by L A Cotton
Eyes locked on hers, I approached slowly until I was right behind her. Lo's hands were braced on the counter, knuckles white with frustration. I reached for her, ghosting my hand up her spine, brushing her hair off her shoulder to reveal smooth skin. Her eyes fluttered shut, but I said, “Look at me, London.”
Surprise flared in her gaze. She hated when I called her that, but I could handle feisty Lo. I could handle the girl who had given me a run for my money during her first few weeks in Wicked Bay. I could handle the push and pull between us.
I couldn't handle this.
Pressing closer, I wrapped my other arm around her waist pulling her flush against me. Soft and hard. Rough and smooth. “I was going to tell you, I promise,” I whispered into the curve of Lo’s neck, and her pulse fluttered wildly while my fingers glided down between the valley of her tits. Heat flashed in my stomach and I pressed harder, showing her what she did to me.
Lo fought back a soft moan. “I thought I could do it,” she choked. “I thought I could be okay with this, but now I'm not sure…”
I spun her around and slammed my lips down ending the conversation, sliding my hands down to her thighs and lifting her onto the edge of the counter.
This was all I needed. Her. Us. Desperate kisses and shallow breaths.
As long as I had this, I could walk on water. I could do whatever my father demanded. Because my future was only worth fighting for if Lo was in it.
I couldn't lose her.
Not over him.
Not over this.
“I love you,” I said between needy kisses. “I love you, I love you.”
She had to know. She had to feel it. To sense it.
Silence met my words but Lo didn't pull away either. She kissed me harder, her fingers digging into my shoulders. How things had reversed. Four months ago, she'd been the one desperate for my touch, but now I couldn't get enough. I'd bled out in front of her, literally, and she still couldn't say the words I needed to hear.
I dragged my hand down her body, pressing and kneading until I reached the juncture of her thighs. Breaking the kiss, I stared at her. Cheeks flushed. Eyes half-mast. Lo watched me as I pressed the heel of my palm against her warmth.
“Oh God,” she panted.
“Only you, Lo,” I reminded her as if I was the one in control. As if I held her heart in the palm of my hand. But I didn't.
She owned me.
Every broken fucked up little piece.
Her eyes told me what I needed to know. She felt it too. She just couldn’t say it. Something was holding her back and for as much as it stung, I wanted her to protect herself. To keep those words locked away until this shitstorm blew over. Until she knew, without doubt, that I was in. All in. Because the idea of hurting her, of breaking her heart, killed me. And I knew it wouldn’t only be her in tatters.
I wouldn’t survive it either.
“Kiss me,” she whispered.
And I did. Deep and slow, exploring her mouth with my tongue. I would have climbed inside her if I could have. My fingers dug into her ass, dragging her closer to me until her legs were wrapped around my waist.
“Too many clothes.” She swallowed my words as I lifted her off the counter and set her down on the floor, my hands wasting no time undressing her.
Her hoodie went first. Then her t-shirt. My jersey was next. Jeans. Until there was a pile of clothes at our feet and nothing separating us but our underwear.
“You look a little bit dirty,” I said raking my eyes down her body at the inches upon inches of smooth milky skin.
“I do, huh?”
My hungry gaze landed on Lo’s wide-eyes and I smirked. “Oh yeah. I think we need to get you cleaned up.” I took her hand and pulled her toward the shower.
“Maverick, we’re supposed to be studying.”
“Shower. Then study.” I reached in and turned on the jets. We hadn’t done this yet. But now I’d thought of it, I couldn’t unthink it. Lo. Wet and soapy. Skin on skin. Her pressed up against the tiles while I—
Her hand glided over my junk and I almost came right there. “Jesus, Lo,” I hissed, and she giggled. We made quick work of stripping off the rest of our clothes and then we were stumbling into the shower unwilling to come up for air.
I chased the water over her body with my fingers, my tongue, while my fingers slid between her legs, warm and wet and tight. Fuck. This was going to be over quicker than I planned if she kept up her whimpers and moans.
