by Lexy Timms
"I'm coming with you. I don't want to spend a moment without you." He pulled on a tight blue t-shirt and worked on the string in the front of his wind pants.
"I think I should do this alone. I'm feeling like a hot mess and I don't want you to see me cry or barf if I get too worked up." She rolled her shoulders, knowing that it was time to create a little bit of space between them. It was going to hurt like hell when he left, but maybe if she pushed a little now it would help.
"Fuck that." He walked toward her and stopped in front of her. "I'm with you no matter what. I want to be the one holding you when you cry or cleaning up your messes. That's me. I'm that guy."
His voice was rough and filled with the same emotions she knew she was suffering from. He hadn't been through what she had. Long-distance relationships never last. They were setting themselves up for a hurting that she wasn't sure she would survive. Telling him that they were over now wasn't going to happen, though. She couldn't imagine letting him go. She would have to let the distance between them tear them apart.
"Okay," she whispered, turning from him and jogging down the stairs of his father's large house as she wiped at her tears. She stopped at his sexy car and glanced over her shoulder, finding her courage again. "Hurry up old man, we only have so long."
The drive to the field was a quiet one save for the radio. There wasn't much to say and Chrissy was fighting a losing battle inside of her. She glanced over at him.
"I wish you could be here for my first meet. I know it's silly, but I'm so damn scared I'm going to jack it up. Last time was so embarrassing." She squeezed his hand in hers as he glanced over.
"I know you’re worried about us lasting this next year or so, Chrissy, but I'm not. I'll prove to you that I'll be here when you need me to. I'll fly back in for the meet. I can only stay that day, but I'll be here, baby." He squeezed her hand as she lifted it to her face, pressing her cheek against the roughness of his knuckles.
He would be there and that would be proof that they could do this. She would let it go for now and rely on him to keep his promises.
"Okay." She glanced over at him before letting out a long breath. Today was about fun and spending time with their friends. She was going to kill it on the indoor track and then they would head to the Pinstripe Bowl after a quick stop by the gym. It was locked, but Ryan still had his key.
"I'm so freakin’ proud of you." Ryan picked her up and spun her around, his compliments not stopping since they left the practice field. She ran at a good pace for a while and then picked up her speed, the wind in her hair and burning her lungs a much-needed reminder. She was Chrissy Harris and this track belonged to her.
She kissed him a few times and slid down the front of his body. "I'm just glad that I'm getting it back. I think they'll be impressed where I am. You?"
"I know they will, girl." Ryan opened the door and held it for her. Chrissy walked in and called out to see if anyone was there. The gym was dark and no one responded. She tugged her sweaty t-shirt off and walked to the women's locker room, glancing back as Ryan finished locking the door and walked toward her.
"I'll be out shortly." She turned the corner and stripped out of the rest of her clothes, a shower sounding perfect. She turned on the hot water and stepped in, whistling through her teeth as the heat coated her cold skin. She jumped as Ryan wrapped his arms around her, his body bare and pressed to hers.
"You didn't seriously delude yourself to think I wasn't coming in here with you, right?" He laughed as she turned around, sliding her arms around his taut waist. He was gorgeous and the sight of him in the barely lit shower caused her heart to thump harder in her chest.
"We only have thirty minutes until we need to get to the game." She reached up and ran her fingers through his thick dark hair, the softness of it causing her to groan.
"I'll take every second I can get with you." He leaned down and kissed her again, making love to her mouth before breaking it and turning her in front of him. He took her hands and pressed them to the wall in front of her, sliding them up as far as she could. The movement pressed him against her back, his arousal rubbing at her ass. She moaned loudly and rubbed herself against him.
"Mmmm... I've wanted this since we first came in here."
"Horny bastard," she whispered as she closed her eyes and prepared for him to fill her completely.
His hands bit into her hips as he pressed forward, his voice pinched with pleasure as he answered her. "Only for you."
"Where the hell have you guys been?" Jason asked, standing and extending his hand to Ryan and then pulling Chrissy into a hug. All of their friends sat around her brother in the stands at the game, the crowd going wild.
Chrissy took the seat beside Jason and leaned over to rub Elizabeth's knee after Jason sat down.
"I have a trial run with Maves and Anderson on Monday. I went to the field to make sure I could hit a good time on my sprints."
"And?" Jason asked, leaning back and wrapping an arm around Elizabeth. Chrissy smiled as she watched them. Something really great was on the horizon for her brother and her roommate. It was about time for both of them.
"She fucking killed it. No jumping just yet, but she's ninety-nine percent on her sprints," Ryan answered as he wrapped his strong arm around Chrissy. She leaned into him and rested her hand on his thigh. Jason reached over and took Chrissy's hand and put it in her own lap. Ryan laughed and Chrissy elbowed her brother.
"You're lucky it's just his leg I'm rubbing." She stuck out her tongue. Elizabeth laughed and snorted softly as Jason pretended to gag.
"Okay, just keep it to yourself. You're my sister, for Pete’s sake."
