She leant over the crib, cooing at the baby for a moment, then bent and unplugged the power supply to the crib, setting off an alarm that she silenced quickly.
A nurse pushed the door open in a hurry, and Rhian waved her away with a smile. “We’re fine here, it’s ok, you go do some paperwork or something.”
The nurse looked offended for a moment, then laughed and said, “Forget the paperwork, I want coffee. Just buzz me if you need anything,” then was gone, door thudding shut behind her.
Rhian wheeled the humidicrib over next to Noah and beckoned for Vincent to join them. Vincent scrambled blearily onto the other side of Noah’s bed, making Noah wince and grimace as he bumped him. “Christ, sorry,” Vincent said, quickly getting off the bed.
Noah grabbed his arm, smiling weakly. “It’s alright, just the sudden movement.” Vincent carefully sat down again, his hand resting on Noah’s shoulder, as they both turned to watch Rhian
Rhian lifted the top of the crib off. “Hello, sweetheart,” she said to the sleeping baby. “Gonna let Aunty Rhi have a look at you? You’re so little.” She looked at Vincent and Noah. “What was baby’s birth weight?”
Noah looked blank and Vincent replied, “Five pounds, three ounces. Down a little this morning too.”
Rhian smiled at the baby. “You must be very hungry, little one.” She leant across the crib and flicked on Noah’s bedside light, turned around to the sink and washed her hands, then began to unwrap the baby.
Noah watched, intrigued. He hadn’t seen the baby without a rug before, and was a little surprised when it looked so tiny and frail, nothing at all like the monster that had been kicking him to pieces for months and months. This baby looked delicate and fragile, whereas Noah had expected a baby with at least athlete’s thighs. “So tiny,” he whispered, and felt Vincent’s fingers tighten on his shoulder.
Rhian’s eyes were full of delight and she ran her fingers over the baby’s face as it began to cry, disturbed by the drop in temperature. “Shh, darling, just a minute, need to take a quick look,” she said softly. She undid the diaper and started chuckling. “Christ on a bicycle, Sandra should’ve been able to call this one. You’ve got a baby girl. Look!”
She turned the crib around a little and spread the baby’s skin folds. “Clitoris, urethra, labia. It’s a girl.” The baby startled at Rhian’s laugh, and a jet of urine sprayed out, making Rhian grab the diaper she had just taken off and place it over the baby’s groin. “That’s definitive. The urethra is functional, and is independent of the clitoris. “Congratulations, she’s gorgeous. I’ll do a DNA workup anyway, just to make sure she’s not a mosaic,” Rhian said, and she bent down under the crib to find a clean diaper.
Vincent’s fingers tightened again on Noah’s shoulder, and Noah reached a hand up to return the squeeze.
The DNA scrapes took a couple of seconds to do, then Rhian wrapped the baby back up and lifted her into Noah’s waiting arms. She said, “There you are, sweetheart,” and Noah wasn’t sure who she was talking too.
He took his squalling baby in his arms, his daughter, and looked at Vincent, who had given up any attempt not to cry and was wiping his face on the sleeve of his sweater. Rhian pushed the crib back against the wall and plugged it back in, then sat down gently on the side of the bed that was vacant. “So, what names have you chosen?” she asked eagerly.
Vincent leant over to brush his daughter’s hair with his fingertips, then looked at Noah, who nodded back at him.
“Emily, we’re going to call her Emily.”
“Lovely,” Rhian said with a smile and looked down at the baby. “Welcome to the madhouse, Emily,” she said gently.
Vincent sat in the armchair, Emily in his arms, giving her a bottle of colostrum from the milk bank while Noah poked disinterestedly at the bowl of clear soup the hospital had provided. He looked up at Noah, huge grin on his face, and Noah gave up, put the spoon down and said, “You pleased?”
“You’ve got to be kidding. I’m ecstatic. A boy would have been wonderful too, and an intersex baby would have been very special to us, but we’ve got a baby girl!”
Noah grinned back and hugged himself, then let go in a hurry when his breasts complained about squashed. “Wow, still getting used to it, a daughter! I am going to be so sympathetic when she’s being hormonal.”
