“I do,” he confirmed, “but only if you want that, as well.”
“I do,” she said. “I’ve been fighting the same feelings.”
He pulled her in against him for a hug, but encouraged her to continue with her feelings.
“You’ve done things no one else ever has, and it means a lot to me. I’ve fought the feelings that have resulted from that, though, reminding myself that you’re only doing those things because I’m your client, and you’re getting paid to do them. When you’re done you’ll leave, and those things will leave, too.”
“What things are you talking about, honey?”
“Talking to me, for one,” she answered quickly. “I mean, you’ve helped me sort out feelings I didn’t know I had, and now I can deal with them. But you’ve also helped me feel good about myself. I don’t remember ever having feelings like this before. I know that sounds crazy, but it’s true.”
Jason kissed the top of her head. He’d suspected that, but wasn’t about to say much about it right now. He listened closely as she continued. “You’ve cared about me; about what I do. I know it’s because you’ve been hired to help me learn how to act toward other people, but I’ve had the impression you’re helping me not just because it’s your job, but because you care about me.”
“I do. I have from the moment I met you at the airport lounge.”
“Seriously?”
“Absolutely,” he confirmed. “You made a strong impression on me from the moment we met. And I have wanted to help you. Everything I told you is true, Cheyenne. I see so much potential in you, and I want to see you achieve that. Are there any other things you’re talking about that I’ve done, related to the program, that have made you have feelings for me?”
“You understand me,” she said simply. “There have been several times when you’ve known something was on my mind, or you knew I was upset when I was trying to hide it. How did you do that?”
He smiled at the spitfire on his lap. “You were trying to hide the fact you were upset? Haven’t we talked about that, young lady?”
“Yes, but don’t change the subject. I’ll admit I tried to hide it a couple times, but it didn’t matter. You always knew. How?”
“Partly because I’ve cared about you personally, not just as a client. I’ve paid closer attention to you because I care so much about you. I watch everything you do.”
“Then I don’t understand. Why can’t we do both? Why can’t you keep helping me while we get to know each other?”
Jason thought for a long moment. “Are you saying you would still be willing to work with me on this program, even if we are also exploring a relationship between us?”
“I’m not just willing, Jason. I would like it. There have been a couple times I wanted to tell you something else about how I was feeling, but I couldn’t, because it involved feelings for you that I didn’t think I should be having.”
Jason nodded, understanding what she was saying. He took some time to think things through before making a suggestion. “Okay, let’s talk about this a few minutes. I want to be sure I understand your feelings. Do you want to work with me and finish this program?”
“Absolutely.”
“Good. Do you have feelings for me, and would you like to explore those feelings, see if a relationship between us would work?”
“Very much so, yes.”
“Then you need to understand something. I believe the man is the head of any family, or relationship, and that would include any relationship we would have. That doesn’t mean I would be a dictator, though. I believe we would have to work together, but if we have a disagreement about something I would ask for your reasons for your opinion. I would then tell you mine and we would discuss it. If, however, we still disagree, I would make the decision, based on what I believe would be best for both of us. You should know, though, that I see my main responsibility in the relationship as you. It’s my responsibility to keep you safe, healthy, and happy. Happy is very important to me. Making all decisions based only on what I want won’t keep you happy, and I know that. All decisions I make would be with your happiness and best interests in mind.”
Cheyenne was listening carefully, and nodded, but he could tell she wasn’t totally convinced.
“I know that’s going to be hard for you to fathom how it will work, and the only thing I can tell you is you have to be able to trust me. It will take time for you to see that I have your best interests in mind, so you’re going to have to be able to trust me at first. Do you think you’ll be able to do that?”
She nodded enthusiastically. “I do. You’ve done a lot of things already that make me trust you, so I don’t think that will be a problem. I can’t say I’ll be okay with you having the last say on things, but I can tell you I can trust you enough to give it a chance.”
Jason leaned forward and kissed her cheek. “Thank you, Cheyenne, that’s all I’m asking for right now. You need to know something else, too, though, if we’re going to give this a chance. I also see one of my main responsibilities in a relationship as guiding you. I will pay close attention to you, and if I see you going down a path I think is either dangerous to your safety or your happiness, I will step in.”
“Step in how?”
“Step in however I need to. The first thing I’ll do is talk to you, tell you my concern and why. But then you should know that I will do whatever I feel I have to in order to make sure you’re safe and happy.”
She was quiet as she looked down for so long he was starting to worry. When she finally lifted her face to look at him she asked, “Pretty much like what you’ve been doing since I met you?”
“Yes, a lot like that,” he said, not wanting to hide anything from her.
“So if we start dating, you’re telling me that even after I finish this program, you’ll keep doing what you’ve been doing the whole time I’ve known you, while I’ve been developing strong feelings for you?”
He couldn’t help the big smile on his face. “That’s exactly what I’m saying, yes.”
“Promise?” she asked as she wrapped her arms around his neck.