"Yeah, remember that." Chrissy sunk into Ryan's hold and looked out on the field as they announced Tyler's name. He was coming into the game. The stands around them went wild. Aileen stood up in the seat in front of Chrissy and yelled loudly, waving her arms as she bounced around. Chrissy and Jason reached forward to steady her should she fall in the midst of showing her love for the wayward guy on the field.
Chrissy watched Tyler stop at the edge of the field as he glanced toward them. He pressed his fingers to his mouth and lifted them toward us. It was for Aileen. It had to be. Tears filled Chrissy's eyes as she knew how much that meant to her friend. Jason stood and made sure Aileen got back in her chair before sitting back down himself.
"How do all of these great women end up with these crazy half-broken bastards?" Jason asked quietly.
"I don't know, but I'm sure grateful that's the way it keeps working out." Ryan sat forward, smiling over at Chrissy.
Jason huffed and leaned back, taking Elizabeth's hand in his. "Me too."
The game couldn’t have gone any better for Tyler. He led his team and broke the record for the number of touchdowns by a quarterback during a bowl game. He was easily named MVP. Chrissy, Ryan, Elizabeth and Jason met near Ryan's car after the game.
Chrissy watched Jason and Ryan talking cars and sighed. Please let this last.
"You guys wanna grab something to eat? The diner at the edge of town is always serving up something tasty." Jason smiled and looked toward Elizabeth.
"Yeah, I'm not sure the little old waitress there is going to let Chrissy back in. She's a hussy you know." Ryan smirked and pulled Chrissy into him, wrapping his arms around her as he kissed the top of her head.
"I looked that up on google. I am not a hussy."
"No, but the old lady thinks you are." Jason laughed and lifted his hand in the air, giving Ryan a high-five.
"What's a hussy?" Elizabeth asked.
"Nothing you need to be concerned about, pretty girl." Jason extended his hand. "You guys coming with us?"
"Naw, man. I can't. I have a flight out in two hours. I'm going to tell your sister how much she means to me and get out of here. Take good care of her for me. Beat off the other men that try and take my place?" Ryan extended his hand as Chrissy moved back, letting him have a moment with her brother.
"You're not at a
ll the man I thought you were, Ryan Phillips. Forgive me for pre-judging you?"
"Absolutely. You're totally the cocky bastard I figured you to be." Ryan laughed and shook Jason's hand.
"All hockey players are dude. You need to find your center. It's somewhere between cocky and bastard." Jason hugged Chrissy and promised to call her later. Elizabeth waved and walked off holding Jason's hand.
"Are they together now?" Ryan asked before reaching out and taking Chrissy by the hips. He pulled her to him, aligning her body with his as his hands moved up and down her sides. She slid her hands over his shoulders and pressed herself against him.
"What if I say you can't go?" she asked, looking up at him.
"Then I won't go. Is that what you want from me?" His voice was deep and filled with more emotion than she cared to uncover. It was enough that the lust between them was so strong, but if he loved her like she knew she loved him... she might demand him to stay with her.
"I love you too much to ask that of you." Chrissy watched him, his expression softening.
"And I love you too much to do anything that would hurt this. I know we can make it work, but you're going to have to trust me. I don't want anyone but you. That's not going to change. No distance or time or hordes of crazy screaming women would even begin to change that. You and me, forever, Chrissy Harris. Let's get through school and go build some kick ass dreams together. Say you'll try."
"I'll try."
He pulled her in tighter, leaning down and consuming her mouth. She let a soft sob go and pressed her fears into the kiss, her body shaking slightly at the fear of losing him before really getting to have him. He broke the kiss and brushed her hair back before kissing her cheeks, her chin, her lips and the tip of her nose.
"Are there really hordes of screaming half-naked women at your games?" She lifted her eyebrow as a tear rolled down her cheek.
"You added the half-naked part."
"I did, didn't I?" She laughed and he kissed her again, growling against her mouth.
"You're the woman I want to see naked or half naked, or at all. Mine. Tell me you’re mine." He licked at her mouth, one of his hands sliding down to cup her rear in a painful grip.
"I'm yours. Come back to me soon."
"Your first meet. Look for me. I won't disappoint you."
CHAPTER 19
The first week of January turned into a blur. Chrissy spent endless hours trying to push herself in the gym with Jamie and on the indoor track with Jason and Jani. All of her friends stepped up to help her, even Elizabeth, who was much more comfortable on a basketball court.
"You really don't have to do this." Chrissy smiled over at her roommate as they jogged slowly around the indoor track. The snow had dissipated a little and the weather was chilly, but felt good.
"I want to, besides, I wanted to talk with you about me and Jason." She glanced toward Chrissy as they made their fifth lap. "How's your knee though? You know not to overdo it."
"I'm good. What's up with my brother?"
"I want to tell him about all that shit from UCLA, but I just can't. I told him last night that I'd like to be good friends for a while and if something happens over the spring or summer that pulls us closer that I won't fight it."
"Oh wow. How did he respond to that?" Chrissy asked, her chest aching over the pseudo rejection her brother must have felt. He was a good guy and would treat Elizabeth so well, but she needed to work into them slowly, which made sense.
"He was great about it. He said that he loved the idea. I wanted to press into him to see what his past looked like, but I guess that's something that happens once you get to know someone, you know, over time." She shrugged.
