket embellished with lavender flowers. Her chocolate skin rested in peace against the vanilla, satin lining.

  "No! No! No!" Dina screamed. Her mind state was stupefied by the vision her eyes had beheld. She knew that it was her body in the casket. But what she didn't know was where her soul had gone.

  Chapter Five

  JUDGMENT DAY

  The downtown courtroom was compiled of all sorts of plaintiffs, suspected offenders, and spectators. The courts were backed up prior to the holiday season, making the current case level off the chain. It was Christmas Eve and Judge Blackwell was the presiding judge. He was a judge that showed no mercy to the defendants who came before him. He took pride in teaching criminals a lesson. It was safe to say it wouldn't be a Merry Christmas for many.

  Concerned family members, stickmen, stickgirls and baby mamas filled the aisles as case after case was called, and defendant after defendant was served with a hill of time and sent to the back. Vocal outbursts of protest and physical scuffles between family rivals were being poorly controlled by the court officers.

  "I said, I want order in this court," Judge Blackwell said as he slammed his gavel down for the third time. He was trying to settle the crowd down. He had just revoked bond for one of Richmond's known heroin dealers, Tony White. Two of his women had come to court for him, and they were expecting their Daddy to walk out with them so they could present him with the candy apple red 500SL Mercedes they'd chipped in and copped him. They both went ballistic when the judge laid down his law.

  The case of Dina Stewart was called. Denise was led from a holding cell through a huge, steel, gray door that adjoined the courtroom. Her feet and hands were shack- led, resembling a captured slave. She wore the same dingy, orange jumpsuit. It looked two sizes too big. Denise looked, with tired eyes, up at the judge from the podium she stood at. Officers were at her sides as if she was a threat to society.

  Judge Blackwell's attention was not on Denise. His pink, balding, head that held a handful of white hair, with age spots, speckled underneath, was buried into the criminal file of Dina Stewart. His head shook slowly from side to side in disbelief and disappointment in the system for which he had given twenty years of his life. He looked above his silver, wire framed, eyeglasses at the woman who he thought was Queen D.

  "Looks like you've been a very busy young lady. I think it's time we slow you down for good," the judge said calmly.

  "Your Honor, please. There's been a big mistake. My name is Denise Stewart, not Dina," Denise tried to convince yet another authority. "Officer Smith, with the Richmond City Police, is working on clearing my name right now as I stand here before you. I work for Blake and Headley. Surely you've heard of them. My fiancé' is Cannon Matthews; he's up for District Attorney. You must know who I'm talking about," Denise pleaded. "Dina is my twin sister. Your Honor, I assure you that I am not her."

  Judge Blackwell didn't hear a word Denise said. As far as he was concerned, after the file he had just read, there was nothing to hear. In his eyes, he was doing the City of Richmond a great justice.

  Denise turned to look around the courtroom. She would have given
anything to see Smitty and Cannon coming to her rescue to straighten out this mess. She wasn't expecting to see Dina, but there was a small part of her that wished her twin sister would have done the right thing and turned herself in.

  "Dina Stewart also known as Queen D, you are charged with two counts of aggravated assault, possession of heroin with intent to distribute, possession of crack cocaine with intent to distribute, possession of a loaded firearm, eluding the police, obstruction of justice and failure to appear. How do you plead?"

  "Not guilty," Denise screamed.

  "Fine, we'll note your plea. If you can't afford an attorney, one will be appointed to you. With your record, and your charges, I have no choice but to hold you with- out bond. We'll see you back here March of next year on the 3rd."

  "No bond? Next year? You can't be serious. I am not Dina Stewart, I'm her twin sister, Denise. I've given you reputable avenues to verify my identity. I can give you my social security number and you can have me looked up right now."

  His gavel struck down. "Order in my court. I didn't ask you to speak. I have already spoken."

  "You idiot, you're not even listening to me. What kind of judge are you?" Denise lost her cool.

  "Get this woman out of my courtroom; now," the judge demanded.

  The courtroom went wild. Tony White wasn't the only one who would be spending Christmas in jail.

  ***

  The kids had shopped until they dropped the night before and had gone straight to bed when they arrived back home. Here it was, late morning, Christmas Eve, and they were still asleep. Scratch hadn't gotten any sleep at all. He was up waiting for Dina all night, but she never showed. He was also thinking about Dinky's secret. He got the kids up and gave them breakfast. Scratch had distracted Kayla and Kima by spreading a couple of presents all over the living room table and let- ting them open them early. He met up with Dinky, who was fiddling around in Scratch's bedroom.

  "Aight, Dink, what's really going on?" Scratch said, peeking out of the door before closing it behind him.

  Dinky stopped messing with Scratch's cologne and sat on his bed. "Scratch, I love my mama and I don't want her to go away, but my Auntie Dee is not like my mama. She can't do no jail time."

  "Dinky, you're still not telling me what's what. You're talking in circles. I need details."

  "When my Auntie Dee came and got us the other day, she told me she was going to find my mama. Then my mama comes back without Auntie Dee and tells me she's my Auntie Dee and not to say anything."

  Scratch listened intensely as Dinky ran down his mama's game. After giving Scratch an earful of informa- tion, Dinky then paused. He wasn't sure if he should tell Scratch what else he'd heard.

  "Keep going," Scratch told him.

  "Well, then I heard my mama in the bedroom with Uncle Cannon." Dinky looked at Scratch. He saw his facial expression change. Dinky was nine, but he was still a male, and he understood the look very well.

