She paused, drew a deep breath, and half-turned to Nicole. “Now and then I dare to hope that Father and Mother might decide to return to England. Perhaps bring Grandfather Price back to the land of his birth. But I will not press for that. It must be of God if it is to be at all.”
Nicole felt her heart lurch. She wanted to cry aloud that she needed them there with her. Whatever would she do if Anne were to find some way to hold them here? But she halted the words before they formed, in time to hear Anne say, “And then I stop and remind myself that such thoughts are, well…”
Nicole murmured. “I confess to such selfishness myself.”
Anne pressed firmly down upon Nicole’s hand. “They are happy in Georgetown. Mother has never known any other life. She would be so distressed, lolling about a morning room. She has to be active, involved, helping those in need. And Father would find it impossible to return to life as a country squire. And Grandfather…I doubt he even claims England as his homeland any longer.”
Nicole felt herself relax.
“And what of you?” Anne asked. “Will you return to Louisiana?”
Nicole shook her head. “Not unless I feel a very clear and direct leading from the Lord,” she answered. “Some days I long for the bayous and the village. And especially for my folks. But I know I would not fit there now. Things have changed. I have changed.” She remained thoughtful for a while as the face of Jean Dupree flashed momentarily in her memory. She had not thought of him for many months. She soon dismissed the thought and went on. “Life does not stay the same for very long, and one cannot go back to how it used to be. No, I don’t suppose I shall ever return to Louisiana—at least not to stay. But as to my future, I expect there will be many changes ahead for me, things I cannot now sort through nor plan. Only God knows what they are to be.”
They sat in silence as the carriage jostled over the rutted roadway. They both knew that when the journey ended there would still be so much that had not been said. Yet it was becoming harder to find the words to express their feelings.
“You will give them my love?” Anne asked softly.
“Right along with my own,” Nicole replied.
“I do miss them.”
Nicole gave Anne a look of sisterly understanding. “I know that,” she whispered. “So do they.”
Anne nodded, willing to take to heart this spoken truth.
Chapter 34
Portsmouth was a town filled with clamor, sailors, and the briny taste of the sea. Charles sat with Judith and pointed out the great houses built by trade with the far-flung world, the ships at anchor, the bales and bundles of newly imported goods. A convoy had recently arrived from the Orient, signaled by tall stacks of cedar chests which gave off pungent fragrances of spice and tea.
The carriage clattered along the cobblestone quayside, halting by a group of seamen tying up a ship’s longboat. As Charles stepped from the carriage, a uniformed gentleman with bushy sideburns came forward and bowed. “A good afternoon to you, Lord Charles. Captain James Madden at your service.”
Charles grasped the man’s hand and wrung it gratefully. “What a pleasure it is to see you again, sir.” He turned to the woman emerging from the carriage. “May I present Mrs. Judith Mann, a relative by marriage and, I am delighted to say, a dear family friend.”
“An honor, Mrs. Mann.” Captain Madden bowed a second time, then gestured and said, “You remember my wife, perhaps.”
“Of course. A delight to greet you, madame.” Charles took note of her heavy travel garb and the bundles at her feet. “You don’t mean—”
“My younger daughter is with child, m’lord,” she explained proudly. “Word arrived with the same post as your request for a ship and formal escort for your niece. I intend to travel with my husband.”
Charles clapped the captain on the shoulder. “What glorious news! A finer escort for my niece I could not imagine.”
“If we make the tide this day and have a strong wind in our quarter, we might be there for the wondrous event,” Captain Madden declared.
“Give you joy!” Charles cried. “Give you great joy, and myself besides. I am positively delighted Nicole will be in such company for her voyage home.” He spun around at Nicole’s approach and said, “My dear, have you heard the wonderful news?”
Nicole curtsied. “It is indeed grand. I cannot think of a greater blessing upon the journey than to share it with such friends.”
Captain Madden doffed his hat again and said, “It is we who are honored, m’lady.”
“Indeed, ma’am.” Emily Madden’s smile was bright as the day. “I warrant I shall be offering you no more advice upon how to be a lady.”
“Advice such as yours will always be welcome,” Nicole said. “Always.”
The captain then signaled for his men to begin loading the trunks and bundles aboard the longboat. “We have less than an hour before the tide changes, m’lord. Best say your farewells now.”
Charles drifted back and observed as Nicole and Anne bid their tearful good-bye, fiercely embracing each other. The trip into Portsmouth and now the departure itself was proving a remarkable experience for Charles. All the emotions he would have expected to feel—anger, bitterness over his future, futility, defeat, disappointment with Nicole—none of these were present. Instead there was a peace so overpowering he wondered if it was a presage to his own death.
Judith moved alongside him and whispered, “Look how they cling together. It is hard to see where one girl ends and the other begins.”
“And not just here and now,” Charles murmured. “Young Crowley mentioned how they seemed as one spirit dwelling in two bodies. I could not agree more.”
Then Judith looked up at Charles. “Anne has shared with me what you have done. I was moved to tears.”
Charles glanced back at the woman and said, “Kind of you to say so.”
