My eyes widen, my breath hitches in my chest. My world tilts sideways as I allow her words to register. “Are you saying…what I think you’re saying?” My mind feels like mush. I can barely formulate a sentence let alone put two and two together.
“That’s right, honey.” She nods, worry painted over her entire face like a dark mask. “The man you’re dating…he’s my son.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
Colton
“Come on; it will only take a minute,” I urge Carter on to the field with me to pitch the first ball. Problem is the kid has gone frozen on me and won’t get out of his seat.
“You go ahead I’ll watch you from here. I’ll even cheer you on,” he answers nervously, and I realize he doesn’t want that much attention on him. I sometimes forget the amount of attention I get being a public figure. My life is my normal, but it clearly isn’t normal by the moonstruck look on this kid‘s face.
“Okay. I expect to hear that cheer though.” I lift a finger and warn playfully. I want his day to be fun. He’s a great kid. I guess he’s very mature for his age. I want him to like me which is an odd feeling for me because I have no experience with kids other than the second-grade class I visited a few weeks ago. Besides, I find his honesty refreshing, and I like hanging out with him. His world is happy, and he’s content. He can just be a kid. I guess I love watching him being a kid because I never got a real chance.
I head out to the field and shake the hand of today’s pitcher. The first player is already set and ready to go in front of the umpire in the batter’s box. It will be an intense game tonight since the Cubs are playing the White Sox, both Chicago teams. The White Sox feel like they have something to prove and now they have me pitching the first practice ball. I throw the first ball. The umpire calls strike one, and the crowd goes wild. Now I feel the pressure even more. I pitch again and this time ball one is called. Shit! I’m trying to look like a hero for the kid, and this isn’t boding well for me. I want him to go home to his mother saying what a great guy I am because I like her and for the first time in my life I want this relationship to work.
I pitch another ball this time using a slight curve to the inside corner which I know may throw this player off. Yes! It works, the umpire calls strike two. I glance over to Carter, and he’s full out cheering in his seat his hands waving in the air. The coach motions to the pitcher that I’m done. Okay,I nod. I’ve done my job. I shake his hand, we smile for the cameras, and then I’m back to my seat.
“Wow! That was so cool.” Carter’s voice is cheerful as I sit back in my seat. “They should have let you pitch one more. You would have totally gotten that guy out.” He’s smiling and so sure.
“Thanks, bud.” I ruffle the top of his hair. “They usually only let me throw the first ball. I threw three today, so that was pushing it even though I did a bang-up job.”
“Yeah, if you stop being governor then maybe you can find a job in baseball. That would be so cool, and I could say I knew one of the Cubs personally.”
I laugh. His enthusiasm is endearing. “I never thought about playing ball. I’m better at golf than baseball, but I’ll consider it.”
A guy selling pop and popcorn comes by, and I buy each of us a Coke and popcorn.
“Mom doesn’t let me drink Coke. She says it can stunt my growth because of the caffeine.”
“Crap! Sorry. I can get you something else to drink,” I offer.
“No way. I love Coke. Sometimes my dad lets me drink Coke. He says if I drink it once in awhile it won’t stop me from growing,” he says, then pops his can open and chugs the can down. “I usually come to ball games with my dad, but this has been real fun. Thanks for bringing me.”
“Yeah, sure. I’m glad you could make it. This is fun for me too,” I answer. When Carter speaks of his dad, it makes me curious. I know he’s Evie’s best friend and they share a child. From the sounds of it, he’s a good guy. I don’t understand why the thought of him makes me feel uncomfortable. I don’t have too much time to process my thoughts because out of the corner of my eye I notice a picture of Carter and me on the giant jumbotron screen meaning we will be on TV. Whoa! Talk about public exposure.
I point to the screen and Carter looks up. “Holy crap.” He claps his hand over his mouth. “I…mean…” he murmurs. “I’m sorry, you won’t tell my mom I said that will you?” He looks to me with worry in his young blue eyes.
“Your secret is safe with me.” I wink then look around to make sure my detail is close by. I asked them to keep a distance earlier since I didn’t want Carter feeling like going out with me would be strange. As I check our surroundings, I realize that the guy standing behind me is snapping a picture of Carter and me with his phone. Holy crap! I repeat Carter’s words in my head. This isn’t good.
