by Golden Angel
So he could only assume that now Marissa was trying to make the effort.
Would have been nice if she'd tried to do that years ago. But if she had, he might not be with Leigh now... and he really did like Leigh. A lot. Enough that he worried this new turn of Marissa's might somehow come back to hurt her. Not that any of his friends seemed interested in making friends with Marissa.
Lexie seemed confused, Andrew and Liam were definitely suspicious, Justin and Chris were protective more than anything else, Rick's text almost sounded amused (probably Maria's influence), and Olivia... well Olivia was Olivia. The only ones he hadn't heard from were Patrick and Adam, and he assumed that was because Marissa hadn't been able to get to them. Patrick had probably been in his office and... well maybe Adam wasn't there or Marissa was smart enough to stay away from him and Angel the same way she'd stayed away from Olivia tonight. There was no way Angel would take kindly to Marissa's sudden turnaround, and Adam was even more protective of Leigh than he was of Lexie in some ways. Probably because he considered himself Leigh's number one protector, whereas Patrick was definitely Lexie's.
Something that chafed Jared a bit, but he was willing to put up with it for now. After all, she was living in Adam's house.
What do you want me to do?
What do you want me to do?
What do you want me to do?
What do you want me to do?
Everyone except Olivia had asked. Which made him feel both better and worse. He loved his friends for not trying to make trouble for him. At the same time, he hated that they were all assuming that they should hold back from showing their true feelings to Marissa because they might get back together. They weren't going to, dammit, and he thought he'd made that clear. He couldn't blame his friends for their assumption though, he'd done that to himself, by getting back together with her over and over again.
It was fucking frustrating. Was everyone just sitting around, waiting for him to get back together with Marissa and ditch Leigh?
He really wished she'd stayed over tonight. Were the groups' doubts infecting her? Had she wanted to go home because she was still trying to keep some distance between them, just in case? God, he hoped not.
Resigned, he texted everyone back one simple message.
I'll talk to her.
Even though it was late, it was obvious she'd still be up if she'd been at the club. As the phone rang, some part of him perked up with the hope that maybe she was still in the club and he could just leave a message telling her to back off and leave him and-
"Jared!"
Damn. There was a gleeful delight in her voice, as if she was truly happy to hear from him. Which just made him feel worse.
"Marissa." He said her name flatly, hoping that she would get the heads up that this was not a fun-time phone call.
She practically purred back, her voice sultry. Message obviously not received. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"
"I heard you were talking to my friends tonight."
"I was! I did. I had no idea what I was missing out on in the past... I know I can be kind of introverted, but I really should have made the effort to get to know them sooner. Getting to talk to everyone tonight was wonderful." This was easier to deal with. He could actually hear her acting her ass off; lying was so much easier for him to handle than the honest delight when she'd first picked up the phone. Talking to his friends hadn't been wonderful for her and he could hear it in her voice.
Who did she think she was fooling?
"Well they don't agree."
"Everyone was perfectly nice to me, they could have told me if they wanted me to go away." He could practically see her pout in his mind.
"They were being polite. From now on, please leave my friends alone." He said it firmly, so that it didn't sound like a request even if he was being polite.
"It was just conversations. They could have told me to go away," she said defensively, sounding hurt. "This is what you always wanted from me."
"It's not what I want now, Marissa. Just leave it alone."
"No."
"What?"
"No. I'm not going to stop fighting for you. I love you and I'm going to prove to you that we should be together, the way we've always known we should be, the way we planned to be," she said fiercely and, before he could respond, hung up the phone.
Dammit. He stared at the coffee table, tempted to start banging his head again, except that it was already sore from when he'd banged it against the steering wheel.
Why? Why was she doing this now when it was too little, too late?
He put his phone down and looked around, feeling blank and drained when only an hour ago he'd been sitting in almost this exact same spot feeling lighthearted and blissful. It was too late at night to call Leigh. He had no idea whether she'd be up or not and she still had a day at work tomorrow, so even if she was still up she should be going to bed soon.
