by Nichelle Rae
“You can’t—”
“Now!” I screamed, making her jump again. She looked at me with wide eyes. Her shocked silence only encouraged me. “You know, it’s no wonder Azrel is having such a hard time accepting you and her magic. She can probably sense what a wretched bitch you are.” Everyone gasped and she stared at me dumbfounded. “In my opinion,” I said, taking a step closer to her, “Azrel is more of a warrior than you’ll ever be.” I glared hatefully into those white eyes so she would feel it in her bones. “You keep having your little gatherings in my sister’s head and keep barking out your orders. But doing that doesn’t make you a warrior; it makes you a bully.” She flinched. “When you’ve walked a mile—hell, even a half a mile—in Azrel’s shoes, you let me know. Then I might be able to call you a warrior.”
Before I even knew it, I was reaching into that deep core of my soul where my magic was and I plunged my conscious deeper into it than I’d ever gone before. My eyes snapped open a moment later and I looked around. I was back outside in the clearing.
I slowly sat up, expecting to be in pain from passing out in some awkward position, but I found myself comfortably settled into my sleeping roll with a blanket over me. When I looked around the camp, my heart fell into the pit of my stomach. Everyone had been moved away from the fire pit where we’d all fallen, and had been put comfortably into our sleeping rolls. The fire had been extinguished and even all of our boots were off. Azrel, who apparently didn’t need to sleep any more when meetings were held, must have moved each of us into our beds, taken our boots off, put a pillow under our heads, and covered us up.
Without warning I started bawling. I looked at my sister asleep in her own bed roll and I just cried. I bawled so hard that corners of my mouth went down tightly and tears dripped off my chin like a rainfall. I could only bow my face into my hands and sob. I don’t think I ever cried so hard in my life. My sobs were deep and endless, my face and palms completely soaked. How could my sister be so easy to hate when she so deeply cared for others? How could she so easily be thought worthless, when she thought the world of everyone else except herself? My shoulders trembled violently with every rapid sob I sucked in.
After I managed to catch my breath a little, I got out of my sleeping roll and went over to my sister. I gently lifted her blanket and crawled in behind her, wrapping both my arms tightly around her. I kissed the back of her head as a few more of my tears fell into her hair. “I’m so sorry, Azrel,” I whispered, thinking about Acalith, Lisswilla, Reese and Addredoc just sitting by while the White Warrior verbally brutalized my sister. I pulled Azrel a little closer to me. “It seems we are on our own.”
Chapter Fifteen
Azrel
I woke up as the first dull light rested on my face. I couldn’t believe I’d managed to sleep again. After sleeping eighteen hours straight yesterday, I hadn’t thought I would. But I’d suddenly gotten very tired when everyone else had passed out, and I’d fallen asleep again with ease. I suppose it was good. I hadn’t slept much lately.
My eyes opened to a light gray day. It looked like it might sprinkle some rain this morning. I started to stretch, but something stopped me. I paused mid-stretch and noticed an arm draped over my side. I looked down at my pillow and saw another arm resting under it. I rolled over onto my back, wondering who it could be, and saw Rabryn’s fair Salynn face asleep. I smiled, then turned onto my opposite side so I was facing him.
I recalled the tidbit of information about Rabryn’s father and mine not only knowing each other but also being great companions. Our fathers. It was just too neat to think about. Maybe Derweldo didn’t really hate me. Perhaps he’d wanted to just keep a protective eye on his friend’s daughter. Rabryn loved the idea that our fathers were good friends, and it made me feel good too. My father’s Deralilya’s son was lying in front of me right now. It was almost like having Derweldo here himself, which was almost like having my father here.
I kissed the tip of my brother’s nose, only to accidentally wake him up. He took in a deep breath and stirred. He started to arch his back, preparing to stretch, when he stopped, suddenly realizing that I was awake. “Hey,” he said in a groggy voice and finished the stretch.
I smiled. “What are you doing over here?” His body relaxed with a heavy sigh. “We stopped sharing a bed years ago.”