“Maverick… Maverick… Rick...” Lo chanted. Over and over. As I explored every inch of her. “I need…” Her teeth dragged over her lip.
“What? What do you need?” I lowered my face to hers, crowding her against the tiles, cupping her jaw as the water rained down on us.
Lo’s eyes flickered open. Heavy with lust. Glittering with what I wanted to believe was love. “You, I need…” I hooked my fingers inside her, rubbing my thumb over her clit, slamming my lips to hers, swallowing the string of moans. Her whole body coiled tight as she clung to me, and I knew she was close.
“Hold tight,” I whispered into her ear as I withdrew my fingers and hitched Lo's legs around my waist, pressing her back against the wall. Her arms wound around my neck while I worked to get us in position and then I eased inside of her, slowly, inch by inch until I could feel nothing but her. Think nothing but her.
Her.
Her.
Her.
Lo
“Is it true?” Laurie dropped down beside me as I picked at my salad.
“Is what true?”
She leaned in close, whispering, “That Maverick is taking Caitlin to some party tomorrow?”
I went back to my lunch, pushing the green wilted leaves around my plate.
“Lo.” Her elbow nudged my side.
“What?” I snapped, my wide gaze meeting hers. “What do you want me to say?”
“I—” The colour drained from her face. “Crap, I’m sorry. I just heard some girls talking in the bathroom and I…”
“You what?”
“I shouldn’t have said anything, sorry.”
“Ugh. It’s fine.” My eyes flicked over to Caitlin and her friends. “I just…” The words died on my lips leaving a sour taste on my tongue. “I don’t want to know. So, whatever you hear, whatever you might see, I don’t want to know. Got it?”
“And you’re okay with that? I mean, if it were me, and I had to watch Kyle with some other girl.” She shuddered, the reality of her words hanging between us.
“It’s better this way.” After Maverick pulled me into the shower and made love to me, I asked him to promise we’d leave her at the door. I didn’t want to talk about her… them. I didn’t want to know the details. Did he place his hand on the small of her back? Did he pick her up from her house?
I wanted to know nothing.
Not unless she tried to make a move and then I wouldn’t be held responsible for my actions. Even though I knew it would eat away at me like a slow poison infiltrating my veins, I knew how he felt about me. I knew he loved me. That’s what I would focus on.
Him.
Me.
Us.
Laurie slurped her juice and tipped the cup in my direction. “You’re a stronger girl than me, Lo. He’s lucky to have you.”
Lips pressed together, I gave her a small nod of appreciation.
“Okay.” She placed the cup down and grinned, a sparkle of mischief in her eyes. “We should go out Saturday. Keep your mind off things.”
“I don’t know.”
“You really want to stay home and obsess over what they’re doing?”
No. I didn’t.
God, I didn’t.
“Okay, I’m in.”
A squeal of excitement slipped from her lips. “This is perfect. Girl’s night. I’ll text Autumn and we can make plans.”
“Nothing too crazy, Laurie.” The last thing I needed was to be faced with temptation. It wouldn’t end well.
But then my gaze
landed on Caitlin again and a flash of white hot jealousy burned through me. My fingers curled around the edge of the chair, biting against the plastic. As if she felt me watching, her eyes slid to mine, and her lips curved in a smug smile.
“Lo, what’s wro— Oh. Maybe you should…”
The buzz of anger drowned out my friend’s voice. Caitlin knew what she was doing. She thought this lame attempt at getting her claws back into Maverick was going to work. But she’d underestimated one thing.
Me.
~
“All good, Cous?” Kyle slung his arm over my shoulder and yelled over the music. I nodded, taking another sip of beer. Girls night had turned into a party at one of Kyle’s teammates. Although the football season was officially over, the guys still trained together. Partied together. Caused general mayhem in the hallways at school.
“You know he’s only doing this because he has to, right?” Kyle’s voice dropped an octave as he leaned in close. “He would never—”
I slammed my hand against his chest and said, “Stop. I’m fine. Okay? Everything is fine.”