“I am not the one who is kind here, Lord Charles.” Her smile was so great and warm it revealed all the freshness that still resided in her, all the youth. “It is the gesture of a good man, the sort of which ballads should be sung and tales told for generations to hear and learn from.”
Charles felt his face get warm. “My lady, I am deeply touched.”
“As am I.” She started to reach for his arm, but stopped, for others were watching. “You make me feel as though there might yet be years left to live.”
He understood her words all too clearly. “I confess to having had the same thoughts upon our journey here.”
From beneath her bonnet, she cast him a gaze of such warmth Charles felt it in his boots. “Indeed,” she whispered.
“My lady, I have been married twice. Great unfortunate errors, the both of them. Done strictly for earthly gain, and the shame of these acts I shall carry all my days.” He grimaced. “And now, when the Lord has opened my eyes as to what a true union might hold, I find I am barred from knowing such gain.”
“Barred…” Judith realized her voice carried loudly. Softening her tone, she asked, “Barred how?”
“By ill health—my heart.”
To his astonishment, Judith laughed out loud. “My dear sir, please forgive me, but you are a fine figure of a man, with none of the signs one might expect of a coming demise.”
“Nonetheless, my lady, I could never ask anyone to take such a risk.”
This time the hand did indeed reach and rest on his arm. “Ah,” Judith said, smiling with her words, “but perhaps this lady is not asking.”
Nicole released Anne only so she might pick up John. She held the baby as long as she could. Baby John clearly realized something was happening, something that would leave him unhappy. So when Nicole handed him back to Anne, he expressed his disapproval in the loudest possible way. Finally Anne took him and her own tears back to the waiting coach.
Nicole felt hesitant about approaching her uncle. Her emotions were in such a topsy-turvy state, she had not an idea what she was feeling or why she was crying.
Capt
ain Madden could not contain his impatience any longer. From his position at the head of the longboat, he called, “Your pardon, m’lady, but the tide waits for no man!”
So Nicole stepped forward and said, “Uncle, I cannot begin…”
“Don’t even try, my dear Nicole.” Then Charles held her so close she could hear the irregular thumping of his heart. “All that lies between us goes far beyond the realm of words.”
Nicole placed her hand on his chest. “I leave my heart here with you, Uncle, so that it might help give strength and comfort to your own.”
“And I in turn offer you but one wish,” Charles said, taking her hand and walking her toward the waiting longboat. “That you live well. Live well and enjoy God’s many blessings.”
As soon as she was safely on board, the captain barked, “Shove off, there! Bosun, have the men lay heavy on the oars!”
Nicole remained standing at her seat amidships, watching as the rowers pulled them ever further from the quayside where the gathering was waving her off. She waved back and cried out her farewells till the longboat passed around another ship at anchor, when Nicole had no choice but to turn and look ahead. Yet she gazed past the vessel to which they were rowing and focused on the horizon instead.
Out beyond the harbor walls, dazzling pillars of sunlight broke through the clouds to settle on the white-capped sea. Nicole searched further still, wondering at what she was leaving behind, at what now lay ahead.
They made swift progress across the waves. As they pulled up alongside the waiting ship, the bosun’s chair was lowered. Emily Madden was the first to be lifted to the main deck. Scrambling up and down the rope ladders, the seamen were busy hefting bales and barrels and chests. Their actions were propelled by the rough cries coming from the captain and the officers on the quarterdeck. Even before Nicole set foot on deck, the sails were being unfurled, the anchor raised, the longboat secured. She stood as the ship gave way before the wind, heard the sails snap taut with the first press of the breeze, and watched as the people and houses lining the quayside turned gray as they intermingled with the sea mist and the distance.
To the wind and the future, Nicole whispered the question, “What is my destiny now?”
But there was no answer except the crying of gulls circling overhead. It seemed to Nicole that they sung the chant of her life, a voyage without end, bound by mystery and questions that would be answered only in God’s holy presence.
Then heavy feet marched across the foredeck and descended the stairs near where Nicole held the railing. She knew the sound meant an officer approached, for only officers wore leather boots. She dried her eyes and prepared herself to speak with Captain Madden.
But when she turned, instead of facing the captain, she stared blankly at a tall, dashing officer with copper-blond hair and a slash mark under his right eye. He doffed his hat, bowed deeply, and said, “Forgive me for not being here to greet you upon your arrival, my lady. But all haste was required to make the tide.”
“Captain Goodwind,” she said, “what a nice surprise.”
“Captain Madden requested that I accompany him on this voyage,” Gordon Goodwind explained. “He and his wife are uncertain how long they will remain in the colonies, and such a ship as this must be kept busy.” He hesitated, then added, “When I learned who was to accompany us, I was genuinely delighted.”
Nicole felt a warmness spreading over her cheeks and neck. She could not recall feeling thus for ages, not since departing from Louisiana. It left her feeling almost shy as she said, “I shall eagerly await your company at dinner, sir.”
For some reason, her words brought a similar flush to Goodwind’s strong features. He bowed again, lower this time, and said, “Your servant, my lady.”