I meant for that to be funny, but he sighed. “I needed to be with you last night.”
My smile faded and I propped myself up onto my elbow to look down at him. “You’re sad. What happened?”
He met my eyes, then propped himself up on his elbow and leaned in to kiss my lips gently. “Azrel, you are a wonderful person, do you know that?”
“What’s wrong?” I asked getting very uneasy.
“You know that in your heart, don’t you?”
I paused. I’d never really considered myself a good person. But at least compared to Hathum, I was. “I guess so.”
He sighed as he pushed himself higher, resting his weight on his palm. I pushed myself up to keep my face level with his so as not to lose sight of his eyes. He looked at me intensely. “Azrel, I don’t know how this whole you-and-the-White-Warrior-being-two-separate-people thing works.” His lips became a thin white line, “But if and when the time comes that you two become one person…” He paused, worry flooding his features as his fingertips touched my cheek. “Don’t be more like the White Warrior. It would do her some good if she was more like you.”
“You were all pulled into a meeting with her?” Rabryn nodded. I looked at him,. “I wasn’t sure because I didn’t pass out. Usually I need to sleep when she holds those meetings.”
“The window separating you two must have opened a little more. You both are becoming stronger together, and you may not need to sleep anymore in order for her to conduct the meetings.”
I sighed again and slumped in defeat. “I had a feeling she wouldn’t keep her word. I wasn’t going to fret about it, but if she’s got you upset, I will.”
“I didn’t stay very long,” he said bitterly as he looked away and dropped down onto his elbow again. He slightly turned his face towards me with his brows drawn. “What do you mean you had a feeling she wouldn’t keep her word?”
“She’s talking to me now.” His brows went up with interest. “That was one thing I was going to discuss with you all last night if she hadn’t yanked you comatose.”
“Go ahead.”
“Well, in Rocksheloc while I was having my breakdown, the White Warrior spoke to me for the first time. She calmed me down and reasoned everything out for me. I think it still takes a great amount of her energy because she doesn’t talk to me that often. But she promised she wouldn’t do anything else behind my back, like yanking you all into a meeting with her, as long as I didn’t lose my head again like I did in Rocksheloc.
“It was keeping my promise to her that let me hear your explanation about Cluna. I was about to lose my head when I thought you murdered her in cold-blood.” I shrugged helplessly. “But when I found out that my father sent me to The Pitt knowing what was going to happen to me, I broke my promise. I guess she figured that if I didn’t keep my word then she didn’t have to keep hers.”
I looked up at him and saw him gazing out over the clearing in thought. I wanted to ask him why the White Warrior had him so upset, and what the big emergency was for which she’d pulled everyone unconscious, but I had something more pressing I needed to talk to him about.
“There was something more important I wanted to discuss with everyone last night though. Maybe you can help me with it.”
He shifted his eyes to me, his lips pursed and his brows raised with interest. I sat up fully with my legs crossed and arranged the blanket more snugly around us. I thought about how to put this without confusing him. “Okay, Welptacks,” I began, “those monsters don’t talk to their prey. They hunt just like any wild animal hunts; they stalk and then ambush. I heard Ortheldo talking to them as I was running through the woods to get t
o you all.”
Rabryn’s brows dropped. “Ortheldo was also baffled as to why they were having any kind of a conversation with us.”
“Tell me everything that happened before I got there.”
Rabryn went into the whole tale. What struck my interest was how Imbrul had looked frightened when Ortheldo had refused to give up the Anarran Gem. Why would that scare him? With the size of that pack he could have just taken it. I recalled Imbrul hiding in the woods as his entire pack committed suicide on Addredoc’s shield. Then he ran away with his tail between his legs?
“It doesn’t make any sense,” I said after voicing my concerns to Rabryn. “First of all, Welptacks hunt. They don’t talk, and then watch, and then run. Second of all, they have a good deal of common sense. They all saw how the pack fell to Addredoc’s magic shield, so why stop their attack once the shield was closed then suddenly jump on it a moment later, committing mass suicide?”