“Promise,” he assured her, taking her face in his hands for a kiss that left no doubt as to his feelings for her.
When he ended the kiss he asked, “You’re okay with that?”
Her mischievous grin he loved so much made another appearance. “With what? With you paying a lot of attention to me and caring enough to help me, letting me know I’m no longer on my own; or with that kiss? Because the answer is yes, I’m fine with both.”
Her answer prompted another kiss, which turned urgent and passionate. Afterward, he again directed her head to his chest and shoulder, and she allowed it this time. “Just so there’s no question about it, that also means anytime you earn a spanking you will get one. Is that understood?”
“It is,” she answered quickly. “But you’re a good leader. Look how many fewer I get now than when we started this. I’m assuming that will keep decreasing. Do you see that happening, as well?”
He had his serious face again when he answered. “I told you when we started this that I will not lie to you, and I meant that, too, Cheyenne. I mean it for any relationship we have, as well, not just while we’re working this program together.”
She looked nervous, but nodded. “I appreciate that.”
“Yes, I do see it decreasing, but I won’t lie to you; I don’t see them ending. That’s not because you’re a bad person, because you’re not. It’s because you are a feisty little thing, which is one of the things I fell in love with. You have a feisty, independent streak in you, and you’re not afraid to say what you think. I respect you for that, but at the same time, I won’t allow you to get hurt. Your lack of fear may become an issue from time to time.”
She was listening closely, and considered his words before nodding.
“And then there’s your temper.”
“I know, I know,” she admitted. “But you’re going to help me get a
handle on those.”
“Yes, I will,” he agreed. “No matter how many spankings it takes.” He laughed at the expression on her face. “The reason I’m being so upfront and honest with you is because I want you to know what you’re getting yourself into if you want a relationship. I want you to know I will do what I can to protect you from anything that threatens your safety, your health, or your happiness. But that will from time to time mean I’m protecting you from yourself, and that’s very apt to include a spanking.”
“Okay,” she said. “But will it also include you listening to what I say, like you’re really interested in it, and watching out for me, stopping me if I start getting myself in trouble, and making me feel special? Because those are also things you’ve done, and I don’t want those to end.”
He chuckled and gave her a quick kiss on her nose. “So you’re saying you’ll take the bad, if you also get the good?”
“Exactly,” she said with a smile.
“Count on it,” he assured her. They sat in comfortable silence, holding onto each other, letting the reality of their situation sink in.
“So what now?” she eventually asked.
“I’ll talk to Dan tomorrow morning.”
“What are you going to tell him?”
“I’ll tell him we have feelings for each other and want to explore them. I’ll tell him I’ll finish the program, but I will no longer take any payment for it. If he’s okay with that, we’ll continue as we have been and finish the program. We’ll talk more as we get closer to the end of the program, and decide what we want to do. There’ll be plenty of time to make plans for us afterward. For now I want us both to focus on your program. You’re meeting this new client on Monday and when you do, I want you to be able to focus on him and your work, and not on us.”
“You’ll be there with me, though, won’t you?”
“I will, but not as the man you’re dating. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
“I do, and I’m good with that. I want to finish this program for so many reasons, and I don’t want our relationship to jeopardize that, either.”
“Good. You’ve got me curious now. What are these reasons you have for wanting to finish the program?”
“I feel like the reasons keep growing, but I’ll tell you the ones I can think of. For the first time, I feel good about myself. For the first time, I feel happy. I finally feel like I’m seeing something through, not quitting when it gets rough. I really like what I do, and I think I’m good at it.”
“I agree,” he added quickly.
“I want to keep this job, but I know Dan had every reason to fire me, and I know he’s right that I probably wouldn’t be able to get another job in this field in this area. And—” She looked down as her face blushed.
“And what, honey?”
Looking up at him shyly, she finished her thought. “I really like how I feel when I know you’re proud of me. It encourages me. I want to finish this program for me, but I also know it’ll make you proud of me, and I love that feeling.”
He pulled her close against his chest and laid his cheek on her head. His little lady hadn’t received nearly enough praise growing up, but that would change now that he was free to start a relationship with her. “I am proud of you, honey, for way more than you realize.”
She looked up at him with a question in her eyes, but simply relaxed back against him with a smile on her face. After some quiet cuddling, she looked up at him. “So if we’re dating now, am I allowed to ask you some personal questions?”
“You can,” he said with a chuckle.
“Good. I have so many questions about you.”
“Like what?”
“Like what exactly do you do? I mean, I know about this, but is this all you do, or do you do something in between the women you work with?”
“This is kind of a side job,” he explained. “I won’t be doing it any more now, though, since we’re in a relationship. But yes, I have a full-time job.”
“How do you get off work for extended periods of time to do this?”
“I have my own business, so that makes it much easier.”
“Oh, that’s convenient,” she said. “What do you do? What kind of business is it?”
He hesitated a moment, then squeezed her a bit in his arms. “I’m a psychologist.”
