by Honest Lee
With Ace Agent Agency’s help, Ethan arranged a series of stunts, each bigger than the next.
First, he went down the highest roller coaster in the world—in his wheelchair. Next, he jumped over twenty cars and through twelve hoops of fire—in his wheelchair. After that, he walked a tightrope between two skyscrapers, eighty stories up—in his wheelchair.
Finally, he jumped out of a plane over Mount Everest in a wingsuit (you know, those things that make people look like they’re flying squirrels) and flew all the way down to the base of the mountain, where he landed gracefully—in his wheelchair.
People all over the world watched Ethan’s videos. They clapped and cheered and sent him emails asking how he did it. People made T-shirts and asked for his autograph. The whole time, Ethan was in his head, wondering if he’d made the right choice. After all, being a daredevil stuntman was cool, but playing basketball was even cooler.
“I guess you proved me wrong,” Lucy said. “Good job. Looks like we’re going to be in business together for a long time. What do you want to do next?”
“Continue proving you wrong,” Ethan said. “Let’s go play basketball.”
CHAPTER 13
Classroom 13
For some odd reason, Lucy LaRoux, famous agent of Ace Agent Agency, didn’t even consider representing Classroom 13. The 13th Classroom tried to speak up and say it wanted to be famous, but the students (as usual) were being far too loud.
Filled with jealousy and rage, the 13th Classroom vowed revenge (for the third time) on all of Ms. Linda’s students and also that terrible Lucy LaRoux.…
CHAPTER 14
Ximena
As Lucy looked for her next victim client, she found Ximena sitting at her desk quietly sketching flowers.
“What do you want to be famous for?” Lucy asked. “What’s your talent?”
“I don’t have any talent,” Ximena said. (Which was a silly thing to say, as every child is good at something, whether they know it or not.)
“Everyone has something that can be exploited used,” Lucy said. “For instance, your art. Let me see those sketches.…”
“I like to draw flowers,” Ximena said as Lucy flipped through her sketchbook. Each and every page was covered in sketches of flowers.
“I’ve seen enough,” Lucy said. “You’re coming to New York City with me. Time for the modern art world to meet their newest sensation: Ximena!”
Once Ximena got to New York City, Lucy put her up in a studio and told her to draw until she couldn’t feel her hand. And that’s exactly what Ximena did. She drew big flowers and small flowers. She sketched fat flowers and skinny flowers. She painted bright flowers and dark flowers.
After only a week, she’d made thousands of pictures of flowers. Lucy LaRoux framed them and put them up in a gallery. They were going to have the biggest art opening ever.…
Ahem. Can I interrupt the story for a second? Believe it or not, your ol’ pal Honest Lee here has been to a few art openings and knows a thing or two about the snooty art world. Let me explain how it works for you:
There is free cheese at art openings. Eat as much as you want. There’s always more. Don’t let them tell you otherwise. Even if they say, “Honest Lee, leave some for the other patrons!” Eat all you want. Cheese is awesome—unless of course you’re lactose intolerant.
It was Ximena’s big night, so she wore her favorite flower dress, which her abuela had made for her. She only expected maybe twenty people to show up for her show. Instead, hundreds came! There was a line out the door of people trying to get in. The art world loved her flowers. And, more important, they loved Ximena.
“She’s so nice,” they said.
“And easy to talk to,” others said.
“And her art? The flowers are more real than… real flowers!”
Millionaires paid millions for her artistic renderings of flowers. “I can’t even tell what kind of flower this is,” one rich man said, “which means it’s obviously the best and I need to buy it at any cost.”
“Sold!” Lucy shouted, counting the piles of cash.
Yes, art types and critics alike loved Ximena’s portraits of flowers. She was the newest artist of her age, and the best part was, this was only the beginning.
The next day, Lucy said, “Okay, things in the art world are always moving and changing, so what are you going to draw next?”
“More flowers, I guess,” Ximena said. “That’s all I know how to draw.”