It was quiet for a moment. “Well, they only jumped at the shield after Ortheldo pulled the necklace out of his pocket to give it to you.”
I sat in thought a moment. “So seeing the necklace made them commit suicide?”
“Or they just couldn’t help but jump for the necklace, no matter what was in their way.”
“Okay, but why?”
He shrugged. “There might be more to this necklace than we’re aware of.”
I nodded. “Probably. Okay, a second thing has been bothering me. This one’s also pretty confusing.”
“I’m listening,” he said confidently.
I shook my head, wondering where this confidence came from. It wasn’t like him. “Alright.” I clasped my hands together and looked down. “When Reese and I set out after you, we came across an unnatural darkness on the second night that defeated even Reese’s Salynn eyes. It was the night we were attacked by the Gibirs. Did you encounter it?”
Rabryn shook his head. “We didn’t come across anything like that.”
I sighed. “I didn’t think so. Reese said he thought some evil magic was at work blinding us while the Gibirs attacked.” I tried to push away the distress of what that could mean; did Hathum know who I was? If not, where did the evil magic come from? If so, why hadn’t he attacked me openly yet? “I think Reese was right, because our battle with the Gibirs went very sour. The Gleo’gwyns had to come rescue us.”
Suddenly Rabryn’s brows dropped. “Wait, you were with the Gleo’gwyns recently, right?”
I nodded, confused by his confusion. “Yes, six days ago. I thought I told you all. I may have been too tired and just—”
“No you did,” he said, then looked out over the clearing thoughtfully. “Keep going.”
I wanted him to explain, but I needed to get these pressing thoughts out of my head first and have someone else ponder them. “Well, as strange as the black night was, the more disturbing thing was the next day with the Gorkor battle.” My brother’s eyes shifted to my face again. “Beldorn said that all evil would be drawn to the necklace, but the Gorkors we encountered were heading north, the exact opposite direction of where the necklace was.” My brother’s eyes got intense. “The necklace was heading south with you all and Ortheldo. What could have caused the Gorkors to head north?”
Again I had to push away the fear that Hathum had found me. What was he waiting for? If he knew who I was, what a perfect time to strike me down! I was incredibly vulnerable right now.
“Also,” I finished, “Yarin said that his Riders were accustomed to traveling days without rest, and I believe him because I know what they do for a living. Yet as the Gorkors attacked, his Riders were absolutely dead on their feet after only a day of riding. They were about in the same condition that Reese and I were when we met back up with you all.”
It was quiet for a few moments, Rabryn chewing on his bottom lip in thought. He got to his knees suddenly at the edge of my bed roll and started to pack it up, “That is certainly a lot of information to process. Let me think it over. I have”—he sighed then his lip curled—“some other issues I need to ponder as well.”
I nodded, still curious as to what had gotten him so upset with the White Warrior last night. He’d wanted to dismiss the subject too quickly. He’d always been a terrible liar and he couldn’t hide anything from me worth a flip.
“Would you mind waking the others?” he said. “I think I’ll vomit if I set sight on any one of them.”
“What?” Now he wasn’t just upset with The White Warrior, but was upset with everyone? I placed my hands on top of his to stop his packing of my bed. He didn’t even look up at me. “What happened last night, Rabryn?”
He held still for a moment and I thought he might answer me, but he quickly resumed packing my things. “Just remember what I told you when we first awoke.”
I watched him for a second and sighed. I knew better than to push my brother when he was in this kind of mood. It rarely ever happened, but when it did, he could be more stubborn than I was. I decided not to push him. He was already mad at everyone and I didn’t want to be added to that list.
I went around the camp and shook each person awake. “Time to go. Galad Kas is only a couple days away.”
As everyone started waking up, I wondered if they would be as unhappy as my brother. Sure enough, as each person awoke, there was a definite air of awkwardness. Rabryn wouldn’t look at anyone, but everyone stole a glance at Rabryn. The silence was deafening as everyone packed to leave.
Finally it was broken by my little buddy. “Good morning, Azrel!”
I smiled and got on my knees to hug him. “Good morning, sweetie.” I pulled away and looked into his face. “You excited about going home?”