“Hey, no pictures, man. Besides he’s a minor, so you better not be posting that anywhere,” I say with a stern voice even though I try to keep things friendly.
“Who’s the kid? I’m with US Weekly. Care to make a statement?” He holds his phone out to me. I cuss under my breath. Thatch, one of the men on my detail, comes up to the gentleman and gently escorts him away.
“Rumor has it that you’re dating someone and it’s serious. Is this her son? Have you set a date to marry?” the reporter shouts as Thatch hauls him away from us. I clench my jaw together because I didn’t need Carter hearing all those questions. His mom told him I was her friend for now and I wanted to respect what Evie wanted.
I don’t have time to come up with an answer when Carter asks, “Are you and my mom going to get married?” His voice sounds a little awestruck and maybe even worried.
A small chortle escapes my lips. “Your mom is a real nice lady. I like spending time with the two of you. If it’s okay, I’d like to continue spending time with you guys,” I answer and I know I’m deflecting the real question. I hate to deflect with Carter, but I haven’t thought about marriage. Like ever.
“Cool. We like to hang out with you too,” he answers and smiles then returns his attention to the game satisfied with my answer. If the thought hadn’t crossed my mind before now, it was planted in my head. Marriage…me, Evie, and Carter. The idea didn’t unsettle me at all. I waited for the panic to rise in my chest as I pictured us as a family. Only the alarm never took root. Instead, I got a warm feeling in my chest as I thought of quiet nights at home with Evie and Carter by a warm fire. I don’t know why the picture of a fireplace came to mind, only that whenever I thought of a real-life family, they were happy, they were sitting around a coffee table playing games, and the warmth of a fireplace radiated through the room. I let out a long breath almost feeling relief. I had run from relationships all my teenage and adult life. It felt good not to want to run anymore.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Evie
Veronica is patting me on the back since the biscotti I was chewing on went down the wrong tube. I lift a hand to tell her to stop and reach for my café au lait to wash the harsh chunks of biscotti down my throat.
“What did you just say?” I must have misunderstood because I swear I just read Veronica’s lips and watched her sign that Colton was her son.
“I’m sorry Evie,” she signs, and she looks like she’s almost in tears. “Jake knew I was born and grew up in Chicago. I just couldn’t bring myself to tell him that his father was a bad man, so I told him I was inseminated…” she shakes her head as tears fill her eyes.
“Veronica, my goodness. This is…I mean I know Jake always wondered about his dad even though he thought he was just a sperm donor…” I trail off, my hands falling into my lap. I feel winded and out of sorts even though I don’t have all the pieces to this story together in my mind. Veronica holds her head in between her two hands, pressing her hairline high. She looks completely distraught.
She turns to me so I can see her. “I lied to Jake, Evie. I couldn’t tell him that his father didn’t want him, so I lied,” she says, and I suddenly hate that we are having this conv
ersation in a public place. I should have never brought it up here because I feel sick to my stomach.
“Oh my gosh.” I hold my stomach as I feel the sting of vomit at the back of my throat. “His father…he was like my mom. Didn’t want to deal with having a child that was deaf?” As the words leave my mouth, my heart aches for Jake. It was so much easier knowing there wasn’t a male figure in his life because of his mom’s choice, but this changes everything. Knowing your parent didn’t want you or was ashamed of you, does things to your insides, your psyche, things that are so dark and miserable that I hate for Jake to feel those emotions.
Veronica nods. “We didn’t know Jake couldn’t hear at first. By the time he was two, it had become clear he was born deaf. We had done some initial hearing tests on him, and the results were inconclusive. They thought maybe he had fluid in his ears that was distorting the tests. His father had a hard time accepting Jake was deaf. He became angry about it. He was mostly in denial. We drifted apart, and one night things just blew up. I was about to take a bath. I lit some candles in my room and in the bathroom to try and relax. Things had just gotten so bad between James and me. James had plans. He didn’t want me spending all my time dealing with a deaf child when he wanted to run for the role of the state attorney. He wanted me to be the epitome of first lady dedicating my time outside our home but with two small boys…” she explained, and I could see her shaking. “I’ve made some terrible choices in my life. I was young, naïve, James swept me off my feet. I didn’t realize what his thirst for power meant. I didn’t even know people would go to such extremes to get power. We were drifting apart not coming closer together. He wanted to take a step back from his role at the firm and run for state attorney. He had always aspired to become president. His family wealth was never enough to satiate him; neither were his accomplishments in the legal field. The night he sent me away we fought. In his rage, he knocked over a candle. We were screaming so loud at each other that we didn’t notice the material cover of the dresser catch fire. It spread to the curtains, and everything just began burning.” She was trembling so hard I didn’t know what to do. “Oh Evie,” she sighed so sadly.
