“Hey,” he urged softly as he clambered down to the bottom of the bed, moving away from me when he saw my distress. “I know you’re not dirty, Elina. I know you’re not.” His voice was so soft and his face so full of pain. “I won’t hurt you, baby. I promise.”
I sagged into the bed and covered my face with my hands. “I’m sorry.” I sighed, feeling utterly stupid.
“Don’t you dare say you’re sorry for what they did to you!”
My eyes snapped open and I stared at him. “How do you know?” My voice was quiet and tight, my throat constricting and making it difficult to breathe.
He lowered his eyes. “The night of the fire. You were having a nightmare.” He looked back up at me. “You were growing more and more unsettled and your energy was spiking.”
Realisation hit me. My stomach twisted and a sob tore up my throat. “Oh, God, no.” I shook my head, tears pouring from me. “Tell me you didn’t, Reid.”
“Elina . . .”
“TELL ME YOU DIDN’T LOOK!”
“Calm down,” he soothed but I could see it in his eyes, the reflection of my nightmare.
“No. No.” I was too ashamed to look at him. I clambered off the bed, pulling the sheet around my nakedness, fighting with the shame and mortification.
“Elina! Listen to me. I don’t see you any differently. All I want to do is kill all three of them! This is not your fault! It is NOT—your—fault.”
“No.” A quiet voice came from behind me. “It’s mine.”
I spun round. Lettie was standing there, her pale face streaked with tears, her wide grey eyes staring up at me.
“No!” I rushed over to her, kneeling down so I was on her level. “Don’t you ever think that!” I palmed her face, my thumbs desperately swiping at her tears.
Everything was spiralling out of control. Not five minutes ago I was caught up in the pleasure of Reid and now it was all burning to the ground again.
“But it is. You paid so they wouldn’t hurt me.”
“What?” Reid hissed out. I tensed but Lettie moved her eyes to him.
“They were cruel. El let them hurt her.” The sound of her heartbreak tore me in half. “She let them hurt her so they wouldn’t hurt me.” Her weeping was loud and as piercing as mine as I folded her in my arms and shushed her. “I’m so sorry, El. I’m so sorry.”
“Shush,” I whispered to her as I saw Reid move in the corner of my eye. “Listen to me, sweetie.” I lifted her face to mine, cupping her plump cheeks in my hands. “I would take the pain of a thousand deaths to protect you. You’re my sanity, Lettie. I would never have survived in there without you.”
“But . . .” she whimpered.
“Don’t you see? You gave me more than they took. Much more. They can never have my soul because you’re the angel that protects it. The angel that protects me.”
“I love you,” she whispered as her arms wrapped around me.
“And I love you, Lettie. More than life.”
Her face turned to Reid and she smiled. “And I love you, Daddy.”
I pulled back when he dropped to his knees beside her, his arms open, encouraging her to move into him. “What?”
Reid’s eyes moved to mine, a soft smile playing on his lips. “Lettie is my daughter.”
Lettie turned her face to me and beamed widely. “They told me he died, but he didn’t, El. He’s here. He’s alive.”
I nodded stiffly, shock rendering me stupid. “Petra?” I asked Reid quietly. He shook his head.
“No, she died eighteen months ago, and until about three weeks ago I thought Lettie was lost with her.”
“Eighteen months ago?”
He nodded, his eyes dark but locked on me. I stared at him, everything hitting me at once.
“It was you,” I choked out. He swallowed again, his tongue swiping his lips to moisten them, but he nodded.
“Yes, it was me that night. It was me who started the fire. And it was me who killed three other people.” His face tightened and he lowered his eyes. “Including your father.”
I STARED AT HIM, unable to process what he’d said. He watched me warily as Lettie shifted uncomfortably, sensing the encroaching storm.
“Sweetie,” I whispered to Lettie, but left my stare on Reid. “Can you just give me and your father a few moments?”
I felt her tiny hand slip into mine and give it a small squeeze before she walked out and quietly closed the door behind her.
