by Jamie Hawke
“What the fuck is this place?” I asked, confused, pushing on to the door at the far end.
“Who’re you talking to, boy?” a large man said, stepping in front of me. His eyes lit up with fire, and I stumbled back. Maybe if you were used to someone’s eyes igniting into flames you wouldn’t have been so scared, but I’d never seen anything like this before. For me, the craziest experience I’d ever had was watching Letha tear open a man on that show Planet Kill, or maybe the time Fireshot had gone up against the other offshoot of Mantis, and had her head torn off by barbed wire. That shit was disgusting, but hard not to watch. Hell, not a person I knew back on Earth didn’t tune in to PK, but even with all of the badassery there—and it was all real, mind you—nobody had fucking eyes of fire!
“Didn’t we tell you to not talk to us?” the voice in my head said as I skidded to a stop to avoid this guy. “Want to check out this guy, just think it.”
“What cell you come from?” the large man asked, eyeing me like a pork chop. “You don’t look so familiar.”
In response to my curiosity, that stats window popped up again and read: Moniker: Drakonis. Status: Supervillain, imprisoned. Special Powers: Fire, Healing. Notes: Big ass dude. Run
“One more time, boy,” the man said, and then his head lit up. It wasn’t just a glow, it was fire emerging from his nostrils, mouth, ears, and then consuming his flesh and all, and he charged me like a flaming bull.
I turned back the way I’d come, screaming like a little girl, and stumbled right into the two who were fucking. I swear something hard brushed against my arm as I tossed them behind me, hoping it was a weapon and not his dick, and then I darted into the doorway past them.
A glance back showed the large man trying to stop, but it was too late. The attack meant for me caught the dude with his dick out, the latter bursting into flames. He shouted in rage, ran over the edge, and wings sprouted from his back as he flung himself over. Not that it did him any good to have wings, he was still on fire. He took off into the air until he hit the next walkway up, head first, and fell. And fell. And fell.
Finally… thud. Distant, deep below.
All of that chaos from a moment before—all the cheering, roaring, shouting—it all stopped at this, followed by a horrible moment of silence. The woman turned to me as the fire vanished from the big guy’s face. Her eyes didn’t turn to fire, but they might as well have with the horror and hatred piercing me.
A quick glance brought up the screen, and I saw her name was Chains, but then I was interrupted by the voice in my head shouting, “GO!”
I was off, not daring to risk another look back.
“We’re going to pull out your entrails slowly and eat your fucking skin off while you watch, you piece of shit!” the woman’s voice rang through the halls, joined by more cheers and more shouts about crazy things she would do to my balls, something about my anus, and then more threats from others too, who seemed to be joining in for the sake of it, not even knowing what had happened.
I wasn’t even really sure what had happened.
“These are the criminals?” I asked, whispering between breaths and hoping I’d be heard.
“All supervillains, all locked up for horrible crimes.”
“And why the fuck can’t you save this place, or stop them, or whatever it is you’re asking me to do? What about all of the other superheroes? Where are you during this mess?”
“I didn’t want to tell you yet. It… might scare you.”
“The hell? You don’t think this is scaring me?” I shouted, forgetting myself, only then realizing I had no idea where I was going.
“Turn right, next door.” The voice was silent, then added, “We can’t help, we have to rely on you for this, and are calling on other heroes for other missions.”
“And you’re going to tell me why?”
“If you’d shut up and listen,” the voice said. “The why is very simple—because we’re dying. We were a group of superheroes sworn to protect the galaxy from the villains, to ensure they didn’t escape into the other galaxies or come back to Earth, where we all originally came from. But one villain escaped, not from here, but somewhere far worse. He’s made a move against the Citadel, the building on our planet that amplifies our powers. In our last act of defense, we were able to keep him from taking it, by sacrificing ourselves. The result will be a new round of heroes, a new round of protectors. We’re hoping you’ll be one of them.”
