by Blue Saffire
We pass Mr. Pacheco and he glares at the fitted cap on my head. I reach up and tip the brim to him and wink. Yeah, I’m sort of a little asshole. Whatever. We run this place. Noah graduated last year and Wyatt the year before, but the Blacks still own this place. I may be a freshman, but that doesn’t change a thing.
The teachers are too scared of my mom to call her up here on us. We pretty much get away with murder. I laugh, as Mr. Pacheco’s cheeks turn red. I live to piss that guy off. He’s a dick.
It’s only first period and I’m feeling good already. Seeing the steam come out of Mr. Pacheco ears, makes the fight I had with Brax and Ry this morning sting just a little less. I rub my ribs, remembering those two little fuckers jumping me.
I’ll need to get more time in at the gym at Dad’s office. Those two have been kicking my ass more often lately. I’ll catch Ry alone, after school and put the breaks to his ass.
“Dude, you want to slowdown,” I chuckle at Kwäzē.
“No, we cannot. She should be waiting on us now,” he puffs out and speeds up.
Kwäzē turns the corner to the office and I skid to a stop. It’s like my brain freezes. I can’t move. I can only stand and stare.
I know it’s her. My brain is able to connect that much. She has Kwäzē’s eyes and his smooth skin, she looks just like her brother, but…she’s gorgeous.
Just a few shades off being ebony brown and absolutely flawless. Her brown eyes are large and slanted, with super long lashes, not so much full as long. Her lips are plump and lush. She’s tall like her brother, but not as tall.
Her pink blouse and grey skirt give her an innocence most the girls at this school just don’t have. She looks…sweet, so fucking sweet, I swear I can taste her.
I blink at my own thoughts and drop my backpack, from my shoulder to hide the massive boner I’m sporting. Shit, Black, pull your shit together. This is Kwäzē’s sister.
She blinks those long lashes and I finally break out of my trance. Mr. and Mrs. Naidoo come from the office, bringing me back to earth. Kwäzē turns to me with pleading eyes. Again, I know my friend has left something out, when he asked me to look out for his sister.
When Kamara speaks, it’s a deep and husky sound that nearly has me coming in my pants. I reach for my neck with my free hand and rub. I’m sure I’ve lost all my shit. Her words are so thick and heavy with her accent.
“English, Kamara,” Mr. Naidoo chides.
I sigh. I haven’t lost my mind. Well, not completely. I frown a little. I’ve been friends with Kwäzē so long, he started to teach me his mother tongue, when I was in grade school. I can’t for the life of me understand why I didn’t just pick up Kamara’s words.
I watch as she draws her lip between her teeth. Wow, that dark chocolate skin glows in the cheeks, when she looks up at her dad. My eyes move to the thick hair on top her head.
It’s dark brown and looks so soft, pulled into a large puff in the center. She has two plaits in the front, one on each side of her head, clear beads hang from the tips. It’s not what I’m used to, but it’s cute on this girl. It places her pretty face and long neck on display.
I’m staring, I know I am. I feel Mrs. Naidoo’s eyes on me, I turn to see she’s giving me a knowing smile. I shake it off and look away.
“Sorry, father, I forgot. I’m so excited,” her husky voice comes again.
I look up through my lashes to see she’s turned those big brown eyes on me. She stretches out her hand for mine and takes a few steps forward. Her fingers are so long and graceful.
“You must be Toby,” she says, as she looks up into my eyes.
I swear, I think my knees are going to buckle, when I hear her say my name. The husk and rasp of her voice are sexy as fuck to me. It still has this softness about it that is as sweet as she looks.
I love the way my name comes from her lips. It sounds more like Toe-Be. She pronounces the T and the B so strongly. It’s cute, much the same way Kwäzē says it, but it just sounds better coming from her.
I take her hand in mine, feeling a jolt the moment my skin touches hers. Her eyes widen so I know she feels it too. I school my face, not to give a thing away. Kwäzē asked me to look after his sister, not lust after her.
