A Cowboy Is Forever

by Shirley Larson

  “You did,” he said, thinking that it was only now that it all made sense to him. “I thought it was odd when you came flying across the creek to give my father a calf that would only incriminate you further. But you did it to send Nick a message, to tell him you knew and he’d better be careful. What the hell happened to give Nick the energy to carry out such a vendetta against you?”

  “Nothing,” she said. “Nothing happened. And Nick isn’t plotting revenge.”

  “You’re lying, Charlotte,” he said. “And you’re doing it badly. Don’t you know I’m trained to know when people lie to me?”

  “Well, it certainly would be nice if we all had your skill.”

  In that silence, the sun seemed to burn into Luke’s back, even as the wind caressed his face. He imagined the feel of the whip of Charlotte’s hair across his skin, even though he was only gripping her hands as she tried to rip the reins away from him. “I’ve never lied to you.”

  Those blue eyes seared his soul. She seemed so cool and clean, as grounded in honesty as the mountains behind her. “Let me go.”

  Let her go? He didn’t want to. He didn’t want to.

  An astounding thought.

  He didn’t deserve her. He felt very much the city lawyer at the moment, full of qualifying answers and protestations and whereases and wherefores, dances sideways around the truth. Yet he hadn’t lied to her, he’d been excruciatingly honest about himself. Hadn’t he? He thought he’d been fair and truthful. But maybe he hadn’t. Maybe he’d lied the minute he took her in his arms. God knew he didn’t know much about love. Maybe he hadn’t been sure of its connection to sex. At one time, he would have said sex and love were like water and oil, better unmixed. Looking at Charlotte, with the sun streaming on her hair and the mountains at her back, he felt for the first time in his life that he had it all wrong. Now he wanted to go out and slay dragons for her. God help him. “Tell me what’s going on.”

  “Not until I can get proof.”

  He noticed that she’d refrained from saying Nick was innocent. “How about reasonable doubt?”

  “Suppose I’m wrong?” she cried. “That would hurt your father more than ever. For a bright man, you can be very obtuse sometimes.”

  “It hadn’t occurred to me that you’d care about hurting my father’s feelings.”

  Those blue eyes whipped over him like lasers, but she didn’t say anything.

  “Ah…He is my father, after all, isn’t he? Funny how you’re the one to remind me of that.”

  “I would appreciate it if you’d release my reins.”

  He didn’t want to. He wanted to hold on to that horse, hold on to her, and never let her go.

  There had to be a way to help her. He forced his fingers to open and, with his other hand, guided his horse around to give hers room.

  “What are you going to do?” Luke asked her.

  “I…don’t know. I just need…you to stay out of this. Don’t…get involved, Luke. You won’t do me any good and you’ll do yourself a lot of harm.”

  He looked down at her, remembered when he’d been determined not to be involved. Now wild horses couldn’t keep him from helping her.

  “I’m already involved,” he said.

  “No, you’re not. I don’t…I don’t want you to feel obligated. I can’t…accept your help, Luke. Especially not now.”

  “Especially not now?” he murmured, smiling. “You have a rather odd sense of the order of things.”

  “Don’t you see what an awkward place you are in already? You’ve…been with me. If…when your father finds out, he’s not going to give credence to anything you say.” Color bloomed in her cheeks. “He may even disown you.”

  “I’ve given up any claim to anything my father has long ago.”

  Chapter Ten

  Open spaces and blue skies weren’t enough to keep Charlotte from getting angry. Luke’s stoic acceptance of his situation made Charlotte see red. He deserved more. He deserved the world. This world, with the drift of the clouds in the wide blue Montana sky stretching over his head. He sat so easy in the saddle, long-legged and supremely male, that even as desire spiraled up inside Charlotte from just looking at him, she wanted to grab his stubborn hide and shake him till his teeth rattled.

  Love rose up, a love that had her gritting her teeth with exasperation. His calm acceptance of his father’s rejection tore at her optimism, her belief in the justice of life. “You deserve your father’s respect.”

  “That isn’t your concern, Charlotte.”

