No one has moved when we re-enter the common room, they were talking quietly, and now they’re looking expectantly at me. “Why are you looking at me like that?” I sit down on the couch, grabbing a nearby blanket and cuddling underneath it. Being naked is sometimes a little too cold for my taste. But Kent doesn’t let me sit alone, pulling me close and lending his heat against my back.
Brae spreads how hand, gesturing. “We’re curious what you think. It’s a lot to process, and a lot to think about. Especially for you.”
“Why?” I’m not following.
“Because,” Urien says. “There’s a lot more risk. We’ll be bonded with you, but you’ll be bonded with four—hopefully five—of us. If something happens—”
“Bullshit.” I cut him off. “You guys are taking the same risk. If I die, all five of you will be in just as much pain. If anything, it feels like you’re taking the bigger leap. I’m human. Mortal. I’m going to die eventually.”
No one says anything to that, but I feel Kent kiss the back of my head. That, at least, is something that we’re in together.
I look around at each of them. They want me—us—for life, and the way makes me feel is brave and so much bigger than I can put into words. But I know one thing. “I love you,” I say, and it’s so true that it hurts. “All of you. And I don’t care about the risk. I’m not going to let myself make decisions based on what might or might not happen.”
Those words sit in the air, the continued threat to my life still hanging unspoken. “But I don’t want to rush it either. You were right this morning, Brae. We have the time to figure it out, and it should be when we’re ready, for each of us. And the rest of it…what’s happening. I don’t know what we’re going to do about that.”
Verys crosses to our couch, and sits next to me, pulling me over and into his arms. Kent pulls my legs into his lap, never breaking contact, never resisting the change. It still flattens me that it’s so fluid and easy. That nobody’s hackles are rising from possessiveness. I lay against Verys’s chest, relaxing into his strength. It never left him fully, and now it’s coming back in full force. His voice leaves no room for doubt. “I can say with certainty that not one of us will willingly let anything happen to you. And it’s your choice. If you want to hide, we will shield you. If you choose to fight, we’ll fight beside you. We are yours, Kari. Nothing else matters.”
“Thank you,” I say, pressing my lips to his skin.
That same feeling from earlier is here now, that settling of something. The web of tendrils between us that I can’t name. But there’s more, and I need to make a trip. “I need to go to the temple. The Goddess clearly wants something from me, and now that I’m here, and alive, I need to ask. Is there somewhere I can speak to her that’s more…private?”
“Of course,” Brae says. “It’s a good idea. I’ll accompany you, if you like.”
I hesitate. “I think I need to be alone when I talk to her. But I’ll admit that I don’t want to go there by myself. After everything.” Sitting up, I sigh. “I suppose I should put on some clothes.”
Aeric laughs. “I would really prefer it if you didn't.”
“You want me to walk all the way to the temple like this?” I ask, raising an eyebrow. “Everybody able to see me?”
“Hell yes,” he says, not hiding the way he’s looking me up and down. “Let everybody see how fucking delicious my mate is. If you want me to fuck you in the town square to show the Court how you moan, we can do that too.”
I go bright red, and open my mouth to speak, but there’s nothing. Finally, I manage to find my voice again. “Living here is going to take some getting used to.”
They all dissolve into laughter, and soon I am too. God, how am I ever going to get used to this?
CHAPTER FOUR
________
KARI
How do you dress to meet a goddess? That’s the question I’m asking myself as I’m standing in front of this closet that has way too many clothes. I’m not sure which clothes in here are from Kaya and which ones are from the house, but it reminds me of the costume closet at the ballet. Everything is beautiful, but some things I can’t imagine ever having an occasion to wear.
But I suppose I actually have no idea. I’m not sure what my life is going to look like here in Allwyn. Will I be able to wear evening gowns regularly? I think again of what I wondered in the Crystal Court. What do fae do in their spare time? For fun?
The robe that I love that was discarded this morning is hanging back up, perfectly clean, as is that silky nightgown. I think I could get used to a world without laundry. Or cooking. Or any of the chores that this house takes care of. It’s really not surprising that humans are so fascinated by Allwyn. This is every human’s dream life.
In the end, does it even matter what I wear? I was mostly out of it the last time I was in the temple, but I was naked. Everyone was naked. So I’m wondering if clothes are even permitted.
I opt for something simple enough, and close to what I’d wear on a casual day in New York. A simple red dress that I can pull over my head and falls to my knees. It gathers under my breasts and falls the rest of the way down. It actually reminds me of some of the costumes I used to dance in.
The way I look in the mirror is still jarring. I’m too thin—though the massive amount of food that the house keeps making will take care of that soon enough. But the skin and hair…I can’t help but feel like a ghost. It’s hard to meet my own eyes.
None of the guys seem to mind, but I don’t feel like myself, and that’s hard. I’m especially pale against the bright red of the dress, and I tear my gaze away from my reflection before I can get too caught up in my own thoughts about it.