“And you’re Kamara. Cool, nice to meet you,” I say dumbly.
I could kick myself, as soon as the words leave my mouth. That’s the coolest thing you could come up with, Black? Nice, really nice, Toby. I groan internally.
I’m usually a lot smoother than this. Honestly, girls are usually throwing themselves at me. I don’t have to say much of anything, but I’ve been known to do better than this.
“I’ve heard so much about you from my brother. You, your six brothers, and your mom and dad. You are all like family to Kwäzē. I can’t wait to make new friends here,” she rambles, still holding my hand.
Or should I say that I’m still holding her hand. It is too soft for me to let go just yet. I think Kamara takes notice that she’s still holding mine and rambling as well. She slowly pulls her hand free, as if reluctant to do so.
“We’ll make sure you make friends in no time,” I say, with a crooked smile.
“Toby, can I talk to you,” Mr. Naidoo says, breaking into our awkward conversation.
I turn to him and nod. “Yes, Sir.”
I groan inside again. I’m sure he’s totally going to chew my horny ass out for eye fucking his daughter. Great, I guess this day isn’t going to get better. Fuck.
~B~
Kamara
I want to kick myself. The first time I get to talk to an American boy and I blow it. Not just any American boy, but the American boy I’ve been wanting to meet in person, since I saw him in the pictures my brother sent me.
Kwäzē has looked so happy here in America. I’ve been waiting to come over, wishing I could experience all of the things he has gotten a chance to experience and learn. It has not been easy being away from my family.
I’m to tell everyone here that I’ve been with family in New York. This is not the truth. I’ve been in hiding for the last five years, before that I lived in the village among my people. Still hidden, but not in the same way, as I have been in the last five years.
It has been so long since I’ve been with my family. Kwäzē has been here in America, since he was six. His English is so much better than mine. I wring my hands, as I think of how I must sound to Toby.
“You worry too much,” Kwäzē whispers in my ear. “You will be fine. We will look after you. I’m here to protect you now.”
I look up at my brother. He does not know I have a crush on his best friend. I’ve wanted to tell him, but he will tell my father and that I cannot have.
“Thank you,” I say to my brother, hoping that for once he doesn’t read my feelings all over my face.
Even with our time apart, Kwäzē knows me. Sometimes it is hard being a twin. I know for a fact it was hard being so far away from Kwäzē for so long. I missed my brother.
I turn my eyes away to look at the beautiful coppered haired boy that is talking to my father. He is taller than I thought he would be. He and my brother are about the same height. I’m not that much smaller than the two, but they are taller than me.
Those eyes, they are truly gold. So mesmerizing, I could have gotten lost in them. I wasn’t able to see them at first. It wasn’t until I stepped closer to him and reached out my hand. That was when I was able to look up into those amazing eyes.
Toby is very handsome. His baseball cap makes him look mysterious, but up close looking into those eyes, I see something else. Needing another look, I turn to watch Toby as he speaks with my father. He has removed his hat. I smile to be able to see his copper hair in person. It is cut close on the side, but just long enough on top for you to tell that it is a golden blonde and red.
The intense look on his face has me wondering what my father is saying to him. I look to my mother and she gives me a warm smile. I look away from her assessing eyes quickly. I know I�
�m too late, when she moves closer and leans into my ear.
“Remember who you are, my daughter,” she says.
I don’t get to reply. She moves to my father, breaking into the conversation he is having with Toby. Toby turns his head to narrow his eyes at me. I can hold his eyes now that he no longer has his hat on.
I can see the questions in his orbs. He is taking me in anew. I feel like he can see through me. I wring my hands some more, then loop my thumbs into the straps of my backpack to keep from fidgeting.
The bell rings and I jump. Toby’s eyes narrow a bit more and seem to sharpen in on me. I want to bare all my secrets here and now. For that reason, I turn to Kwäzē.
“Shouldn’t we be off to class?”
“Yes, I will help you find your first one,” my brother says with a bright smile.