“Surely you can do more than just flowers,” Lucy said. “Try to draw a person. Or a puppy. Or some stars!” Ximena drew a person, a puppy, and some stars. But they all looked like flowers.
“Try a robot, or a cowboy, or some skulls!” Lucy said. Ximena drew a robot, a cowboy, and some skulls. They all looked like flowers, too.
“Try a house, or an ocean, or some saltine crackers!” Ximena drew a house, an ocean, and some saltine crackers. They, too, all looked like flowers.
“I give up,” Lucy said.
“Oh, I can do kittens!” Ximena said.
“Yes, do that!”
Ximena drew a kitten, but it looked like a flower, too.
“If you can’t draw anything else, your art career is over,” Lucy said. Ximena shrugged. She didn’t mind. She really liked drawing flowers.
CHAPTER 15
Hugo
Bien qu’Hugo était français, il avait toujours adoré la musique country américaine. Cette musique parlait de courage, de grand amour et aussi de barbecue, qu’il adorait. Ses chanteurs préférés venaient du Texas, d’Alabama et de Géorgie. Et il pensait que les vieux westerns étaient les meilleurs films.
Alors, lorsqu’il a pu essayer de devenir célèbre, il a tout de suite su ce qu’il voulait être : un chanteur de country! Hugo jouait de la guitare et écrivait des chansons depuis qu’il avait cinq ans. Cela impressionna Lucy, qui le mit sur la scène du Grand Ole Opry à Nashville dans le Tennessee. Malheureusement, comme toutes les chansons d’Hugo étaient en français, personne ne pouvait comprendre le moindre mot de ce qu’il chantait.
CHAPTER 16
Ava
“And what are you good at?” Lucy asked Ava.
“Well, I’m a really good friend, and I like animals, and I play tennis really good—” Ava started.
“Well,” Ms. Linda corrected. “You don’t play good, you play well.”
“Right,” Ava said. “I play well. Weller than most. I’m the wellest at tennis.”
“That’s not grammatically correct,” Ms. Linda said.
“Who cares about grammar?” Lucy said. “Can’t you see this kid is going to be a famous tennis player?!”
The next thing Ava knew, she was playing at the Australian Open in Melbourne. It turns out Ava really was the wellest at tennis. She beat everyone in the outback—even a kangaroo.
She was exhausted. (She hated naps, but for the first time in her life, she really wanted nothing more than to take one.)
After that, Ava flew to the French Open in Paris. She’d never been to Paris before, and she couldn’t wait to see the Louvre museum. She played game after game—and won each time. “Can I go see the Louvre now?” Ava asked after she won first place.
“Not right now,” Lucy said. “You need to keep playing tennis if you want to be famous for it.”
Ava flew to the US Open in New York City. Ava’s uncles lived there, and the rest of the family came to see her. Everyone was excited to have a family reunion. “You can see them after you win,” Lucy said. So Ava played and played and played. Once again, she won first place.
But Lucy had a plane waiting for her. “You’ll have to see your family next time. You got an invitation to play in the Wimbledon Championships in London. You can’t say no!”
Ava felt terrible. “I miss my family and I’m tired of playing tennis.”
“Do you want to be known as the world’s wellest tennis player?” Lucy asked.
“Yeah, I think so,” Ava answered, now unsure.
<
br /> “Then you have to keep playing.”
Ava flew to London. There, she beat every famous tennis player, male and female, in the whole world. But before they gave her the title of the Wellest Tennis Player in the Whole World, one more person wanted to play her—the queen of England!
“I can’t beat the queen in tennis!” Ava said, thinking of her own lovely grandmother Shirley. “That would be rude!”
“Don’t you want to be famous?!” Lucy shouted.
Ava thought about it. She really did like tennis, but maybe it wasn’t worth embarrassing the queen of England. Plus, she missed her family, especially her cousins—Angelina, Siena, Sophia, Taylor, and Morgan. Ava was surprised to find she even missed her brother.
“I’m done with fame,” Ava said. She handed her tennis racket to Lucy and went home.