I swallow hard trying to digest her words, but the coffee shop feels like it’s spinning.
“He told me to get Jake from his nursery, and he would save Colton, but the fire spread so fast, the house had filled with smoke,” she paused swiping at the tears from her eyes. “I grabbed Jake and ran through the smoke-filled house. I accidentally hit his shoulder on a corner wall. Since it had metal casing inside the frame, it was burning hot. That’s how Jake got his scar.”
I watch Veronica as she signed and her mouth moved. Her story was too much to process. It wasn’t what I expected to find out when I confronted her about the burn. Not in my wildest dreams would I think that Colton and Jake were brothers. I just thought she was hiding something else. Something a lot simpler than the devastating story she just shared. Watching her talk about Jake and Colton makes my stomach feel hollow especially when I remember Colton’s harsh words for his mother. A woman he hated. A woman that left him behind and never looked back. How could sweet loving Veronica be that woman?
“I am so sorry for everything you’ve been through. I feel like such a fool for digging this up now. I was just trying to look out for Jake…”
“Don’t blame yourself. I don’t blame you.” Her smile was sad. “I’m glad that you care enough about Jake to look out for him the way you do. It’s important to me for you to know that I didn’t plan on leaving the night of the fire. When we reached the curb, James told me to take Jake and leave. I had nothing Evie, just the clothes on my back and a two-year-old son in my hands. James told me never to return. I begged and pleaded with him to let me take Colton, but he said that if I ever tried to contact Colton, he would contact one of Jeffrey Davis’s boys to kill us.”
My mouth went dry at the thought that Colton was left with such a cruel man. In our conversations together he was always sad about his mom leaving him, but he was grateful to have his father. The name Jeffrey Davis sends sirens going off in my head. Then it clicks. He’s one of Chicago’s most notorious drug dealers. “The drug dealer?” I ask for confirmation.
“Yes, James was a defense attorney. He knew all kinds of bad people, Evie. He defended murderers, drug dealers. Jeffrey Davis was loyal to James because James was top notch and kept him out of jail. You see, James wanted to enter politics, but his past was shady. He knew that if he entered politics, his opponents could find things out that would end his career before it even started. He was blinded by rage, greed, and power when he told me to leave. I didn’t have a choice. I didn’t want either of my boys getting hurt. I know Colton is governor now. I hated that Jake wanted to move back to this city. It’s why I didn’t want to come with him. I figured it was better I stayed away. Only I missed you guys so much. I figured enough time passed. Only the first night I’m back I hear you’re dating my other son.”
As her words penetrate, I remember her reaction to hearing I was dating the governor. The wine glass she had been drinking from fell from her hand and broke into small shards of glass. “Shit.” I bite my lip. I’m speechless. In the moments after she broke the glass, I believed she was shocked that the governor would want me. A deaf girl. In reality, her odd reaction had been because I was dating her other son.
“James is a bad man, Evie. I hate that you’re involved with Colton. I know he’s my son, but he was raised by a man whose endgame is power. I can’t imagine how that poor boy was raised.” She shakes her head, and I see the guilt seeping through her pores. Jake and Veronica lead such simple lives out in California I would never have thought that Jake’s father was James Mathis. James Mathis was old money. His father started a chocolate company in the early 1900’s, and the wealth only blossomed and matured from there. I hate that I know this information, but I had to google Colton. I was letting him into my home and around my son. Now I just feel guilty for looking him up because he’s a good man. No matter who his father is, Colton is different.