  Hearing her name said in that sober, cool tone made a rush of warmth rise in her face. He didn’t want her involved in his life. It hurt like a blow to the stomach. But she wouldn’t be distracted. Luke was the pigheaded one here. “Why won’t you claim what’s rightfully yours?”

  His dark frown was quick, familiar. “Nothing in this life is ‘rightfully’ anyone’s. My father gave me life, and shelter when I was growing up. That’s all I had a right to expect.”

  “God forbid you should want love and kindness and understanding, too.”

  “I didn’t have your parents,” he said softly. “I’m not sure I knew what I was missing until I met you.”

  Charlotte knew what he was doing. She wouldn’t be distracted by that dark look in his eyes, inviting her to remember what they’d had together. “Why doesn’t he accept you? You’re independent, stubborn, unwilling to ask for help from anyone, so darn exactly like him—”

  “Nothing I like to hear more.”

  She tried to scowl at him, but it was hard, when he was watching her with that lift of his lips. Not laughing at her, laughing at himself. “Well, at least I didn’t say looking at you makes me feel old,” she shot back at him.

  His smile became genuine. “We can be thankful for small blessings.”

  He could warn her off, ply her with charm, but darn it all, she wouldn’t stand by and see Luke just…accept things. There would never be a happy ending for herself and Luke, but she’d always thought there would be a resolution to Luke’s lifelong altercation with his father. She’d have grabbed that particular happy ending off a rainbow if she could. “You deserve the best of everything.”

  His smile twisted, turned faintly self-mocking. “Yes, well, there was the time I would have agreed with you wholeheartedly. Now I’m thankful for the simple things in life-a hot shower, a warm bed, toothpaste when I need it, and a smile from a woman’s lips.”

  “Don’t try to distract me with your flowery love talk.”

  Her tone was ironic, and he bowed his head in acquiescence. “It isn’t flowery or lovely. It’s truth. That’s the way truth is. You’re an eternal optimist, Charlotte, and I like that about you. Your belief that everything is going to be all right is as much a part of you as your breathing, and I wouldn’t change it for the world. Unfortunately, I’m a realist. I’ve been one for a long time. I find that’s what works forme.”

  She ached to tell him that being an optimist was darn hard work, when nearly everybody she loved had gone away, including him. If he really loved her, he’d want her in his future, no matter what his life had been like in the past.

  She couldn’t hate him for not loving her. And she couldn’t hate herself for loving him. She had let him into her life, knowing full well that she could have only what he’d give her. Maybe her heart hadn’t been listening. “I was wrong about you resembling your father. You’ve got more in common with Dad’s old mule.”

  She sat very still in the saddle, knowing, really seeing for the first time, that she’d been foolishly naive, that despite her conscious, logical acceptance that Luke was simply passing through her life, she’d harbored that ancient woman’s hope deep in her heart that making love with her would show him how good they were together, how right it was for them to be together always. Now, in the bright light of day, all the intimacy gone, dashed on the rock of her hope, she knew the truth. Luke was a sophisticated man. He’d taken what she offered. But the game, as he played it, d
idn’t mean a thing. The loving, the laughter, the high joy, he’d given her freely, as a once-in-a-lifetime gift. And that was all it was.

  Charlotte gritted her teeth and whirled Gray Mist around to send him in a dead run toward the ranch. Suicidal, this flying gallop across the range, yet she couldn’t have stopped if she wanted to. Earth flew by her, sky flew by her, and the pounding of her horse’s hooves seemed to beat in her brain—

  A rock-solid hand whipped out from somewhere beside her, snatched up her reins and pulled hard. Those hands meant business. His will over hers. Much as she wanted to resist, Charlotte knew that if she did, Gray Mist would get the worst of it. Already her thigh and leg was scraping against Luke’s and the two horses’ flanks were bumping to-gether.

  Experienced old cow pony that he was, Gray Mist answered Luke’s determined order and reared his head back, coming to a quick stop that nearly unseated Charlotte when Mist’s rear end slid sideways.