I just ran. What does someone say to something like that? For the next few minutes, I followed orders until finally, I came to a normal walkway—one that was carpeted and clearly hadn’t been a prisoner area before this.
That’s when it really hit me, because not only did I see the fluorescent planet from earlier, I saw a fleet of ships, more planets beyond them, asteroids floating, and in the far distance there was the unmistakable sight of the Milky Way. Holy hell, this was definitely not Earth or the prison I was meant to be in.
The only logical explanation was that I wasn’t going crazy. The voice in my head really was from some dying superhero—and part of saving the galaxy, maybe even the universe in some contributing way, was up to me.
“Where’s this lady?” I asked.
“Are you sure you’re up to it?”
“I’m not promising to be a hero,” I said. “Come on, me against that? The guy had a head of fire. But… I’ll do what I can. At least talk to the girl.”
“Good, because she’s right behind you.”
I spun, eyes searching, but all I saw was a wall. My frown should’ve made it plain how annoyed I was, but oh yeah, they couldn’t see me. Whoever they were.
“There’s nobody th…” I started, then saw the ripple in the air, the change in the way the metal moved at just under eye level. “…ere.”
“Who sent you?” a female voice asked. It sounded like it was right in front of me, from where I’d seen the ripple.
Having seen the info screen on the others, I willed it up for her and the screen popped up for only me to see. Moniker: Charm. Status: Supervillain, imprisoned. Special Powers: Cloaking, charming. Notes: Don’t call her foxy.
“Foxy?” I asked, more to myself, and then—
BAM!
Something hit me on the nose and I fell back, red spots in my vision, and then saw a woman who was as sexy as they came. Her cute little nose was framed by narrowed, yet large, green eyes. Thick lines of eyeshadow—or maybe it was natural—framed her eyes. Her outfit clung to her perky breasts and hips, not leaving much to the imagination. Then I noticed something furry behind her, and started scooting back, stammering as I pointed, “Watch out!”
She turned, and when she looked at me again the annoyance in her expression was clear. That’s when I noticed the furry ears sticking out of her hair—not human ears. More like those of a fox. And when she turned to walk off, I saw that the thing I’d thought to be a monster or strange alien was, in fact, a bushy tail.
What. The. Fuck.
“Way to go, hotshot,” the voice said.
I pushed myself up, clearing my head. “What should I call you?”
“What?” the voice said.
“So that I can tell you to go to hell. I need a name.”
“That’s really not funny, considering… you know, how close we are to death. You can call me Xin, though.”
“Xin, like sin?” I shook my head. “Wow.”
“No, Xin like Jin, actually,” Xin replied. “And you’re losing your one chance at surviving this place. I advise you to get up.”
“You said ‘we’?” I pointed out as I stood, rotating my neck to listen up.
“Ah, yes. The reason you can see the information on the others there, and get your biotech clothes. Call her Lamb.”
“Wait, so… I’m wearing her?” I glanced down at my crotch, suddenly feeling very odd about the whole situation.
“Not exactly, more like her essence.”
“I’m not sure that’s much better,”
I replied, adjusting my crotch and then freezing mid- action.
“She says to not ever do that again.”
I felt the blood flooding my cheeks even as the voice said he was joking. Not funny at all. Done with this, I turned in the direction I’d seen the foxy lady storm off, and followed. There was no sign of her, but at this point, I knew from the character info that she had cloaking, so I knew what to look for.
A shimmer at the far door.
“Wait,” I said, picking up the pace.
She uncloaked and turned to me, still glaring. It took me a second to process that bushy tail and those ears again, but I did my best not to look, instead focusing on her cute little nose.
“Stay back. I bite,” she warned me.
“I’m not trying to hurt you,” I replied.
“You, hurt me?” she laughed, but then looked around, cautiously, as if people might have heard her. “Listen, bub, there are way scarier monsters in this place than you. I can tell that much with a glance.”