Nicole watched him as he returned to his station on the foredeck. She then turned back toward the sea, while the ship passed the harbor’s final rocky promontory on which rose a tall, white watchtower. Behind her, Captain Goodwind bellowed a string of orders. The ship made a graceful turning about, beating upwind. Footsteps raced across the main deck, and more sails opened with snapping force.
Nicole used her hand to brush the hair from her face, then lowered the hand to rest it on her chest. Strange that her heart would trip in time to the racing sailors. Stranger still was how she could stand there, so full of sorrow over having just left her loved ones behind, yet now thrilled by what lay ahead.
Chapter 35
The same startling peace followed Charles throughout the journey home. And although the questions that had carried him across the Atlantic in search of his brother still remained unanswered, somehow it did not matter any longer. The questions that mattered to him now had changed beyond all recognition.
He sat alone on his side of the carriage, with Anne and John and Judith sitting across from him. They sensed his thoughtful isolation and granted him as much silence as John would allow. For if there was anything the youngster loved as much as horses, it was Charles’s carriage. John stood by the open window, bouncing up and down in Anne’s careful grasp, blurting out in his own language at everything that caught his eye. The boy’s excitement filled the carriage. Charles watched him with a smile, sighing contentedly as he reflected on how he’d reached a very special juncture. For even though nothing had been resolved, still everything was settled. Though he might face the dissolution of his estate and titles following his imminent demise, he honestly felt he could finally let go and die in peace. Whatever the future held, however short his remaining days, Charles felt he was ready. He welcomed the future as never before.
Judith looked over at him, and his smile tinged with a fond regret. It would have been so wonderful to come to know this fine woman better. Indeed, for the first time in many years he could consider the prospect of marriage with some genuine desire. But he turned away from her playful eyes as he reminded himself there was not sufficient time left for a budding romance.
Despite this, Judith was unwilling to release him so easily. “It is remarkable, Sir Charles, how the bonds of generations have brought us together.”
“Indeed so, ma’am.” Charles was glad for the reason to turn back to her. Judith Mann was not only pleasant to look at, he also found in her countenance all that his two earlier marriages had lacked. He was then hit with piercing regret over the many mistakes he’d made during his lost and wandering years. The neglected opportunities, the false paths. “Yes, I count it a great blessing that my niece had the wisdom to marry herself into your family.”
Anne glanced over from her dutiful attending of the bouncing John long enough to reward Charles with a look from the heart. Then she turned back to the boy and said, “Yes, that’s right, John. Many, many birds.”
“I count it a godsend to call Anne my friend and daughter,” Judith replied. “But that is not of what I speak.”
“No?”
Her smile turned anxious. “I hope you will forgive me for divulging secrets, Sir Charles.”
He felt a sudden drumming through his body, as if the road had risen to shake his very soul. “I am not certain I follow you, ma’am.”
“There is in fact a second miracle that intertwines our families.” She then looked at Anne and said, “Ever since our first meeting I have wondered if I should mention this, and now I find I can withhold the secret no longer.”
Charles leaned forward slightly. For some reason, he was finding it hard to breathe now. “What secret is that, ma’am?”
“The secret of our shared heritage,” Judith said. “You see, my mother was your father’s half sister.”
Charles felt as though he’d been blasted back into his seat. He worked his mouth, yet could not speak.
It was Anne, wide-eyed with shock, who managed to ask, “They were what?”
“Siblings,” she confirmed, looking pleased over the response to her words. “Sir Charles, your grandfather had two wives. The first died young, giving birth to my mother. The old earl then remarried, and eleven years later, his
second wife gave birth to your father. My mother had long before this time fallen in love with a Welshman, a gentleman far below her station. Your grandfather was by all accounts a most domineering man and vengeful when crossed. My mother ran away to wed the man of her heart, and your grandfather never permitted her name to be spoken of again.”
In reflex to his thundering heart, Charles reached up to massage his chest. It only added to his astonishment to discover that his heart was not hurting him.
“I fear my mother carried a good deal of your grandfather’s same force of character,” Judith continued, “for it was only when my mother lay on her deathbed that she shared with me the secret. How we were related by marriage to one of England’s wealthiest scions. She asked me to guard this mystery well—which I have.”
“Good woman!” Charles finally managed to gasp. “Do you have any idea what you are saying?”
In reply, Judith turned to Anne and said, “Naturally, when you and Cyril wed, I had no earthly idea who was your adoptive father’s brother. It would not have occurred to me in a dozen centuries. Only when you wrote and told me of your visit and where you were staying did I then realize. It gave me such a start, I cannot begin to tell you.”
“Gave you a start!” Charles laughed out loud. He lifted his cane and hammered hard on the wall that separated them from the driver. “My dear Mrs. Mann, gave you a start!”
As the carriage slowed down, Judith’s expression showed her worry. “Oh, I do hope I haven’t done anything wrong in sharing this secret with you both.”
“Wrong? Wrong!” Charles leaned out the window and shouted up to the driver, “Is there a lay-by ahead?”
“We’re at the outskirts of a village, m’lord. There must be a place for watering.”
“Then pull in and turn this carriage around!”
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