CHAPTER 17
William
Lucy LaRoux was a Hollywood agent. That meant she usually judged people based purely on looks. So when she saw William Wilhelm, she said, “Puny, short, wears glasses… you must be the class genius!”
“What? Who? Me?” William said. “Nope!”
“Yeah, we’ll get you on some game shows!” Lucy said, ignoring him. “You’ll solve math problems, or answer trivia questions, or spell big words no one’s ever heard of, or… What’s wrong? You look confused. I thought that didn’t happen to smart people.”
“That’s because I’m not the smartest kid in class,” William explained.
“That’d be me.” Mason waved. “F-a-r-t, that spells ‘smart’!”
“It does not,” Olivia said. “Actually, I’m the smart one in this class. Possibly the only one.” Olivia went back to doing long division—for fun.
“So what do you want to be famous for?” Lucy asked William.
“I want to be a famous rapper,” William said.
Now it was Lucy who looked confused. She shrugged. “Okay, MC Willy, show me what you got.”
William picked up a pencil, pretending it was a mic. He turned his hat sideways and did his rap:
“Yo, yo, yo!
My name is Willy,
and I’d like to say,
“I am a student in school,
in the Classroom THIRTEEN!
“Boom!” MC Willy William said. He dropped his pretend mic to the floor. No one applauded.
“You do realize raps are supposed to rhyme, right?” Lucy said.
Confused, William scratched his head. “They are?”
CHAPTER 18
Emma
When it was Emma’s turn, something very strange happened. Lucy couldn’t find her talent contracts, or her pen, or her purse. They had all vanished into thin air.
“I’ve been robbed!” Lucy screamed.
But as Lucy was about to have a panic attack, Emma revealed each of the missing items—by pulling them out of a top hat.
“Ta-da!” Emma said with a smile.
The room burst into applause.
“Bravo!” Mason shouted. “B-a-r-f, that spells ‘bravo’!”
“No it doesn’t.” Olivia rolled her eyes.
Emma put the top hat on and took a small bow for Lucy. “I want to be a famous magician. I already know five good tricks, my assistant works for free, and I’m okay to travel coach to save on expenses.”
And that’s how the Emm-azing Emma was born. The Ace Agent Agency booked her at birthday parties and small theaters to see how well she’d perform. Emma nailed every show, wowing the audience with her five unbelievable illusions:
Trick 1: Emma could pull animals out of her hat. First, a rabbit. Then a bald eagle. And finally a lion. “Abracadabra!”
Trick 2: Emma could change stuffed animals into real animals. First, a bear. Then a giraffe. And finally a tiger. “Alakazam!”
Trick 3: Emma could blow bubbles through her fingers. Then she could make them into balloon animals. They were usually cats. “Sim-sala-bim-cat!”
Trick 4: Emma could remove her own head and bounce it on her arms. This usually made someone in the crowd faint. “Shazam!”
Trick 5: Emma could use her wand to make someone in the audience levitate—which means to rise or hover in the air. “Hocus-pocus!”
The Emm-azing Emma’s popularity grew fast. Before she knew it, she was performing a SOLD-OUT show in Madison Square Garden. But before her show, a group of six strange adults walked into her dressing room.
“Who are you?” Emma asked.
“We are the secretive Magicka Society, a community of professional illusionists,” said the short, squat man in a purple cape.
“We have seen your shows and would like you to join us,” said a tall, thin woman who wore a red velvet cape.
“All you need to do is to tell us how you do your magic,” said a rather large man wearing a cape of gold sequins.
“I’d love to join,” Emma said. “I don’t mind sharing, but there’s nothing to share. It’s just magic.”
The Magicka Society didn’t believe her. “Are you using mirrors to trick our eyes so that it looks like your head is off your shoulders?” one magician asked.
“It’s a hologram! You’re using computer and camera equipment! I saw a news story about this. With my mom. Who I still live with!” said another.
“No, no, no, you fools! It’s a puppet! She uses a series of pulleys and strings to create her illusions!” said a third magician.