“Hey,” I protested. Of course, she was right, but she didn’t have to rub it in. “For your information, I just took down some guy with wings.” I didn’t add the fact that it was while running for my life, or that it was by accident.
“That could be one of three people that come to mind,” she replied, eyeing me suspiciously. “And I highly doubt that you’d be able to get to any of them.”
“Yeah, well it happened. Done. And now his buddies are after me and I think you’re the only person I can trust in here.” I glanced back for effect, trying to hide the panic that was creeping into my voice. It was like I was realizing the truth of it all as I was saying it. Some crazy motherfuckers were going to hunt me down and destroy me—probably after some insane torture. Damn, I was so fucked.
“Why me?” she asked.
“What?”
“For all you know, I’m as crazy as they come. Every one of us here is a supervillain, right? That’s what the judges said, anyway. So how do you know I won’t cut off your head and suck out your spinal fluid?”
Oddly, the way she pursed her lips after saying that made me think of her sucking something that was very much not my spinal fluid. And then I had both images mixing around in my mind and was very much confused.
“A little help here?” I said to the voice in my head.
The foxy lady blinked, opened her mouth to respond, and then sighed. “Follow me.”
“You had it under control,” Xin said in my head. “Keep up the good work.”
The foxy lady stormed through the next doorway. I couldn’t help staring at the way her outfit hugged her ass perfectly, the way her hips swayed with each step, and the fluffy tail protruding out from just above her ass.
“You’d better be staring at my ass and not my tail,” she said, and I looked up to see she had been watching me over her shoulder. She stood at a point where some pipes ran along the wall, turning into part of it. With a shove, she pushed the wall open—a secret passage!
“Staring at your ass… is okay?” I asked, guessing I’d go for that option.
She cocked her head, assessing me, and then shrugged. “What’s your name?”
“Chad,” I replied, moving closer to her, wondering why we weren’t going into the secret passage yet. We needed to get away from my pursuers—if they were really coming.
“Chad.” She frowned. “Don’t give me that fake-ass Milky Way shit. Your hero name.”
I blinked, trying to process that. It made sense, I supposed, if everyone here had some sort of powers—and she had said they were all supervillains—then they’d all have hero names, of a sort.
“Breaker,” I said, a verse of an old song popping into my head. I’d wanted to say Heart Breaker but figured that first part wouldn’t add to the reality of it being a superhero name.
“As in breaker of chains? Or breaker of rules? Societal norms?” She grinned. “I like it.”
“Sure, thanks… And you are?”
“Not sure if I should trust you,” she said, furrowing her brow as she analyzed me.
Something clicked, and a red light flashed from the darkness of the open wires and cables above, then vanished.
“Did you…?” I started to ask.
“Shit,” she said, picking up the pace. “You’re not the only one with enemies around here.” Scurrying sounded, as if moving down the walls, and she motioned for me to keep up. “You might have a chance to show me how you got that name pretty soon, Breaker.”
“Right. Of course.” My tongue seemed to stick to the roof of my mouth as I thought about embarrassing myself trying to defend her. I wasn’t completely helpless—at least I’d studied Shaolin Kung Fu growing up. I’d gotten quite into it too, loving the various animal styles the most. But that had been years ago, and lately, I was more of a lover than a fighter. “This enemy of yours, how serious are we talking here?”
“She hates me,” the woman said. “I kinda charmed her bitch into spilling food all over her in front of everyone.”
“As in, like a stupid prank?” I asked. “That’s what you’re using your powers for?”
She glanced back and shrugged, then motioned me down a side passage, narrower than the previous one, and shorter. We had to be much closer, and I noticed how she smelled like peaches and cream popsicles. When she took the lead, that perfect ass was right in my face, her strange tail waving around.
That’s when the tail brushed against my face, little hairs tickling my nose, and I couldn’t hold it in.
“Ahh—” I started to sneeze.
“Don’t you dare,” she hissed glancing back, wide-eyed.
“AHHH-CHOO!”