His eyes said he didn’t believe me, but he gave me an easy smile before warning me to behave. Kyle slipped away, disappearing into the crowd of people.
“Was that my boyfriend?” Laurie said coming up beside me.
“Yeah. You haven’t seen him yet?”
“I’ll see him later, he knows the rule on girls’ night.” She linked her arm through mine and steered me over to Autumn and a couple of other girls from our class. I found it an odd thing to say given girls’ night had never stopped Kyle from stealing Laurie away before.
I listened to their conversation. What boys were here. Who was hooking up with who. Who wanted to hook up with who. I smiled in the right places and added my two cents here and there, but my mind was elsewhere. Specifically, the business dinner at The Coastal, an upmarket hotel and restaurant downtown. True to our words, I hadn’t asked Maverick anything about tonight, and he’d offered nothing. But I overheard Dad talking on the phone with Stella about it when he thought I wasn’t listening. He’d been more than suspicious when I told him we’d cooled things off. But he didn’t push. He never pushed. Probably scared of tipping me over the deep end again.
“Oh, I love this one,” one of the girls—Amber, I think—shrieked with delight. “Come on, let’s dance.”
They started moving toward the reception room where a DJ was set up. But Laurie paused when she realised I wasn’t following. “Lo?” she said over her shoulder.
“Go, I’ll be right there. I need to find the bathroom first.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah, go.”
“Okay, but come straight back. It’s down the hall, last door on the left.”
I gave her a weak smile, downed the rest of my beer, and went in search of the bathroom. A couple of boys smiled at me as I passed them. It happened more often since everyone thought Maverick had cast me aside. But I didn’t use my name to win any popularity contests at school. I kept my head down, worked hard in class, and stayed out of the spotlight.
And for the most part, it worked.
But I was still a mystery. An enigma. And I’d been Maverick’s girlfriend—if only for a brief moment in time. It gave girls an excuse to hate me and boys a reason to want me. Outside the bathroom, I gripped the handle and pushed just as the door swung open and I stumbled straight into someone.
“Shit, sorry.” I steadied myself only to be met with a deep scowl. “Macey?”
“Really, Lo? Could you be any lamer?”
“Whatever, are you done? I need to pee.”
She went to move and then paused, a strange expression crossing her face. “What’s Maverick doing, Lo?”
My brows knitted together. It was the last thing I expected to come from her mouth. “Excuse me?” I choked out only to be met with a heavy sigh.
“I know he’s up to something. He’s with her tonight, isn’t he? Caitlin? She’s been telling everyone who’ll listen that they’re back together.”
I stared at her, pushing down the flare of anger in my stomach, unsure of what she wanted. She’d barely spoken two words to me since Christmas. And even fewer before then.
“Fine. I get it. I’ve been a bitch. Don’t take it personally. It’s not you, it’s everyone.”
Okay then.
“And yeah, maybe I didn’t like that he wanted you. That he pushed me out, for you. That’s how I know he’s up to something. Maverick has never acted the way he does with you. Never. And he hates Caitlin.”
“Maybe you should ask him,” I said, still in shock we were having this conversation.
“I’ve tried, but he shut me out. It’s because of him, isn’t it?”
She didn’t need to explain, I knew exactly who she was referring to. “I really think you should talk to Mave—” But Macey cut me off.
“Don’t let him do this, Lo. I know my brother and I know he probably thinks he’s doing what needs to be done, but you can’t play by his rules and win. No one can.”
“I…”
Macey was gone leaving me standing there, gaping after her. I closed the door and turned the lock. Bracing my hands on the ceramic sink, I drew in a couple of deep breaths. Macey was jealous. Summer and Kyle told me as much, and in a strange way, I got it. Until I arrived on the scene, it had been her and Maverick. The two of them against the rest of the world. But the desperation in her voice had thrown me for a loop.