Slowly, I stumbled across to him. He looked down at me, the pain behind his eyes as harsh as mine. His breathing was heavy, causing the fabulous muscles on his stomach to ripple.
His face shot to the side when my hand struck his cheek, a sharp gasp whispering from him as his teeth sank into his lower lip.
“I guess I deserved that,” he said as he turned back to me.
“You guess? I’d take a guess that you deserve much more than a slap.”
“Look, El.” He sighed and lowered his eyes. “It was an accident.”
“Oh, I have no doubt about that.” He peered at me, his brow creased slightly. “But the night of the storm, I told you exactly who I was. I told you in plain English who my parents were.”
“I know.”
“Then why didn’t you tell me. Why lie?”
He held up his hands and shook his head. “What was I supposed to say? Oh, by the way I murdered your father, but I really want to fuck your brains out so ignore that part?”
He hissed with the next slap, his cheek glowing. “Jesus Christ, will you stop!”
“How dare you? Not only have you just told me you killed my father, but all I am to you is a fuck, and you wonder why I slapped you?”
I ran backwards when the front of his body pushed me at speed until my back hit the wall. His face tightened, his eyes darkening as he glared at me. “That’s not what I meant,” he growled. “You were drunk, and all over me . . .”
“I was all over you?”
“If you stop fucking interrupting me I might be able to explain!”
“Oh, come on then!” I pushed him away from me a little when I folded my arms over my chest. “Explain away.”
He closed his eyes and sighed, eventually turning away. “What’s the point when you’re not willing to listen?”
I snorted. “I’ve been willing to listen for over a week now. And admit it, you knew exactly who I was when I ran into your club, didn’t you?” He remained silent so I carried on. “You realised exactly who you had in your hold and you knew you could negotiate a deal with Judgement, using me as bait.” When he didn’t turn I knew I’d hit the nail on the head. “So, come on!” I was growing angrier by the second, a heavy ache descending in my chest when I realised how stupid I had been. “Why did you wait? Why hang on to me?”
His fists clenched by his sides, my truth forcing out his anger. “El.” His tone held a warning but I ignored it.
“I’ll tell you why!” I swallowed when my veins started to tingle, my anger energising my system and my body shivering with the sensation coursing through me. “You thought you’d have fun with me first! Break me down like they did!”
My lungs emptied in a sudden gush when he turned and circled my throat with his hand. “Don’t you dare put me in the same league as those cunts!” he snarled. I tensed when I felt his energy spike, my skin tingling under his fingers when he started to lose control. “I’ll admit, I wanted and I still want, to sink my cock so far inside you that I can feel your heart beat against it. I want to feel your womb lick my cum and your soul devour my pleasure. But I want it because I want to connect with you, Elina. Not because I want to fucking hurt you! You’re right. I knew exactly who you were before you told me. But think about this.” He pushed me back against the wall again. God damn it, I was sure my spine would be forever bruised. “I had every opportunity to make a trade with Judgement, so why didn’t I?”
I blinked up at him and sighed, my shoulders sagging in defeat. “I don’t know, Reid. But you should ha
ve told me. That hurts.”
He gave me a simple nod and loosened his hold on my neck. “It’s not exactly a simple subject. I killed your father, El.” His guilt was written across his face but I shook my head softly.
“If you think I blame you for that, then you’re wrong. My father was a sadistic bastard who deserved a death so fitting.” The thought that he’d burned in the fire Reid had started seemed appropriate for where he would be spending his time now—in Hell.
Reid sighed, suddenly reaching out to tuck my hair behind my ear, his eyes soft but so fixed on mine that he demanded all of my attention. “Why did you do that?”
“Do what?”
His fingers left my hair and I shivered as he drew a finger down the side of my neck then along my collarbone that was visible just above the sheet which still covered me. His eyes dropped to watch his adventure over my skin. “Flood your chip, little girl. Terminate to save me?”
I gulped when he traced the edge of the sheet, two fingers whispering across my skin and leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. “It was the only thing I could do.”