She face-palmed, standing there with a hand up, waiting. Just when she was about to motion us on, the scurrying returned. My lady friend turned, barely able to do so in the tight chamber, and grabbed me by the shirt, pulling me close enough that I could see myself reflected in her eyes. Her lower lip jutted out when she was mad.
“If you’ve just killed us by sneezing, I swear to Oram you’ll be eating steel before me, got it?”
For some reason, my eyes couldn’t move away from those lips. Instead of giving her the answer she seemed to want, I placed my hands on hers, smiled, and said, “We’ve got this.”
“You’re… sure?” She went from pissed to intrigued.
“Whatever happens—oh, SHIT!”
Behind her, the red light appeared, followed by two more.
Three little metal creatures came at us. They had long beaks like birds, moving like one fluid piece of metal with arms that had long hooks on the end. As one, they leaped for us, and I did the only thing I could think of—as she started to dodge and cloak, I threw myself at her. Together we crashed through the metal paneling of the wall, and I was up in a minute, slamming it back in place with a thud as those things came at it.
For a moment I thought we were safe, but then the scurrying sounded again, coming from all around, and metal started to seep in from the side of the walls.
“Move it!” she shouted, already up and running again.
We were in a larger room, one that led to a corridor filled with open prison cells. Those metal bastards followed, and then a face formed from the metal floor—a woman, laughing. Since my lady friend jumped over it, I did the same, but then paused, turned back, and had an idea. As one of the metal bastards came at us, I tried out my old ax-kick. Leg up, leg down, right on top of the little beast. The result was to catch it mid-air and slam it right into the metal face on the walkway. Its metal beak jammed into the floor and a screech sounded from somewhere distant as the face vanished—but the little robot thing was still stuck, as if the metal had been welded around it.
One down, two to go.
“Holy fuckballs,” the woman said, staring at me like I was a new man. “Two left.” Her eyes lit up with excitement as she watched to see what I would do.
Unfortunately, I was out of ideas. I grabbed her hand this time, taking the lead, and our feet poun
ded across the walkway as we ran past cells. They were mostly empty, except for a large man sitting with his throat slit in one, and another with—as far as I could tell from the quick glance I gave them, and of course, the double take—two women sixty-nining.
“What happened to this place?” I asked as we turned a corner, those scurrying robots not far behind.
“Most powers were blocked,” she replied, pulling another door shut behind us, this time spinning a dial there and then hitting a keypad that locked it in place. “It wasn’t until Ranger did his thing, effectively freeing everyone, that our powers returned.”
“And the guards?”
She shook her head. “No guards. The prison, see, it’s a machine, but it’s like it’s alive. Or was—hasn’t shown any sign of life, or much else, since Ranger got involved.”
We tore off down the hallway, hoping that was the end of our interaction with those robots.
“Ranger’s the main one?” I asked. “The guy freeing you all with the idea that all the supervillains will join him to fight and take down the Citadel?”
She eyed me. “You seem to know a lot for someone who was playing so stupid back there.”
“I wasn’t playing stupid,” I defended myself, only then realizing it wasn’t much of a defense. “I mean, I’m still learning a lot here. Like, Ranger—that doesn’t sound like a villain’s name.”
“It wasn’t, or rather, he wasn’t always a villain. Most of us aren’t. I hear he’s going by several names now, but I’ve been stuck in here, not exactly the most popular girl. My powers are fairly limited compared to most—such as Metallica, our friend who provided those robots. She can basically make metal come to life, form it into animate objects.”
“And Ranger’s here?”
“Not yet,” she explained. “He essentially told us to gather an army to follow him, while ensuring all those who refused are killed before he arrives. Hence, that big guy back there with his throat slit. Ache, they called him, and he would’ve been one of the first allies I searched out. Now I know… no good there.”
“Damn, I’m sorry.”
“We’ve got bigger problems,” she said, pulling to a stop. There at the far end of this hall, the remaining two robot creatures were squared off against us.