Her head flew up to look at him. He watched as she thought that through, and as she relaxed a bit. “I guess that makes sense,” she finally said. “That’s why you’re able to do what you do.” She thought a bit longer. “I take it you’re a clinical psychologist?”
“I am.”
“Do you have any specialties?”
He wasn’t sure he was happy with where her questions were going. “Specialties?”
“Yeah. Do you have a master’s degree?”
“I do.”
“What did you do your thesis on?”
“Why all these questions?”
“I talked to a lady who had her doctorate in psychology, and she said if you go for your master’s degree or higher you pick a field you’re particularly interested in and that’s what you concentrate on. She said it kind of becomes your specialty.” She paused, then asked, “Do you have a doctorate?”
“Would it matter?”
“What do you mean?”
“Will it matter to you either way? Will you be upset or disappointed if I answer one way or the other?”
“I don’t think so. I’m just curious. I mean, you’re really good. I get now how you were able to tell when I was thinking about something. I’m just curious what your area of expertise is. I want to know what I got myself into when I developed these feelings for you.”
He laughed at her spunk. “What you got yourself into?”
“Yes. How deep into sh—into trouble have I gotten myself?”
“Nice catch,” he praised. “Yes, I have my doctorate. So, now that you know that, is it a problem for you?”
“Why do you ask, Dr. Jenkins?”
“For exactly that reason. If it’s a problem, we’re going to talk about it. Jason is the one who’s falling in love with you, Cheyenne, not Dr. Jenkins. I want you always to think of me as Jason.”
She nodded after several seconds. “I understand, Jason, and that is how I think of you. I won’t lie; I did feel a bit overwhelmed at first, but you made a good point. I’ve been falling in love with Jason all along. I didn’t even know Dr. Jenkins existed, so if Jason is the one who’s got feelings for me, I’m okay with it.”
“Good.”
“You’re not getting out of it that easy, though. I still want to know, what’s your area of expertise?”
He looked at her carefully, with a guarded expression. “No, I’m not real sure you do want to know,” he said with a little chuckle.
“Yes, I do,” she insisted. “Tell me what your specialty is.”
He sighed and held her in his arms a bit tighter as he said, “Behavior modification.”
“Well, shit,” she said immediately.
He leaned down and gave her a solid swat on her bottom, but only one. “That language will not be permitted after you finish the program, either, just so you know.” He couldn’t totally hide his grin. “I’m anxious to hear your explanation for that outburst, though, my little brat.”
She reached back and rubbed her bottom, smiling. “Sorry. But think about this a minute. I, Miss Anything but Congeniality, finally found a man I’m interested in, and he’s got a doctorate in behavior modification! I sure know how to pick ’em, don’t I?”
Jason was outright laughing now. “It all goes back to what I said about you being such a smart little lady. You know what you need, or what’s good for you.” He caught her fist that was aimed directly at his arm, and pulled her in for another kiss.
“I’m actually serious about that, you know,” he said after their kiss. “You are a very smart little lady, and I find your intelligence to be refreshing. We’ve had some really good conversation
s that I’ve enjoyed very much. But it also takes an intelligent, brave, and strong person to admit they need, and to accept this kind of help. That hasn’t been lost on me, either.”
“You don’t think it makes me weak?”
“Not in the least,” he assured her. “To the contrary, it takes a very strong person, which you are.”
“Thank you,” she said sincerely. She leaned against him again, finding his chest to be a most comfortable spot. After a little while, she broke the peaceful silence, talking quietly as if to herself. “I still can’t believe I did that. Of all the people I could have chosen, I pick someone with a doctorate in behavior modification.”
She was still leaning against his chest and heard and felt his low chuckle. “Yep, you sure did,” he said just as quietly. “And of all the people I could have chosen to fall in love with, I chose a little spitfire that’s bound to test my skills.”
“You can bet on it, Doctor. This spitfire has no intention of making your life easy.”
“Or boring,” he said. “At least that’s what I’m counting on.”
Now she chuckled. They spent the evening cuddling and enjoying their newfound freedom to share their feelings.
Chapter 11
Jason left early to go back to his condo. He called Dan and told him there’s been a new development and he needed to talk to him. They made arrangements to meet first thing in the morning.
Cheyenne was ready and waiting the next morning when he got there at 8:20. “I’m glad you’re dressed and ready to go,” he told her. “We’re meeting with Dan at 9:00.”
“We? I thought you were going to talk to him.”
“I am, but I want you there with me. I want him to see how much you’ve changed, and to know you’re planning to finish the program, and not just to keep your job.”
“So I should be on my best behavior?”
“Indeed you should,” Jason said. “I think it goes without me telling you, but just because we’re dating now doesn’t mean the spankings will be any lighter.” He grinned as he added, “Just in case you decide this morning would be a good time to have a temper tantrum.”
Cheyenne and Jason (Last Chance Program Book 1) Page 14