When I was done, I rinsed my hands and steeled myself for whatever was on the other side of the door, but when I yanked it open and saw Devon standing there, I felt like I was stuck in the middle of a nightmare.
“Hey.” He dragged a hand through his shaggy hair.
“I’m done, it’s all yours.” I went to move around him. It was our game lately. I dodged him in the hallways at school. He sat away from me in the couple of classes we shared.
“Lo, wait,” he called after me and maybe it was the beer or my run in with Macey or the unspoken apology in his eyes every time I looked at him, but this time I didn’t walk away. I turned around and released a deep sigh. “Yeah?”
“I—” he hesitated clearly stunned that I was still standing here. “Sorry, I’m sorry. I really screwed up.”
“Yeah, you did.”
“I just, shit, this isn’t easy, and it’s kind of loud.” He glanced around. It was quieter down this end of the house, but the thump of the music still reverberated off the walls. “Can we go somewhere and talk?”
“I don’t think so, Devon.”
“Right, sorry.”
“Laurie told me you stuck up for me, with Caitlin?”
“Yeah, hmm, I…”
“Thanks, I appreciate it.” I smiled, and it wasn’t forced or strained. Because I was grateful. He’d hurt me, sure. But I suspected it was more about getting the girl and hurting Maverick. I’d been collateral damage, caught in the crossfire.
“See you around, Devon.”
His mouth opened to reply, but I spun on my heels and this time, I did walk away. But I felt lighter somehow. Things would never be the same between us but maybe, one day, we could be friends again.
~
“Fuck, how much did she drink?” Kyle eyed the drunk girl beside me, his brows knitted together.
“Don’t look at me,” I said. “I didn’t force her to drink all those jello shots. Is everything okay with you two? She seemed… I don’t know. On a mission to get wasted.” The more I thought about it, Laurie had been acting weird for a while.
Kyle grumbled something under his breath as he manoeuvred the Jeep out of the line of cars parked alongside the house.
“Kyle, what’s going on?” Laurie hiccupped before snuggling in closer and I smoothed her hair out of my face. “This is me, if something’s wrong—”
“Nothing’s wrong. I’m taking heat from Coach about my college applications and there’s all this stuff with you and…” his voice trailed off.
�
�Whoa, don’t blame me for you acting like a dick.”
“I’ll take care of it.” His eyes flickered to the lifeless girl pressed against me.
“Hurt her and I’ll kick your arse.”
His smooth chuckle filled the Jeep. “Like you could take me.”
I raised an eyebrow and stuck my tongue out at him just as we pulled up outside my house. Untangling Laurie from my arms, I laid her against the window.
“You’ll be okay getting her home?”
“Yeah, it’s a good thing her mom and dad are away again.”
“I’ll text you tomorrow.” I went to push open the door when his voice gave me pause.
“Lo, this shit with Mave—never mind.” My eyes followed whatever it was that had caught his eye. Maverick stood outside my door, hands shoved deep in his pockets. He looked so handsome in the dark jeans and shirt. It reminded me of Winter Formal. But then I remembered where he’d been, why he was dressed like that and all my lust fuelled thoughts fell away.
“Will you be okay?” I barely heard Kyle’s question over the thud of my pulse in my ears.
“Yeah. I’ll text you tomorrow.” Warm air brushed my skin as I climbed out, doing little to calm my racing heart. Relief and anger swirled together, rushing through my veins, stealing my breath as I walked up the driveway to my house.
To Maverick.
“Hey,” he said rocking on the balls of his feet, eyes planted firmly on the ground.
“Hi.” I dug out my key and slid it into the lock. It clicked open, but I didn’t push the door. “What are you doing here?”
He gaze snapped to mine, and he gave me a look that said ‘Really, Lo’, but I didn’t take the bait, waiting for him to explain himself. “I just needed to see you, but I can go?” Uncertainty lingered in his voice, touching a place deep inside of me.
“Stay,” I whispered. “You can stay.”
Because despite my anger. The pain carved in my chest. I couldn’t tell him no.
I never could.