They were getting together tomorrow before his shift at Stronghold. He could hold out till then.
******
"Maybe she's really realized that she doesn't want to lose you," Leigh said, graciously, giving Jared a lopsided smile. "Or maybe it's a case of not wanting someone else to have you."
"Well if it's the former, she's way too late," Jared said, shaking his head. He looked incredibly tired and Leigh's heart ached a little bit for him. She couldn't even imagine how difficult this must be for him. Although part of her was just a teensy bit jealous too.
She didn't want to get back together with Michael anymore, she really didn't... but some part of her wished that he wanted to get back together with her, just so she could tell him no. It was a mean little part of her, but she couldn't help it. Maybe she just wanted acknowledgment that he regretted losing her, the way Marissa obviously regretted losing Jared.
Stupid to be jealous, really, because she knew that in the same position she'd be feeling just as badly as Jared did, but there it was.
"Maybe she just can't stand to see me happy," he muttered, taking a sip of his beer.
He'd taken her downtown, near Stronghold, for happy hour. Angel and Adam were going to meet her at the club and take her home later, which worked out rather nicely for everyone. Since they were going out first, they'd both brought clothes to change into. Jared was in jeans and a crew neck burgundy shirt that was fitted without being tight, while Leigh was still in the dress slacks and royal blue long sleeved blouse that she'd worn to work that morning. She felt a little frumpy for a date, but the appreciative look in Jared's eyes hadn't even flickered when she'd taken off her coat.
"Maybe," Leigh said. She sighed, reaching over to touch Jared's hand. Immediately his fingers curled around hers, warming them and deepening the touch, almost like he was clinging to her... like a port in the storm. The same way she clung to him sometimes. "You can't help what she's doing though, the only thing you can control is your actions. I guess you're not ignoring her anymore?"
"Well it didn't really work."
Leigh's lips quirked. "You didn't really give it a chance to. You could have just told everyone else to ignore her because you are, but instead you responded. Now she knows how to get a response from you."
"I just thought it would be better if I told her directly to leave them alone," he said defensively.
"Maybe. But whatever you decide to do, you should stick with it. I can tell you, from my own experience, when someone doesn't answer your late night phone calls for a month and doesn't respond to any of your drunken text messages, it sends a very clear message that things are over."
The hard expression on his face immediately softened, his fingers tightening around hers. "That sounds kind of rough."
"It was, but it was also effective. At the time I was hurt and angry that he wouldn't even talk to me, but since I only wanted to talk to him to try to win him back..." She sighed again, looking away from Jared as the familiar feeling of regret and shame washed over her. Thinking about the way she'd tried to cling to Michael always
made her feel kind of pathetic. But she'd truly thought they were meant to be together, that they could work through anything given the time and she'd always thought he'd felt the same way. "I mean, we eventually talked, but not until I'd really gotten the message that it was over. Calling him at two in the morning because I was lonely in my bed... that's just not acceptable and I know that now. Now it makes me feel like an idiot for even having done it in the first place. But I'm glad he didn't answer. If he had, I don't know that I could have ever given up. I'm not saying you're leading her on by responding, because I know you don't mean to, but in a way that's kind of what switching tactics is going to seem like. If you're going to ignore her, then responding to her when she finds a new way to get to you isn't exactly consistent."
******
Looking at Leigh, Jared tried not to feel too defensive. Logically, he knew that she wasn't telling him he'd done something wrong, she wasn't attacking or blaming him... but at the same time, he hated hearing yet another person pointing out his flaws in dealing with Marissa. At least Leigh was sympathetic though, which he tried to remind himself. Not just to him, but to Marissa.
He also hated hearing about how she'd done something similar with Michael. Because he could see the pain in her eyes, the sadness in her smile, when she talked about being lonely in her bed. He knew what that was like. And he wanted to make it better for her, but he couldn't. He didn't want to put Marissa through the same pain, but he had to. At least, if he was going to be happy then he had to, and he deserved to be happy.