Brae is already waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs, and he looks…normal. Like the fae version of jeans and a t-shirt. The short-sleeved shirt is tight to his body and showing me how built he is. I’d happily stare at him shirtless all day, but the way the fabric is stretching over his chest does funny things to my insides. Things that make me want to delay the trip to the temple. Down, girl. “You look very human,” I say.
He smiles. “You assume that all fae dress like the humans imagine them? Fantastic things like leaves and tunics. Leggings?”
“I don’t know,” I say, laughing. “Just didn’t think the fae wore t-shirts.”
“What’s to say that humans didn’t get them from us?”
“Fair point.”
“I think it’s also fair point that both humans and fae make a lot of assumptions about each other, and that we’re likely to be surprised quite a bit on both sides.”
Brae takes my hand and guides me through the house towards the front door, which I’ve never had occasion to use. The entry to the house is beautiful, a small courtyard with pillars and a small bubbling fountain in the center. A painted galaxy swirls on the ceiling, sparkling with magic that makes it glitter like the actual night sky.
I guess calling it the front ‘door’ wouldn’t be exactly accurate since there’s no actual door. Just the entryway opening onto a stone path lined with colorful trees—birch and pine, or what looks like them. But like many of the other plants in our gardens, they are in colors and textures that you would never find in the human world.
A few feet from the marble of the entryway is the wall of wards. They glimmer in the air, geometrics and swirls opening and collapsing and reforming. As I look I feel like I see a different pattern every moment.
“How many wards did you guys put on this place?”
Brae’s mouth tips up into a smirk. “All of them, I think.”
“All of them?”
“We put up as many as we could think of, and Urien dug up a few more. There’s everything from barring anyone but the six of us from entering without permission to keeping out external sound in case someone’s sends an enchantment that’s audible. We’re taking no chances.”
He steps through the wall of light and pulls me with him. It feels like a tingling breeze, a
nd I can taste scraps of all of their magic. “Thank you.”
“That’s something that you never have to thank us for.”
“And that I probably always will.”
He squeezes my hand, but says nothing in response. I don’t know that I’d be able to hear him anyway. I’m too busy looking around. This is the first time that I’ve left the house since I arrived, and it is a gorgeous assault on the senses. Everywhere I look there’s something beautiful.
There are other walls and lanes that we pass, leading to other mansions hidden by trees. The air is rich with sweetness, and the bright light falls across the path we’re walking with golden warmth. It’s so much more than sex. Everything about this place caters to comfort and experience.
And for the first time since that day in the temple, I see other fae. Not many, but we pass a few others walking in the opposite direction. Beautiful and happy, and totally at peace. It feels too good to be true, especially since we know that something is hunting me.
“Should we be worried,” I ask Brae. “That Ariana and whoever she sends after me will hurt others?”
He shakes his head. “For the moment, she seems to have an incredibly singular focus. But if that changes, we will inform the Rialoia. Urien being who he is gives both the access and the credibility we need if for whatever reason we need to move quickly.”
“Good.”
We walk down the avenue, which is nothing like the streets I saw in the Crystal Court. It’s spacious and quiet, but slowly, I see signs of more population and life. We pass through an archway that’s grown out of two trees tangled together, with variegated leaves falling in a perfect shower. My heart skips a beat as we pass underneath it, because it feels too simple, just walking with my hand in Brae’s. It feels…normal. What I might do with a boyfriend, though we both know that this is far more than that.
“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to how beautiful it all is.”
Brae stops and looks around, pulling me closer so that he can wrap his arm around my waist before we continue on. “You will, and you won’t. It will become your every day, but there will still be things that take your breath away. But I don’t think you know how badly we all want for you to have that—this just become your every day.”
“I want that too.”
The space in front of us is large and open, with trees here and there twisting from the ground in rich colors. Beneath the branches are pillows and blankets, with people entwined. Some of them are enjoying each other’s company, and some are enjoying more than that. My eyes stop on a couple slowly making love, and it’s so clear that they’re in sync. Even breathing together.
They’re not the only ones either. Just as many people are engaged in pleasure and sex as those that aren’t, and there’s something beautiful about the fact that it’s just…happening in the open. No judgement or hesitation. No questions.
But it’s still strange to see. “Is it rude to stare here?”
Brae steps behind me, just letting me rest against him. “No, it’s not. If someone has chosen to be open and in public, they welcome your gaze.”
“Okay.”
He leans down and kisses my shoulder. “I’m torn between wanting what Aeric spoke of—to take you here where everyone can see—or to keep our pleasure where it is only us.”
I can see benefits to both. “We have a lot to figure out, and there are things that I never imagined would be possible that I could try now.”
“Really?” His voice is heavy with interest. “And what things would those be?”
I laugh, glad that he’s behind me so that he won’t see my blush. There are still some things I’m not ready to say out loud, and the thoughts and dreams I’ve had about all of them—and more than one of them—I’m not going to say out here in the open. I need the darkness and secrets of nighttime and kisses for those. “Not yet,” I tell him. “Though you promised me when I woke up that you would continue what you started. You haven’t yet.”
“Yet is the key word there,” he whispers. “But a promise is a promise, and if you think I’ve forgotten, you are very mistaken.”