"Yeah. I still need to get to know Ryan. I feel like everything happened so fast." Chrissy adverted her gaze, the hot pain of loss rising in her chest and leaving her feeling weak again. "I miss him far more than I should."
"I don't think getting to know someone fully is a requirement for falling in love. Sometimes it happens slowly, like what could happen with me and Jason and sometimes it's like a tidal wave that you didn't expect. That's you and Ryan."
"I guess. I hate the fact that I can't seem to concentrate on anything for more than a few minutes without my thoughts racing back to him."
"That's natural. Stop beating yourself up." Elizabeth stopped and Chrissy turned, slowing her jog.
"What's the matter?"
"Your friend Aileen." Elizabeth pointed and Chrissy turned, hearing the soft sobs of her friend.
"Oh no." Chrissy jogged toward her friend, pulling the pretty girl into a hug. "What's the matter?”
"Nothing. Just being a girl." Aileen pressed her face against Chrissy's shoulder.
Elizabeth waved and winked, walking the other way. The girl was too perceptive to people's needs. She was going to be so good for Jason. Chrissy just hoped they could both press through their sordid pasts to give each other a chance. One of them would have to eventually move the friendship into something more or it would remain just a friendship forever, which would be such a tragedy.
"Doesn't sound like nothing." Chrissy moved back and put her hands on her friend's shoulders. Aileen was a lot like her and rarely had she seen the girl cry. No one witnessed Chrissy's emotional break-downs. No one. She always made sure she was in the shower to let herself go.
After hearing the distance in Ryan's voice on their one phone call in a week, she had spent a few too many showers crying herself sick.
"It's Tyler… I just... I just don't need this crap."
"No, you don't."
Aileen sighed. "Sorry. I don’t mean to lay this on you. Things have just gotten really complicated since the Pinstripe Bowl. Him being MVP was great, but he's starting to get seriously courted by the NFL. I'm excited for him, but he's worried that if he focuses on anything but that..." She paused and pressed her fingers to her lips as tears dripped onto her cheeks.
"It's okay. I'm here." Chrissy moved to the side of her friend, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and walking over to sit on the stands. The benches were insanely cold and Chrissy's short running shorts didn't help much, but it wasn't a time to bitch about anything. Aileen had been a great friend to her since she got on campus. Time to return the favor.
"He doesn't want us to see much of each other until the dust settles with this NFL thing. He's in the draft for sure, so it's going to be a while." She inhaled a shaky breath. “He said,” her voice dropped to a whisper as she fought back more tears. “He said that we could see each other at track meets and stuff, but he needed a bit of time to himself.”
"That's bullshit! You can't just sit around and see if his dreams work out while you wait for him. If he does get drafted, which is going to happen, then are you guys together or not?" Chrissy huffed softly, anger rising in her chest over how stupid guys could be.
Would Ryan pull the same crap? He was up for drafting by the NHL as well. Would the distance between them leave him wanting to simply focus on that part of his future instead of that and them? She tucked the thought away, not wanting to drown in the fact that he seemed a million miles away and she had already lost him.
"I honestly don't know. He said that we can hang out from time to time, but he needs to stay focused on his football career for now."
"By hang out... he's not talking about having sex and nothing else, right?"
"No. He's not that type of guy. He told me this morning that I need to think about moving on. He's worried that I'll sit around waiting for him instead of living my life."
"Why can’t you love him and live your life at the same time."
"I said that, but he just looked at me and said my name in that way he does. Like I'm being too simple in my thoughts." She shrugged and wiped at her eyes.
Chrissy turned at the sound of someone approaching. Coach Anderson. The man was old enough to be her father and yet he was beyond handsome. She kept her arm around Aileen, but squeezed her friend's shoulder to let her know someone was approaching.
"Girls. How are you? It's freezing in here. That why you’re shaking?” He smiled and stopped in front of them.
"Just need some heat," Chrissy responded absently.
"Everything okay?" Anderson asked, his gaze moving from Chrissy to Aileen.
"It's okay. Just lamenting over boys. I'm not thinking you want to see this, Coach." Aileen let out a soft laugh, but it dissipated quickly.
"My boys are all grown, so no more of that." He paused and moved to sit down on the bench in front of them. "I am a boy though. An old one, but I still get to wear that badge. Anything I can help you through?"
"Just trying to figure out how to love someone that loves their talent more than us, Coach. I'm sure it’s the battle cry of most of the people in our programs."
"Ahhh... yes. It most certainly is. I think what the guys fail to realize is that love can be a source of strength instead of a distraction. When we realize that we get our man badges. Did you girls know we get those?"
Aileen chuckled and Chrissy joined her before responding. "I think you're right. Using that love or lust, the devotion or desire to fuel us to be better athletes would work. It always seems like a one or the other decision though."
"Because we complicate everything. You have legs, so you run. You work hard, so you succeed. You cultivate a relationship, so you cause it to grow and strengthen, which allows it to become the center of your strength.”
He stood and stretched. "I have to run to a meeting. I came by to give you some good news, Chrissy."
"What's that?" Chrissy asked, releasing Aileen and wrapping her arms around herself.