His eyes still followed his fingers as they moved across to my arm and slowly brushed down the length until he reached my hand, his fingers threading through my own until he held my hand in his. Finally his gaze drew back up to my face. “No,” he said, his voice now only a hushed whisper. “The sensible thing was to leave me and not put yourself in that position.”
I smiled softly but shook my head. “No, Reid. My life has come before others so many times. I don’t deserve to live more than the others did. My life is the sole reason they lost theirs.”
He scowled, yet his hand lifted until he trapped mine under his against the wall, his face coming closer as his eyes dropped to study my mouth. “Why do you constantly devalue your life?”
“Because if it wasn’t for me then you would all be living happy, content lives.” My heart ached, my mind forever assaulting me over the damage my mother and I had done.
Lifting his eyes back up, he shook his head. He was so close the tip of his nose brushed over mine, his warm breath breezing across my face, soothing me. “And you could also say if it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t have ever been in Judgement. I wouldn’t have ever met Petra and then I wouldn’t have the most brilliant daughter a father could ask for.”
I sighed, finding reason in his statement but also thinking life would have just taken him on another route he would have equally loved.
“And,” he continued, so quietly I had to lift my sense of hearing. “I wouldn’t be here staring at the most beautiful woman, or feel her soft, full, pink lips under mine.” I swallowed, my eyes fluttering closed as my heart pumped furiously, my soul becoming excited with his words. “And if it weren’t for Judgement increasing my senses,” he breathed into my mouth as our lips touched ever so faintly, “I wouldn’t be able to hear the swift beat of your heart right now. I wouldn’t be able to smell your unique scent of lilies and sex. I wouldn’t be able to see the tiny flecks of gold in your irises that glisten when I say something you like.”
“Reid,” I whispered when his tongue tasted my bottom lip, the tip leisurely gliding along.
“And.” He groaned when I lifted my hand and curled it around the back of his neck, holding him in place so he couldn’t move away. “I wouldn’t be able to do this.”
I gasped, jumping back into the wall when he pressed his hand against my breast and guided a gentle heat through the thin cotton sheet. My mouth fell open as I looked down to see.
“Oh my God,” I panted, looking down at his hand sparking slightly as my nipple swelled, reaching out for more of the stimulation he provided. The sensation sent my womb into spasm, its demand for as much stimulation prompting me to squeeze my thighs together when arousal dampened them. “What? How?”
I didn’t care what or how when he pressed his mouth to mine, his kiss gentle but full of need. His lips caressed mine as his hand continued to pleasure my breast, ecstasy radiating through me, making me move under him, my body seeking more and more as I pushed myself into him.
I pushed the sheet away from my body, letting it drop to the floor by our feet. “Make love to me, Reid. Please.” I didn’t care that I was begging. I needed to feel him inside me. I needed to connect like he wanted.
His eyes roamed my face before he, without warning, dropped to his knees in front of me. I blinked, watching him when he brought his hands to my stomach, his fingers splayed over the swell of my belly, the tips touching my hips. A small smile played on his lips before he circulated the same warmth he’d spread over my breast through my stomach.
A heavy breath left me and my head fell backwards, the wall catching me with a thud as I struggled to remain upright. He circled his hands, dispersing pleasure into my nerve endings, a deep heat tickling and arousing. The sensation was indescribable, almost like when you’re on the verge of climax and your whole body is riding the pleasure wave but not quite at its peak. I felt his eyes on my face, taking his own pleasure from what he gave me. I had no idea how he was doing it, but he delivered a stimulating heat everywhere, controlling his energy in a way I could only dream of.
Sinking my fingers into his thick hair, I couldn’t help but hold onto him when he leaned forwards and kissed my mound, his tongue peeking out to tickle my sensitive skin. “Reid!”
My desperation encouraged him to push his tongue into my sex and swipe my clit with the tip. That was all I needed; his hands had brought me to the edge and his tongue forced me over, my body soaring in extreme ecstasy as Reid growled, my orgasm intensifying his need.
He gripped my hips, holding me up and supporting me as my soul touched the heavens and I flew with the angels. I’d never felt such amazing rapture, my entire body humming and burning.
