On her way back, she dawdled, not eager to return to the group. The situation with Niall was troubling her. She was sure she hadn’t done anything to mislead him, but she also didn’t want him to end up being hurt. He was a good person – albeit slightly pushy – and he deserved to be happy. She decided to go outside instead, and stalked in the direction of the big glass doors. But she still had her eye on the group, wondering if Niall was going to leave it, and the next thing she knew, a white T-shirt swam right into her field of vision. Two big hands gripped her shoulders and a deep, strong voice said, “again?”
Her breath caught in her throat as she looked up, right into a pair of familiar, twinkling blue eyes.
“Olsen!” she exclaimed.
13
“At least you didn’t faint this time,” Olsen said, his eyes bright with mischief as he gently released her. Dolores was dimly aware that her heart was beating uncomfortably fast. She frowned. He was looking at her so softly; this guy who hadn’t even cared enough to reply to her message.
Olsen began to frown too. “What’s wrong?” he said.
She raised her hands and dropped them again. “Nothing. Except where I come from, when you invite somebody to a thank-you dinner, you expect them to at least message you to tell you that they’re not interested.”
Olsen’s jaw dropped for a second, then he clamped it shut, the muscles twitching. “You sent me a message?”
“Come on! You know I did. You’ve been online,” she snapped in exasperation.
“I’m sorry. I’ve been away for a few days. I didn’t have my phone with me. Actually, I’m leaving Hope Valley. I just came back to say goodbye.”
Dolores’s stomach flipped. “But – but why?” she blurted out. Just then, Olsen took a giant step forward, almost smashing into her. And everything got very confused. Niall appeared from nowhere and now seemed to be on Olsen’s back, wrestling him to the ground. She watched Olsen fall down backwards, as if he was allowing Niall to get the upper hand, then Niall leapt on top of him. Niall looked wild. His eyes had a crazy, feral look, and the bones in his face seemed to have expanded.
“You’re not having her!” he roared. “She’s mine! She’s not yours.”
“What?” Dolores murmured, staring at them.
“Niall, get the hell off me,” Olsen said in a more measured tone. But Niall had gripped his shoulders, and began to pound him against the floor, over and over, snarling and growling the whole time. As she watched in horrified fascination, bits of fur began to sprout from the exposed areas of his skin. “Not until you promise to keep your hands off her!” he bellowed.
Spots of blood appeared on the shoulders of Olsen’s white T-shirt, right where Niall’s fingers had turned into claws.
“I haven’t got my hands on anyone!” Olsen said loudly.
“Leave Dolores alone! I’m not losing another mate. She’s mine. I saw her first. And you’re not good enough for her! You dumb bear! You can’t even write a civilized message!”
At last, Olsen let off a snarl and, raising his massive body off the floor, he flipped Niall like he weighed nothing, and threw him onto his back.
“Don’t you dare call me dumb!” he bellowed. Then he took hold of Niall and shook him like a rag doll. “Screw you, Niall! I’m leaving anyway. I’m done with Hope Valley, and all of you messing with my life and making me feel like I’m not worthy of the clan. Do whatever you want!” He got up, leaving Niall lying prostrate on the ground, and heaved his way out of the room, scattering people as he went.
Dolores stood, motionless, looking from Niall’s crumpled form to the gap Olsen has left in his wake. What the hell just happened? Niall thinks I’m his? He thinks Olsen’s stolen me from him? And now Olsen is leaving Hope Valley? None of this makes any sense.
And then something else occurred to her. Something that made a lot of other things make sense.
She started running, through the path that Olsen had made, through the entrance to the barn and out to the parking lot.
Olsen’s pick-up was screeching out of the lot, pulling a sharp left onto the main road. Dolores sprinted over to her Honda, jumped in, and followed him.
Battered though it was, her car had a good engine, and she pushed it to 80, then 90 as she followed Olsen along the highway. He’s really leaving town, right now, she realized as they passed Hope Valley city limits, heading north. The traffic was light, but she struggled to stay on his tail as he weaved in and out of the lanes. He was escaping something, that much was obvious, but she couldn’t figure out whether he knew that she was following him.