“Yeah, sure. Like Ella is kind to Ben when he’s being all rampant. Did you know she made him cry after he laughed at you?”
Sophie sat carefully on the edge of Noah’s bed and hugged him. “She’s just beautiful, darling, just beautiful. I’m so happy for you and Vincent. Tami sends her best and says she’ll be here on Saturday as planned. She couldn’t change her flight because of work.”
Noah nodded. “I talked to her this morning, she said that.”
Sophie nodded. “I told Vincent I’d sit with you for an hour or so, so he could get home and shower and change. Are you pleased with Emily?”
Noah smiled. “Pleased? She’s just adorable.”
Sophie smiled too. “Holding your own newborn baby is the most perfect feeling. It’s like all the best bits of falling in love, all the joy, without any of the murky confusion, and without the doubts. With a new baby, you just know it loves you back completely, and you never doubt that. It’s the first time I truly understood ‘unconditional love’,” Sophie explained. “Is that how you feel?”
Noah shrugged, his eyes on Emily.
Sophie waited, and he eventually looked back at her. “I don’t think I’m very good at falling in love.”
“At the risk of stating the obvious, what about Vincent?” Sophie said.
Noah shook his head. “We’re not in love, I just got pregnant, that’s all.”
Sophie stared at Noah for a moment, then smacked his leg. “This is me you’re talking to, Noah, your mother!”
Noah flinched at the smack, then pressed a hand against his belly where the dressing covered stitches and a drain. “mom!” he complained.
“Don’t try and tell me that Vincent isn’t in love with you. It’s obvious the man adores you completely. You must be an idiot not to see that,” she said, then paused. “And an idiot not to love him back.”
Noah gulped and said, “mom, don’t.”
Sophie slid an arm gently around his shoulder. “I’m not cross with you, love, but somebody has to tell you these things especially if you aren’t willing to see them for yourself.”
She held Noah to her chest while he cried, stroking his hair gently, until he had stopped sobbing. “The hardest thing to learn is the least complicated,” she murmured to him, kissing him gently on his forehead
In the crib, Emily began to cry and Sophie let go of Noah as the nurse came in, carrying a bottle ready for Emily. Sophie watched as Noah settled a pillow across his lap and Emily was handed to him, along with the bottle. Noah’s face was suffused with love for his baby, and Sophie smiled too. Her life had been full of surprises, including Noah. It seemed fitting that her granddaughter should be another one of life’s improbable chances.
She reached into the carry bag she had brought with her and pulled out a package. “Noah, I’ve got something for Emily here. From Casey.”
Noah’s eyes were on her in an instant. “You told him?”
Sophie shook her head. “Only that you were about to become a parent. Nothing else. He wanted to give the baby something special.” She placed the tissue wrapped package on the bed beside Noah and sighed. “This is for Emily, not for you. Let her at least have the gift.”
Emily made a contented noise in his arms, and Noah looked down at her. “Alright,” he said. “Open it for me, please?”
Sophie smiled gratefully at him, and pulled the tissue paper away. She lifted out a baby’s christening gown, ornate with lace, yellowed with age. “This was his mother’s christening gown. If you have any sort of naming ceremony for the baby, perhaps she could wear this.”
Looking from the infant, now asleep in his arms to his mother, Noah nodd
ed. “Ella’s best friend said she’d officiate at a blessing for us. I’ll make sure Emily wears the dress.”
Sophie pulled a small plastic bottle out of the bag too. “You’ll need this then.”
“What is it?” Noah asked, looking bemused.
“It’s Chalice Well water.”
“Oh, mom,” Noah said quietly. “That’s so sweet. I can’t believe you went all the way for that.”
Sophie patted his knee. “Of course I did. She might be born in LA, but she’s part of our family, and can still be blessed with water from a Celtic sacred site.”
Tears welled in Noah’s eyes at his mother’s words. He looked down at the baby in his arms as he whispered, “Yes, part of our family.”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
The night was cold, with a light wind blowing inland, kicking the last of the day’s rain around. Noah sat on a folding chair in a clearing in the park. Around him there was a rough circle, drawn in the grass by someone’s toe. Its perimeter was marked by a camp stove on one side, a cauldron full of ice and bottles of champagne opposite that, and in between them, a folding camping table, serving as an altar.