He deserved to be with someone who made him happy.
Even if right now he mostly felt frustration, anxiety, and a touch of misery. But then, that was usually the case when it came to Marissa. He just hated how it was spilling over onto his time with Leigh, which usually made him feel the opposite. He especially hated feeling defensive around her.
"This fucking sucks."
His sour tone surprised a laugh out of Leigh, which made him smile reluctantly as well.
"I know," she said, still smiling, but with an expression and voice full of empathy. Not pity, not impatience or hidden judgment, like most people, but with complete understanding.
Which made it easier to wash away the need to explain or defend himself. He relaxed slightly.
"Did you know you're pretty amazing?" he asked, his smiling growing as she blushed. He meant it too. All day he'd been wound up. Even meeting with her, telling her about everything that had gone down with Marissa last night, he'd been almost expecting... well he didn't know what he'd been expecting. He knew that Leigh got him, got what he was going through, but for some reason he'd come into this conversation warily. Waiting for her to react like his other friends. Or like a demanding girlfriend.
Instead, she was just as sweet and understanding as always. Sure, her voice had a bit of an edge to it when she'd been talking about the need for him to be consistent, but he couldn't blame her for that. He really wanted to spend less time talking about Marissa with her. But at the same time, he wanted her to know what was going on, he didn't want her to ever think that he'd hidden something about him and his ex from her.
Argh. The whole situation really did fucking suck. Except Leigh. She was his shining light in the middle of a gloomy swamp.
Chapter 12
Looking around the main floor of Stronghold, Leigh relaxed when she didn't see Marissa. That didn't mean that Jared's ex would stay home tonight, but at least she wasn't here yet. Leigh really had no idea what to do about that situation. She didn't know what she would say if Marissa approached her again.
As patient as she was, as understanding as she tried to be, Marissa was really starting to get on her last nerve. Yeah, she understood wanting to hang onto your man, but she also had to remember that her and Marissa's experiences weren't exactly the same. In Marissa and Jared's relationship, Jared was more in Leigh's place and Marissa was in Michael's. If she really wanted to hang onto Jared, shouldn't she have not broken up with him constantly? Not insisted on an open relationship whenever she went traveling? Which was apparently pretty often.
It was starting to make her angry on Jared's behalf, the way Marissa was manipulating him. It made her a little mad at him too, because he let her. But she knew that getting mad at him wasn't going to help her. She wasn't going to fight Marissa for him, that was just stupid, but she wasn't going to push him away either.
She didn't want Jared to choose her over Marissa. If he wanted to be with Marissa, then he should choose her. Leigh didn't want to be a winner in a competition with Jared as the prize. She just wanted him to want to be with her.
But she also didn't want to be with someone who was going to jump whenever his ex whistled. She got that Jared didn't want to hurt Marissa, but in the long run it was better to choose a way to deal with her and stick to it. Changing things up, just because she changed up the way she tried to approach him, meant that she was still controlling the situation.
Actually, it was making her kind of grateful that Michael had been so firmly distant this time around. Yeah he'd tried to call her on New Year’s Eve, but that had been after months of no contact. Then again, he also wasn't the type to say, "I want to get back together." That had always been up to her. This time she'd chosen not to. She’d actually gone and found someone else, even if it was complicated. She’d even mentioned Jared to her parents, although just by name and that she was kind of seeing someone. It was too early to tell them much more, considering the current drama.
"Hey girlfriend!" Sharon appeared at Leigh's side, her generous curves stuffed into a dark red leather corset and shiny, black, PVC mini-skirt. She had her long black hair pulled back into a high ponytail that brushed her upper back as it swung back and forth. The petite brunette teetered on four-inch high heels that made her level with Leigh's shoulder. "What are you doing here all alone?"