At last, he took an exit and she breathed a sigh of relief. She followed him onto a two-lane road. Then she stepped on the gas and closed the distance between them, before flashing her lights. He didn’t respond. She tried a second and a third time. And then she indicated right, hit the gas hard, and the needle went up to 80 as the engine roared. To her relief, Olsen touched the brake, and she tucked in in front of him. Keeping her speed high, she put her hazards on, and finally, he reacted. In her rearview mirror, she saw his head jerk. The distance between them opened up as he braked harder, and she hit the brakes too, and pulled over onto a grassy, sloping shoulder. She came to a stop, crossing her fingers that he’d stop too.
Twenty feet behind her, the truck pulled up. The door opened, and Olsen burst out of the car and stormed toward her.
“What the hell’s the problem?” he roared. And then he stopped. His eyes widened.
“Dolores? That was you! What are you doing here?” His voice became much softer.
“I think I understand,” she said. “You can’t read, can you?”
Olsen’s face transformed. From shock, to shame, to anger, to the wild face of a bear. She quaked. Deep inside, her most primal instincts told her to run. But instead, she found herself pulling the catch on the door, opening it and stepping out. Olsen towered over, big enough to snap her in two without even thinking about it.
“That’s why you’ve been ignoring my messages. Not because you don’t have any manners.” His fists bunched, his shoulders swelled, and for a moment she thought he was going to shift. She was so scared that she thought she might pee. But she held her ground, on legs as wobbly as Jell-O. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of,” she continued.
“Like hell it isn’t!” he roared. “I’m the only bear in the whole damn clan – maybe in the whole damn world – who can’t read so much as a signpost. I’m a fucking moron, and I don’t deserve to live among humans!” The fury in his voice turned to pain and the last word came out choked.
“Of course you do. Many people in Hope Valley admire you for your talents and skills. Tamika’s very impressed by you and what you’ve done with the school.”
“No, I’m a fraud. I don’t deserve for anyone to be impressed by me. That’s why I’m leaving the clan for good.”
“You’re leaving right now?”
“Yes.” He tossed his head violently to the north, where the highway led. “I’m going somewhere where I don’t have to hide myself from anyone.” He took a step, as if he was going to stride back to his car and leave her on the road, watching him go. Without thinking about what she was doing, she caught at his arm, wrapping both hands around the bulging muscles just below the curve of his elbow.
“Olsen, wait. So no-one knows that you can’t read?”
A dull red rose to his cheeks, disappearing as fast as it had come. “Nope. No-one.”
She stared at him hard, willing him to meet her eyes. At last he did, turning his angular jaw toward her, and regarding her with a dark, pained look. “Do you realize how smart that makes you? To have managed to hide it all these years, while being so successful in your life?”
Olsen let off a snarl, and she let go of him and jumped back in alarm. Adrenaline surged through her body as she bumped against the side of the car and could go no further. Her hands rose up and covered her mouth.
He took a step toward her, but then his expression changed. �
�I’m sorry,” he murmured. And then he sank down to the ground, like a bridge suddenly collapsing under too great a load. “I shouldn’t have been like that. It’s not your fault.”
He looked broken, his back hunched and legs splayed in front of him. Little by little, she forced her stiff knees to bend and draw her into a crouching position.
“I can help you, Olsen,” she began.
“It’s too late.” He seemed to be talking to the dirt as much as to her.
“It’s not too late. The way you helped me when I had a panic attack at the school. I wouldn’t be working there now if it wasn’t for you. And look how happy I am with my life now.”
“Dolores. I’m a man. Well, half a man. I should’ve learned to read 25 years ago. It’s too late for me now.”
“It’s not, trust me. I’ve taught teens and young adults who were late readers because of health or family problems in their youth. I know how to teach adult learners. I’m sure I can help you, Olsen –”
“I’m leaving Hope Valley now. My mind’s made up. I never fitted in with the other bears. It’s not my home.”