  "In the room with your Uncle Cannon, huh? What was she doing in there?" Scratch asked, unsure if he really wanted to know the answer.

  "From what I heard, the same things my Uncle Cannon and my Auntie Dee do. They were making a lot of noises, you know," he said, not realizing the implications of his words.

  Scratch's collar got hot, causing him to unbutton the top two buttons of his beige and brown-striped Sean John shirt. Dinky quickly added, "And I heard her talking to my Auntie Dee on the phone, but it didn't sound like she was trying to help her get out of jail."

  Scratch's head was throbbing. He was already risking everything by securing fake passports, social security cards, and identification cards for all of them. Not to mention he was technically harboring the children of a fugitive, and had purchased airline tickets for them all. And here it was Dina was still keeping important information from him. She never bothered to tell him that Denise had gotten locked up because of her. He knew Dina didn't trust anyone, but Scratch thought he was breaking down that barrier within her. He saw that he was nowhere near the mark. He couldn't help but wonder if Dina was playing him like she was playing everyone else.

  "Dink, go on and keep your sisters busy. Matter-a- fact, you can go on and open a couple of your gifts too. I have some calls of my own to make," Scratch told him.

  "Are you going to get my Auntie Dee out of jail?" Dinky anxiously questioned.

  "I'm going to try, lil' man," Scratch told him as he patted Dinky on the shoulder. "I'm going to try."

  Dinky left the room, leaving behind the weight of his secret. He felt a whole lot better. Dinky wasn't thinking about his mother and how angry she would be if she ever found out that he had told their secret. All he could think about was his Auntie Dee and how good she had always been to them and how he missed her. He hoped that he hadn't told the secret in vain.

  ***

  Dina's cell phone rested on a pillow next to her head.

  She jumped up punching wildly at no one as the phone rang the alarm in her subconscious mind. "I'm sorry. Please, I said I'm sorry." Dina sprung out of her bed after being jilted from her crazy nightmare. She was drenched in sweat and her heart was beating rapidly. She didn't bother to reach for the phone that was ringing, for she had just been through a life changing experience. God had come to her. He never had before, but she knew it was Him who brought her through the stages of her circumstances. Never before had a dream felt so real. She dropped down to her knees and begged God for forgiveness. She asked that He protect her children and watch over them for she would not be able to, at least not up close and personally, for a long time. For once in her life, she knew she had to do the right thing.

  Dina looked around her room and saw the blood stained walls. She felt the immediate need to free herself from all of the forms of sin that had engulfed her soul. She ran into the bathroom, grabbed a bucket, filled it with water and ammonia, got a scrub brush and got busy ridding the walls of their demonic stains.

  The constant ringing of her cell phone wasn't enough to shake her free from the spiritual daze she was in. She continued cleaning her apartment. After she was done, Dina went into her bathroom and engaged herself in the hottest shower she had ever taken in her life. She scrubbed away years of inner hurt and pain and feelings of unworthiness. A new woman came out of that shower and she was ready to face her demons head on.

  ***

  "You mean to tell me my fiancé is locked up in the city jail?" Cannon's voice went up an octave. The officer standing in the doorway of his home was confirming the suspicions about Denise and Dina that had been swirling around in Cannon's head. He knew there was something different about the woman he thought was Denise. She just didn't have the same demeanor.

  That would explain why she didn't come home last night, Cannon thought.

  "Yes, Denise Stewart, your fiancé, the twin sister of Dina Stewart, is being held in the city jail. She's been there since Saturday night. They believe she's Dina," Smitty said.

  "How in the world did this happen?"

  "Now that, I'm still not one hundred percent clear on, but what I do know is that she may be seeing the judge any minute now, and we need to get down there and speak on her behalf, or she's going to jail."

  "Where's Dina?" Cannon asked, swallowing the bitter pill that he had been intimate with his fiancé's twin sis- ter. He had no choice other than to face the unwelcome fact, being that Smitty had just confirmed that Denise was in jail at the time he thought she was in bed with him.

  "I'm not one hundred percent clear on that either," Smitty admitted.

  "Well, someone had better get one hundred percent clear on why an innocent woman with no arrest record is sitting in the city jail or they'll be paying with their jobs."

  Smitty recognized the love connection between Cannon and Denise instantly once Cannon started his "Fight the Power" routine in regards to Denise's incarceration.

  Cannon became infuriated. He was mostly angry at himself for not knowing his fiancé as well as he thought he did. It was like that
horrible episode of The Bachelor when the bachelor's twin pretended to be him and some of the women were clueless. How could he not have known who the woman in his bed was? He felt guilty for sleeping with Dina. He felt guiltier for enjoying her as much as he did. What would he tell Denise? Should he tell her anything? He could always deny it if Dina ever told. He thought about Denise's phone call to the house as he had laid there entangled in her sister's web of sin.

  Smitty broke Cannon's concentration. "Look, how about you come on down to the courts with me and save some of that for the judge? Maybe we can get her out."

  The two men emerged from the driveway in Smitty's police car and headed downtown.

  "Calling all cars in the vicinity of Essex Village," a voice said through Smitty's patrol car radio, "a fugitive previously believed to already be in police custody has once again been spotted. Dina Stewart, also known as Queen D, was seen entering her apartment. She's believed to be armed and extremely dangerous. Proceed with caution."

  Knowing that they couldn't show up at Denise's court hearing with better proof than the real Dina Stewart, Smitty and Cannon looked one another in the eye as Smitty made a U-turn to head to Essex Village.