His smile wilted. “I guess so, but it will feel funny without Mama.”
“I’m so sorry, honey.” I hugged him again. “You’ll be okay though.”
“I know I will, but I’m worried about leaving you. I love you.”
Here was another little boy who was able to say those words to me. “I love you too. But hey”—I pulled away and looked in his face—“we’re not saying bye yet. We still have a couple of days together before we get to Galad Kas.”
He grinned. “We do, don’t we?”
I smiled. “Come on. Let’s pack up. Grab your stuff and I’ll grab Rabryn’s.”
“Okay!” He happily got to work packing up his things as I packed Rabryn’s.
As I worked, I saw Ortheldo heading quickly over to my brother, who was putting my saddle on Forfirith. I pretended not to notice as I continued packing Rabryn’s things, but I did magically enhance my hearing.
“Thanks a lot for leaving me there!” Ortheldo whispered harshly.
Rabryn glanced at Ortheldo but kept his jaw set. “What happened after I left?” he asked bitterly, clearly not really caring what the answer was.
“Nothing, but everyone was shocked to hell that you were even able to leave.”
“Why?”
“I think the White Warrior’s protectors only leave when she lets them.”
“Well, I wasn’t about to stand there and listen to that crap another minute.”
“I gathered that, but I didn’t want to stay either.”
“Neither did I,” Reese suddenly said.
“Nor I,” Addredoc piped in as well.
“What?” Rabryn asked dumbfounded.
What in the world could have happened to get all four of them this upset? I chanced a glance up and saw all of them huddled over near Rabryn. Acalith and Lisswilla were meandering around, pointedly avoiding the rest of them, but being sure to cast angry glances in their direction.
“Rabryn look,” Addredoc began, “the White Warrior has been saying rotten things like that since she started calling these meetings.” He sighed, “It was only after we got to know Azrel that we stopped laughing.”
“Even the tiniest hint of bitterness in her tone got my blood boiling,” Reese said. “I lived Azrel’s past through her eyes when we first met so I know what she’s
been through, and to have the White Warrior talk about her like that…” His voice trailed off and he sighed angrily. After a quiet pause he began again gently. “Thank you for standing up for her. I can’t imagine how much courage you have in your heart to speak to the White Warrior that way.”
I heard Rabryn drop another saddle onto a horse’s back. “It had nothing to do with courage,” he replied. “It had everything to do with defending someone you love who is defenseless, regardless of any consequences.” It was quiet over there for a minute, except for Rabryn’s movement as he adjusted the saddle. “How are Acalith and Lisswilla feeling about this?”
“They’re not happy about it,” Ortheldo replied.
“Screw them,” Rabryn muttered as he pulled tight the buckle of the saddle he was working on.
I stared at the ground, paralyzed in shock. I had already stopped pretending to be packing Rabryn’s stuff. My brother had defended me in the face of the White Warrior. He’d stood up to the most powerful being in Casdanarus for me. Then another jolt of shock hit me. The White Warrior had said something bad about me. She didn’t like me.
Oddly, in that moment, I did the last thing I expected I would do. I started laughing. It started as a low airy giggle and then suddenly exploded into a violent, shaking laughter. I knew everyone was staring at me, but I couldn’t stop. I even fell flat on my back in the grass with tears running from the corners of my eyes. I couldn’t catch my breath.
“Azrel?” Rabryn asked, worried.
“I think she’s cracked,” Reese added.
I rolled onto my side, clutching my stomach as I tried to breathe and answer them. “The…the White Warrior,” I gasped in laughter. “She…she hates me!” Another explosion of laughter came out. “An element of who I am”—I still laughed—“can’t stand me!” I tried to breathe but failed. “And we’re on the brink of a Second Shadow!” The hilarity of it was more than I could stand. I hated myself enough, and now I knew she hated me too. “We’re all going to die!” We would never be one. I laughed for a few more moments, then finally sighed, trying to calm myself. “And you know what?” I smiled as I looked up at the sky. “I don’t care.”