“But why? Why does it matter so much that you can’t read? You’ve worked with them for years, right?”
“It’s not just that. It’s other stuff too. I’m too different from them.”
“But why won’t you let me help you? Just try it for a while and see if it makes the difference.”
At last, he lifted his big, handsome head and met her eye again. “I can’t let you, of all people teach me, Dolores.”
“Why not?”
“Because it’s a shame for a man.”
“But I’ve taught plenty of men, who’ve ended up being glad –”
“It’s a shame for a man when he feels this way about you.” So fast that she didn’t know what was happening, his hands reached out and encircled her waist, and he lifted her right off the ground, pulling her into his arms. And then his lips touched against hers. They were warm and firmly, and they pressed softly at first, but quickly became fierce with hunger. Wow. Her head spun as she responded to him, kissing him back eagerly. He held her tight against his body, and when his tongue probed between her lips, eager to claim her mouth, she felt like she was lifting right off the ground as waves of pleasure rolled through her. She’d wanted this for a very long time, she realized. She’d tried hard not to acknowledge it to herself, but she’d longed for this huge, rugged man to take her in his arms, just as he was doing right now. As he pulled her closer and kissed her deeper, his stubble chafing her skin, a little spot between her thighs began to throb. She wanted him. Wanted him to throw her down in the dirt and crush her with his big, muscular bulk. Her hands began to run all over his body, greedily, eager to feel every bit of his arms and torso beneath the fabric of his T-shirt.
“Dolores,” he murmured, tearing his mouth away from hers, and leaving a trail of scorching kisses along her neck. “I wish things were different. I wish I was good enough to be your mate. And one day soon, you’ll make some lucky shifter an amazing mate. You’re one in a million.” He got to his feet, gently lifting her up and setting her on her feet at the same time. “I probably shouldn’t have kissed you like that. But I couldn’t control myself. Now, I say goodbye to you, sweet girl. Thank you for your kindness. I wish you all the best in life.”
With that, he turned on his heel, strode back to his car and climbed inside. Dolores stood motionless, one hand clamped over her still-tingling lips, watching until his truck was out of sight.
14
At some point, she got back into her car and slumped in her seat, staring blankly at the darkening road ahead. She’d just had the most amazing, breathtaking, mind-blowing kiss of her life. The kind of kiss she’d thought only existed in movies. He liked her. He really liked her. And now he was gone, and she was never going to feel those lips again. Never lay eyes on that kind, handsome face. Why? Why was he so proud? She could help to take away the pain and shame that he didn’t deserve to feel. She had no idea what other reasons he had for leaving Hope Valley, but she felt deep in her heart that he was a good man.
Reluctantly, she started up her car and got back on the highway, turning off at the first exit so she could head back south. But before she could rejoin the highway she stopped. Instead, she turned off the slip road and pulled into the forecourt of a nearby gas station.
She took her phone out of her purse, opened Shiftr and scrolled to Olsen’s profile. She tapped “new message”, and began to flick through the emojis. She found a pair of hands pressed together, a truck, a wood cabin, a man, a slash symbol, a bear, a plus sign, a woman, a book and a smiley face. She added them all to the text box and hit send. Please come back to Hope Valley, I want to teach you to read. She screwed her face up. It made sense to her, but she didn’t know if anyone else would understand it. She flicked back to Olsen’s profile. He wasn’t online. But then she remembered another feature of the app. Something she’d read about in the instructions when she first signed up for Shiftr. She went to the main menu, and the help section, and then she returned to Olsen’s profile. “Yes!” she exclaimed.
She started up her car again, and turned out of the gas station, in the opposite direction from where she’d come.