  The horses settled; still, Luke looked considerably less self-contained than he had a moment ago. “What do you think you’re doing, trying to kill us both?”

  She glared up into Luke’s darkly beautiful face. “You didn’t have to come haring after me.”

  “Where are you off to in such a hurry?”

  “Getting on with my life. Alone. That’s what you want, isn’t it?”

  He should have known she’d gotten the subtle message he sent. He’d thought that was what he wanted, her getting on with her life and he with his, but after seeing her flying across the grass on the way to killing herself, he’d discovered he didn’t want her going off alone at all. But if he told her that now, the words would sound conciliatory and false. “I’m beginning to think you’re more like that Thoroughbred horse than I thought you were.”

  “Well, being a mule and a Thoroughbred makes us a very mismatched pair. Good thing we weren’t planning to climb into the traces together.”

  Climbing into the traces with her suddenly seemed like a good idea. “Yes, isn’t it?” he drawled, those dark brown eyes locked with hers.

  “Let go of my horse.”

  “Not till you tell me where you’re going.”

  “It’s no concern of yours.” She threw his words back into his face, her eyes hot with defiance. When he simply sat and held on to her, she clapped her hands over his and wrestled with him for possession of the reins. He held fast and let her struggle, thinking she was a hell of a handful and he was crazy to take her on but at the moment it didn’t seem like he had much choice. “You’re not going anywhere until you tell me what you plan to do.”

  She stopped struggling, but her cheeks were rosy with her fury. “I’m not on the witness stand here. Let go of me.”

  Luke leaned forward a little, and sexual awareness flared like lightning and flooded every cell of Charlotte’s body. He was dark and close and beautiful, and she ached to fit that hard mouth to hers, to cool the conflagration in her—or send the flames higher.

  He smiled, but she didn’t like the tenor of his amusement.

  “You wouldn’t by any chance be off to face down my brother Nick on the streets of Two Trees like something out of High Noon, would you?”

  “Why not? I already faced down one brother and lost. Why not make it two for two?”

  “You haven’t lost with me, Charlotte.”

  “Please don’t lie to me. We’ve always had honesty between us. Let’s keep that, at least.”

  She moved to rein her horse away from him, but he held her mount steady and said, “Promise me you won’t confront Nick.”

  “Don’t you think I would have done it months ago if I thought it would do any good? He’s too darn volatile for that. He-”

  She caught a glimpse of the sudden flare of darkness in Luke’s eyes, and she clamped her mouth shut. It was too late.

  His face cool and very, very controlled, like his voice, he said softly, “He’s always been very careful to keep that side of himself hidden from everybody. How did you find out about my brother’s…volatility?”

  “That’s none of your concern.”

  He took the blow without flinching, thinking it was no less than he deserved. His hands tightened on hers ever so slightly. “My best guess is something happened during that ill-fated Christmas good-will-to-men peacekeeping mission of yours, and you’re not going anywhere until you tell me what it was.”

  “Nothing happened. We just agreed to disagree, that’s all.”

  “What else? There has to be something else.”

  “Well, he started to get slurpy, and it was all so fake that he made me really angry, so I waited just long enough to catch him off his guard, then I pushed him out of his car and slammed the door shut and locked it. I drove his car home and parked it at the bottom of the drive to Henry’s house. I thought the walk home would do him good. It was only a couple of miles. Well, maybe three.”

  The light of laughter came into Luke’s eyes. “I would have given up my Christmas bonus to see that.” And he did see it, in his mind’s eye. He saw how furious Nick would have been, how even Henry would have been aware that Charlotte had gotten the best of Nick. He knew from his long experience with Nick how avidly eager his brother would be for revenge—and to what lengths he’d go to achieve it.

  Beyond Luke, back by the creek, a branch rattled, the pale green leaves vibrating in a way that had nothing to do with the tender, rain-misted breeze. A horse emerged, sashaying sideways, looking skittish and jumpy. It was the jet-black gelding that Nick rode, its saddle empty, the stirrups dangling. With a lot more thrashing and a lot less finesse, Princess burst through the brush, trotting after the black, as if her newfound, quicker-footed friend were trying to leave her behind.