Shivers run across my skin. I want him. I wanted him before, but this is different. I’m healthy and healing and I want to be with him in a way where I can participate. Yes.
“You’re getting distracted,” he murmurs. “Let’s go before I have to drag you back to the house.”
Leaning my head back against his shoulder, I sigh. “This can wait.”
“No it can’t. It will drive you crazy. And we have a stop to make before we go to the temple.”
“Where?”
He takes my hand again and pulls me to the left down a different street that’s lined with blue stones and looks like it ends in a place with busier traffic. “The marketplace. It’s not required, but I thought you might want to bring an offering.”
“Like…a blood sacrifice?”
Brae’s laugh echoes around us. “No, I’ll show you.”
The marketplace is like the one in the Crystal Court, and yet it’s not. There’s more people here than I’ve seen, and everyone seems to be enjoying themselves. But it’s less chaotic than the Crystal market, even if it’s just as crowded. Fae are moving at the pace that pleases them, and so the air is suffused with calm and happiness. Stores line a long avenue, the buildings in various shapes and colors. It disappears into the distance, and I realize I have no concept of size or distance in Allwyn. How big is the Carnal Court? How many fae live here?
I see a clothing store in a building that’s jade green, carved with hundreds of flowers. A building that glimmers silver houses beautiful weapons of every kind. Fabric, magical items, flowers, even animals. Everything that you would find in the human world you could find here, and it’s even more beautiful because it’s fae, and likely magical. “Is there a sex toy store here?”
Brae grins. “Of course. I doubt we could call ourselves the Carnal Court without one. But I also know your other mates would be furious with me if I took you there without them.”
“Fine,” I say, rolling my eyes. “But I want to go there. And I want to take you all to one in the human world too sometime. Because I have a feeling that all of you would be like kids in a candy store.”
“That is an excellent idea,” he says. “We’ll make it happen.”
We stop in front of a building that reminds me, in a way, of the temple. The building is carved in flowing lines like a tent and is a deep crimson. At first glance it looks like it might be a flower shop, but as we walk closer, I realize that the only flowers that are present are roses. In every color imaginable. Combinations too. Right at the door there are emerald green ones trimmed in gold.
As soon as I step up and inside the air changes. The cheery noise from the crowd outside fades away and everything is still and sweet. It’s cool and darker, but clear. Like taking a breath for the first time. “What is this place?”
“Where we’ll find your offering.”
“Roses?” I reach out to touch a flower that looks like flame. Red fading through orange and the palest yellow to the cool blue of heat.
“I suppose I didn’t tell you that part of the story,” Brae says softly. “When Cerys was consumed with her own fire, and remade Allwyn, roses appeared. Not only around her, but everywhere. Even in the darkest places in this world there were roses. Beauty and pain at once together. Roses are not native to the human world, and there’s a reason that they’re considered the most beautiful flower. The one that people give to represent love. That started here. Because to us, they represent the greatest love we’ve ever received.”
It makes the flaming rose—so soft and innocent under my fingers—look very different. There’s so much that humans owe Cerys too, and I don’t think that anyone on that side has ever heard of her. Or if they have, they think she’s a myth and nothing but a story.
The thought that the being who did that, who sacrificed everything for a world she had no obligation to save, has an intere
st in me is both humbling and terrifying. “Do you use them only for offerings?”
“No,” Brae says. “Like in the human world, we use them for declarations and decorations. But they are never used lightly.”
I nod, looking around at the sea of roses. I understand why this place feels full of reverence now. Why the temple in the Crystal Court was shaped as a rose. This is as close to a holy symbol as the fae have. And it speaks so many volumes without words.
“So if any of you buy me roses...” I trail off, not sure what I’m asking.
Brae turns me towards him. “Will it be a declaration of love deeper than we’re capable of saying?” I nod. “Yes, Kari.”
He kisses me, drawing me into his arms and wrapping me up until I don’t know where we separate. He tastes like honey and sunshine. The magic sparking between us tingling on my lips and sparking outwards with little bits of light. And because I can—and because I want to—I kiss him back.
When he pulls back from me, still so close, we’re both breathing harder. “I haven’t had a chance to say it. I love you. You are my mate. And when I think that I may have lost you—that I may never have found you—I can’t breathe.”
I close my eyes against the sudden emotion threatening to spill over. There isn’t a way to prepare for words like that, and I feel them so deeply. It could have been so easy for them to ignore the call of that magic. For me to die on that sidewalk in New York or in the dozen close calls we had, and I would not have the chance to live with these men. Even if I don’t know why I was the one chosen for them.
It’s me who kisses him this time, because I can’t find words that satisfy what I want to convey. I throw everything into the kiss. Need and gratitude and longing and love so deep and real that I don’t understand it. It will take me a lifetime to do so.
“I love you,” I tell him when we break apart, and my chest aches with it. “And if you don’t keep your promise to me soon I’ll have no qualms about killing you in my sleep. I need you.”
Euphoria: A Reverse Harem Fantasy Romance (The Carnal Court Book 2) Page 3