Tami was beside him, gazing at everything with wide eyes, dwarfed inside one of Vincent’s winter jackets. His mom was wearing one too, down to her knees, and was chatting enthusiastically with Ella.
Ben was wildly excited, gazing with fascination at the things on the folding table, obviously itching to touch the ceremonial knife and sword. Noah had nervously asked Sandra if she’d like to attend, expecting her to smile and say she didn’t have time, but she was there, almost unrecognizable in a cowboy hat and wrapped in a plaid blanket.
Vincent was holding Emily in one arm, bundled in one of the quilts Tami had made, hitching at the waist of his jeans with his other hand. He was, as usual, barefoot Everyone else was, less usually, also. Noah had heard Lady Selena talking to her second in charge, a short fat woman in green velvet called Chloe, about consecrated footwear, but the decision had been that everyone would be bare foot.
Along with the ceremonial sword and knife on the altar was a bowl, filled from the plastic bottle of Chalice Well water that his mother had brought for Emily, a Tupperware container, a stick worn smooth from being handled, and a sensor of incense. The wind was pulling at the incense, spreading it thin through the park. Under the table, amongst the long grass was a bottle of port.
Vincent seemed quite comfortable with the witches in the coven, hugging Lady Selena and calling her Maria, teasing Chloe about how many children she had had since the last time he had seen her. Sudden realization hit Noah and he tugged on Ella’s jacket, making her bend down so he could whisper, “This coven did your marriage to Vincent, didn’t they?”
Ella laughed quietly and nodded. “Well spotted. Yeah, they did our hand-fasting, and Ben’s blessing too.”
The rainbow flags flapped in the breeze and Lady Selena clapped her hands. “Everyone, step inside the circle and we’ll get started.” When the people had gathered around, she said, “Tonight, under the light of the full moon,” and she lifted her hands to where the moon was rising through the clouds and trees, “between Samhain and Yule, we are here to welcome Emily to the world.”
Vincent handed Emily down into Noah’s arms, and all the standing people joined hands. Noah was still too sore and weak to stand for long, and was glad Vincent had thought to bring him a chair. There was singing, and the circle was cast, drawn with the sword from the altar.
Lady Selena spoke again. “We are all of us Cerridwen’s children, born onto the earth that we may grow in her love, for as long as life is granted to us. Tonight, we want to show baby Emily, born Thursday two weeks past, the light of the full moon for the first time.”
Emily stirred in Noah’s arms, murmuring in her sleep. Vincent bent down and picked her up, handing her to Lady Selena. Lady Selena kissed her forehead, and said, “You are a darling baby. Look,” and she lifted Emily in her arms briefly, “let the light of the Goddess shine upon you, now, and for all of your life. May you know her love, and grow to follow her path. May she guide you, and bless you, through joy and pain, love and loss, until it is time for you to return to her loving embrace.”
There was a quiet sob from behind Noah, recognizably Ben’s, and Vincent moved back to wrap an arm around him.
Lady Selena handed Emily back to Noah to hold, and Emily peered up at him with dark slate eyes, wide awake. Lady Selena knelt down in front of Noah and dipped a finger into the bowl of Chalice Well water and traced a star on her forehead, then opened her quilt a little and Noah undid the buttons at the neck of her lace christening gown. Lady Selena drew a star on her chest too, and Vincent’s arms were around Noah’s shoulders from behind, stroking Emily’s hair gently.
“Welcome to this world, Emily. We wish you and your parents, Vincent and Noah, love and happiness.”
Noah tucked the quilt securely around Emily and took the bottle of warm formula that Vincent handed him. There was a cry of “Huzzah!” and Lady Selena and Chloe quickly blessed a goblet of the port and a plate of almond crescent biscuits. Noah found himself eating a honey coated biscuit one-handed and taking a mouthful of port as the goblet was passed around. Lady Selena clapped her hands and said, “Does anyone want to speak?”