I felt him pull on me, guiding me down until I was straddled across his lap, my knees tucked either side of his thighs. He stroked his thumb across my cheekbone, wiping away a tear that had been forced out with the intensity of my climax.
I hadn’t even realised he’d slipped out of his jeans. His hard cock sat high and proud between our bellies but I reached down and tickled the tip with my thumb, swiping at the cum that dribbled over the edge. I licked my lips, fighting the need to taste him.
Sliding his fingers into my hair, he cupped the side of my face with his huge palm. “You take me inside you, then you do it your way, Elina.” I swallowed, squeezing my eyes closed when I understood what he was saying. “Slow, hard, fast or even fucking stationary, you own me. I’m yours. You take your pleasure from me. You do it your way.”
Opening my eyes, my gaze held his as I positioned him at my entrance and then slowly slid down onto him. My head fell back, the feeling of him slowly filling me up was exquisite. He was large, his width stretching but not tearing. Perfect. Utterly fucking perfect.
“Oh Christ,” he choked out, his jaw clenching harder the more of him I took inside me.
I sat still on him when he was completely encased inside me, my walls stretching to accommodate him beautifully. “Oh God,” I breathed as I let my forehead rest against his. “You feel so good.”
He nudged his mouth to mine, giving me a tender kiss. “And you feel fucking incredible.” He moved his mouth lower, brushing his lips over my throat and along my shoulder blade. “But there’s something you should know.”
I blinked at him. Fuck, he was gonna tell me he had herpes or something; his serious face made my stomach clench. I stared at him, waiting for him to tell me but he just kissed lower and lower until he found my nipple, swollen and in need of attention.
“Bloody hell, Reid. Tell me,” I moaned, shifting on him when he traced the edge of my nipple with his tongue.
His eyes lifted to mine as a grin formed, his teeth gently scraping my flesh. “We fuck, then you claim me. I’m yours now. And you belong to me. You’re mine.” Another grin lifted his lips, but this time a wicked expression accompanied it. “To do with as I wish.”
He
locked my gaze as his hands lifted me up and drew me back down, his hips reaching upwards to meet me. He sucked my nipple harder, pulling my flesh into his mouth with it. His hands directed me, encouraged me to move harder and faster on him until I was in complete control, bouncing up and down on him, eager to get us both to climax.
“That’s it, baby,” he hissed as I drove down on him, my hands holding his shoulders for support. “Lose yourself in me.”
I shivered when heat travelled up my spine, pleasure pushing me further and further into euphoria. Reid was as hungry beneath me, his cock driving hard into me with every lift to meet me on my plunge back down. The pleasure was building so quickly, my moans as loud as Reid’s as we fucked hard and loved harder.
“El,” he whispered.
My eyes fluttered closed when I felt the warmth seep into my mind. “Fuck!” I gasped when he slid inside my head. My breath left me in a sudden rush when Reid connected with me like he said he wanted. But this was no ordinary connection. I could feel his pleasure as well as my own, the bliss that was riding him dripping into my mind as he soaked up my pleasure.
We both cried out, coming together, feeling each other’s orgasm and heightening the ecstasy so much neither of us could breathe. I’d always wondered what a man’s climax was like and when the shot of heat fired up my spine and burst into my brain with my own orgasm, I was amazed at how fucking mind-blowing it was.
“Jesus Christ!” Reid choked out as his head dropped to my shoulder. “You have intense orgasms, El. Fuck!”
I smiled, resting my cheek on the top of his head when I realised he’d experienced my orgasm as well. “Well it’s kind of hard not to when there’s a hot guy’s cock buried deep inside me.”
He chuckled, moving back so he could look at me. “Hot guy, huh?”
“Well.” I shrugged, another shudder tearing through me as my body continued to come down from the amazing high. “He’s a bit rough around the edges but he has an awesome cock.”
He nipped at my nose with his teeth, another chuckle making my heart swell. He blew out a breath, giving me a swift kiss. “I have no words. A woman’s orgasm is so different.”
Judgement 8 (Subject Alpha #1) Page 10