Lord, please help me. This is not going to be easy. Please let me make friends.
Chapter two
School Crush
Kamara
I have been here for six months. I wish I could say that it has gotten better and I have made a ton of friends. Yet, it has not.
Kwäzē fits in much better than I do. He is one of the cool kids. I’m just lost here. They make fun of the way I speak, my looks, my hair, my clothes, everything. I’ve cried so many tears, I sometimes wonder if what I’m running from in my country is so bad, but that’s only on the truly bad days.
I know I’m better off here. I just wish it wasn’t so hard. I would love to shout at them all. Where I’m from, they would have to show me respect. They would have no choice but to be my friends, but this is not my home. This is America, where no one knows who I am and no one cares.
“Hey, Kamara,” I hear from behind me, in the girls’ locker room.
I should rephrase that last thought. I have made a few friends. Nellie and Rebecca are always nice to me. I get that they are shy too. I think that’s why they have been so kind to me, I also think it is why we haven’t made more of an effort for us to hang out together.
I just don’t know what to say to other kids. Every time Kwäzē takes me around his friends, I clam up. It may have something to do with the fact that, whenever we go around Kwäzē’s friends that also includes Toby.
If I thought I had what they call a crush from just a photo, I am head over heels in love now. Toby is the coolest boy in our school. At least, he is to me.
I admire the girls that have the guts to talk to him. I also want to punch them all. Especially, when they try to embarrass me in front of Toby.
We already know I sound funny to everyone. Why must they point this out in front of Toby, every single day? I loathe the mean girls here.
I turn from my locker to look over my shoulder, holding my t-shirt to my chest to cover my bra. It hasn’t helped that I’ve started to grow larger breasts, since I’ve moved here to America. I have yet to become comfortable with the changes. Everything has changed so much in the last six months.
“Hello, Nellie,” I say with a smile.
“I was wondering,” Nellie says softly, pushing up her glasses. “I’ll be moving soon. Bean and I were going to go for pizza, after school, to sort of make some memories before I go. Would you like to come?”
My eyes grow wide. I can’t begin to say how happy I am to receive this offer. I don’t get invited to much, outside of my brother dragging me along to his events.
“Yes, please, I would like that,” I reply.
“Cool, some of the guys may tag along. I hope that’s okay. I know Kwäzē is at a meet or something. I wasn’t sure if you would still want to hang,” Nellie shrugs her small shoulders.
“That will be fine. I was going to walk home and read or something. I would like this much better,” I say, maybe too enthusiastically.
A few of the other girls nearby start to snicker. I drop my eyes and pull into myself. Nellie moves a little closer and whispers to me.
“You know what, Kamara. You have to stop letting them get to you. Fuck them, these bitches all wish they could be as gorgeous and confident as you,” she says.
My mouth falls open, I search her face for signs that she is teasing me. I don’t see any. I slowly pull my shirt over my head and turn fully towards Nellie.
“You think I’m confident,” I say with curiosity.
“Yeah, you have this…,” she takes a pause and taps her chin. She shakes her head and laughs. “I don’t know, when I look at you I always feel like I’m watching royalty. You have this aura about you, like you can’t help being confident. I don’t know.”
Nellie gives a small giggle and I try to laugh it off with her. If only she knew. She is so on target. I wrap my arms around my middle.
“Thank you for the invitation. It would be my pleasure,” I say, with a big smile.
I even hold my head a little higher. Nellie is right. I have to learn not to take things so seriously. Kwäzē has figured this out. Everyone accepts him. I will figure it out as well.
I wish Kwäzē and I had classes together so that I could learn how my brother does it, but I will figure it out on my own. It is hard, Kwäzē being skipped a grade ahead of me, but I can do this.
“Good,” Nellie chirps. “And it’s my treat.”
“Oh, no, let me treat you,” I insist.
“We’ll figure it out when we get there. Let’s get to the gym, before Mrs. Kohler has a fit,” she shrugs.