Sandra raised her hand quickly. “I do.” Lady Selena nodded and Sandra spoke loudly enough for all to hear. “I’m used to seeing unconventional families, it’s the nature of my practice. I deliver surrogate babies, assisted conception babies, babies that are born into just about every permutation of ‘family’ that anyone can imagine. Emily is no exception, and like all the babies I deliver, has parents that wanted her desperately, and struggled to have her.” She turned to look at Vincent and Noah. “I have been touched by their commitment to her well-being, and wish her, and them, all the best. I look forward to delivering her babies one day.”
Vincent knelt down beside Noah, sitting on his heels and Noah whispered, “Are you going to say anything?”
He was surprised when Vincent shook his head and whispered back, “I don’t think I could say anything coherent.”
Ben spoke up. “You know, I wasn’t expecting a baby sister, I never thought that either Mom or Dad would have any more kids. But Emily is so beautiful, she’s tiny and her hair and skin are so soft. Before, I never understood why people have babies, but now I do. I think Emily is the best sister ever.”
Noah glanced at Vincent in the flickering light of the candles around the circle, and he saw the dampness glistening on his cheeks. He was a mess, holding onto the arm of Noah’s chair for support. Noah took one arm from Emily and rested it over one of Vincent’s hands.
There was silence for a moment, and Lady Selena said, “So mote it be.” There was a quick flurry of activity as the coven took down the circle and lit extra lamps that guttered in the wind, and soon people were bending down to congratulate Vincent and Noah and admire Emily. Someone handed him a flute of champagne, someone else kissed his cheek. His mom was tearful, Tami proud. When Vincent took Emily to lie her down in her stroller, Noah stood up, hanging onto his chair, wrapped an arm around Ben and kissed him on the cheek. Ben hugged him back quickly, ducking his head a little in what was probably teenage embarrassment at his own outburst of sentimentality.
Lady Selena hugged Noah and then Vincent, and pressed something into Noah’s hand. When he looked, she had given him a silver pentagram. “For Emily,” she explained. “From all of us.” She looked over Vincent’s shoulder to where Ben was helping pack the cars. “Ben has grown up so well,” she said to Vincent. “You must be happy with the young man he’s become.”
Vincent nodded. “I am. He’s not an adult yet, but he’s on his way.”
Lady Selena looked at the two men and smiled. “May you also find the same happiness in this precious one also,” she said, “and in each other,” she added, too quietly to be overheard.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Rhian looked at Noah over the top of her glas
ses and smiled at him. She took her glasses off and leant back in her chair. “Your HCG level is down to trace amounts only, which is excellent. Means you probably won’t need anymore methotrexate, if the placenta is pretty much inactive.” Noah sighed, relieved there wouldn’t be any more of the dreaded side effects to struggle through. “Have you noticed any changes in your body? Anything to indicate that your hormone levels are shifting?” Rhian asked.
He shrugged, glancing at Vincent who was jiggling a fretful Emily on his shoulder. “Not really. I’d kind of hoped that things would be getting back to normal now, after six weeks, but I’ve still got these,” he said, looking down at his chest as he opened his shirt, revealing bumps under his T-shirt. Luckily, being winter, he could disguise them with layers of clothes, a shirt over a T-shirt over an exercise bra pretty much flattened them out.
He’d had his curls all cut off too, in the hope of looking more male, but his face was still full and soft from the pregnancy, along with his belly.
“What about facial hair? Body hair? Genitals?”
Noah shook his head each time. “Not in the past two weeks, nothing’s changed.”
Rhian looked again at the papers on her desk. “You’re not making much testosterone yet. I’d hoped that your production would pick up smoothly, but it’s not happening. You’re currently hovering at gender neutral, which fortunately we can, and will, something about. I’ll give you a T shot today, and a script for synthetic testosterone, get things happening for you that way. This should just nudge you body in the right direction.”
Noah said, “How long will it take?”
Rhian shrugged. “Weeks, not months. I’ll give you the T-shot and the script but I want you to wait three days before starting on the tablets, just to gauge what sort of side effects you’ll get. The script is for lozenges for you to just pop inside your cheek and let them dissolve; they actually work much better than tablets you swallow.”
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