"Angel and Adam are meeting me here, they must be late," Leigh said, glancing over to the bar area. To her surprise, none of the usual group was there. Andrew wasn't even behind the bar; it was being tended by two of the Dommes and a young man that Leigh didn't recognize.
"Oh good, you can hang out with me then," Sharon said, grabbing Leigh's hand and pulling her towards the bar. "Maybe the guys will leave me alone if I'm with you."
"You want them to?" Leigh asked, amused.
Sharon had been going through the Stronghold Doms like a plow through a field, and so far hadn't found a single one to her liking. Some of them actually seemed a little scared of her. Others considered her a challenge, but were stymied by her hard limits. As far as Leigh could tell, Sharon wasn't exactly looking for a Dom so much as she was looking for a man who was dominant in the bedroom.
"For tonight. I'm just window shopping, not trying anything on," Sharon said, climbing onto an empty bar stool while Leigh sat down next to her. It actually felt a little strange to be sitting at the bar and not at one of the tables, but since it was just her and Sharon for right now, it didn't make sense to grab one of the tables. Maybe when Angel and Adam got there. Sharon leaned in towards Leigh, lowering her voice to a whisper. "Actually, I'm really just here for moral support."
"Moral support?"
"Hey ladies, what can I get you?" Mistress Lisa asked, interrupting. Curiosity burned as Leigh quickly ordered a dirty martini (heck, she wasn't going to be playing tonight) and Sharon did the same, asking for extra olives. As soon as Mistress Lisa turned away to get their drinks, Leigh leaned back into Sharon.
"What do you mean moral support?"
Sharon's dark eyes were sparkling with mischief. It was obvious she was brimming with a secret that she was dying to share. "Aren't you wondering why Andrew's not behind the bar? And where Kate is?"
Actually, the latter hadn't even occurred to Leigh, but it should have. Seeing Sharon at Stronghold without Kate was just as odd as seeing Leigh there without Angel.
Suddenly Sharon's comment about moral support made a lot more sense. Leigh blinked.
"Oh my god
."
"Yup. They didn't tell anyone, except me when Kate and I got here," Sharon said with a smirk. "And not until we got onto the main floor. I only know because Kate wanted me to drive, so that if she's all spacey after the scene she's not stuck here. Unless, of course, she wants to be. I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who knows though. And now you."
Leigh blinked again. "I guess that takes some of the pressure off. Holy crap though..."
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's not going to stay a secret for long," Sharon said blithely. "I mean, seriously... Andrew and Kate scening together?" She snickered, waving her hands in the air. "Explosions imminent!"
******
Peeking into the main room again, Jared relaxed when he saw that Leigh was sitting at the bar with Sharon. While he would have preferred to have a Dom sitting with them as well, Sharon was a firecracker who didn't take shit from anyone, and both Mistresses Lisa and Erin would keep an eye on the subbies. No one would mess with either of those Dommes, and they wouldn't let anyone mess with the girls.
"Still safe and sound?" asked Lexie, watching him with amusement from her place behind the front desk. She looked a little wistful too; probably wishing she was inside chatting with Leigh rather than working. But Freddy had called in sick and so Lexie had picked up the shift until later in the evening when Traci could come in and cover. She was dressed a lot more modestly than when she used to work at the front desk; wearing a black crop top and a flowing black skirt that went down to the floor. Jared appreciated it, even if he had gotten used to seeing her with nothing more than tape over her nipples and the shortest skirts known to mankind. She was still like a little sister to him and this look was much better. Granted, she'd probably been naked in Patrick's office beforehand, and these were the only clothes that she had around, but he was good at pretending that wasn't the case.
"Yeah, she and Sharon are at the bar. Where's Andrew, by the way? I thought he was working tonight."
Lexie glanced down at the computer screen and pursed her lips as she moved the mouse around, clicking it a couple of times. "It looks like he's on later tonight, but.... huh. He reserved the Interrogation Room tonight, but he didn't put down who he's playing with. Ellie's not here either, I know she couldn't come in tonight... so..."