“Nope, nope, nope,” Emma said. “It’s just magic. Here, I can prove it!”
With a wave of her hand, the Emm-azing Emma poofed into a cloud of smoke, then reappeared on top of the large magician with a funny mustache. She took off her head and handed it to him.
“See? No mirrors, no computers, no strings,” Emma’s head said.
The society members freaked out, tossing her head from one to the other. Emma finally caught her head and put it back on.
“No fair!” the mustached magician said. “You’re using real magic! You’re a… a… a… WITCH!”
With torches, the six strange adults chased Emma onto the stage. “She’s a witch! A witch!” they shouted to the crowd.
“Boo!” the crowd hissed. Apparently, people like fake magic. Not real magic. The Emm-azing Emma’s professional magic career was over.
A single tear ran down Emma’s cheek. Then she hopped on a broom with her rabbit and flew away.
CHAPTER 19
Liam
Lucy sniffed something and felt sick. She held her nose and waved away a fart cloud. “Did you do that?” Lucy asked.
“Guilty as charged,” Liam said, tipping his Viking helmet to her. Liam stood there with a devilish grin and a milk mustache above his lip.
“I’ll work with you, but you can’t fart around me,” Lucy said. “Understood?”
“Works for me. I may be able to fart the national anthem, but I don’t want to be famous for farts. I’ve broken records, I’ve come back from the dead, and I used to breathe underwater. Everybody thinks they know what I’m going to do next, but I’m ready to shock them. Let’s aim higher, like two hundred stories higher.”
“Where are you going with this?” Lucy asked, already bored.
“Straight to the top of the world’s tallest diving board, woman! And I’m taking the whole world with me!”
The stunt made national news. They showed images of a diving board two hundred stories in the air. On the ground was a swimming pool full of chocolate pudding. News reporters hovered, talking to their viewers like they were about to witness the greatest event in the history of humankind.
“In just a few short minutes, local legend Liam Lancaster, a young man who refuses to remove his Viking helmet, will attempt the impossible! A two-hundred-story belly flop into a pool of chocolate pudding! Will he survive?!”
“Absolutely,” Liam said, starting his climb up the ladder. The first twenty stories were easy enough. He turned and flexed for the cameras, then waved to family and friends.
But by the time Liam reached fifty stories up, he b
egan to feel nauseous. Maybe eating all those corn dogs right before wasn’t the best idea. Liam tried to shake it off and kept climbing.
One thousand feet… one thousand five hundred feet… two thousand feet… the people looked like ants… and then smaller than ants… and then he couldn’t see them.
As someone who rode roller coasters every chance he got, Liam never thought he’d be afraid of heights. But now the air was thinning at this height. The worst part was his hands wouldn’t stop sweating. He had to be careful climbing the ladder.
When Liam finally reached the diving board, he clung to the rail. Then he looked down. Big mistake. The world was so far away. His knees knocked together. From the ground, people looked up with binoculars. It looked like Liam was doing a funny dance on purpose, but he wasn’t. Liam was afraid.
Liam looked over the edge of the diving board. If he misjudged the angle of the belly flop, he’d be a pancake, and not the tasty kind. “I regret this decision!” he shouted to the wind.
Liam couldn’t do it. It was just too… terrifying. He turned around to climb back down the ladder, just as a strong gust of wind blew his Viking helmet off his head! When he reached for it, he slipped.
Liam was now free-falling two hundred stories straight down!
As he fell, his life flashed before his eyes: It was just a series of wonderful, hilarious farts. Maybe he should go back to farts.…
The ground got closer and closer… two thousand feet… one thousand five hundred feet… one thousand feet… five hundred feet…
Liam said his prayers. That’s when the Emm-azing Emma—Classroom 13’s only witch—flew straight toward him on her broom. Just as Liam was about to crash into the ground, Emma swooped in and caught Liam (and his Viking helmet). As they landed safely on the ground, Liam fainted—then farted.