  “What the-?”

  The bushes rattled again, and Nick came bursting through. His always flawless hair was tousled, and his face was dark with irritation. He growled something Charlotte was glad she couldn’t understand, and then he pivoted around to snatch his hat back from the branch where it was caught.

  Luke looked very serious, but Charlotte knew it was costing the man dearly to keep his cheek muscles under control. She could feel all her own anger dissolving in the urge to smile.

  “That damn cow is the daughter of the devil.” Nick smoothed his hair and settled his hat on his head.

  “Speak of the devil,” Luke murmured to Charlotte, “and there he is. Courtesy of the cutest little bovine bar crasher in the West.” He raised his voice to speak to Nick. “She flushed your horse out of that bush like quail. What were you doing…standing in the bushes spying on us?” Luke leaned back in the saddle, his eyes half-closed. He looked as if he weren’t interested in much of anything, but Charlotte bet he’d noticed that Nick’s horse’s legs were dark with damp.

  Nick’s face cleared, and he looked very sure of himself, as if denial after getting caught red-handed was an old game for him. “I didn’t even know you were here,” Nick said, very evenly, swinging himself into the saddle, looking much happier to be able to meet their eyes on the same level. “I was checking on our cattle. Taking care of the ranch’s business.” Nick’s gaze wandered to Charlotte, and his mouth took an unpleasant tilt. “A concept that seems to be foreign to you, brother. What have you been doing? Or do I need to ask? You didn’t come home last night. Hard to believe you stayed out in the rain all night. Did you find shelter somewhere?”

  “Aren’t you on the wrong side of the creek?” Charlotte asked coldly.

  “I wouldn’t be, if your damn cow hadn’t startled my horse and chased him over here.”

  “I’ll have to buy Princess another beer the next time we’re in town together,” Luke murmured. “Turns out she’s got more class than I thought.”

  “I’ll throw in a glass of champagne.” For Charlotte, it was hard to look at Nick’s saturnine face and remember he was related to Luke. And yet there was a family resemblance in the shape of Nick’s jaw, the brown depth of his eyes, the coffee-brown hair. That resemblance had fooled her i
nto thinking that Nick could be talked out of this insanity. Now, watching Nick stare at Luke, his eyes hot with jealousy, Charlotte realized she had confused resemblance with likeness.

  She’d make Nick think about something other than his hatred for Luke.

  “We found the cattle you cut out last night, Nick.”

  Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Luke’s horse move, as if he were directing his mount to come between Charlotte and Nick.

  “Charlotte—”

  She ignored Luke. Her concentration was on Nick. “But then, I suppose you wanted us to find them.”

  Nick’s face took on that blank, innocent look he could do so well. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “The new cattle you branded with my brand. Where did you get the second branding iron?”

  “You must be crazy.” He moved to ride off.

  “You’re the one who’s crazy,” Luke said, “if you think you can get away with more of this stupidity.” Luke’s eyes were so cold that even Charlotte was taken aback by the damped-down force, the cold control.

  Nick lifted his head and managed to look nearly as cold as Luke, with an added measure of contempt. “I always knew you never really thought of yourself as my brother. This proves it. If you’re willing to side with a two-bit hustler like her—”

  “I warned you once before to watch what you said about Charlotte in my presence.” Luke moved his horse closer to Nick’s. “Now I’m warning you again. Don’t push me, brother. When I think about those two cows you botchbranded last night, I find I’m not exactly filled with fraternal charity for you.”

  “When did you ever feel charitable toward me? You’re no brother of mine.” Nick wheeled his horse around and, with a yank on the reins, skirted Princess and sent the black flying back across the grass toward the creek.

  When Nick reached the safety of the trees, he slowed the black down and turned him around quietly. He wanted to see what they were doing, his traitorous brother and the little cheat. They were still sitting there talking, looking all cozy and close. Well, he’d give them something to talk about, all right, and real soon.