Olsen’s breath came in hard, ragged gasps as he gripped the steering wheel tight. He shouldn’t have done that. And yet. From the moment that he brushed Dolores’ lips with his own, he felt more alive than he’d felt in his entire life. She was so small in his arms that he’d worried that he’d break her, but she had the spirit of a lioness. And those luscious curves had driven him crazy with need. It had taken everything he had not to take her into his truck and claim her for his own. But he knew he couldn’t. She wasn’t meant for him. He didn’t deserve a human female. Never mind one as intelligent as she was. His shame at being unable to read was like a hot poker in his soul. For one passing second, he’d entertained the idea of taking her up on her offer to teach him. She was kind. She’d been through plenty of hardship herself. But no. It wasn’t going to happen. It would be the final humiliation of many humiliations he’d endured over the years.
He tapped the brake, realizing that he was doing over ninety. Where am I going anyway? he thought. Driving aimlessly along the highway, with no destination to look forward to. All he knew was he needed to get away from Hope Valley and the clan that didn’t see him as one of them. Niall’s words bounced around his brain. He’d made him so fucking mad. But he was right. What business did he have going on Shiftr and pretending to date, when he was little more than an animal?
Maybe I’ll just keep on going. See where the highway’s headed. And if it hits the border? Maybe I’ll go in into the next country. And if they won’t let me in? Maybe I’ll head to the sea instead, and find a place where the forest meets the water. Not that he’d seen the sea before. All he wanted was to be someplace where there was no-one to question him, give him a hard time. Tell him he wasn’t human enough. He kept on following the highway north.
The sun slipped below the horizon, leaving the world a dull gray. Then twilight came in a violet haze. A little later, darkness spilled in. But nothing else changed. The highway was still endless. Heading nowhere. Loneliness filled every square inch of empty space in the truck and his bear howled relentlessly. As far as it was concerned, he’d met his mate, and being with her was all that mattered. He’d thought the feeling would lift the further he got from Hope Valley, but it only got worse.
Late, around nine thirty p.m., a roadside bar came into view. One of those places that looked like trouble. He made a sharp turn off the highway and pulled into the parking lot.
It was a biker bar. Very dim inside, with a beat-up pool table in one corner, and a sticky floor. The stink of unwashed human bodies hit his nostrils. Funny. Humans say bears are uncivilized, but at least we know how to keep ourselves clean, he thought, as he strode over to the bar and ordered a beer.
He finished the first bottle in two swigs and ordered another. There
were plenty of glances coming in his direction, some of them hostile, according to the way that his bear’s fur was bristling beneath his skin. But he chose to ignore them. He had nothing to fear from a bunch of humans. Time passed as he stared gloomily into the distance, emptying one beer after another. He was so huge that it regularly took a half dozen before he even felt a buzz. He was hoping the beer would get Dolores out of his mind, but it wasn’t working. In fact, it was having the opposite effect. For no reason at all, he took his phone out of his back pocket and tapped on the Shiftr app. Maybe he wanted to see if she looked just the way he was picturing her – with those green eyes sparkling with so much intelligence and those sweet, cherry-red lips. Those lips that he’d kissed just a few hours earlier. He groaned. His bear couldn’t understand how he’d let her go so easy. Your mate. Claim her, it kept insisting. As he tapped on her profile, a message popped up. From her. His heart gave a big jolt. And he let off a rumble of frustration. She knew his secret. Why didn’t she just quit, and leave him to his humiliation? The message opened. But it wasn’t the indecipherable tangle of black lines that he’d been expecting. It was a bunch of emojis. He read them out loud, one at a time:
“Please, drive home. Man-bear and woman, reading. Smile.”
His lips curved upwards. He couldn’t help it. Even after he’d gone and abandoned her, right on the highway, she was trying to help him. She was one in a million. He stared at the phone until his eyes glazed over. He had to explain. He started scrolling through his emojis, looking for something that represented feelings. But they were all damn objects. He scrolled and scrolled, getting more and more wound up, until he’d looked through every one, but nothing made sense. Nothing explained what he needed to say. By the time he was done, his skull was aching and his jaws grinding together. He raised his head and looked around the bar wildly. There was a kid. A skinny kid, collecting glasses from the tables and hauling crates of empty bottles out the back. Olsen slipped past the bar and followed him out. The kid was muttering to himself as he dumped a crate on top of a bunch of others at the side of the building. Olsen came up behind him.
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