I shake my head then sign. “Veronica you would be proud of him. He’s a good person. He does a lot of charitable things,” I begin when I see that she’s shaking her head.
“Oh honey, the rich are always involved in charity. That doesn’t mean they’re good.”
“Veronica, you’re wrong. Colton is a good man. He thinks you didn’t want him though. He has trust issues.” I feel like my insides are bursting. I can’t say those things to Veronica. Those are Colton’s secrets. He wouldn’t want me to share.
Veronica places her hand over mine. “Honey, listen. You can’t tell Colton. You can’t tell Jake. If James found out that I told the boys the truth he would have me and Jake killed,” she says, and I see the fear in her eyes. She isn’t playing a game. She is scared senseless.
“Those boys are grown, men. James raised Colton. You raised Jake, but they are living their own lives now. You can’t surely believe that James is still a threat?”
“He is, Evie. Don’t you think I hate this? Don’t you think I’ve thought about Colton all these years? How he’s getting by? You couldn’t possibly understand the guilt I felt for leaving him behind. Then Carter was born, and he looked so much like Colton as a boy, those light blue eyes looking back at me were always a reminder of the son I left behind. Colton has always been in my heart and soul.” She shakes her head, and I see that she’s trembling as she lifts her coffee cup to her lips. “I had no choice. I feared for Jake’s life. I still do. I hate that Jake lives in this city. I wish you guys could have settled in Seattle, San Francisco, Portland… Jake was insistent on Chicago. It made me so nervous knowing you all lived here.”
My hand comes up to my face when I remember the first time I saw Colton. Jake and I were being foolish and almost got arrested throwing cream pies at the governor with a bunch of other protesters. Jake didn’t know the truth. He didn’t know the governor was his brother. Gosh! This is so freaking messed up.
“I can’t, Evie. If you love Jake and you want to ensure his safety you won’t say anything,” she pleads with me.
“I told Jake that I didn’t think he got his scar from riding his bike. I put doubt in his mind. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know…” I begin to apologize.
“You couldn’t have known, sweet girl. You were always so perceptive. I know you love Jake, please…please help me keep him safe.”
“You can’t surely believe that James is still a threat?”
“Evie, tell me one thing. Does James want Colton to run for the presidency?”
I sigh. “Yes, but Colton doesn’t want to run. He hates the pressure his father puts on him. You know he used to volunteer for the Peace Corps?” I add because I want Veronica to see that Colton is a good man too.
“You’re falling for him, Evie, aren’t you?” Her question looks more like defeat. At least that’s what her features are telling me. As she asks me the question, I know that yes, I’m falling hard for Colton Mathis.
She closes her eyes and nods her head. When she opens her eyes, she pleads with me. “I know I’ve put you in a bad position by telling you all this. But I also know that you wouldn’t put Jake’s life at risk. I wouldn’t put it past James to harm Carter. I want to tell you that it would be best if you broke things off with Colton but I sense your attachment.”
“Veronica…I…” I don’t know what to say. Hearing her mention that Carter could be in danger just about guts me. “We need to get out of here. I need some air.” I look around the coffee place cautiously to make sure no one overheard the conversation.
“Sure.” She smiles warmly but the guilt and fear creases at the corner of her eyes. We leave the coffee shop and the fresh air isn’t enough to release the tension I feel in my chest. Jake and I don’t keep secrets. It’s a simple fact. We’ve stayed close friends because we are open and honest with each other. Our friendship is based on the fact that we share with each other openly. Even if we know the other person won’t like the opinion much. It’s why Jake felt so comfortable to give me his opinion on Colton. As I think of Colton my stomach turns, he just opened himself up to me. Trust is such a big thing for him too. I know he hasn’t trusted the other women he’s dated but he promised to take a chance on me. I told him I was trustworthy. How can I keep this from him? If he ever found out, he would hate me. Our relationship would be over. Problem is Veronica is not a drama queen. I believe every word she said about James being a bad man and using his connections. I could never live with myself if something happened to Jake or Colton. I can’t believe that Jake and Colton are brothers. I’ve slept with two brothers. It just seems wrong. They don’t look much alike. I would never have guessed it. I walk down the street with Veronica feeling out of sorts.
Mr. All Wrong Page 15