I nod and rush to put the rest of my things away and lock my locker. While Nellie has always been nice to me, this is one of the first times I feel like I’m being involved in something because of me, not Kwäzē.
I’ve longed to be included. I feel a little disappointed in the back of my mind. Knowing Nellie will be leaving makes this bitter sweet, but I plan to bask in this new friendship while I can.
“Hey, Kamara,” Rebecca or Bean, as everyone else calls her, says as she walks up to follow us out of the locker room. “Can you come out with us?”
“Oh yes, I will be there,” I say, unable to hide my excitement. I feel my cheeks warm.
These girls don’t understand how they have made my day. I was prepared to ask my parents for home schooling soon. I don’t know if I’ll make it through three more years like this.
Some of these kids can be ruthless. Sadly, my father says it is all beneath me and I should ignore it. That is easy for him to say. He is not the one going through this.
“Hey, Kamara. What’s up, Bean, Nellie.”
And that voice is the reason I have toughed it out. When Toby speaks to me, I feel like I can handle anything. I turn to see him leaning against the bleachers.
I have to tell myself to breathe. A pretty blonde is standing beside him. Kerry Porter looks like the type of girl Toby should be dating, by American standards. Long, silky hair, bright blue eyes, tanned, and thin.
I don’t hate Kerry for her looks. I hate her because she is one of the girls that have made it so difficult for me to acclimate to being here. She makes fun of my accent, she has tugged at my hair, and she has started rumors about me in class.
Thank God, for my brother and Toby. They are not around for the taunting and teasing. No, the others wouldn’t dare do those things in front of them. Still, when the rumors got out, the two of them put a stop to them right away.
Kwäzē would never let anyone disgrace my name. If he knew about the teasing, I’m sure he would put a stop to it too. I have only discussed the matter with my father and mother. I don’t want to be more trouble to my brother than I already am.
Kerry scowls at me, but I ignore her. Nellie’s words in the locker room come back to me. I lift my head and push my shoulders back. I may not be able to tell anyone who I am, but I can sure show them.
I will not be a victim in this. I’ve been feeling like I’m being nurtured to be a victim. It is not in my nature to be so, my mother and my father are warriors. They have just taken a protective stance with me and it has made me feel weak at times. I’m coming to resent it.
My eyes sh
ift to Toby’s and the look I find there gives me another boost. I paste a smile on my lips and forge forward. I, Kamara Ogeima Naidoo, will not be made to feel less than.
“Hello, Toby, how are you today,” I ask, locking eyes with him.
A slow smile creeps onto his lips. It snatches my breath away, when it is in full bloom. Toby, Toby, Toby, you fry my brain, whenever I’m near you. Whatever, shall I do with these feelings.
~B~
Toby
Every time she’s around I have to try to think of anything but her. I don’t even think she knows how gorgeous she is. I see the sadness in her eyes, when she thinks no one is paying attention. Or should I say, when she thinks Kwäzē isn’t paying attention.
He is, he’s just trying to give her time to do this on her own. Kwäzē doesn’t want to force friends on her and he doesn’t want to dictate what she does. I think it’s cool, the way he looks out for her. My brothers and I have the same type of understanding. We all want to be our own men.
Well, most of us are trying to be Wyatt or Noah. They’re fucking awesome, so you can’t blame us. We just want to be our own versions of them. At least, that’s how it is for me.
Even now, I’m trying to think of the best way to handle this. What would Wyatt do? I want to talk to Kamara. Shit, I would love to ask her out on a date. Not that I think her father would let her date me.
I still can’t get that day from six months ago out of my head. Outside the school office that first day Kamara started school, Mr. Naidoo said a whole lot to me, without saying much. I took his words as a warning to stay away, but I can’t help feeling like he was trying to tell me something more.
“You have been a friend of my son’s from the time you were young boys. I could not have picked a better companion for him. You have fought for Kwäzē, when he has needed someone in his corner.
“It is my hope that you will see my daughter as the same type of friend and offer her the same type of friendship and protection,” he said, while looking me in the eyes.
